NationStates Jolt Archive

I did .... here's what I sent:

1 Your name and e-mail address?
James fishpaw@gmail.com

2 What makes NationStates interesting for you?
I have an obsessive desire to push buttons and make arbitrary decisions.

3 What would you change about the game?
More dancing girls!

4 Why would you like to become an admin?
I hear you all get the best bourbon and a 10% off discount card for Land's End.

5 Describe one thing a current online multiplayer game (of your choice) does better than its competition.
World of Warcraft has much, much better Elves than Call of Duty has, though Call of Duty is far superior in the German uniforms department.

6 Are you currently bound by any Non-Disclosure Agreements or other documents that may claim ownership of ideas/code that you generate? (If you are unsure, please check.)
I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.

7 As an admin, you'd have access to the NationStates source code, but be required to keep it confidential. Any problem with that?
Why ... do you have something to hide? *shifty*

8 Have you created or worked on a game before?
I created this great game where people sit around, you deal out all the cards in a deck, throw your cards onto the table and scream, "I WIN!" and a good time is had by all.

9 Which variants of Linux/Unix do you have experience with, and how much?
A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell.

10 What programming experience do you have? Have you coded in Perl before?
I knew a Perl once. She lived up the road from our farmhouse. She had an amazing number of cats and one day she died and nobody knew it until the mailman wondered why she stopped checking her mail. The police went in to find half of Perl and a lot of very fat cats.

11 vi or emacs?
You kiss your mother with that mouth?

12 What version of Apache is the NationStates server running? How do you know?
Silly Billies ... Apache is an American Indian tribe.

13 Through which organization/company/etc. is the nationstates.net domain name registered? How do you know?
Clearly it is a multi-national conglomerate and a wholely owned subsidiary of the Chubb Group. How I know this is irrelevant.

14 This is a block of code from the game. What does it do?
Like all code, it erodes the human soul.

15 What are some bugs in NationStates?
Exopterygota Odonata, Apterygota Thysanura, and I think I saw some Endopterygota Siphonaptera infesting the FAQ page.

16 SalusaSecondus once found a security hole in NationStates that could have allowed a player to create a "flag virus." This virus would spread to any other nation who viewed the flag while logged in. The hole is now closed, but how do you think this flag virus worked? How was the hole closed?
What SalusaSecondus does in the privacy of his own home is none of my business.

17 Name some different theoretical ways to "hack" an online game such as NationStates. How can these methods be blocked?
I don't know about all that, but I do know the #1 most sure method of blocking hackers is to turn off your computer and go outside. It's a nice day. Leaves are changing, you know.

18 NationStates doesn't use a database but rather stores nations in flat files. As the game has grown, this has presented various challenges. A key one is the need to sort around 120,000 nations each day according to a rank (usually on an integral scale of about -200 to 200). How should we do this efficiently? (If you can, provide working Perl code and analysis of how good your algorithm is.)
Outsource the problem to India.

19 Who's [violet]?
The Great and Terrible Oz

20 Please list all nations that you currently control and any significant ones that you no longer control.
Oh you know it's just your friendly neighborhood Keruvalia. Hi! Good luck with your search and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

:D

Best application ever

I have a feeling the "selection process" will consist mostly of filtering out the joke applications.

I have a feeling the "selection process" will consist mostly of filtering out the joke applications.

That's what they get for making the application process public. :D

Incidently, I believe [violet] and Leeroy Jenkins to be one and the same, but I didn't want to put that formally on an application as it may hurt my chances.

Somedays I am forced to wonder if, just maybe, you are trying to get banned.

Congrats to our next admin, for they will surely accept this application... :rolleyes:





I especially liked #7, but im not sure why

OK, I won't submit it, but I'll have a go.

1 Your name and e-mail address?

That information is classified.

2 What makes NationStates interesting for you?

The alternative is working.

3 What would you change about the game?

There would be more stuff to customize. Much more! I want customization NOW BITCH GIVE ... *ahem* sorry about that.

4 Why would you like to become an admin?

A pure, unadulterated lust for power.

