NationStates Jolt Archive

http://people.csail.mit.edu/rahimi/helmet/

Abstract
Among a fringe community of paranoids, aluminum helmets serve as the protective measure of choice against invasive radio signals. We investigate the efficacy of three aluminum helmet designs on a sample group of four individuals. Using a $250,000 network analyser, we find that although on average all helmets attenuate invasive radio frequencies in either directions (either emanating from an outside source, or emanating from the cranium of the subject), certain frequencies are in fact greatly amplified. These amplified frequencies coincide with radio bands reserved for government use according to the Federal Communication Commission (FCC). Statistical evidence suggests the use of helmets may in fact enhance the government's invasive abilities. We theorize that the government may in fact have started the helmet craze for this reason.

just like the government, tricking people into wearing tinfoil hats that actually amplify the mind control. those tricky tricky bastards

You forgot the 'Myrth' option.
Try growing your hair...it might not stop the mind control, but at least you'll look good.

Its like I've been telling people for years, tin foil does nothing!
The only think that will keep the government, the lizard people, and JESUSBOMB out of your skull is underwear! Preferably briefs and they work 5 times as well if they're soiled.
Maybe now you people will listen to me.

http://replicationbad.ytmnd.com

Robots...idiots...conspiracies...either way, there seem to be more every day...:)

I voted other. Other meaning *puts on sunglasses* "Please come with me, sir. We need to talk. Everything will be o.k."

Only the uninitiated use aluminium hats! Years ago we learned that the government was actually hiding microscopic aliens inside all aluminium in order to spy on us! Now, we all use uranium hats! The aliens can't live there, plus my psychiatrist no longer wants to sit with me. Win win!

Its like I've been telling people for years, tin foil does nothing!
The only think that will keep the government, the lizard people, and JESUSBOMB out of your skull is underwear! Preferably briefs and they work 5 times as well if they're soiled.
Maybe now you people will listen to me.
So, I guess a thong's not going to do much good, eh?

Well dang.

At least I still have my God-and-alien-and-government-proof blanket....

Its like I've been telling people for years, tin foil does nothing!
The only think that will keep the government, the lizard people, and JESUSBOMB out of your skull is underwear! Preferably briefs and they work 5 times as well if they're soiled.
Maybe now you people will listen to me.
You wouldn't happen to know if womens underpants work, would you? Because I have this "friend" who wears them on my, I mean HIS head, and he doesn't want to switch because I, I mean HE likes it.

I feel like people are really opening up in this thread...

I personally just flash the deathrays/aliens/govtspooks/gods when they try to get me. It definitely throws them off...:D

You forgot the 'Myrth' option.

don't you find it to be just a little bit too convenient that there is always a 'myrth' option on polls?

Simonist']So, I guess a thong's not going to do much good, eh?
Thongs are actually the most effective, but the problem is that they protect only a very small region of the brain, due to minimal coverage. Maybe if you had a small head and could find a really fat woman who would loan you her thong, that would work.

Simonist']At least I still have my God-and-alien-and-government-proof blanket....
JESUSBOMB isn't a religious organization, in fact they hate every god but their own dark ones. JESUSBOMB is short for Jewish Evil Stalinist Underworld of Satanists and Black-Ops Mafia Brothers, and it is better that you never again imply a Christian connection, lest you really offend them and get JESUSBOMBed.

JESUSBOMB isn't a religious organization, in fact they hate every god but their own dark ones. JESUSBOMB is short for Jewish Evil Stalinist Underworld of Satanists and Black-Ops Mafia Brothers, and it is better that you never again imply a Christian connection, lest you really offend them and get JESUSBOMBed.
Oh, it's not JESUSBOMB I'm worried about. It's actually God. Trust me, I'm quite safe from the JESUSBOMBers, but I appreciate your concern. Really. It's, um....sweet.

don't you find it to be just a little bit too convenient that there is always a 'myrth' option on polls?
Don't let on that you know a thing.....

Gee, I already did this thread and link....

Simonist']Oh, it's not JESUSBOMB I'm worried about. It's actually God. Trust me, I'm quite safe from the JESUSBOMBers, but I appreciate your concern. Really. It's, um....sweet.
It is my duty to protect all peoples from JESUSBOMB, for I have sworn revenge on them because it was they who killed my mother and raped my father, not the intoxicated water buffaloe who has since been framed and executed.

No, wait a second, JESUSBOMB didn't rape my father, they just killed my mother. The Gay Mafia raped my father . . . or at least I think that was the Gay Mafia . . .
All these conspiracies get so confusing sometimes.

All these conspiracies get so confusing sometimes.
Tell me about it. So who do we blame for bad fashion again?

I just realized the flaw in your advice on the fat lady thong.....the real bulk of the underwear section would still be rather thin.
That, and I'd be wearing a fatty's panties. Which is double-gross.

