Beware the Phone Company!
Dontgonearthere
06-11-2005, 22:44
Yes, you never suspected them before, you thought of them as a sort of big...thingy that sends bills every now and then, BUT NO MORE!
For today, I shall reveal the giant international conspiracy that is...THE PHONE COMPANY!
Y'see, its all a huge government scheme to keep track of people. I know this because THE PHONE COMPANY KNOWS YOUR NUMBER! Your so-called 'phone number' is actually a chemical barcode implanted into your thumb at birth, this can be modified at need using rays (these are from the same crystal used to generate the Indian Ocean Tsumani). This barcode is recorded every time you make a purchase at a store, or use coins. Y'see, change does not go directly to a bank or store or something, but to a government facility in Wyoming, where the microchip is scanned and the data on it is recorded, along with the 'phone numbers'. This is then re-sold to corporations trying to make a profit.
PEOPLE OF THE WORLD! STOP USING YOUR PHONES! AND COINS! BEWARE!
Sdaeriji
06-11-2005, 22:45
I've had four or five different phone numbers in my lifetime. How many chips did they install in my thumb? Wouldn't I notice the bulge?
Dontgonearthere
06-11-2005, 22:46
Its not a chip, its a barcode. The chips are in pennies and such. And I did say they could change it using rays from the crystal.
PEOPLE OF THE WORLD! STOP USING YOUR PHONES! AND COINS! BEWARE!
I don't see the point of 'phones anyway - what's wrong with just shouting very loudly?
H N Fiddlebottoms VIII
06-11-2005, 22:51
I don't see the point of 'phones anyway - what's wrong with just shouting very loudly?
Last time I shouted loud enough for someone in Australia to here I caused three Category Five Hurricanes.
I still feel kind of bad about that one since the other guy was sleeping and didn't even get the message.
Oh ya dont trust the phone companies.they know where you live,they have your phone number
Ashmoria
06-11-2005, 22:59
i highly recommend you get the movie "the president's analyst" starring james coburn. it explains it all far better than you or i ever could. and its 30 years ahead of its time.
Rotovia-
06-11-2005, 23:00
Makes sense
Ashmoria
06-11-2005, 23:09
on a "phone company note"
the feds are allowed under the patriot act to get your cell phone location records from your provider without the need of a warrant showing reason to believe a crime may be being committed.
on a "phone company note"
the feds are allowed under the patriot act to get your cell phone location records from your provider without the need of a warrant showing reason to believe a crime may be being committed.
not my cell.know why?
cos i live in ireland and our government prob doesnt realise they can use phones to track people
Rotovia-
06-11-2005, 23:14
on a "phone company note"
the feds are allowed under the patriot act to get your cell phone location records from your provider without the need of a warrant showing reason to believe a crime may be being committed.
The trick is to make all terrorist related phone calls from a pay phone...
H N Fiddlebottoms VIII
06-11-2005, 23:18
The trick is to make all terrorist related phone calls from a pay phone...
But you have to remember to pay in cash. Yes, I know that the temptation is to use your Discover card for the Cash Back Bonus or to use your Debit Card to save carrying around all that change, but trust me, that won't work as well.
Rotovia-
07-11-2005, 01:13
But you have to remember to pay in cash. Yes, I know that the temptation is to use your Discover card for the Cash Back Bonus or to use your Debit Card to save carrying around all that change, but trust me, that won't work as well.
But the coins will scan my phone number... what if I used sexual favours as currency...?
H N Fiddlebottoms VIII
07-11-2005, 01:15
But the coins will scan my phone number... what if I used sexual favours as currency...?
Phones tend not to work like that. Here is a better idea, hire someone else to put the coins in for you.
Rotovia-
07-11-2005, 01:19
Phones tend not to work like that. Here is a better idea, hire someone else to put the coins in for you.
And pay them with sexual favours...?
H N Fiddlebottoms VIII
07-11-2005, 01:21
And pay them with sexual favours...?
You just want an excuse to go down on somebody don't you? If you want I suppose that would work, though you are really going to be thrown out of the Jihad for this.
Rotovia-
07-11-2005, 01:23
[QUOTE=H N Fiddlebottoms VIII]You just want an excuse to go down on somebody don't you?QUOTE]
Yes
What about the post office? They know where you live. They only act like they can't figure out your address.:rolleyes: