NationStates Jolt Archive

Since I've been on General ( a little over a year now ), I've seen many, many posts by people bemoaning their fate: "I'm too fat ( or skinny, or young, or old, or poor, or whatEVER! ), and I'm depressed."

Ohhh-kayyy. If you're truly depressed (http://www.dbsalliance.org/info/depression.html), you need to see a doctor. Depression is a serious illness and can be medically treated. But beyond clinical depression, what you really need is to get pissed off! Yes, I said "pissed off!" Pissed off that you're allowing your life to pass you by. Pissed off that you're allowing yourself to feel sorry for yourself. Pissed off that you're missing out on most of what life is all about. Pissed off that "everyone else" is having fun and you sit at home and hide.

One of the primary complaints of those who refer to themselves as "depressed" ( especially on here for some reason ) is that "people ( or girls, or boys ) don't like me." GUESS WHAT! People don't like you because they don't know you! And beyond that, YOU don't know you!

You need to get pissed off about that too! Get so pissed off that you become willing to DO something about it.

So far as we know, this is the only chance we get at life. Screw this life up and you're shit outta luck! So what can you do to make people like you? Answer: nothing! People are either going to know you and like you, or know you and dislike you ( or, even worse, be indifferent to you ). So the first thing you have to decide is to find those select people who you want to like you.

The next step is to find out more about those people: hover around the margins of their group(s), discover what they talk about, discover what sorts of things they like to do, observe the way they behave, learn everything you can about them.

The next step is to research what you have discovered. If they like to talk about certain subjects, find out all you can about those subjects. Read about those subjects, study them, learn all you can.

The next step is to modify your behavior to be more in line with their behavior. This step seems to bother some people, why I don't really know. We modify our behavior all the time, so why not modify it consciously in a direction you choose? You're not changing your "self," you're simply modifying your own behavior. Hell, it's your behavior, do what you like with it!

Practice your chosen behaviors. Yes, it's going to feel awkward at first. Yes, you're going to feel like a total ass sometimes. Yes, there will be people who mock and make fun of your attempts to alter your behavior. But keep in mind why you're doing this: you're taking charge of your own life, moving it in a direction you have chosen. There will be those in your life who feel threatened by your new behavior, and those who will make fun of you. To hell with them! It's not their life, it's yours!

When you're satisfied that you've modified your behavior as well as you are able, then start hanging around the fringes of the group ( or a group similar to the group ) you have chosen. Practice your new behaviors. Try them out on others who hang around with this group. By observing their reactions, you will be able to tell how your behaviors are recieved and work on improving them accordingly.

This is where you will need to find a bit of courage and persistence. Nothing wothwhile comes easily. Get pissed off ... dig in ... simply refuse to give up! Keep in mind that this is your life, and how you have chosen to live it.

If you do your research thoroughly and don't give up, eventually the group you have chosen will come to accept you. Some of them will even admire your efforts and offer to help you in some way. After all, look at all the effort you have put into trying to become more like them; people can't help but be a bit flattered. :)

This is not an easy process, but it has one major advantage: it works! I know. I've used it several times in my own life, always to good effect.

Remember, the key is to make yourself what you want to become, i.e. make yourself interesting to a group you have chosen.

Good luck, and let me know if I can help! :)

i'm clinically depressed (doctor and councelling) and i don't see anyone from my own age-group (or anywhere remotely close to it) for weeks on end.
what is your sage advice Aunt Eut?


ps: i'm just trying to say its not as simple as that, or possible, for some people

besides i'm one of those people who sees the whole issue a different way: your friends choose you, you don't choose your friends. going out of your way to find some people you think are cool or whatever, copying what they do, researching it, and then modifying your behaviour to fit in with one of them is amazingly shallow and just strikes me as wrong. be yourself, if nobody likes you then maybe you've just not met the right people, maybe you're a little too -this- or -that- (maybe shy, maybe arrogant, whatever) and maybe you do need to change the way you interact with others, but you don't need to change your whole person and interests just to fit in with the crowd :rolleyes:
be yourself.

if i'm young, naieve and idealistic, then i'm sorry, but i do truly believe in what i said there


but i do agree everybody needs to get out there and meet people... just sometimes thats hard in more ways than one :(

That's right kids. Listen to the sage.

If people don't stick to you like glue, then it's because your personality, your intrests and everything else about you is wrong. So watch a weekend marathon of Survivour & Teen Idol and adapt the most popular behaviour. Get the same clothes too - and voila! A ton of new friends. Sure, they're not your friends, but you get to hang out with them. Fun, right?

I never can understand why people are so bothered by depression. I was depressed for good and reasonable reasons for some time and i didnt let it get in the way of much. I actualy quite enjoyed it in hindsight, it gave a pointlessness to me life that let me off the hook. Now im obligated to "perform" or even "work", this sort of thing wont do, i'm not the working type.

i'm clinically depressed (doctor and councelling) and i don't see anyone from my own age-group (or anywhere remotely close to it) for weeks on end. what is your sage advice Aunt Eut?

ps: i'm just trying to say its not as simple as that, or possible, for some people

besides i'm one of those people who sees the whole issue a different way: your friends choose you, you don't choose your friends. going out of your way to find some people you think are cool or whatever, copying what they do, researching it, and then modifying your behaviour to fit in with one of them is amazingly shallow and just strikes me as wrong. be yourself, if nobody likes you then maybe you've just not met the right people, maybe you're a little too -this- or -that- (maybe shy, maybe arrogant, whatever) and maybe you do need to change the way you interact with others, but you don't need to change your whole person and interests just to fit in with the crowd :rolleyes: be yourself.

but i do agree everybody needs to get out there and meet people... just sometimes thats hard in more ways than one :(
It should have been obvious from what I wrote that it's not for everyone. Only people who seriously want to change their lives should do so. If you're happy the way you are, then by all means, stay that way. :)

That's right kids. Listen to the sage.

If people don't stick to you like glue, then it's because your personality, your intrests and everything else about you is wrong. So watch a weekend marathon of Survivour & Teen Idol and adapt the most popular behaviour. Get the same clothes too - and voila! A ton of new friends. Sure, they're not your friends, but you get to hang out with them. Fun, right?
That's not what I said and you know it.

If you don't want to change, then don't. It's just that simple.

Well, somebody woke up on the salty side of the cracker today..... :p

Like PM, I'm clinically depressed, and I've also been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. I've had trouble in the past with both drugs and an eating disorder, and yet, somehow when some of these people go off on themselves, my life seem like sunshine and puppies in comparison. I've often wondered why it is that some people take for granted all the things they have going for them, because I just can't even understand how I was ever like that, but at the same time I never feel like I have a place to lecture them, knowing I was once in that place.

I, however, can't in good conscience advise people to follow my way to acceptance, because for me it was a matter of faith. The great friends, positive body image, good grades, and boyfriends came afterwards.

(Oh, by the way, in case anybody had actually realized I was in the hospital, the surgery went swimmingly....)

i'm clinically depressed (doctor and councelling) and i don't see anyone from my own age-group (or anywhere remotely close to it) for weeks on end.
what is your sage advice Aunt Eut?


but i do agree everybody needs to get out there and meet people... just sometimes thats hard in more ways than one :(
i worry about you sometimes, i think i should be the one sending you chocolate

That's not what I said and you know it.

If you don't want to change, then don't. It's just that simple.
I only read about 1/5, so no I don't actually. Anyway, I was just poking fun at the temper tantrum. You should never take me seriously ;)

And no. I don't want to change. I have plenty of friends, no depressions & am perfectly satisfied with my personality, my lame humour, my income, my flat & everything else.

If you'd fetch me a beer, I'd be in heaven :D

Simonist']Well, somebody woke up on the salty side of the cracker today..... :p

Like PM, I'm clinically depressed, and I've also been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. I've had trouble in the past with both drugs and an eating disorder, and yet, somehow when some of these people go off on themselves, my life seem like sunshine and puppies in comparison. I've often wondered why it is that some people take for granted all the things they have going for them, because I just can't even understand how I was ever like that, but at the same time I never feel like I have a place to lecture them, knowing I was once in that place.

I, however, can't in good conscience advise people to follow my way to acceptance, because for me it was a matter of faith. The great friends, positive body image, good grades, and boyfriends came afterwards.

(Oh, by the way, in case anybody had actually realized I was in the hospital, the surgery went swimmingly....)
I didn't know you were in the hospital. I was too. Glad your surgery went well! Welcome back. :)

As I should have indicated in the original post, the approach I outlined isn't for everyone. Some people find their own way back. Others need a bit of help. Some few need professional help, but those are the exceptions to the general rule that you are who you decide to be. Kudos for finding what works for you! :)

i sorta kinda agree with eut, even if his advice makes my skin crawl.

if you are NOT CLINICALLY DEPRESSED and you find yourself friendless, and you want friends. follow his advice. with a few modifications.

first of all, dont pick the "jocks-and-cheerleaders-royalty-of-the-school" in crowd. they dont let people in. part of the way they rule the school is by excluding people from their group. many of them enjoy crushing the hopes of people just like you. it can be intensely cruel.

so pick a more reasonable crowd. dont worry about how uncool the rest of the school considers them to be, you arent in a position to be a snob. go for a group of people who you think you might LIKE regardless of how they are seen by others.

as you follow eut's advice by hanging out and watching them a bit. EVALUATE THEM to see if they are really worth hanging out with. if they turn out to be assholes, drug abusers, vandals, or whatever move on and choose another group.

if you want to be in a group at all.

if you just want a friend or 2, look around, youll find other people like yourself who dont want to mold themselves by groupthink. talk to them. if you have stuff in common, start hanging out together. try this with people who seem to enjoy the same classes that you do or have the same nerdy obsessions (like who would win an all out "star trek vs star wars" battle)

but the important thing is to stop whining about not having the life you can have by just reaching out for it. cool people arent going to start beating down your door begging you to be their friends. its all up to you.

i worry about you sometimes, i think i should be the one sending you chocolate
Then do so and spare the rest of us! :D

I only read about 1/5, so no I don't actually. Anyway, I was just poking fun at the temper tantrum. You should never take me seriously ;)

And no. I don't want to change. I have plenty of friends, no depressions & am perfectly satisfied with my personality, my lame humour, my income, my flat & everything else.

If you'd fetch me a beer, I'd be in heaven :D
[ Hands you a cold one. ] There! Your happiness is complete! :D

Then do so and spare the rest of us! :D
i will when i have some money

i sorta kinda agree with eut, even if his advice makes my skin crawl.

if you are NOT CLINICALLY DEPRESSED and you find yourself friendless, and you want friends. follow his advice. with a few modifications.

first of all, dont pick the "jocks-and-cheerleaders-royalty-of-the-school" in crowd. they dont let people in. part of the way they rule the school is by excluding people from their group. many of them enjoy crushing the hopes of people just like you. it can be intensely cruel.

so pick a more reasonable crowd. dont worry about how uncool the rest of the school considers them to be, you arent in a position to be a snob. go for a group of people who you think you might LIKE regardless of how they are seen by others.

as you follow eut's advice by hanging out and watching them a bit. EVALUATE THEM to see if they are really worth hanging out with. if they turn out to be assholes, drug abusers, vandals, or whatever move on and choose another group.

if you want to be in a group at all.

if you just want a friend or 2, look around, youll find other people like yourself who dont want to mold themselves by groupthink. talk to them. if you have stuff in common, start hanging out together. try this with people who seem to enjoy the same classes that you do or have the same nerdy obsessions (like who would win an all out "star trek vs star wars" battle)

but the important thing is to stop whining about not having the life you can have by just reaching out for it. cool people arent going to start beating down your door begging you to be their friends. its all up to you.
[ Becomes more and more impressed by "Legs" Ashmoria! ] Good advice! It didn't occur to me to mention the "Jocks and cheeleaders" group, since I always held them in utmost contempt. :D

i will when i have some money
Good! You have a good heart, hon. I've seen that many times from you on here. You're a true sweetie! :fluffle:

[ Hands you a cold one. ] There! Your happiness is complete! :D
Oooh, do we not get carded here?