5 Describe one thing a current online multiplayer game (of your choice) does better than its competition.

NationStates is better than its competition at publicity because I haven't heard of any competition.

6 Are you currently bound by any Non-Disclosure Agreements or other documents that may claim ownership of ideas/code that you generate? (If you are unsure, please check.)

No, I just don't like disclosing them. Go mind your own business.

7 As an admin, you'd have access to the NationStates source code, but be required to keep it confidential. Any problem with that?

Knowledge is most powerful when no-one else has it. Of course I'd keep it secret.

8 Have you created or worked on a game before?

I once made a computer game version of russian roulette. Unfortunately I couldn't get it to actually kill the player.

9 Which variants of Linux/Unix do you have experience with, and how much?

Quite a few variants. Enough experience to give up.

10 What programming experience do you have? Have you coded in Perl before?

I've programmed tons of stuff. Most of it didnt work. Yeah I know Perl. It says "hi".

11 vi or emacs?

No thanks.

12 What version of Apache is the NationStates server running? How do you know?

I don't know. How I don't know is because I can't be bothered to look it up.

13 Through which organization/company/etc. is the nationstates.net domain name registered? How do you know?

The Illuminati. I mean Jolt. The Illuminati do not run NationStates, nor would they assassinate me for making such a claim. Uh... I gotta go. *runs*

Somedays I am forced to wonder if, just maybe, you are trying to get banned.

Nah ... it would be no challenge to try. I know the rules. I could get banned extremely easily if I so chose. I prefer to cling to the hopes that the Admin still has its sense of humor intact and, I believe, I am correct in that assessment.

The mods and posters are a completely different story.

I especially liked #7, but im not sure why
Because it is blatantly obvious that they do have something to hide. Either part of the NS source code is made out of cocaine, and that is why it gets so addictive, or they have a subroutine that is designed to steal peices of your soul and give them to Max Barry for his dark sustenance.

4 Why would you like to become an admin?

A pure, unadulterated lust for power.


You Win! :D

Because it is blatantly obvious that they do have something to hide. Either part of the NS source code is made out of cocaine, and that is why it gets so addictive, or they have a subroutine that is designed to steal peices of your soul and give them to Max Barry for his dark sustenance.

SHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Damnit, Fiddlebottoms!

Because it is blatantly obvious that they do have something to hide. Either part of the NS source code is made out of cocaine, and that is why it gets so addictive, or they have a subroutine that is designed to steal peices of your soul and give them to Max Barry for his dark sustenance.

Hmm. Interesting theory. If they accept my application, I will look into this. But, if I do get accepted, I can't tell you the source code, so I wouldn't be able to tell you anyway.

And so begins a vicious cycle.

Because it is blatantly obvious that they do have something to hide. Either part of the NS source code is made out of cocaine, and that is why it gets so addictive, or they have a subroutine that is designed to steal peices of your soul and give them to Max Barry for his dark sustenance.
:p Brilliant

You Win! :D

w00t

Why did they even include questions that will obviously lead to joke answers such as "Who is [violet]?" I doubt anyone but me actually knows the answer to that. (I'm not applying, myself...who would want to be an admin?)

Hmm. Interesting theory. If they accept my application, I will look into this. But, if I do get accepted, I can't tell you the source code, so I wouldn't be able to tell you anyway.
How about you find out, and then you "accidentally" write the answer down on a peice of paper that you "accidentally" stuff under a the door to a "random room" at "a random motel."

NOTE: For the purpose of this "post" the word "accidentally" means "on purpose", "random room" means Room 212 and "a random motel" means the "the Days Inn just outside of New Jersety between 1-3 AM three weeks from next Teusday". I'll be wearing a black cocktail dress because I enjoy crossdressing.

Your name and e-mail address?
Not Telling

What makes NationStates interesting for you?
I get to meet girls

What would you change about the game?
Allow nudity in flags

Why would you like to become an admin?
Chicks Dig it

Describe one thing a current online multiplayer game (of your choice) does better than its competition.
Forza Motorsports

Are you currently bound by any Non-Disclosure Agreements or other documents that may claim ownership of ideas/code that you generate? (If you are unsure, please check.)
Huh?

