NationStates Jolt Archive

Look Mommy i spelt it right!

Sworf Money MK II (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=425690)
I got Sworf Money (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=417445)

So what is this Sworf then you say why Sworf is the chippings gratings scraps and other useless bits of metal that collect up when one 'Turns' down an object in this case Metal.

Basically at work when we make Something amazing out of Metal(Nut,Bolt,Dead Weight,some amazingly confangled device)all the excess chippings go into sepperate Barrels.

We had Barrels for...
2 Copper
2 Aluminium
3 Stainless steel
and a scrap scrap barrel

as well as a small container for Brass Swarf and one for Copper,SS, and Aluminium Solid Scrap.

as well as a large Steel container we finally got rid of this it is about 1.2 meters x1.2 meters.

So after a certain number of months all this is sent away to a Scrap Dealer who gives us money.

Most goes to work expenses but i got a slice which was
$100
Wow!!!
What should i do with this Money?

Does anyone else get Money like this?


swarf (swôrf) ( noun )

Fine metallic filings or shavings removed by a cutting tool.

[Of Scandinavian origin; akin to Old Norse svarf.]

We have something similar where I work. Here at the abortion clinic we call it splorf - because of the sound it makes when it hits the floor. You can scrounge up a lot of fetal stem cells and sell them to labs in California. I make about 90 to 100 bucks a week extra just from splorf. It's great.

What should i do with my new found winnings last time i got some good answer can you better them???

Bump!

Just get a $100 note and start waving it around at people. There's a small chance you won't get mugged...

Just get a $100 note and start waving it around at people. There's a small chance you won't get mugged...
Damnit that dosent achieve anything!
The closet that comes to is saving it.
unless that is an other vote.

Damnit that dosent achieve anything!
The closet that comes to is saving it.
unless that is an other vote.
Uh.... yeah. It's not a secret evil plan to steal your money.

Uh.... yeah. It's not a secret evil plan to steal your money.
Well i shall stop waving 100 Dollar bills about!
No i shall wave 5 20 Dollar bills
MWhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Well i shall stop waving 100 Dollar bills about!
No i shall wave 5 20 Dollar bills
MWhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Damn. So much for Evil Plan #542.

Damn. So much for Evil Plan #542.
*deploys 'Evil Plan #542b - in case of multiple notes'*

EDIT: I just looked at the poll options. Some on beer and some on Hookers, then waste the rest? You're either a teetotaller or house some cheap hookers in your area. I still voted for that option though. :D

I voted booze and hookers.

In swarf money II, I suggested that you place a bet on England to win the Ashes. Had you followed my sage advice, you would have sextupled your ill-gotten swarf gains.

Since I am 100% for advice, you should pay more attention to my suggestions.

You should give the money to Myrth, for he will spend it wiselier then you!
Or you could find a handful bums, and buy each one a bible and a ham sandwich. Then force them to eat the bible and demand that they read the ham sandwich. It won't actually help anything, and will probably get you killed/arrested, but at least the act of telling you to do so made me giggle a bit.

I voted booze and hookers.

In swarf money II, I suggested that you place a bet on England to win the Ashes. Had you followed my sage advice, you would have sextupled your ill-gotten swarf gains.

Since I am 100% for advice, you should pay more attention to my suggestions.
Alas the shear folly of it all, i cant remember this suggestion and as such i didnt follow through which has inhibitited my aims to snatch alll the worlds monies including the Chinese Salt Cakes.
BLAST!

Alas the shear folly of it all, i cant remember this suggestion and as such i didnt follow through which has inhibitited my aims to snatch alll the worlds monies including the Chinese Salt Cakes.
NO! You can't have my monies!
*Stuffs wads of cash in pants*
There must be other places to hide it! Mustn't lose it! Mustn't let the nasty hobbitses take the Precious!

NO! You can't have my monies!
*Stuffs wads of cash in pants*
There must be other places to hide it! Mustn't lose it! Mustn't let the nasty hobbitses take the Precious!
Listen to your Master give the Ring to Frodo eh gads not that ring put some pants on dammit!

er crap you said you were wearing pants.
Runs.......

Listen to your Master give the Ring to Frodo eh gads not that ring put some pants on dammit!

er crap you said you were wearing pants.
Runs.......
I never said I was wearing pants, just that I stuffed wads of cash in (my) pants. I could be sitting around naked, surrounded by pairs of pants, while counting out large piles of money and NSing.
I could also have your daughter captive at my feet, Mr Harlesburg. Feel free to send me $500,000 in nickels and assorted spare change by midnight tommorow night, or you may never see her again.
You may own the largest drink machine syndicate in the world, but I am in charge here. Just to prove it, I will cut off her pilus and mail it to you.

I never said I was wearing pants, just that I stuffed wads of cash in (my) pants. I could be sitting around naked, surrounded by pairs of pants, while counting out large piles of money and NSing.
I could also have your daughter captive at my feet, Mr Harlesburg. Feel free to send me $500,000 in nickels and assorted spare change by midnight tommorow night, or you may never see her again.
You may own the largest drink machine syndicate in the world, but I am in charge here. Just to prove it, I will cut off her pilus and mail it to you.
eh gads get away from my sperm and someones unyet fertilised egg for i surely must complete the process of this copulation for any spawn to exist.