Simonist']Oooh, do we not get carded here?
Nope! As long as you're thirsty, it's kewl. :D

The next step is to modify your behavior to be more in line with their behavior. This step seems to bother some people, why I don't really know. We modify our behavior all the time, so why not modify it consciously in a direction you choose? You're not changing your "self," you're simply modifying your own behavior. Hell, it's your behavior, do what you like with it!

Remember, the key is to make yourself what you want to become, i.e. make yourself interesting to a group you have chosen.


Thanks for the advice, but no. :) I believe lasting friendship can only occur with people with whom you genuinely have points in common, similar interests, etc... If you just try to imitate them, I don't see how you can be happy, with them or with yourself. In most cases, anyway.

If people are interested in who I genuinely am, and if I'm interested in them in turn, good. If not, it's not a major problem. I'm not a very sociable person anyway.

I have a few friends that I've had for years. I see them occasionally and we stay in touch, though I often go several weeks without seeing... well, anybody, except my parents when I visit them, and except people at work/uni.

I don't mind it. I feel more comfortable being this way. Changing myself is not an option. And, besides, I couldn't be bothered. :p


i'm clinically depressed (doctor and councelling) and i don't see anyone from my own age-group (or anywhere remotely close to it) for weeks on end.
what is your sage advice Aunt Eut?

but i do agree everybody needs to get out there and meet people... just sometimes thats hard in more ways than one

Eh... Poor PM. :( If you're anything like me, you'll eventually stop seeing it as a problem, and just feel comfortable living as who you are. But in your case it seems it would make you feel better to try and go out and have fun with other people. Have you tried taking part in group activities? Sport, or uni clubs of some sort?

It should have been obvious from what I wrote that it's not for everyone. Only people who seriously want to change their lives should do so. If you're happy the way you are, then by all means, stay that way. :)
i will not sacrifice who i am to some invented persona just to hang out with a bunch of people
one may be unhappy with the way things are but thats not an option.

Holy bad Pop-psychology Batman!

Yes, sometimes it might be you. Or sometimes (as we've all seen happen) you might just have happened to become the person that people decided that they needed to marginalized from the popular school clique so that they could teaer you down to make them feel bigger. We've all seen that happen to someone who didn't really desrerve it.

But the notion that you have to change yourself just to fit in? Abondon your real interests and take up theirs? Just so you can get membership to the Club?

Sorry - Fuck that.

Be yourself. Examine what it is that you like, why you like it, what you like about yourslef, and what you don't. Worry about fixing the things YOU don;t like about yourself before you give a rats ass about what others find wanting.

Then maybe ask your friends if you have some traits or habits that sometimes piss them off. Maybe you have a tendancy sometimes to act some way that you don't even realize you are doing. Ask your friends, and expect that the answers might sadden you or anger you a bit. Don't take it out on them though - they ARE your friends who already like you despite your faults (and yes, we all have them), and besides that - you ASKED.

Then take a critical look at if your friends might have a point, and whether it is something you would like to change. Work on those.


But worrying about being in the IN crowd?

Hey, if that is your greatest dream than go right ahead.

Or, you can choose NOT to be that fricken shallow and just work on being the best version of yourself that you can be - for you own self-image. Once you really like yourself, others will like you more. Because happy confident people are fun to be around.

Nope! As long as you're thirsty, it's kewl. :D
Well, I'd ask for one, but alcohol's a downer, and Lord knows I'd not want to incur your wrath on that one particular topic :rolleyes:

I suddenly wondered how many of the people who actually ARE veritably "depressed" (though I realize how small a minority that's likely to be, considering how that word's thrown around these days) are actually being treated for it....

Holy bad Pop-psychology Batman!

Yes, sometimes it might be you. Or sometimes (as we've all seen happen) you might just have happened to become the person that people decided that they needed to marginalized from the popular school clique so that they could teaer you down to make them feel bigger. We've all seen that happen to someone who didn't really desrerve it.

But the notion that you have to change yourself just to fit in? Abondon your real interests and take up theirs? Just so you can get membership to the Club?

Sorry - Fuck that.

Be yourself. Examine what it is that you like, why you like it, what you like about yourslef, and what you don't. Worry about fixing the things YOU don;t like about yourself before you give a rats ass about what others find wanting.

Then maybe ask your friends if you have some traits or habits that sometimes piss them off. Maybe you have a tendancy sometimes to act some way that you don't even realize you are doing. Ask your friends, and expect that the answers might sadden you or anger you a bit. Don't take it out on them though - they ARE your friends who already like you despite your faults (and yes, we all have them), and besides that - you ASKED.

Then take a critical look at if your friends might have a point, and whether it is something you would like to change. Work on those.


But worrying about being in the IN crowd?

Hey, if that is your greatest dream than go right ahead.

Or, you can choose NOT to be that fricken shallow and just work on being the best version of yourself that you can be - for you own self-image. Once you really like yourself, others will like you more. Because happy confident people are fun to be around.
Who said anything about being in "the IN crowd?" This was my advice to those who are willing to change to get where they want to be. If you're comfortable with who you are and where you are, then don't change. As I stated several times, it's YOUR life; do with it what pleases you. :p

Simonist']Well, I'd ask for one, but alcohol's a downer, and Lord knows I'd not want to incur your wrath on that one particular topic :rolleyes:

I suddenly wondered how many of the people who actually ARE veritably "depressed" (though I realize how small a minority that's likely to be, considering how that word's thrown around these days) are actually being treated for it....
There are different sorts of "depression," primarily two kinds: clinical depression ( which requires professional help ), and emotional depression ( which is subject to your own efforts to change ). If someone isn't sure which sort they have, it's best to err on the side of clinical and pay a visit to your physician.

That's right kids. Listen to the sage.

If people don't stick to you like glue, then it's because your personality, your intrests and everything else about you is wrong. So watch a weekend marathon of Survivour & Teen Idol and adapt the most popular behaviour. Get the same clothes too - and voila! A ton of new friends. Sure, they're not your friends, but you get to hang out with them. Fun, right?
Bullshit. That's not what he was getting at. One doesn't need to be identical to everyone else to be accepted, but one needs to be able to hold a conversation with others on topics of mutual interest and in a manner that's easily understood. The fact is that most people have at least a few things in common, whether it's taste in music, movies, political viewpoint, religion, sports, whatever. You can listen to others, find what you have in common, and use that to start an ice-breaking conversation. After they get comfortable with you they'll want to know more about you and then you can talk about your differences.

Who said anything about being in "the IN crowd?" This was my advice to those who are willing to change to get where they want to be. If you're comfortable with who you are and where you are, then don't change. As I stated several times, it's YOUR life; do with it what pleases you. :p
Yeah, what he said.

Besides, there's more to making lasting friends than being in "the in crowd". Hell, I mean, I was in that 'apex clique' when I was having all my little problems, and it's entirely likely that's part of what contributed to it. I broke out to being friends with the general populace instead, and while it unintentionally boosted my "popular" appeal, it also made me feel a lot better knowing that I had people I could turn to for help in any situation.

Good advice Eutrusca. If you really want something you have to try hard to get it and never give in. Getting angry about your weight, your social situation, your job situation, whatever, can give you the motivation you need to hang in there and meet your goals.

i will when i have some money
woohoo!! :fluffle:

talk to them. if you have stuff in common, start hanging out together.
thats all there is to it imo. if you something in common with someone, go for it and be friends. if it turns out you have something in common with a group of people then all the better.
changing yourself (behaviour etc) so you have stuff in common with a group is just sad :(
changing just (some of) your interests so you have something in common with somebody is ok by me though, but who am i to tell others what to do

I believe lasting friendship can only occur with people with whom you genuinely have points in common, similar interests, etc... If you just try to imitate them, I don't see how you can be happy, with them or with yourself.
bingo!!

Eh... Poor PM. :( If you're anything like me, you'll eventually stop seeing it as a problem, and just feel comfortable living as who you are. But in your case it seems it would make you feel better to try and go out and have fun with other people. Have you tried taking part in group activities? Sport, or uni clubs of some sort?
ah don't worry about me - i wouldn't say i'm happy like this but i'm a damn sight happier now than i was back at uni (where i did have friends and occasional activities etc etc). that said, i would like to go out and 'take part in group activities' but i don't know what opportunities there are for that kind of thing round here :headbang:

Bullshit. That's not what he was getting at. One doesn't need to be identical to everyone else to be accepted, but one needs to be able to hold a conversation with others on topics of mutual interest and in a manner that's easily understood. The fact is that most people have at least a few things in common, whether it's taste in music, movies, political viewpoint, religion, sports, whatever. You can listen to others, find what you have in common, and use that to start an ice-breaking conversation. After they get comfortable with you they'll want to know more about you and then you can talk about your differences.
Thank you, DC. Much appreciated.

Sometimes, when we feel a bit threatened by having to confront the need to change things, it's easy to misinterpret advice. People resist change, especially when changing requires that they alter their own behavior. It's hard and takes effort. It also takes a considerable degree of courage and persistence. If it were easy, there would be a lot less "depression" and a lot less bitching about "my life sucks!" No one ever said it would be easy, but it can be done. The real question is: how badly do you want it?

yeah, wonderful advice, get angry about everything...and then what happens? You go suicidal. Or cut yourself up in frustration. Brilliant solution.

yeah, wonderful advice, get angry about everything...and then what happens? You go suicidal. Or cut yourself up in frustration. Brilliant solution.

I'm fairly sure thats not what he meant. Eut meant get annoyed at being depressed and motivate yourself into doing something. Hell, it worked for me. I don't think he means go into a rage, but just get annoyed and changed. I used to be a complete geek. I still am....but I've adapted, come into mainstream society, and got lots of real friends who like me and whom I like, whilst still retaining my old geeky 'values'.

Good advice Eutrusca. If you really want something you have to try hard to get it and never give in. Getting angry about your weight, your social situation, your job situation, whatever, can give you the motivation you need to hang in there and meet your goals.
Exactly! Sometimes even trying to decide to change takes more effort than many are willing to expend. What that says to me is that they enjoy bitching about where they are more than they think they would enjoy being in a better place of their choosing.

Alright...first off. Whose handing out the free beers?

Second, good advice. If you don't like who you are then start that long process of changing yourself. You are not selling out by becoming more outgoing.

To those talking about the 'in' crowd. It does not exist. I repeat it does not exist. Those 'popular' kids were rejected from more parties then anyone other clique.