As an admin, you'd have access to the NationStates source code, but be required to keep it confidential. Any problem with that?
Of course Not!


Have you created or worked on a game before?
I put together a puzzle


Which variants of Linux/Unix do you have experience with, and how much?
Never herd of them

What programming experience do you have? Have you coded in Perl before?
vi or emacs?
Huh?

What version of Apache is the NationStates server running? How do you know?
I thought it was Verson Of Navajo

Through which organization/company/etc. is the nationstates.net domain name registered? How do you know?
Playboy Magazine

This is a block of code from the game. What does it do?

sub any_messages
{
my ($nation, $no_links) = @_;

my $tmp = @{$nation->{telegrams}};
return '' unless ($tmp);
$tmp = ($tmp == 1 ? "a telegram" : "$tmp telegrams");
unless ($no_links)
{
$tmp = '<a href="../page=telegrams">' .
$tmp . '</a>';
}
return "You have $tmp!";
}

Confuses People



What are some bugs in NationStates?
Nations Staes Cockroach

SalusaSecondus once found a security hole in NationStates that could have allowed a player to create a "flag virus." This virus would spread to any other nation who viewed the flag while logged in. The hole is now closed, but how do you think this flag virus worked? How was the hole closed?
With A door?


Name some different theoretical ways to "hack" an online game such as
NationStates. How can these methods be blocked?
AK-47


NationStates doesn't use a database but rather stores nations in flat files. As the game has grown, this has presented various challenges. A key one is the need to sort around 120,000 nations each day according to a rank (usually on an integral scale of about -200 to 200). How should we do this efficiently? (If you can, provide working Perl code and analysis of how good your algorithm is.)
Ask My Mom

Who's [violet]?
Jim Carrey

Please list all nations that you currently control and any significant ones that you no longer control

To Many to Count














Should I send this?:p

I'll bite

1 Your name and e-mail address?
there are some who call me.....Mr. Anonymous
and My email is a green box

2 What makes NationStates interesting for you?
I dunno, it just sort of fills a void in my life. Mainly the one that I get when I have nothing better to do

3 What would you change about the game?
War baby! Uh, no perhaps not, why dont' we try.....Pixies?

4 Why would you like to become an admin?
To complete my plans for world dom.....errrrr. How about to make the world a better place?

5 Describe one thing a current online multiplayer game (of your choice) does better than its competition.
ummmmmm, it might help if I played other online multiplayer games

6 Are you currently bound by any Non-Disclosure Agreements or other documents that may claim ownership of ideas/code that you generate? (If you are unsure, please check.)
Mr. M240 says I don't

7 As an admin, you'd have access to the NationStates source code, but be required to keep it confidential. Any problem with that?
If there was, Mr. M240 woudl quickly fix the problem

8 Have you created or worked on a game before?
I once made a text based game, involving chainsaws and hordes of flaming rodents

9 Which variants of Linux/Unix do you have experience with, and how much?
If seriously thinking about trying it counts then I have a little bit

10 What programming experience do you have? Have you coded in Perl before?
who?

11 vi or emacs?
what? No seriously, I have no clue

12 What version of Apache is the NationStates server running? How do you know?
I know it has a lot of guns, more than a helicopter should.

13 Through which organization/company/etc. is the nationstates.net domain name registered? How do you know?
It is registered in a computer somewhere between where I am sitting and Mars

14 This is a block of code from the game. What does it do?
It terrorizes little children.

15 What are some bugs in NationStates?
Herpes, gonnasyphlaids, and a Taenia solium

16 SalusaSecondus once found a security hole in NationStates that could have allowed a player to create a "flag virus." This virus would spread to any other nation who viewed the flag while logged in. The hole is now closed, but how do you think this flag virus worked? How was the hole closed?
it uses it's magic and spreads across from place to place. Of course he used healthy amounts of shoe goo and duct tape to close the hole, maybe a bit of chicken wire.

