NationStates Jolt Archive

To be really brief, I need a relationship so much right now, but am kinda scared of asking certain people out. Any advice? Serious advice btw.:)

To be really brief, I need a relationship so much right now, but am kinda scared of asking certain people out. Any advice? Serious advice btw.:)
Find a girl (assuming hetero-male) you like, both get a little tipsy so that inhibitions are reduced but not lost. Do sexy dancing.

Almost works for me...

EDIT: SHit forgot, how old?

To be really brief, I need a relationship so much right now, but am kinda scared of asking certain people out. Any advice? Serious advice btw.:)
the absolute worse thing that could happen is that she would say "no" right?
you could live through that
so ask

I think if you go storming in there with the atitude that you 'need' a relationship... it'll be obvious to the other person, and may well scare them off ( too heavy, way too quick!)

Be chilled... let time help sort it out.

I always think it always happens when you least expect it... and i guess that's due to being more relaxed about the whole thing.

Prob' not the best answer in the world.... but the best one i could think of at the time:)

the absolute worse thing that could happen is that she would say "no" right?
you could live through that
so ask

Very true!:p

If the answer is "no" to start with, then it saves finding out two weeks down the line.

the absolute worse thing that could happen is that she would say "no" right?
you could live through that
so ask
Been through myself. I asked a girl who was a really good friend, and I liked her. I asked her out, she turned me down. But I asked again after a month and she accepted me. If you've been turned down blessed Chris, then just get over it and maybe ask again.

To be really brief, I need a relationship so much right now, but am kinda scared of asking certain people out. Any advice? Serious advice btw.:)
You don't need a relationship.

You may want one, but you don't need one. Enjoy the single life, date around, have fun.

To ask people out, simply think of an activity you would like to do with them that they would probably like to do with you (movies are good) and invite them out. You'll have to work up some courage to do so probably, and you might want to rehearse this... but you can do it.

The worst they can do is say no. Most people aren't big enough assholes to make fun of you and if they are to hell with them, you're better off knowing they're a jerk.

To be really brief, I need a relationship so much right now, but am kinda scared of asking certain people out. Any advice? Serious advice btw.:)
i'm in the same boat *takes notes*

except my girl lives about 50 miles away :(

the absolute worse thing that could happen is that she would say "no" right?
you could live through that
so ask
Don't say that. I took that advice once and asked a girl out I'd known for a while. She was so shocked she stopped speaking to me because she assumed I only wanted to be friends. She talks to me less now, even though I try to convince her I don't want to bed her anymore.

If you must post that advice, at least put the disclaimer that it only works with girls you don't know too well.

i'm in the same boat *takes notes*

except my girl lives about 50 miles away :(
At least your girl knows you well. The only girl I'm remotely interested in at the minute doesn't know my last name or my phone number (no phone at mo). Contact is...difficult.

even though I try to convince her I don't want to bed her anymore.
there's more to a relationship than just sex

if she doesn't talk to you anymore then maybe she got the wrong end of the stick (a phrase that makes for poor innuendo, but i'm too tired to think of anything witty instead ;))

At least your girl knows you well. The only girl I'm remotely interested in at the minute doesn't know my last name or my phone number (no phone at mo). Contact is...difficult.

So not really a close relationship then?

there's more to a relationship than just sex

if she doesn't talk to you anymore then maybe she got the wrong end of the stick (a phrase that makes for poor innuendo, but i'm too tired to think of anything witty instead ;))
She thought we couldn't be friends if I was physically attracted to her, or something. Sort of worked through it, but still...

So not really a close relationship then?
I can count how long I have known her on two hands and a foot - in hours.

I can count how long I have known her on two hands and a foot - in hours.

who is it then?

At least your girl knows you well. The only girl I'm remotely interested in at the minute doesn't know my last name or my phone number (no phone at mo). Contact is...difficult.
aw that blows... ever tried smoke signals? ;)
but seriously i had the same thing with this girl in school - she barely knew i existed for like 4 years. my advice: just find a way to do something - anything - with her, even if its just hang out with her every once in a while. it sounds simple enough and i know its easier to say than do, but just keep it in mind and keep your eyes open to opportunities... in time things could work out for the better :)
[edit: but considering my track record with women, you really shouldn't be listening to a word i say :p ]

and i actually got her phone no tonight as it happens - woohoo! :) :)

who is it then?
Eh, does it matter really? Nothing will come of it (almost as per usual, but don't take that as being pessimistic - based in fact, people), however much I think she is hot and cool...