I'm fairly sure thats not what he meant. Eut meant get annoyed at being depressed and motivate yourself into doing something. Hell, it worked for me. I don't think he means go into a rage, but just get annoyed and changed. I used to be a complete geek. I still am....but I've adapted, come into mainstream society, and got lots of real friends who like me and whom I like, whilst still retaining my old geeky 'values'.
Excellent! That's exactly what I meant. The difference lies in the disparity between "anger" and "rage." Rage is a highly negative emotion and can harm you if unabated. Anger can help you motivate yourself to change things you don't like.

yeah, fuck psychology, let's all just snap out of it and be happy again...fuckyou.:rolleyes:

yeah, fuck psychology, let's all just snap out of it and be happy again...fuckyou.:rolleyes:

Oh please, come on. You know thats not what Eut meant, geez. Its a long process, if you actually read what he said and what others have agreed with. Getting annoyed and changing is a long process. Not exactly 'snapping fingers'; it can take months, even years. Took me about a year or so.

To those talking about the 'in' crowd. It does not exist. I repeat it does not exist. Those 'popular' kids were rejected from more parties then anyone other clique.
Um.....not in my high school....

But then I'll admit, the "popular" kids of my high school weren't the jock/cheerleader types, they were the people in NHS or IB, they were the kids who worked hard for what they got. They were musicians, artists, dancers.....fat kids, skinny kids.....as long as they were good people.

Though, on the other hand, there was intense competition between that crowd as to who got the most community service per semester.

I always thought the 'popular clique' was an american thing. It never really existed in my school. There were kids more popular than others, but no real groups or cliques.

yeah, wonderful advice, get angry about everything...and then what happens? You go suicidal. Or cut yourself up in frustration. Brilliant solution.
You have to know what to do with your anger. Use it as positive motivation. I used to wrestle in high school. I was fat, weak and lousy at it, but I used anger at my own lack of ability to stay motivated and keep working. I was never kicked off the team, and my skills improved. I was shy around new people. I got mad at myself for being afraid of others, so I worked at making conversation in spite of my anxiety. I've got alot of great friends now.

Anger is a great motivating force if channeled properly. It will make you stand up for your rights, improve yourself, and create a better life.

Simonist']Um.....not in my high school....

But then I'll admit, the "popular" kids of my high school weren't the jock/cheerleader types, they were the people in NHS or IB, they were the kids who worked hard for what they got. They were musicians, artists, dancers.....fat kids, skinny kids.....as long as they were good people.

Though, on the other hand, there was intense competition between that crowd as to who got the most community service per semester.
Now that is unusual.

Oh please, come on. You know thats not what Eut meant, geez. Its a long process, if you actually read what he said and what others have agreed with. Getting annoyed and changing is a long process. Not exactly 'snapping fingers'; it can take months, even years. Took me about a year or so.
Which is precisely why I indicated that it takes courage and persistence. Getting pissed at your current status is only the beginning. It helps you get motivated to change. The process of change takes courage, time, effort and persistence. Why is this so difficult to understand? :(

Which is precisely why I indicated that it takes courage and persistence. Getting pissed at your current status is only the beginning. It helps you get motivated to change. The process of change takes courage, time, effort and persistence. Why is this so difficult to understand? :(

I understand, Eutrusca. Or did you mean CG?

You have to know what to do with your anger. Use it as positive motivation. I used to wrestle in high school. I was fat, weak and lousy at it, but I used anger at my own lack of ability to stay motivated and keep working. I was never kicked off the team, and my skills improved. I was shy around new people. I got mad at myself for being afraid of others, so I worked at making conversation in spite of my anxiety. I've got alot of great friends now.

Anger is a great motivating force if channeled properly. It will make you stand up for your rights, improve yourself, and create a better life.
[ Applauds ] :)

Now that is unusual.
Yeah....the major downside was that when I decided to branch out and get to know as many kids as I could (which is quite a task in a school of 3000 people, when all you do is band, orchestra, theatre, and NHS), it was really hard for them not to take it personally.....it was pretty tough to explain that it was just killing me that so many people were wary of my friendship because they never figured a "popular" person would talk to them.

Maybe everybody's too used to the stereotype

what do you do when you kinda want to change but you don't know to what? or in what direction... you know what i mean :confused:

I understand, Eutrusca. Or did you mean CG?
I know you do! It was certain others about whom I was speaking. Sometimes just the suggestion that it's possible to change can be threatening. It takes the blame for current condition right squarely where it belongs: on you. Some people react very negatively to suggestions that the problem may not be the fault of others.

what do you do when you kinda want to change but you don't know to what? or in what direction... you know what i mean :confused:
Think about what kind of person you want to be. That's your goal. Do you want to be rich? Do you want to be a creative artist? Do you want to be popular? Decide what kind of person you want to be and find out how to become that person.

Anger is a great motivating force if channeled properly. It will make you stand up for your rights, improve yourself, and create a better life.

Thank you, Darth Sideous. ;)

Yes, of course it's my own freaking mistake I'm a messed up bitch. Thanks for pointing this out.

Think about what kind of person you want to be. That's your goal. Do you want to be rich? Do you want to be a creative artist? Do you want to be popular? Decide what kind of person you want to be and find out how to become that person.

I want to be....A LUMBERJACK! :D

I want to be....A LUMBERJACK! :D
Well that's no way to go....who would want to sleep all night and work all day?

I know you do! It was certain others about whom I was speaking. Sometimes just the suggestion that it's possible to change can be threatening. It takes the blame for current condition right squarely where it belongs: on you. Some people react very negatively to suggestions that the problem may not be the fault of others.

Sorry. Just finished a bunch of essays and my mind is still misty. Yes, often the fault isn't other people. I thought I was superior to other people because I thought I was more intelligent. My arrogance was astounding. I am kinda smart, but fortunately having no friends knocked me off of my pedestal and made me realise I had to change. It took ages and I think it was often subconcious, but it happened. I have a great group of friends now.

Thank you, Darth Sideous. ;)
You can't be pure good or pure evil. You can't be angry all the time or peacefull all the time. Growth comes from the dynamic balance between the paired opposites. You're not a complete human being if you prevent yourself from becoming angry.

what do you do when you kinda want to change but you don't know to what? or in what direction... you know what i mean :confused:
Do some research. Try different things. Try making some new acquaintences to see if you'd like to try and make them friends. Look around and see who's "got it all together," then decide if that's the sort of "all together" you'd like to try. Some people can display a happy face to the general populace, while suffering inside, so you need to be a careful observer.

Yes, of course it's my own freaking mistake I'm a messed up bitch. Thanks for pointing this out.
well yeah, who elses fault would it be?!

I want to be....A LUMBERJACK! :D
Are you sure you can deal with all the crossdressing involved?

Are you sure you can deal with all the crossdressing involved?

Ah, but you forget....you do get your own group of Mounties to sing along with you!

Yes, of course it's my own freaking mistake I'm a messed up bitch. Thanks for pointing this out.
It's not a matter of "mistakes." It's simply a matter of deciding whether you want to continue as you are, or make the effort to change. Hey ... it's your life, not mine. Do what you want to with it.

Are you sure you can deal with all the crossdressing involved?
Wait, is that required?

Are you sure you can deal with all the crossdressing involved?


My dear papa handled it just fine. ;)

You can't be pure good or pure evil. You can't be angry all the time or peacefull all the time. Growth comes from the dynamic balance between the paired opposites. You're not a complete human being if you prevent yourself from becoming angry.

http://www.boomersfunnies.com/Pictures/yoda%20on%20weed.jpg

Simonist']Um.....not in my high school....

But then I'll admit, the "popular" kids of my high school weren't the jock/cheerleader types, they were the people in NHS or IB, they were the kids who worked hard for what they got. They were musicians, artists, dancers.....fat kids, skinny kids.....as long as they were good people.

Though, on the other hand, there was intense competition between that crowd as to who got the most community service per semester.
hmm...if there wasn't a real clique that was seen as the top tier of social life doesn't that kind of back up what I was saying that the 'in' crowd did not exist. I was attempting, probably very badly at, to put it that what people usually see as the top (jocks, cheerleaders etc) actually got rejected from some of the best parties, which would mean they aren't so popular.

But yeah, I think your school seems to runs counter to the main stream image of schools.

well yeah, who elses fault would it be?!
Tink, you know as well as anyone that there are virtually multitudes of "others" to blame: parents, siblings, the "in crowd," alleged "friends," alleged "enemies," anyone and everyone except self. It's only when we begin to take responsibility for our own lives that we can realize, "Hey! This is MY frakking life! No one else's. If I don't like the way it is right now, I'll damned well change it and no one can stop me!" :)

hmm...if there wasn't a real clique that was seen as the top tier of social life doesn't that kind of back up what I was saying that the 'in' crowd did not exist. I was attempting, probably very badly at, to put it that what people usually see as the top (jocks, cheerleaders etc) actually got rejected from some of the best parties, which would mean they aren't so popular.

But yeah, I think your school seems to runs counter to the main stream image of schools.
OOOOOH! Well, sorry for the misunderstanding......I really need to polish up on my reading skills, after a few days off....I've been laying in a hospital bed the past day and a half. Really cuts down on the thought process :D

Simonist']OOOOOH! Well, sorry for the misunderstanding......I really need to polish up on my reading skills, after a few days off....I've been laying in a hospital bed the past day and a half. Really cuts down on the thought process :D
Bah! Excuses! It's no ones fault but your own!

You can't be pure good or pure evil. You can't be angry all the time or peacefull all the time. Growth comes from the dynamic balance between the paired opposites. You're not a complete human being if you prevent yourself from becoming angry.
You have indeed learned the value of balance, Grasshopper. You are not far from true wisdom. [ said in the best Far East accent I can manage ] :D

Bah! Excuses! It's no ones fault but your own!
Wha? Hey, I'm not the bitch here.....

Come to think of it, it is my fault. I should've been more proactive in fighting that infection. I should've gotten ANGRY about it!
(That'll be the last of my mocking, Eut...promise :fluffle: )

Simonist']OOOOOH! Well, sorry for the misunderstanding......I really need to polish up on my reading skills, after a few days off....I've been laying in a hospital bed the past day and a half. Really cuts down on the thought process :D
Hey it's all good. I remember from the last surgery I had. Shit I was knocked the fuck out for about 2 days.

Simonist']OOOOOH! Well, sorry for the misunderstanding......I really need to polish up on my reading skills, after a few days off....I've been laying in a hospital bed the past day and a half. Really cuts down on the thought process :D
May I enquire as to what the problem was? My own 5-day stay was to have a cancerous prostate removed. Seems to have worked, BTW. :D

Simonist'](That'll be the last of my mocking, Eut...promise :fluffle: )
Um ... thanks ... I think. :D

May I enquire as to what the problem was? My own 5-day stay was to have a cancerous prostate removed. Seems to have worked, BTW. :D
Oh, ew, that's the most hilariously disgusting thing I've tried not to imagine all day *scratches eyeballs in pain*

This might suddenly make my high-profile upper-middle class life seem a bit ghetto, but....once upon a time, about a week ago, I got stabbed accidentally....

Long story short, even though I took care of the wound and got stitches, it got infected on the inside and possibly spread to my small intestine, so they had to go in, take care of that, and removed about six inches of intestine "just to be sure". Because apparently those suckers will just hold bacteria like crazy. There's more to it, but it's a bunch of medical crap I wasn't awake enough to understand (mmmm, morphine).