17 Name some different theoretical ways to "hack" an online game such as NationStates. How can these methods be blocked?
You could take a hacksaw and start hacking away at limbs. You could block them by wearing heavy leather gloves

18 NationStates doesn't use a database but rather stores nations in flat files. As the game has grown, this has presented various challenges. A key one is the need to sort around 120,000 nations each day according to a rank (usually on an integral scale of about -200 to 200). How should we do this efficiently? (If you can, provide working Perl code and analysis of how good your algorithm is.)
Take a large hammer, and beat the crap out of anything that isn't organizing itself.

19 Who's [violet]?
Violet happens to be none other than I'm a horrible horrible person, I dont know, but I have a sneaky suspicion he is *chokes to death on a pretzel*

20 Please list all nations that you currently control and any significant ones that you no longer control.
I own Nation of Fortune, I have owned several other naions all of which are dead, the most prominant being Flaming Ninja Death, followed by a big red puppet, liberal as hell nation, deathwitharifle, and if there are more I don't remember them.

Happy birthday Nationstates. From teh third floor meglomaniac

Well I thought about sending this, but decided against it.

1 Your name and e-mail address?
stalker! not telling you!

2 What makes NationStates interesting for you?
arguing with people

3 What would you change about the game?
make a "live chat page" to argue with people

4 Why would you like to become an admin?
to win all the arguments

5 Describe one thing a current online multiplayer game (of your choice) does better than its competition.
well you can argue with people on a lot of sites...

6 Are you currently bound by any Non-Disclosure Agreements or other documents that may claim ownership of ideas/code that you generate? (If you are unsure, please check.)
Not allowed to say.

7 As an admin, you'd have access to the NationStates source code, but be required to keep it confidential. Any problem with that?
well, it depends on how much money they offer me, but i wouldn't let it go for under £5,000

8 Have you created or worked on a game before?
i drew a picture for a compettion once.

9 Which variants of Linux/Unix do you have experience with, and how much?
I used to use a linux computer, then i found the wonders of microsoft.

10 What programming experience do you have? Have you coded in Perl before?
i thought perl was something you did in knitting?

11 vi or emacs?
no, big mac's

12 What version of Apache is the NationStates server running? How do you know?
i bet it's not running apache at all...

13 Through which organization/company/etc. is the nationstates.net domain name registered? How do you know?
dunno, but can i have it instead, you can have .com?

14 This is a block of code from the game. What does it do?
what's code?

15 What are some bugs in NationStates?
I don't know, but i hope it's not bird flu...

16 SalusaSecondus once found a security hole in NationStates that could have allowed a player to create a "flag virus." This virus would spread to any other nation who viewed the flag while logged in. The hole is now closed, but how do you think this flag virus worked? How was the hole closed?
i dunno, maybe he took down the flag-pole...

17 Name some different theoretical ways to "hack" an online game such as NationStates. How can these methods be blocked?
HACKERS! this is clearly a job for the miltary.

18 NationStates doesn't use a database but rather stores nations in flat files. As the game has grown, this has presented various challenges. A key one is the need to sort around 120,000 nations each day according to a rank (usually on an integral scale of about -200 to 200). How should we do this efficiently? (If you can, provide working Perl code and analysis of how good your algorithm is.)
uhh... argue with it? no no, throw things at it!

19 Who's [violet]?
your mum!

20 Please list all nations that you currently control and any significant ones that you no longer control.
what? you mean all them ones that got deleted?

i wonder if anyone actually applied seriously.hmmm,well if they did i doubt they post on general.

i wonder if anyone actually applied seriously.hmmm,well if they did i doubt they post on general.

in fact i might apply seriously, i know a lot of the stuff it asks for.

i wonder if anyone actually applied seriously.hmmm,well if they did i doubt they post on general.

I might make a serious application, not answer half the questions and win by default since no-one else made a serious application.

EDIT: I have actually made a serious application now. I answered all the questions (I don't know is still an answer!), but I do not seriously believe that I will win by default. Indeed, I doubt I'll win at all.