Simonist']Tell me about it. So who do we blame for bad fashion again?
I'm pretty sure that those are the lizard people.
Simonist']I just realized the flaw in your advice on the fat lady thong.....the real bulk of the underwear section would still be rather thin.
That's why you'd have to wrap it around many times. Thongs have the best blocking power per square inch especially when soiled, when they are22.4591577 times as powerful as regular briefs.
Simonist']That, and I'd be wearing a fatty's panties. Which is double-gross.
Not too mention it is really hard to interview for a job without getting arrested, but Such are the sacrifices that one must make for protection.

Not too mention it is really hard to interview for a job without getting arrested, but Such are the sacrifices that one must make for protection.

Why would you get arrested...just tell them it's cultural :)

Why would you get arrested...just tell them it's cultural :)
I tried explaining that, but the woman just kept screaming that a mad man had broken into her house and was sorting through her laundry stealing her underwear.

Well, it might still protect from the mod conspiracy. And its damn stylish. *dons tinfoil hat*

Did anybody (other than me) ever find their metal fillings could pick up radio broadcasts? I remember the first fillings I had - very distracting - if I sat with my mouth open in French class, I could hear a very tinny signal coming from the local downtown 'classic rock' station.

I almost got in trouble from my French teacher, who thought I was hiding a walkman somewhere on my person. I had to show him exactly what was going on.

A week or so later, I guess my saliva had started breaking it down, or something, 'cause it never happened again. Nowadays they use some sort of composite material (and those fillings were eventually replaced as a matter of course), and I haven't heard of it having happened to anyone else.

Did anybody (other than me) ever find their metal fillings could pick up radio broadcasts? I remember the first fillings I had - very distracting - if I sat with my mouth open in French class, I could hear a very tinny signal coming from the local downtown 'classic rock' station.

I almost got in trouble from my French teacher, who thought I was hiding a walkman somewhere on my person. I had to show him exactly what was going on.

A week or so later, I guess my saliva had started breaking it down, or something, 'cause it never happened again. Nowadays they use some sort of composite material (and those fillings were eventually replaced as a matter of course), and I haven't heard of it having happened to anyone else.
Are you sure it was the metal and not the dope? Dope fillings were once very popular you know.

Did anybody (other than me) ever find their metal fillings could pick up radio broadcasts? I remember the first fillings I had - very distracting - if I sat with my mouth open in French class, I could hear a very tinny signal coming from the local downtown 'classic rock' station.

I almost got in trouble from my French teacher, who thought I was hiding a walkman somewhere on my person. I had to show him exactly what was going on.

A week or so later, I guess my saliva had started breaking it down, or something, 'cause it never happened again. Nowadays they use some sort of composite material (and those fillings were eventually replaced as a matter of course), and I haven't heard of it having happened to anyone else.


My braces would wake me up at night when wireless phones first came out and the girl next door would be talking dirty to her boyfriend. Actually...it wasn't so bad...

And I cannot believe none of you guys brought up the picture. (http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b383/DrkHelmet/Forum%20Pictures/tinfoil-hat.jpg)

Shame on yous.

And I cannot believe none of you guys brought up the picture. (http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b383/DrkHelmet/Forum%20Pictures/tinfoil-hat.jpg)

Shame on yous.
I like the picture.

I would either use a lead or uranium hat, if I don't die from poisioning or radiation first.

http://people.csail.mit.edu/rahimi/helmet/



just like the government, tricking people into wearing tinfoil hats that actually amplify the mind control. those tricky tricky bastards
You read digg dont you? lol this was top story yesterday at about this time lol

I am a storage facility for the government:( . This summer I broke my arm when I hit a "pothole" on my bike going down a hill. But the records show that the back wheel was dented and broken. Sound strange? Well keep listening! I had surgery to repair my arm, they also put "titanium plates" in my arm. However both times I walked through a metal detector, nothing happened. It detected a nickel in my pocket but not the "titanium" in my arm. What is in my arm? Silver, the government has grown tired of gold in fort knox, so they transport hold silver in people. My dad had the same experience with metal detectors and he has "titanium" in his ankle. When a woman (obviously an agent for the US government) was creeping around at night. Well my dads dog saw this woman and started running, my dad slipped, broke his ankle and no one ever saw the woman again. True stories.

http://www.zapatopi.net/blog/?post=200511112730.afdb_effectiveness

Other

Three men in black suits and black sunglasses walk in.

Sir, we need you to come with us. You babbling has led to severe interest on the part of the US Government, and we will not let this go unoticed. Come with us now, or we will be forced to kill you.

(Muahahaha)

How do I keep the government out of my head?

Simple; I don't. About four years ago, they took a look inside my head. They haven't been back since. My understanding is that I sent four agents to the loony bin. :D

How do I keep the government out of my head?

Simple; I don't. About four years ago, they took a look inside my head. They haven't been back since. My understanding is that I sent four agents to the loony bin. :D
Thats something along the lines of how soiled underwear (especially the thong of a fatty) can keep the government out of your head. It isn't that the radio wave is actually reflected, its just that the radio wave decides that, rather then plunge through dirty panties, it would be a better idea just to go have have a coffee and chill for awhile.

Well, it might still protect from the mod conspiracy. And its damn stylish. *dons tinfoil hat*

*takes a drag*

There is no Mod Conspiracy to protect yourself from.