For some reason, I think some of my friends thought I was getting plastic surgery. Luckily, the scar's going to be freakin' TINY....I don't even know how they did it with such a small incision.

Tink, you know as well as anyone that there are virtually multitudes of "others" to blame: parents, siblings, the "in crowd," alleged "friends," alleged "enemies," anyone and everyone except self. It's only when we begin to take responsibility for our own lives that we can realize, "Hey! This is MY frakking life! No one else's. If I don't like the way it is right now, I'll damned well change it and no one can stop me!" :)
bad things happen to everyone, if you wanna get through it then you can, it isnt easy but you can do it, if yuo'd rather mope around feeling sorry for yourself and then things get even more screwed up and you end up messed up then it can only be your fault, if instead you deal with it, talk to someone about it, do something about it then it'll make you a better person, you are who you are because of the way you deal with life's ups and down

And I think you need to know a bit more about someone's situation before you open your big mouth.

And I think you need to know a bit more about someone's situation before you open your big mouth.
Well maybe you should explain your situation before you attack people for not knowing it.

As they say: put up or shut up.

Simonist']Oh, ew, that's the most hilariously disgusting thing I've tried not to imagine all day *scratches eyeballs in pain*

This might suddenly make my high-profile upper-middle class life seem a bit ghetto, but....once upon a time, about a week ago, I got stabbed accidentally....

Long story short, even though I took care of the wound and got stitches, it got infected on the inside and possibly spread to my small intestine, so they had to go in, take care of that, and removed about six inches of intestine "just to be sure". Because apparently those suckers will just hold bacteria like crazy. There's more to it, but it's a bunch of medical crap I wasn't awake enough to understand (mmmm, morphine).

For some reason, I think some of my friends thought I was getting plastic surgery. Luckily, the scar's going to be freakin' TINY....I don't even know how they did it with such a small incision.
LOL! Sorry to have startled you with that! :D

Most of the surgery done now involves far less intrusive techniques. Mine was surprisingly small in light of what they had to do. I'll have a scar on my abdomen now, but not that bad.

And I think you need to know a bit more about someone's situation before you open your big mouth.
Do you need a hug? or how about a bottle of vodka?

bad things happen to everyone, if you wanna get through it then you can, it isnt easy but you can do it, if yuo'd rather mope around feeling sorry for yourself and then things get even more screwed up and you end up messed up then it can only be your fault, if instead you deal with it, talk to someone about it, do something about it then it'll make you a better person, you are who you are because of the way you deal with life's ups and down
You GO, girl! [ high fives! ] :)

I'm on the fly, so I haven't read this whole thread, but let me put in a few cents worth.

I have had a few run ins with depression. No matter how badly I wanted children, I couldn't have them. So, heck with that, I adopted 4. And reaped the benefits of getting my kids already up and running and housebroke. I did manage to master the diaper changing ritual (but never without gagging) with my grandchildren...all 9 of them!!

A few years ago I was assaulted by a co-worker. This changed my husband's feelings about me. He immediately found a woman 26 years his junior and divorced me. The divorce was granted 4 days after our 25th wedding anniversary and he married her the next day. She left him for another man within the year and he's been alone ever since. I, however, found out that one of my best friends was really a great guy. He was there when I needed him, he was thoughtful, kind, gentle. And, best of all, he accepted me for what I am and loved me anyway. We've been married for 5 1/2 years.

I lost my only daughter suddenly and unexpectedly to a brain aneurysm. There is no way to describe the pain of losing a child. It is utterly devastating and crippling. But, Mr Wonderful (mentioned above) made me see that she left behind 2 pieces of herself that needed their grandma's love more than ever. I see so much of her in them, and it hurts, but it's a sweet pain as she is not gone from me. She also left her touch on each member of the family. That touch will show up at the most unexpected and joyful times making her presence felt even more

Depression is real. Sometimes it's huge events that bring it on. Sometimes it's a chemical imbalance. Sometimes it's a state of mind. But, it is treatable and it is possible to overcome it and grow. It's up to you to decide you want a better, happier, more fulfilling life and do what you have to do to make it happen.

i worry about you sometimes, i think i should be the one sending you chocolate

PM sends you chocolate? Smart man! Lucky lady!!

I don't need to spill my personal life to tell you what you are saying is BS and offensie to people who do try to change their life but keep getting put down, and who really can''t help their situation, and are annoyed and angry about it, but all it does is getting them in self-destruct mode. Try learning a bit more of psychology before you make situations worse.

And I think you need to know a bit more about someone's situation before you open your big mouth.
and i think you need to go away and stop sounding so sorry for yourself, it won't help you

And I think you need to know a bit more about someone's situation before you open your big mouth.
You're indulging yourself in avoidance behaviors. If you want advice then you have to open up a bit. However, Tink's statement applies pretty much across the board, IMHO.

PM sends you chocolate? Smart man! Lucky lady!!
yeah, a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuge bar of my favourite chocolate, he's awesome!

I don't need to spill my personal life to tell you what you are saying is BS and offensie to people who do try to change their life but keep getting put down, and who really can''t help their situation, and are annoyed and angry about it, but all it does is getting them in self-destruct mode. Try learning a bit more of psychology before you make situations worse.
Try shutting your pie hole before you do. I already said I've been in a bad situation, for all I know so much worse than yours, and I got out of it on my own. In my mind, that does give me room to talk about it.

Try learning a bit more tolerance before somebody bitch-slaps you someday. Trust me, I'm sure there are many who will want to.

yeah, a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuge bar of my favourite chocolate, he's awesome!

I've noticed that about him. And from the pics I've seen of him he's not hard on the eyes either. If I wasn't an old arthritic lady I might give you a run for his attention. Instead, I'll nod and smile in a maternal way.;)

Simonist']Trust me, I'm sure there are many who will want to.

Are we taking numbers? ;)

Depression is real. Sometimes it's huge events that bring it on. Sometimes it's a chemical imbalance. Sometimes it's a state of mind. But, it is treatable and it is possible to overcome it and grow. It's up to you to decide you want a better, happier, more fulfilling life and do what you have to do to make it happen.
Good advice, Zooke. And welcome back! :D

Your experiences have helped you become who you are, and I happen to like that person a great deal.

Sometimes great suffering will temper us like forged steel. Sometimes, it can cripple or even destroy us if we allow it. In the process of suffering and hurting, we can grow in surprising ways. With me, it was in finally getting pissed enough to make myself change. It was painful, difficult, and sometimes frightening, but at least I had my time in the military to fall back on. I had learned the value of never surrendering and applied that to my efforts to change. All I'm trying to do here and now is pass on some of what I learned from going through those changes. I sure do hope someone is listening. :)

I don't need to spill my personal life to tell you what you are saying is BS and offensie to people who do try to change their life but keep getting put down, and who really can''t help their situation, and are annoyed and angry about it, but all it does is getting them in self-destruct mode. Try learning a bit more of psychology before you make situations worse.

No matter what you do in life, there is always going to be someone who, if not outright trying to hold you back, will at least not make any effort to assist you. Ignore those people. Look for people who will support and encourage you. Then, set your goal, and keep aiming for it. It may take a long time, and you may have to try many different approaches, but, with determination and will, you'll make it. If, however, you choose to sit on your butt and whine "Poor me!!" you'll never have anything other than a poor life and a load of wasted potential.

Good advice, Zooke. And welcome back! :D

Your experiences have helped you become who you are, and I happen to like that person a great deal.

Sometimes great suffering will temper us like forged steel. Sometimes, it can cripple or even destroy us if we allow it. In the process of suffering and hurting, we can grow in surprising ways. With me, it was in finally getting pissed enough to make myself change. It was painful, difficult, and sometimes frightening, but at least I had my time in the military to fall back on. I had learned the value of never surrendering and applied that to my efforts to change. All I'm trying to do here and now is pass on some of what I learned from going through those changes. I sure do hope someone is listening. :)

Thank you dearheart. I'm taking a vacation day today to rest up from the last few weeks and to take care of a sick dog. Naturally I'm doing this by playing on NS and making a 7 layer lasagna.

You and I are older, we grew up in the 60's when society was going through some major upheavals. We've muddled through life raising families and building careers. We've seen and experienced so much...maybe more than any generation before us. But, the young folks on here may experience even more. Hopefully, we can give a little advice from our litany of life that they can shape and adapt to their future world.

I've always liked to see people help each other, it's a great thing and it improves everyone's lives. But what you people are doing is the exact opposite. I doubt any of you have a Phd in psychology or even been in therapy. Because every bit of advice you've been giving is wrong and downright offensive to the people that need it.

Your advice of copying people so you can make friends is wrong. I know for a fact that nobody but the most shallow people would like someone copying them. And even then, you'd at most be a friend that he or she keeps around in order to look cool.

Look, depression is a serious thing and people that suffer from it are vurnerable people, that is why only trained professionals treat people that suffer from depression, because it isn't as easy as making some fake friends. So please stop this, you're not helping these people, you're hurting them. They need to forget about what you told them and go see a trained professional about their problems, not you.

I leave you with some wise words.

"Accept everything about yourself - I mean everything, You are you and that is the beginning and the end - no apologies, no regrets."

~ Henry A. Kissinger

Thank you dearheart. I'm taking a vacation day today to rest up from the last few weeks and to take care of a sick dog. Naturally I'm doing this by playing on NS and making a 7 layer lasagna.

You and I are older, we grew up in the 60's when society was going through some major upheavals. We've muddled through life raising families and building careers. We've seen and experienced so much...maybe more than any generation before us. But, the young folks on here may experience even more. Hopefully, we can give a little advice from our litany of life that they can shape and adapt to their future world.
True, true.

I hesitate to list all the things I've gone through, but there's no way anyone on here can know who I am without doing so, I suppose. Some of these young people on here are going to have to go through their own version of hell, but they need to know that they have courage ... all they have to do is dig down deep and find it. Life must be faced with courage and persistence. In my own case, it's helped that I love a good fight, and life can be the ultimate fight. We all lose the war in the final analysis, but by God, I'll not go quietly! :D

I agree about being the main person in control of your life. If you want to change it, you can and it is down to you. That doesn't mean I'm belittling the huge effort it can take, especially when overcoming depression, and that doesn't mean you shouldn't ask for support but even with depression it is you who changes that, either by getting help and putting your all into it or by changing things about your life. This isn't speaking from an outsiders point of view. This is speaking as someone who has suffered and is suffering on and off from diagnosed depression. Even with professional help, it's down to you. You don't just sit there and they wave a wand and everything becomes better. It's hard work, believe me. But it's worth it and you can do it.

With friends it can be hard because it works in a cycle. With less friends you have less confidence and that makes it harder to make new friends. But it is very much possible to make friends and it is very much worthwhile. I don't believe in changing who you are to fit a group, but changing yourself to be the person you want be can only be a good thing. Bringing out different sides of yourself or having different sides brought out of you is great and what makes each and every relationship you have unique.

EDIT: Another point. You can accept yourself and have good self-confidence while still analysing yourself and thinking about ways you can further yourself in life. They aren't polar opposites.