Come to think about it, will anyone win?

man, i wish i had some actual knowledge about computer programming....i must continue to dream.

1. Your name and e-mail address?
Jesus,jesusistehcool@heaven.holy
2. What makes NationStates interesting for you?
The babe thread did,now i stay here to destroy it from the inside.
3. What would you change about the game?
More dancing bananas
4. Why would you like to become an admin?
Power is an aphrodisiac
5. Describe one thing a current online multiplayer game (of your choice) does better than its competition.
NS does everything better than the competition,maily exist.ya the competition cant exist for shit
6. Are you currently bound by any Non-Disclosure Agreements or other documents that may claim ownership of ideas/code that you generate? (If you are unsure, please check.)
A non-disclosure agreement forbids me from telling you about my non-disclosure agreements.
7. As an admin, you'd have access to the NationStates source code, but be required to keep it confidential. Any problem with that?
None at all.whats a source code?
8. Have you created or worked on a game before?
By worked on do you mean played?
9. Which variants of Linux/Unix do you have experience with, and how much?
Em,all of them
10. What programming experience do you have? Have you coded in Perl before?
Well not coded per se but there was this great party once where we got it on on tony's parent's bed
11. vi or emacs?
vimacs
12. What version of Apache is the NationStates server running? How do you know?
Version 1.7.4.9.2,the voices told me.
13. Through which organization/company/etc. is the nationstates.net domain name registered? How do you know?
Microsoft.once again,the voices.
14. This is a block of code from the game. What does it do?
Deletes dancing bananas.
15. What are some bugs in NationStates?
No dancing bananas
16. SalusaSecondus once found a security hole in NationStates that could have allowed a player to create a "flag virus." This virus would spread to any other nation who viewed the flag while logged in. The hole is now closed, but how do you think this flag virus worked? How was the hole closed?
it flagged things,with flags.you closed the hole with some 'no more big gaps'
17. Name some different theoretical ways to "hack" an online game such as NationStates. How can these methods be blocked?
Theoretically i could 'hack' at the door of your office with an axe.i suggest hiring more security to block people like me.
18. NationStates doesn't use a database but rather stores nations in flat files. As the game has grown, this has presented various challenges. A key one is the need to sort around 120,000 nations each day according to a rank (usually on an integral scale of about -200 to 200). How should we do this efficiently? (If you can, provide working Perl code and analysis of how good your algorithm is.)
No database?noobs
19. Who's [violet]?
I am
20. Please list all nations that you currently control and any significant ones that you no longer control.
Nations?what nations?

1 Your name and e-mail address?
Why don't you ask your Mom? She'll also be able to tell you my address, because she sent me a Christmas card last year and e-mailed me these recipes for pudding.

2 What makes NationStates interesting for you?
I like making fun of people and being made fun of. I also like having those damn motion smilies distracting me while I try to post this

3 What would you change about the game?
I would definitely add an option to stab other NSers in the face over the interweb.

4 Why would you like to become an admin?
Because the word "admin" looks like the word "penis" when you are drunk, standing on your head, and cross-eyed at four in the morning.

5 Describe one thing a current online multiplayer game (of your choice) does better than its competition.
Everquest is much better at convincing people that it is worth their time to do the same goddamn pointless things day after day after day with no hope of escape or resolving any kind of plot then Merentha was.

6 Are you currently bound by any Non-Disclosure Agreements or other documents that may claim ownership of ideas/code that you generate? (If you are unsure, please check.)
Well, all of my jokes are stolen from '80s movies.

7 As an admin, you'd have access to the NationStates source code, but be required to keep it confidential. Any problem with that?
I am uniquely qualified in this respect, as I will be completely incapable of understanding the source code due to having no programming experience whatsoever.

8 Have you created or worked on a game before?
Once, I created a game where you shoot virtual neighbors from your bedroom window. It was great, with perfect realism in all respects.
Then I sobered up and left town quickly because I realized that it wasn't a game and I really had been sniping at my neighbors from my bedroom window.