Eh, does it matter really? Nothing will come of it (almost as per usual, but don't take that as being pessimistic - based in fact, people), however much I think she is hot and cool...

Join the club, I was kinda looking for advice as to how to be more interesting than "how are you?", but not as yet.

Join the club, I was kinda looking for advice as to how to be more interesting than "how are you?", but not as yet.
Make her laugh. Don't use too many sex jokes. Watch for her responses. Judge them as best you can without rose-tinted specs. Find stuff in common. Generic other relationship adivce. If you think she likes you at all, probe a little (not like that, it could get illegal).

who is it then?
By that we mean, what's her NS ID so we can spam her inbox with TGs and torture her sadistically for that?





....What? You mean not everyone plays NS?


:eek: I'm shocked! ;)

By that we mean, what's her NS ID so we can spam her inbox with TGs and torture her sadistically for that?





....What? You mean not everyone plays NS?


:eek: I'm shocked! ;)
he should at least know her email addy so we can still spam her. i mean thats normal, right - knowing a girl's email before you know her phone number? ;)
what?

he should at least know her email addy so we can still spam her. i mean thats normal, right - knowing a girl's email before you know her phone number? ;)
what?
Go on, scare me. Of course you need to know the e-mail address before the phone number. I always knew first the nation name, then the AIM address, then the e-mail, and then the phone number...and then the real address...but it never got that far.

As you can probably tell by now, all of the people I have even considered having a relationship with were on NS... Funny how that works out, with the unattainable ideal and such.... ^_^

I asked out my first...boyfriend, I guess we were boyfriends...well, I didn't really ask him out. I added him on MySpace. We said I love you after two weeks, and literally the next day, he got back together with his ex-boyfriend. Although he still loves me...as a friend.

That was two weeks ago(that he got back together with his ex).

Since then, I've slept with him once. Then he asked me to give him some space to sort out his feelings. I did, and they are still together. Yesterday, we got into an arguement over why we broke up to begin with. He cut himself while we were arguing. And then later that night he found out his boyfriend was mad at him for an unspecified reason. I haven't talked to, or heard from him today. I saw him for like have a second when I drove by his house on the way home, but he's not going to talk to me today, I guess.

*yeah, so I'm horribly depressed right now*

My first relationship ever was a complete disaster...What fun!

To be really brief, I need a relationship so much right now, but am kinda scared of asking certain people out. Any advice? Serious advice btw.:)

Take yourself out to a dinner at a great restaurant. After dinner, take yourself to the movie, opera, theater, or symphony. After that take yourself home and go to bed with yourself. :eek: You will feel much better in the morning. :D

Take yourself out to a dinner at a great restaurant. After dinner, take yourself to the movie, opera, theater, or symphony. After that take yourself home and go to bed with yourself. :eek: You will feel much better in the morning. :D
Then why is it considered an insult when someone says to you, "Go f*** yourself"? If it makes you feel good, it shouldn't be an insult! :p

(Not that I've ever tried this of course.... ;))

Didn't we have a "Dear Abby", I mean "Dear Eutrusca" column going this morning? Ask the Eut.

Then why is it considered an insult when someone says to you, "Go f*** yourself"? If it makes you feel good, it shouldn't be an insult! :p

(Not that I've ever tried this of course.... ;))

True. Very true. :D

First off, "needing" a relationship tends to make them avoid you. However, I know from experience it's hard to lose the feeling. So just try not to seem desperate, if you can.

Secondly, you just have to get over the nervousness by doing it. Basically, just steel yourself. What usually happened for me, before I got better at it, was I would start talking to them, and in every slight lull I'd rehearse the sentence ("Do you want to come to lunch with me sometime this week?"), feel the nervous jolt, not quite open mouth or just say something else, and after seven or eight rehearsals finally say it. If you know what you're going to say, then you can get it out without stumbling over your words too much, and once it's out it's out.

he should at least know her email addy so we can still spam her. i mean thats normal, right - knowing a girl's email before you know her phone number? ;)
what?

It's shit like this that makes me feel really old. :(

I have to agree with the "needing" a relationship detractors: if you need a relationship, you are not prepared for a relationship. If anything, I would take the opportunity to take a personal inventory of things that one could contribute to a relationship before setting out to find one.

If the only thing that you are looking for in a relationship is for someone to fill the void in your life, you will find someone that is looking for the same thing and you will be more empty than before.