Think about what kind of person you want to be. That's your goal. Do you want to be rich? Do you want to be a creative artist? Do you want to be popular? Decide what kind of person you want to be and find out how to become that person.
thanks for the advice, but i wish i knew what that [thing i want to be] was. thats what this year out of uni is supposed to be for, to help me work out at least a clue but i'm sill none the wizer at all, unfortunatley :(
i just want to feel happy again :(

there's only one thing i do at the moment that does just that, make me happy, but i'm really lost as to what to do there (its a person btw) :confused:

I've always liked to see people help each other, it's a great thing and it improves everyone's lives. But what you people are doing is the exact opposite. I doubt any of you have a Phd in psychology or even been in therapy. Because every bit of advice you've been giving is wrong and downright offensive to the people that need it.

Your advice of copying people so you can make friends is wrong. I know for a fact that nobody but the most shallow people would like someone copying them. And even then, you'd at most be a friend that he or she keeps around in order to look cool.

Look, depression is a serious thing and people that suffer from it are vurnerable people, that is why only trained professionals treat people that suffer from depression, because it isn't as easy as making some fake friends. So please stop this, you're not helping these people, you're hurting them. They need to forget about what you told them and go see a trained professional about their problems, not you.

I leave you with some wise words.

"Accept everything about yourself - I mean everything, You are you and that is the beginning and the end - no apologies, no regrets."

~ Henry A. Kissinger
Sigh. I sincerely hope you're not referring to me, because as I have stated again and again and again ... when in doubt about the cause of your "depression," see your doctor!

If you want to visit a foreign country, say Russia, for example, you can consult a travel guide, visit a travel agent, and/or talk to someone who's been there. I recommend doing all three. The same applies to things in our lives about which we have questions: we can read up on it, we can consult a professional, and/or we can talk to others who have "been there."\

And by the way, Henry Kissinger isn't a psychologist.

I've always liked to see people help each other, it's a great thing and it improves everyone's lives. But what you people are doing is the exact opposite. I doubt any of you have a Phd in psychology or even been in therapy. Because every bit of advice you've been giving is wrong and downright offensive to the people that need it.

Your advice of copying people so you can make friends is wrong. I know for a fact that nobody but the most shallow people would like someone copying them. And even then, you'd at most be a friend that he or she keeps around in order to look cool.

Look, depression is a serious thing and people that suffer from it are vurnerable people, that is why only trained professionals treat people that suffer from depression, because it isn't as easy as making some fake friends. So please stop this, you're not helping these people, you're hurting them. They need to forget about what you told them and go see a trained professional about their problems, not you.

I leave you with some wise words.

"Accept everything about yourself - I mean everything, You are you and that is the beginning and the end - no apologies, no regrets."

~ Henry A. Kissinger
I think we've gotten off track a bit, and this post kind of brought it into perspective for me.

Eut wasn't trying to tell people who are ACTUALLY depressed what to do to make themselves better -- everybody knows that's something that a doctor should take care of (plus, I believe he mentioned that if you've got serious concerns you should see a doctor). I believe the point of his original post was more to snap the kids who simply want to wallow in their own "sadness" into doing something with their lives. For my part, I apologize....I wouldn't have brought up my own past history if I knew it waas going to turn more into a debate on how people suffering from depression should handle it.

However, in contrast to the point you made....depression runs in my family. No, I suppose I should rather say it gallops. Out of two sisters, my mother, my aunt, and my grandmother, I'm the only one who has required treatment, and that's more because I was also diagnosed borderline as well. Now that my mother's getting older, they've got her on the most mild antidepressants that are marketed these days, which she only takes twice a week. My sister tried seeing a therapist once, and decided it wasn't her bag. These aren't minor cases, either....but they've simply decided that they'd rather take care of it themselves. Should we deny them the decision to do that simply because it's failed for others?

I'm currently going against the advice of my physician and therapist by not only lightening up on medicine, but also quitting therapy. Not because I think I'm getting better....because I'm not that foolish. More because I want to be able to handle this on my own, so that I don't have to rely on drugs and analysis for the rest of my life.

Eut's advice may be offensive to the people who are actually suffering from depression (well, I mean, except me....and Pure Metal....and probably several others. But we don't count, do we?), but that wasn't his entire target audience.

I just want Grampa Eut to take me fishin'! :D

thanks for the advice, but i wish i knew what that [thing i want to be] was. thats what this year out of uni is supposed to be for, to help me work out at least a clue but i'm sill none the wizer at all, unfortunatley :(
i just want to feel happy again :(

there's only one thing i do at the moment that does just that, make me happy, but i'm really lost as to what to do there (its a person btw) :confused:
Come shack up with me, dude. I'm a joy machine.

I just want Grampa Eut to take me fishin'! :D
hey! Eut's my e-grandpa!!!:mad:

thanks for the advice, but i wish i knew what that [thing i want to be] was. thats what this year out of uni is supposed to be for, to help me work out at least a clue but i'm sill none the wizer at all, unfortunatley :(
i just want to feel happy again :(

there's only one thing i do at the moment that does just that, make me happy, but i'm really lost as to what to do there (its a person btw) :confused:
Try out new things. You're bound to find at least one that makes you happy. When you find it pursue it. Make it a big part of your lifestyle.

As for the girl you like, I'm not the one to give you advice. I'm not good with relationships. It's something I'm currently working on.

hey! Eut's my e-grandpa!!!:mad:
Maybe this (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=9881099&postcount=12) will explain....

thanks for the advice, but i wish i knew what that [thing i want to be] was. thats what this year out of uni is supposed to be for, to help me work out at least a clue but i'm sill none the wizer at all, unfortunatley :(

i just want to feel happy again :(

there's only one thing i do at the moment that does just that, make me happy, but i'm really lost as to what to do there (its a person btw) :confused:
You're probably not going to like what I have to say about this, but I'm going to say it anyway. It's not unusual at your age to be confused about where you want to go with your life. I was the same way. What's needed is more information.

If you were accepted into a university, chances are you know a bit about research. Read up on different careers and lifestyles. Interview people in careers which interest you. Talk to people in all walks of life, especially those who have had several careers. Talk to people who have "failed" and then recovered from it. Your goal should be to find things that intrigue you. When you find something interesting, pursue it: talk to those who are or do what you find interesting.

There's more, but that should give you an idea or three. :)

And by the way ... she already likes you, you twit! :D

hey! Eut's my e-grandpa!!!:mad:
:D

Simonist']Maybe this (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=9881099&postcount=12) will explain....
yeah, i've seen it but still, he's my e-grandpa and since my e-mummy and e-brother and e-uncle have all deserted me I only have my grandpa Eut and hubby PM so i don't intend to share either of them

thanks for the advice, but i wish i knew what that [thing i want to be] was. thats what this year out of uni is supposed to be for, to help me work out at least a clue but i'm sill none the wizer at all, unfortunatley :(
i just want to feel happy again :(

there's only one thing i do at the moment that does just that, make me happy, but i'm really lost as to what to do there (its a person btw) :confused:

Does this someone who makes you happy really really like chocolate? If so, then you KNOW what you need to do. As for your education and choice of career...sometimes we don't know what we want to do at a young age. Then, out of nowhere, you stumble across a calling that you just know is what you are made to do. Education is never a waste. When, at a later time, you discover what your calling is, you can take the education you get now and build on it, as on a foundation.

I just want Grampa Eut to take me fishin'! :D
Heh! I don't "do" fishing real well ... never had the patience for it. But after I recover from this frakkin' operation, I intend to take up backpackiing again, and you're welcome to hike the Nantahala Forest with me if you like. :)

yeah, i've seen it but still, he's my e-grandpa and since my e-mummy and e-brother and e-uncle have all deserted me I only have my grandpa Eut and hubby PM so i don't intend to share either of them
LOL! Awwww! :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:

yeah, i've seen it but still, he's my e-grandpa and since my e-mummy and e-brother and e-uncle have all deserted me I only have my grandpa Eut and hubby PM so i don't intend to share either of them

Selfish girl! Sharing a grandpa adds to the fun. How many grandparents can resist a lineup of big eyed kids wanting nothing but love and attention. If you need an e-relative, I'll volunteer to be your e-meemaw (that's southern for grandma). I come with loads of good meemaw experience.

Edit: For those who are interested, I fish, gig, and can go crawfishing with the best of em.

thanks for the advice, but i wish i knew what that [thing i want to be] was. thats what this year out of uni is supposed to be for, to help me work out at least a clue but i'm sill none the wizer at all, unfortunatley :(
i just want to feel happy again :(
What things do you enjoy? Or what things did you enjoy before you got depression? What would you like to do in your lifetime? What matters to you in a job (I'm thinking of that thread)? Sometimes, when you really think about it, you find answers which are useful and very relevent even if they don't seem so at first.

It's easy to simply shrug and say you don't know or that you can't think of anything but when you look deeper, you'll probably find there are things you'd like to do. Perhaps they seem out of reach or distant fantasies or you don't think it wouldn't work, but you can try.

Sometimes things you enjoy and are good at, you forget about when thinking of careers or life choices. But they can be very much relevant. Skills don't have to be qualifications. Skills can include organisation skills, leadership skills, working well with people or technology, being creative, being diplomatic etc. And things that you enjoy, such as travelling or being with people or performing or helping others etc, can all be incorporated into jobs and in more way than one. The opportunities are endless, it's just that it can be hard to see them.

You can either think things over yourself or someone (me if you want) can go through your answers to the questions and help you figure out what they mean and spot things you may not see yourself. It might just be me but I always find actually making myself do something formal, like write down answers to questions, helps me find out what I'm actually thinking and finds things inside my mind I didn't know where there.

there's only one thing i do at the moment that does just that, make me happy, but i'm really lost as to what to do there (its a person btw) :confused:
*is in same situation and is also confused*
At the moment, I'm thinking that I should leave things how they are. For now anyway. Because however much I'd love to do something, there are so many things holding me back and it's all very complicated and could screw up various parts of my life due to mistakes in the past causing me to be in bad situations. And I hate that fact, but it is a fact as far as I can see, so I may as well be happy that I know such a wonderful person and be happy that they make me happy. And maybe when my life gets sorted out, I can do something.
Not that that is of any use to you. I just ramble a lot.
...
Yep, I am indeed a master of subtlety
...

Selfish girl! Sharing a grandpa adds to the fun. How many grandparents can resist a lineup of big eyed kids wanting nothing but love and attention. If you need an e-relative, I'll volunteer to be your e-meemaw (that's southern for grandma). I come with loads of good meemaw experience.
I sorry, i didn't mean to be selfish, it's just mummy Peechy doesn't love me anymore :(

and i'd love yo uto be my e-meemaw :fluffle:

Simonist']Maybe this (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=9881099&postcount=12) will explain....
Hey! You're welcome to hike along with me too! :D

<snip>So far as we know, this is the only chance we get at life. Screw this life up and you're shit outta luck! So what can you do to make people like you? Answer: nothing! People are either going to know you and like you, or know you and dislike you ( or, even worse, be indifferent to you ). So the first thing you have to decide is to find those select people who you want to like you.

The next step is to find out more about those people: hover around the margins of their group(s), discover what they talk about, discover what sorts of things they like to do, observe the way they behave, learn everything you can about them.

The next step is to research what you have discovered. If they like to talk about certain subjects, find out all you can about those subjects. Read about those subjects, study them, learn all you can.