9 Which variants of Linux/Unix do you have experience with, and how much?
I have enough experience with Linux to know that it is the OS equivalent of a chastity belt. Each minute spent downloading the latest distro condemns you to 5 months more without sex.

10 What programming experience do you have? Have you coded in Perl before?
Perl? Those come from oyster gonads! Noway I'm going to mess with that.
I do have a wide range of programming experience, and used to watch about 2 hours of low to mid quality comedy programming every night on TV.

11 vi or emacs?
You are aware that when asking a question, one typically appends a verb somewhere?

12 What version of Apache is the NationStates server running? How do you know?
3.14159265
I know because I seduced Max Berry and got the information out of him postcoitus.

13 Through which organization/company/etc. is the nationstates.net domain name registered? How do you know?
It is registered through MegaSex's Hardcore Librarian Pornagraphy Inc.
I know because I seduced the CEO and got the information out of him postcoitus.

14 This is a block of code from the game. What does it do?
It just made me wet my pants a litte.

15 What are some bugs in NationStates?
There is this bug that lets Fass log on. For some reason no one has been doing anything to correct this.

16 SalusaSecondus once found a security hole in NationStates that could have allowed a player to create a "flag virus." This virus would spread to any other nation who viewed the flag while logged in. The hole is now closed, but how do you think this flag virus worked? How was the hole closed?
The Flag virus worked by climbing out of people's computer monitors and killing them 7 days after they looked at the flag.
The hole was closed with a really large bath plug.

17 Name some different theoretical ways to "hack" an online game such as NationStates. How can these methods be blocked?
Someone could run into the room with the NS server and hit it with an axe. I suggest making the server out of Uranium to prevent people from getting close enough to it to damage it.

18 NationStates doesn't use a database but rather stores nations in flat files. As the game has grown, this has presented various challenges. A key one is the need to sort around 120,000 nations each day according to a rank (usually on an integral scale of about -200 to 200). How should we do this efficiently? (If you can, provide working Perl code and analysis of how good your algorithm is.)
Obviously, the answer is to not make rankings. Quite easy, really.

19 Who's [violet]?
[violet] is just the NS incarnation of the Killer Whale Jesus

20 Please list all nations that you currently control and any significant ones that you no longer control.
As of the moment, I control 98.7% of all NS nations, so it will be simpler to tell you which NSers aren't just my puppet nations: Neo Kerovskia, Branin, Czardas, Melkor Unchained, Salusa Secondus, Keruvalia, Euroslavia, Fass, and Nation of Fortune.

that application makes my head hurt

Why did they even include questions that will obviously lead to joke answers such as "Who is [violet]?" I doubt anyone but me actually knows the answer to that. (I'm not applying, myself...who would want to be an admin?)

Who is [violet] then?

I put down "[violet] is [violet].". Which is true, really.

3 What would you change about the game?
I would definitely add an option to stab other NSers in the face over the interweb.


Hooray! You get my second shadow vote!

20 Please list all nations that you currently control and any significant ones that you no longer control.
As of the moment, I control 98.7% of all NS nations, so it will be simpler to tell you which NSers aren't just my puppet nations: Neo Kerovskia, Branin, Czardas, Melkor Unchained, Salusa Secondus, Keruvalia, Euroslavia, Fass, and Nation of Fortune.
and I thought nobody knew who I was

You know how they said they would keep the identidy of the new admin secret? What if they aren't looking for a new admin? What if they just want to steal our ideas? Dun Dun Dun.

I also notice that there is a question that says "Will You Protect The Source Code?", but then they go and give away a part of it and ask you what it does. Well, no one should know, since no one should be giving the souce code out. ;P

I also notice that there is a question that says "Will You Protect The Source Code?", but then they go and give away a part of it and ask you what it does.

Maybe they're actually recruiting a secret NS Army. When we ban you, it's for life. Dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnn

and I thought nobody knew who I was
When I started replying, your post was the first one on the list for scrolling down, so I threw you in for easy Copy&Pastage.