*Offers $500,000 in nikcles and dimes and 10 cent pieces(shifty eyes)Chinese Salt Cakes and the New York Knicks.

Alas the shear folly of it all, i cant remember this suggestion and as such i didnt follow through which has inhibitited my aims to snatch alll the worlds monies including the Chinese Salt Cakes.
BLAST!

Well, now you know the folly of ignoring my advice.

To the hookers and the booze!

eh gads get away from my sperm and someones unyet fertilised egg for i surely must complete the process of this copulation for any spawn to exist.
MWAHAHAHA! Your daughter is very much real! For I have secretly seized a sample of your sperm, and grew your offspring in a test-tube.
Soon my evil plan will be complete!
*Offers $500,000 in nikcles and dimes and 10 cent pieces(shifty eyes)Chinese Salt Cakes and the New York Knicks.
Redundant much? But I also demand quarters, and only US spare change!

MWAHAHAHA! Your daughter is very much real! For I have secretly seized a sample of your sperm, and grew your offspring in a test-tube.
Soon my evil plan will be complete!

Redundant much? But I also demand quarters, and only US spare change!
Actually i will give you Dimes and New Zealand 10 cent pieces!
Gives 12,000 Shillings.
12,342 units of Canadian Currency as well.

use a $100 note to light a cigar you stole.

use a $100 note to light a cigar you stole.
I dont smoke and i wouldnt waste a Cigar like that. ^_^

I dont smoke and i wouldnt waste a Cigar like that. ^_^

You dont have to smoke it,just light it.people will see you and assume you're very very rich,thus earning you their respect.

Well, now you know the folly of ignoring my advice.

To the hookers and the booze!
Yes the sheer folly of it all.

Lo Hark what is this pain that attacks my very being oh squire of the seven seas?
It is the pain of ignoring sound advice which fortold wealth and glory for my just cause.

You dont have to smoke it,just light it.people will see you and assume you're very very rich,thus earning you their respect.
Assumptions will get me nowhere I need Power dammit!

Assumptions will get me nowhere I need Power dammit!
Convert it to $1 dollar bills then use them as cigar lighters (always from a distance). Also, wear a top hat and monocle (sp?). That way people will see you lighting cigars with notes and assume you are rich and powerful, plus you can do this with 100 people rather than one person. Then, tell them you shall make certain allowances in their promotion prospects if they do one act of your bidding. Finally, film the ensuing hilarity as <insert perverse thrill-seeking action of choice here> happens repeatedly! You can sell the tape on the internet and make another $100, then repeat the whole process, thus forever receiving $100 for your pranks.

Assumptions will get me nowhere I need Power dammit!

Ummm, England to beat India. It's a long shot bet.

Ummm, England to beat India. It's a long shot bet.
Why? Just general interst here, I haven't followed the cricket recently. Have there been some disastrous injuries?

Why? Just general interst here, I haven't followed the cricket recently. Have there been some disastrous injuries?

It's in India.

Ummm, England to beat India. It's a long shot bet.
I thought you were playing Pakistan.:confused:

I thought you were playing Pakistan.:confused:
India right after, IIRC.

It's in India.
So? England are on their best form in a good long while and we can play well on the Sub-continent. Swing and Spin ftw, tbh.

India right after, IIRC.


So? England are on their best form in a good long while and we can play well on the Sub-continent. Swing and Spin ftw, tbh.
In that case if Vaughn is A O K i shall place a $50 Bet on a Test Series win.

In that case if Vaughn is A O K i shall place a $50 Bet on a Test Series win.
How about if I kneecap Freddie Flintoff, Geraint Jones and Kevin Pietersen.

Also: http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/cricket/england/4431716.stm

How about if I kneecap Freddie Flintoff, Geraint Jones and Kevin Pietersen.

Also: http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/cricket/england/4431716.stm

Pakistan opener Salman Butt admitted his side were disappointed to lose five wickets for 77 runs but believed they could put another 100 runs on the board.
That is the key i heard they were doing alright.
On the issue of Knee Capping players no.

That is the key i heard they were doing alright.
Yeah, the whole 'no more recognised batsmen' after Inzamam-ul-Haq made me think it was a bravado show. Unless herr capitan can make the remaining batsmen his running bitches, for another half a day or so...

But, we need to see how England do. Chances are we shall fare just as well - Pakistan is definitely a bowlers' paradise.
On the issue of Knee Capping players no.
Aww...

*puts away sledgehammer*

Yeah, the whole 'no more recognised batsmen' after Inzamam-ul-Haq made me think it was a bravado show. Unless herr capitan can make the remaining batsmen his running bitches, for another half a day or so...

But, we need to see how England do. Chances are we shall fare just as well - Pakistan is definitely a bowlers' paradise.

Aww...

*puts away sledgehammer*
Shoiab.

So any other ideas or suggestions?

So any other ideas or suggestions?

Yes, promote titanium and increase your bonus!

Yes, promote titanium and increase your bonus!
Ha Ha i think i had that reply in one of the last 2 Topics.