The next step is to modify your behavior to be more in line with their behavior. This step seems to bother some people, why I don't really know. We modify our behavior all the time, so why not modify it consciously in a direction you choose? You're not changing your "self," you're simply modifying your own behavior. Hell, it's your behavior, do what you like with it!

Practice your chosen behaviors. Yes, it's going to feel awkward at first. Yes, you're going to feel like a total ass sometimes. Yes, there will be people who mock and make fun of your attempts to alter your behavior. But keep in mind why you're doing this: you're taking charge of your own life, moving it in a direction you have chosen. There will be those in your life who feel threatened by your new behavior, and those who will make fun of you. To hell with them! It's not their life, it's yours!

When you're satisfied that you've modified your behavior as well as you are able, then start hanging around the fringes of the group ( or a group similar to the group ) you have chosen. Practice your new behaviors. Try them out on others who hang around with this group. By observing their reactions, you will be able to tell how your behaviors are recieved and work on improving them accordingly.

This is where you will need to find a bit of courage and persistence. Nothing wothwhile comes easily. Get pissed off ... dig in ... simply refuse to give up! Keep in mind that this is your life, and how you have chosen to live it.

If you do your research thoroughly and don't give up, eventually the group you have chosen will come to accept you. Some of them will even admire your efforts and offer to help you in some way. After all, look at all the effort you have put into trying to become more like them; people can't help but be a bit flattered. :)<snip>

Sounds a bit like this handy guide on getting a life that I've written (http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Get_a_life). ;) (note: could be offensive to people who actually do have a life, in a way similar to what I have described) Not downright comparing you or your advice to what my article describes, but there are some parallells.

I sorry, i didn't mean to be selfish, it's just mummy Peechy doesn't love me anymore :(

and i'd love yo uto be my e-meemaw :fluffle:
Peechy doesn't love you anymore??? WTF, over??? :(

I sorry, i didn't mean to be selfish, it's just mummy Peechy doesn't love me anymore :(

and i'd love yo uto be my e-meemaw :fluffle:

OK, done deal. And don't ever think that a parent or grandparent's love for you is diminished when shared. If anything, it is increased, as each child is especially loved for their own special ways.

Peechy doesn't love you anymore??? WTF, over??? :(
she's never here, I havn't spoken to her in forever :(

Sounds a bit like this handy guide on getting a life that I've written (http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Get_a_life). ;) (note: could be offensive to people who actually do have a life, in a way similar to what I have described) Not downright comparing you or your advice to what my article describes, but there are some parallells.
Heh! Not exactly what I had in mind, but I see where you're coming from. :p

Heh! I don't "do" fishing real well ... never had the patience for it. But after I recover from this frakkin' operation, I intend to take up backpackiing again, and you're welcome to hike the Nantahala Forest with me if you like. :)

Woohoo! *straps on his boots*

Hey! You're welcome to hike along with me too! :D
Chouette. I'm there, dude.

I give oceans of credit to Eutrusca for addressing the issue of rampant self-negation and the perverse pleasure and even pride those who practice it seem to derive from it. Then, when some have offered advice and some have offered derision (and some, like me mix 'em both up real nice) they claim to not care about what we in General think. Well that's just a load of crap because there'd be no reason to post if you weren't at least trying to get some kind of rise from the GenPop.

That's why I always suggest that if the actual WORK involved in bettering one's situation doesn't appeal, then you've got no cause to gripe. The next suggestion usually involves the suck-firing of a shotgun in order to halt the incessant whining and save the taxpayers money. In short, sympathy and advice where it's needed or wanted, derision and scorn where it's deserved. That's judgement, you betcha, but hey, open yourself up to the public and judgement's exactly what you're gonna get.

Welcome to reality.

she's never here, I havn't spoken to her in forever :(
Well, being charitable, perhaps her "real life" doth intrude, mayhap. :)

Well, being charitable, perhaps her "real life" doth intrude, mayhap. :)
i know, i just miss her :(

So the first thing you have to decide is to find those select people who you want to like you.

The next step is to find out more about those people: hover around the margins of their group(s), discover what they talk about, discover what sorts of things they like to do, observe the way they behave, learn everything you can about them.

The next step is to research what you have discovered. If they like to talk about certain subjects, find out all you can about those subjects. Read about those subjects, study them, learn all you can.

The next step is to modify your behavior to be more in line with their behavior. This step seems to bother some people, why I don't really know. We modify our behavior all the time, so why not modify it consciously in a direction you choose? You're not changing your "self," you're simply modifying your own behavior. Hell, it's your behavior, do what you like with it!

Practice your chosen behaviors. Yes, it's going to feel awkward at first. Yes, you're going to feel like a total ass sometimes. Yes, there will be people who mock and make fun of your attempts to alter your behavior. But keep in mind why you're doing this: you're taking charge of your own life, moving it in a direction you have chosen. There will be those in your life who feel threatened by your new behavior, and those who will make fun of you. To hell with them! It's not their life, it's yours!

When you're satisfied that you've modified your behavior as well as you are able, then start hanging around the fringes of the group ( or a group similar to the group ) you have chosen. Practice your new behaviors. Try them out on others who hang around with this group. By observing their reactions, you will be able to tell how your behaviors are recieved and work on improving them accordingly.

This is where you will need to find a bit of courage and persistence. Nothing wothwhile comes easily. Get pissed off ... dig in ... simply refuse to give up! Keep in mind that this is your life, and how you have chosen to live it.

If you do your research thoroughly and don't give up, eventually the group you have chosen will come to accept you. Some of them will even admire your efforts and offer to help you in some way. After all, look at all the effort you have put into trying to become more like them; people can't help but be a bit flattered. :)

This is not an easy process, but it has one major advantage: it works! I know. I've used it several times in my own life, always to good effect.

Remember, the key is to make yourself what you want to become, i.e. make yourself interesting to a group you have chosen.

Good luck, and let me know if I can help! :)


So, what you are saying in essence is that people should be sheep, and be followers. I have a better idea.

Find out what YOU like, feel and believe. Take a hard look, and really soul search things. Sitting around and looking at people and saying "Ooooo, they are so cool, I wanna be like them." is a great way to make yourself miserable. After seeing things you would like to change (like you body), take steps to improve them. Join a gym, excersice more, improve you diet. But as far as trying to fit in with a group of people, you will never be happy that way. Trying finding a group of people that thinks and has the same interests you do.

So, what you are saying in essence is that people should be sheep, and be followers. I have a better idea.

Find out what YOU like, feel and believe. Take a hard look, and really soul search things. Sitting around and looking at people and saying "Ooooo, they are so cool, I wanna be like them." is a great way to make yourself miserable. After seeing things you would like to change (like you body), take steps to improve them. Join a gym, excersice more, improve you diet. But as far as trying to fit in with a group of people, you will never be happy that way. Trying finding a group of people that thinks and has the same interests you do.
Wow. Had you read even another PAGE into the thread, you would've known that he's not telling people to be a sheep.

Do you really think there's a difference between "trying to fit in with a group of people" and "trying to find a group of people that thinks and has the same interests as you"? No matter what you do, it takes effort and tolerance. I know of NOBODY whose friends are EXACTLY like them, therefore it takes EFFORT to try to fit with them in all aspects of friendship. Furthermore, if you did have friends that were exactly like you in thought and interests, how would you ever branch out and learn anything new?

There's more to friends than just what you have in common.

Eutrusca, while your advice is probably well-meant, I don't think it can help.

I'll use myself as an example. I am clinically depressed, multipolar, suicidal, borderline homicidal, as well as a myriad of other problems that don't really concern this thread. I've tried therapy, antidepressants, etc. but none of them have ever actually helped me. When I am "myself" so to speak, as the infamous advice runs, nobody wants to speak to me or have anything to do with me. On the other hand, when I am not "myself", I feel irrationally angry with myself and become most suicidal at those times.

I can't modify my behavior any more than I can modify my personality. I also can't talk to people (thus finding more friends), as my bitter sarcasm, cynicism, violence, pessimism, and iciness tend to put people off. I can't stand "social" events and will readily murder every single member of a "clique" without thinking.

I can recognize all of my problems but have found no solution to any of them. You suggested getting angry at something; I am angry about everything and it only contributes to the depression. This is all completely irrational, like me. However, I have no other real way to do anything about it.

As I can't approach people, one suggestion would be to let people approach me, but nobody does that. Besides, if they were to, my cold air would probably put them off as well. It's really the only way I can talk to people, because of the "polite conversation" they always make that stands for everything I have ever hated and despised.

Any suggestions?

Sounds a bit like this handy guide on getting a life that I've written (http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Get_a_life). ;) (note: could be offensive to people who actually do have a life, in a way similar to what I have described) Not downright comparing you or your advice to what my article describes, but there are some parallells.
Amen!

<snip>
I know it's probably wrong-er of me, after hearing all that, but I still really want to hang out with you....maybe even more-so now....

Simonist']I know it's probably wrong-er of me, after hearing all that, but I still really want to hang out with you....maybe even more-so now.......I really don't think you'd say that if you actually did know me IRL. Someone told me once... I apparently came across as the most egotistical, cold, distant, arrogant f***tard the person had ever met. I find it difficult to imagine how anyone could actually like that, although then again, I don't know too much about human psychology.

In short, it is wrong of you. Very. ;)

Find out what YOU like, feel and believe. Take a hard look, and really soul search things. Sitting around and looking at people and saying "Ooooo, they are so cool, I wanna be like them." is a great way to make yourself miserable. After seeing things you would like to change (like you body), take steps to improve them. Join a gym, excersice more, improve you diet. But as far as trying to fit in with a group of people, you will never be happy that way. Trying finding a group of people that thinks and has the same interests you do.
SIGH! I thought that's what I said. :rolleyes:

...I really don't think you'd say that if you actually did know me IRL. Someone told me once... I apparently came across as the most egotistical, cold, distant, arrogant f***tard the person had ever met. I find it difficult to imagine how anyone could actually like that, although then again, I don't know too much about human psychology.

In short, it is wrong of you. Very. ;)
If liking you is wrong, I don't want to be right. Today, at least.

Besides, beneath all this cuddly acceptance is probably a hardcore bitch who simply wants to manipulate her surroundings to fit people to her needs....and I could use a friend like you when that side comes through.

It hasn't yet, though.....

I'm clinically depressed, but I stopped seeing the shrink, because he made me feel like shit. Not to mention severely creeped me out... The idea of seeing a 60 year old man in a spandex scuba outfit would creep anyone out, da?
It does piss me off when people say 'I don't have friends, so I'm depressed'. Put yourself in my situation. Sure, I'm not a cutter, but I prick, and I used to burn. I can't act myself around other people, because I'll lose what friends I have. I've threatened to kill my best friend's little sister. (Who aught to be able to deal with shit by now... Ugh.) But I digress.
People who claim to be depressed, who say 'I'm too fat, I'm to skinny, I'm too poor'... Look at you life! You have access to a computer! With internet! That most likely isn't dial-up! (-imagines how slow NSForums would be- KISS, y'all! -huggles-) Let's see how lucky you are as well... You aren't a child slave, a prostitute... But I'm giving up now. I'm not a great person at this stuff.

Simonist']If liking you is wrong, I don't want to be right. Today, at least.
It is sometimes a very, very dangerous thing to be right. It is certainly a very difficult thing.

Simonist']Besides, beneath all this cuddly acceptance is probably a hardcore bitch who simply wants to manipulate her surroundings to fit people to her needs....and I could use a friend like you when that side comes through.There, that's better. I thought so. :p

Besides, we all are to some degree. In all likelihood, I'm a primarily bipolar anarchist who can use both of my 'sides' (manipulative eloquence vs. cynical wit) to manipulate people to help me get what I want, which is the destruction of everything they stand for. ^_^

I lead a very interesting life when it comes down to that.

Eutrusca, while your advice is probably well-meant, I don't think it can help.

I'll use myself as an example. I am clinically depressed, multipolar, suicidal, borderline homicidal, as well as a myriad of other problems that don't really concern this thread. I've tried therapy, antidepressants, etc. but none of them have ever actually helped me. When I am "myself" so to speak, as the infamous advice runs, nobody wants to speak to me or have anything to do with me. On the other hand, when I am not "myself", I feel irrationally angry with myself and become most suicidal at those times.

I can't modify my behavior any more than I can modify my personality. I also can't talk to people (thus finding more friends), as my bitter sarcasm, cynicism, violence, pessimism, and iciness tend to put people off. I can't stand "social" events and will readily murder every single member of a "clique" without thinking.

I can recognize all of my problems but have found no solution to any of them. You suggested getting angry at something; I am angry about everything and it only contributes to the depression. This is all completely irrational, like me. However, I have no other real way to do anything about it.

As I can't approach people, one suggestion would be to let people approach me, but nobody does that. Besides, if they were to, my cold air would probably put them off as well. It's really the only way I can talk to people, because of the "polite conversation" they always make that stands for everything I have ever hated and despised.

Any suggestions?
I wish I could say "yes," but since I'm not the sort of professional you have obviously already consulted, I am definitely not qualified. The only suggestions I can offer are to continue to seek professional help in the expectation that you'll eventually find the help you need, and to engage in strenuous physical exercise, something which always helped me. It may not help your psychological problems, but at least you'll feel better for being in good condition.

Eutrusca, while your advice is probably well-meant, I don't think it can help.

I'll use myself as an example. I am clinically depressed, multipolar, suicidal, borderline homicidal, as well as a myriad of other problems that don't really concern this thread. I've tried therapy, antidepressants, etc. but none of them have ever actually helped me. When I am "myself" so to speak, as the infamous advice runs, nobody wants to speak to me or have anything to do with me. On the other hand, when I am not "myself", I feel irrationally angry with myself and become most suicidal at those times.

I can't modify my behavior any more than I can modify my personality. I also can't talk to people (thus finding more friends), as my bitter sarcasm, cynicism, violence, pessimism, and iciness tend to put people off. I can't stand "social" events and will readily murder every single member of a "clique" without thinking.

I can recognize all of my problems but have found no solution to any of them. You suggested getting angry at something; I am angry about everything and it only contributes to the depression. This is all completely irrational, like me. However, I have no other real way to do anything about it.

As I can't approach people, one suggestion would be to let people approach me, but nobody does that. Besides, if they were to, my cold air would probably put them off as well. It's really the only way I can talk to people, because of the "polite conversation" they always make that stands for everything I have ever hated and despised.

Any suggestions?

I'm rapid cycler bipolar. I have a nature towards arrogance and superiority. I know I am smarter than most people and have to remind myself that that doesn't make me better than they are. I also have a quick temper and a hateful attitude when angered. I sleep very little and have trouble concentrating on one thing for long. Most people bore me for extended periods of time. So, what do I do to get along in society? I'm hardly a social butterfly, preferring staying close to home. I throw myself into what interests me (uses up all those awake hours) and work to excell at whatever I do. I keep interractions with others controlled and as short as possible. When faced with longer exposures (like at work) and I find myself losing my temper (and my self control), I escape by walking, reading, or creating a totally awesome totally useless spreadsheet or query (I'm fascinated with spreads, graphs, and analysis functions). In other words, I have learned what triggers my anti-social behavior and learned to avoid it, or to adapt my responses. I am well liked, in a position of responsibility at work and in the community, and known as a "get it done" person. If you are aware of your problems and you know what causes them, then you should be able to work at minimizing them through self control and, in some cases, medication.

It does piss me off when people say 'I don't have friends, so I'm depressed'. Put yourself in my situation. Sure, I'm not a cutter, but I prick, and I used to burn. I can't act myself around other people, because I'll lose what friends I have. I've threatened to kill my best friend's little sister. (Who aught to be able to deal with shit by now... Ugh.) But I digress.
Ha. I threatened to kill my parents, my little brother, and a teacher. I once broke my mother's ankle. I have stabbed myself several times, all of them with little effect. Once, when in a fight with my younger brother, I kneed him on the ground and slowly ran a pen across his face, drawing blood. I have physically assaulted people who I dislike. When a friend of my younger brother's hit me in the eyes with a snowball, I pushed him down a 20-foot hill (fortunately it was covered with snow so he was unhurt) and might have done more if there was not snow in my eyes.

Not surprisingly, all of my 'friends' never respond to my e-mails and are always busy when I want to talk to them. Likewise, people tend to draw away when I walk into the room and avoid me.

I've been there. ;)

Eutrusca...after reading your initial post, I was reminded of one thing. You might recognize it. :P




"The first rule of Fight Club is..."


Hehe!

I'm rapid cycler bipolar. I have a nature towards arrogance and superiority. I know I am smarter than most people and have to remind myself that that doesn't make me better than they are. I also have a quick temper and a hateful attitude when angered. I sleep very little and have trouble concentrating on one thing for long. Most people bore me for extended periods of time. So, what do I do to get along in society? I'm hardly a social butterfly, preferring staying close to home. I throw myself into what interests me (uses up all those awake hours) and work to excell at whatever I do. I keep interractions with others controlled and as short as possible. When faced with longer exposures (like at work) and I find myself losing my temper (and my self control), I escape by walking, reading, or creating a totally awesome totally useless spreadsheet or query (I'm fascinated with spreads, graphs, and analysis functions). In other words, I have learned what triggers my anti-social behavior and learned to avoid it, or to adapt my responses. I am well liked, in a position of responsibility at work and in the community, and known as a "get it done" person. If you are aware of your problems and you know what causes them, then you should be able to work at minimizing them through self control and, in some cases, medication.
Ah HA! That explains why you get so pissed at me about nothing! :D

If you are aware of your problems and you know what causes them, then you should be able to work at minimizing them through self control and, in some cases, medication.
I know what my problems are. I also know what causes them: Learning of anything to do with humans and their stupidity, credibility, lack of compassion, etc. Society in general, social events and conversation in particular. Environmental destruction. A lack of organization. A lack of B6 (which I'm currently rectifying). A lack of anyone sensible to talk to who actually has real ideas and who can understand me and my insane ones. And so on, and so forth.

Explain how I'm supposed to deal with those. Retire to a house alone at the top of the Himalaya Mountains and live out the rest of my life in silence?

Ah HA! That explains why you get so pissed at me about nothing! :D
Or maybe you're just easy to be mad at?

*reconsiders*

Man, that would be like getting mad at the old guys who come to the soup kitchen.....it would just feel wrong.

Sigh. I sincerely hope you're not referring to me, because as I have stated again and again and again ... when in doubt about the cause of your "depression," see your doctor!

If you want to visit a foreign country, say Russia, for example, you can consult a travel guide, visit a travel agent, and/or talk to someone who's been there. I recommend doing all three. The same applies to things in our lives about which we have questions: we can read up on it, we can consult a professional, and/or we can talk to others who have "been there."\

And by the way, Henry Kissinger isn't a psychologist.

What you're doing is still wrong. There's a reason it's a crime to impersonate a doctor or treat people without a license. Really honestly, you should stop this or at least get a doctorate in psychology first. And next to that, there seems to be a lot of bitching and flaming going on, so it's best to end things before they get worse and a mod needs to get involved.

And to my knowledge, Kissinger had a Phd. in psychology and so did his deputy. Whom wrote a quite nice fictional book called Blood Heat.

Explain how I'm supposed to deal with those. Retire to a house alone at the top of the Himalaya Mountains and live out the rest of my life in silence?
Um......come shack up with me and Pure Metal, should he choose to accept the offer?

I mean, the house is huge (2 stories and a finished basement).....you'd almost never HAVE to run into my boyfriend and myself. You could have the entire basement if you like -- you seem like the basement type. And we could move the laundry stuff upstairs.

Eutrusca...after reading your initial post, I was reminded of one thing. You might recognize it. :P

"The first rule of Fight Club is..."

Hehe!
Heh! Yeah, but I'm not real sure how that pertains to what we've been discussing here.

BTW ... "Sticking feathers up your ass does not make you a chicken," either! :D

What you're doing is still wrong. There's a reason it's a crime to impersonate a doctor or treat people without a license. Really honestly, you should stop this or at least get a doctorate in psychology first. And next to that, there seems to be a lot of bitching and flaming going on, so it's best to end things before they get worse and a mod needs to get involved.

And to my knowledge, Kissinger had a Phd. in psychology and so did his deputy. Whom wrote a quite nice fictional book called Blood Heat.
Actually he's not impersonating a doctor, nor is he claiming that his advice is any better than a doctor's, so that point just really doesn't hold much water.

Do you have a doctorate in psychology? If so, I'll gladly listen to you over Eut, whose opinion I hold in higher regard than most anybody else in the forums (which is amazing because we're SO different)....otherwise, meh....no. To correct you further....there was bitching and flaming early on, but Crazy Girl left because she wasn't contributing whatsoever. Now we're having a civilized discussion that you seem to be completely against. Therefore, I offer two suggestions:
1) Don't involve yourself any further, or
2) Report it to the mods if you're so ABSOLUTELY offended by it.

Otherwise, you're not in a position to tell us to "end things before they get worse", are you?

Simonist']Um......come shack up with me and Pure Metal, should he choose to accept the offer?

I mean, the house is huge (2 stories and a finished basement).....you'd almost never HAVE to run into my boyfriend and myself. You could have the entire basement if you like -- you seem like the basement type. And we could move the laundry stuff upstairs.
Hmmm... I always felt more like an "attic type" myself...

Anyway, it does actually sound good—at least three NSers under the same roof. I wonder if they'll be concerned about UN multiing. :p

Simonist']Or maybe you're just easy to be mad at?

*reconsiders*

Man, that would be like getting mad at the old guys who come to the soup kitchen.....it would just feel wrong.
Heh! Yeah ... what ... EVER! :D

Heh! Yeah, but I'm not real sure how that pertains to what we've been discussing here.

BTW ... "Sticking feathers up your ass does not make you a chicken," either! :D

Oh ho...you're making me angry... What say you and I take it out back? Ya know where we represent our respective age/social circles and duke it out? No guns, no weapons, just good old fightin'?

;)

As for sticking feathers up your ass...of course it doesn't make you a chicken. It just makes you a wannabe avian-flu carrier!

Oh ho...you're making me angry... What say you and I take it out back? Ya know where we represent our respective age/social circles and duke it out? No guns, no weapons, just good old fightin'?

As for sticking feathers up your ass...of course it doesn't make you a chicken. It just makes you a wannabe avian-flu carrier!
LOL! Perhaps so. :D

As to fighting ... any active fiver-year-old could probably take me right now. It's not been three weeks since my operation yet, and I'm seriously weaker than normal. Give me 'till the end of December, or better yet, April of '06, after I've had time to rebuild. :)

I know what my problems are. I also know what causes them: Learning of anything to do with humans and their stupidity, credibility, lack of compassion, etc. Society in general, social events and conversation in particular. Environmental destruction. A lack of organization. A lack of B6 (which I'm currently rectifying). A lack of anyone sensible to talk to who actually has real ideas and who can understand me and my insane ones. And so on, and so forth.

Explain how I'm supposed to deal with those. Retire to a house alone at the top of the Himalaya Mountains and live out the rest of my life in silence?

That's one option, but not one I would suggest. I'm sure you are aware that the problems you have need to be treated by a professional. They aren't something that you can handle by yourself. You can alleviate some of your problems by adjusting your behavior and by working at viewing situations or life in general from different perspectives. When it gets to be too much, I go into the bathroom and kick the living crap out of the trash basket. Afterwards, having to pick up all those dirty tissues and cotton swabs makes me think twice about losing control again. It's also in me to love animals. My home is filled with pets. I find that one of the most calming activities is to care for and love them. They love me and want to please me no matter who or what I am. This may not be an option for you, but, if you don't think you would take your anger out on an animal, it's a suggestion.

Not all people are stupid, gullible, or worthless. To find all the traits that you find admirable in one person would be extremely rare. But, you can appreciate different traits in different people and build friendships on that.

First, though, you have to find help and work on getting your violent episodes under control. Until you accomplish that, even people who genuinely like you, will be afraid of you.

Ah HA! That explains why you get so pissed at me about nothing! :D

Nah, you usually have it coming. Sometimes I just have to be that little voice that says what you don't want to hear. Good thing I'm so loveable so you don't end up hating me.

LOL! Perhaps so. :D

As to fighting ... any active fiver-year-old could probably take me right now. It's not been three weeks since my operation yet, and I'm seriously weaker than normal. Give me 'till the end of December, or better yet, April of '06, after I've had time to rebuild. :)

Take your time, but leave the cane behind when you're ready! LOL.

In the meantime, I'll just go be the ass that I'm paid to be at work (manager). I love my job... :D

Hmmm... I always felt more like an "attic type" myself...

Anyway, it does actually sound good—at least three NSers under the same roof. I wonder if they'll be concerned about UN multiing. :p
Oooh, geez, I had NOT considered that.

Well, to my credit, I can just access NS from my PSP, which should pick up from a different ISP, but I really wouldn't want it to come to that.

At least I'm no longer regional Delegate and therefore don't have to freak about losing my UN membership.

That's one option, but not one I would suggest. I'm sure you are aware that the problems you have need to be treated by a professional. Been there, done that. Didn't help. One "professional" thought I was just normal for my age. Another suggested I was suffering from mild depression. Another one was of the opinion that I had severe bipolar disorder brought on by a lack of <insert name of food/chemical here>. Needless to say, with four or five conflicting opinions and instructions, it didn't do much good.

They aren't something that you can handle by yourself. You can alleviate some of your problems by adjusting your behavior and by working at viewing situations or life in general from different perspectives. When it gets to be too much, I go into the bathroom and kick the living crap out of the trash basket. Afterwards, having to pick up all those dirty tissues and cotton swabs makes me think twice about losing control again. It's also in me to love animals. My home is filled with pets. I find that one of the most calming activities is to care for and love them. They love me and want to please me no matter who or what I am. This may not be an option for you, but, if you don't think you would take your anger out on an animal, it's a suggestion. What if you can't care for or love anything? I seem to have that problem.

Not all people are stupid, gullible, or worthless. To find all the traits that you find admirable in one person would be extremely rare. But, you can appreciate different traits in different people and build friendships on that. Ok. I just have to find some people like that and I'm all set. :-/

First, though, you have to find help and work on getting your violent episodes under control. Until you accomplish that, even people who genuinely like you, will be afraid of you.
That is one reason why I started taking several martial arts, as well as fencing classes. Of course, there's always the risk that I will seriously injure someone. It's even happened a couple of times before.

Simonist']Oooh, geez, I had NOT considered that.

Well, to my credit, I can just access NS from my PSP, which should pick up from a different ISP, but I really wouldn't want it to come to that.

At least I'm no longer regional Delegate and therefore don't have to freak about losing my UN membership.
It's different computers anyway, as I take my laptop everywhere, so it shouldn't be too much of a problem. PM, on the other hand, is a regional UN delegate (IIRC) or was, making it a difficulty.

At least none of us are defenders or region crashers. ^_^

Anyway, besides the obvious problems (the house is in the Midwest and I'm studying in the Northeast while PM is somewhere in England), it ought to work out fine. :D

And to pertain to the topic at hand...

Depression is not a good thing.... (No shit...)

Anger is good, when used properly. For a good illustration of this, look at the following quote from the movie Gladiator:

"My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, Commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next."

As you see here, instead of getting depressed about his family having been killed and moping about in fear, this man stood up and said "Damn you!" Now I know that most people claiming to be "in depression" won't normally have an issue like this, but ignore that for the moment.

Just get angry, for the right reasons.

It's different computers anyway, as I take my laptop everywhere, so it shouldn't be too much of a problem. PM, on the other hand, is a regional UN delegate (IIRC) or was, making it a difficulty.

At least none of us are defenders or region crashers. ^_^

Anyway, besides the obvious problems (the house is in the Midwest and I'm studying in the Northeast while PM is somewhere in England), it ought to work out fine. :D
Actually the house ISN'T in the Midwest....because as soon as the boyfriend and I get married, we're moving OUT to the house. It's in Virginia, beautiful area, sits upon 13.6 acres. It actually has a guest house, maybe you could live there if you want to. I hear it has a loft.

As for PM.....well, he never actually took up the offer, so for all I know you can just be the creepy "uncle" in the shed.

Simonist']Actually the house ISN'T in the Midwest....because as soon as the boyfriend and I get married, we're moving OUT to the house. It's in Virginia, beautiful area, sits upon 13.6 acres. It actually has a guest house, maybe you could live there if you want to. I hear it has a loft.

As for PM.....well, he never actually took up the offer, so for all I know you can just be the creepy "uncle" in the shed.
Virginia. Ah, I know that area. I've been to the South a bit more than was good for me, I think. In the future I'll stick to the North.

Anyway, the "uncle"...wouldn't I be a bit young for an "uncle"? Maybe the clinically insane younger brother who you didn't have the money to send to an insane asylum and thus are stuck with, and who is invariably in possession of a dangerous secret regarding nuclear war... ...or something like that? ;)

Czardas: Been there, done that. Didn't help. One "professional" thought I was just normal for my age. Another suggested I was suffering from mild depression. Another one was of the opinion that I had severe bipolar disorder brought on by a lack of <insert name of food/chemical here>. Needless to say, with four or five conflicting opinions and instructions, it didn't do much good.

I think we all know that extreme anger with violent tendancies is not normal for any age. Bipolar disorder is a possibility. I don't know if sensitivity to food/chemicals can have such an extreme influence on behavior, but I know it can have some affect. When you go shopping for a new pair of jeans, do you try on 3 or 4 pair, and if none of them suit you decide that all jeans are wrong for you and just run naked? Then don't judge the competency of all health care professionals by just a few. Keep looking until you find one that recognizes your problem and who can lead you to recognize it.

What if you can't care for or love anything? I seem to have that problem. If you don't mind my asking, how old are you? Love is a misunderstood and misinterpreted emotion. It varies from person to person. I care about humanity in general, but I truly only love a few people. Honestly, it took becoming a parent to recognize the difference.

Ok. I just have to find some people like that and I'm all set. :-/ As AC/DC would say "Hell's bells!" I didn't say it would be easy or that you wouldn't have to work at it. You only need to put in as much effort as it is worth to you.

That is one reason why I started taking several martial arts, as well as fencing classes. Of course, there's always the risk that I will seriously injure someone. It's even happened a couple of times before. Sometimes accidents happen and people get hurt in sports. But, if you injured them on purpose, then you need to examine yourself.

Virginia. Ah, I know that area. I've been to the South a bit more than was good for me, I think. In the future I'll stick to the North.

Anyway, the "uncle"...wouldn't I be a bit young for an "uncle"? Maybe the clinically insane younger brother who you didn't have the money to send to an insane asylum and thus are stuck with, and who is invariably in possession of a dangerous secret regarding nuclear war... ...or something like that? ;)
I dunno, how young are you? Jon and I aren't hitching up for a few years anyway.....and besides, I'm just trying to help, man. Maybe if you had 13 acres in which to avoid humanity, and your own tiny house to live in, you'd be in a much happier place.....

I'd even leave soup at your door on chilly winter evenings.

Simonist']I dunno, how young are you? Jon and I aren't hitching up for a few years anyway.....and besides, I'm just trying to help, man. Maybe if you had 13 acres in which to avoid humanity, and your own tiny house to live in, you'd be in a much happier place.....

I'd even leave soup at your door on chilly winter evenings.
Heck, i'll live in a little house if it gets me soup.

Heck, i'll live in a little house if it gets me soup.
Maybe at this point I should just see exactly how many NSers want to live with me....then when we get in arguments on the forums, we can have food fights and stuff. You fight me online, I TP your bathroom.....

Simonist']Maybe at this point I should just see exactly how many NSers want to live with me....then when we get in arguments on the forums, we can have food fights and stuff. You fight me online, I TP your bathroom.....
You don't even need to live with me (unless you want to of course;) :eek: ). I'm just in it for the soup. (sounds appatizing, I haven't eaten in almost 24 hours. Hurray for poor starving college students!)

Anyways, hi.

I think we all know that extreme anger with violent tendancies is not normal for any age. Bipolar disorder is a possibility. I don't know if sensitivity to food/chemicals can have such an extreme influence on behavior, but I know it can have some affect. When you go shopping for a new pair of jeans, do you try on 3 or 4 pair, and if none of them suit you decide that all jeans are wrong for you and just run naked? Then don't judge the competency of all health care professionals by just a few. Keep looking until you find one that recognizes your problem and who can lead you to recognize it.I'll certainly think about that.

If you don't mind my asking, how old are you? Love is a misunderstood and misinterpreted emotion. It varies from person to person. I care about humanity in general, but I truly only love a few people. Honestly, it took becoming a parent to recognize the difference.Let's just say younger than 19. At the same approximate age as that which many people are beginning to find serious relationships. I don't even particularly feel anything for my parents, siblings, relatives, etc. I can be extremely sadistic and feel no compassion at all as a rule.

As AC/DC would say "Hell's bells!" I didn't say it would be easy or that you wouldn't have to work at it. You only need to put in as much effort as it is worth to you. Befriending a race that utterly disgusts me isn't worth much, I'm afraid. I classify most humans as disagreeable/distasteful animals along with rats, wasps, and cockroaches.

Sometimes accidents happen and people get hurt in sports. But, if you injured them on purpose, then you need to examine yourself.
No, I'm fairly sure they were accidents...

You don't even need to live with me (unless you want to of course;) :eek: ). I'm just in it for the soup. (sounds appatizing, I haven't eaten in almost 24 hours. Hurray for poor starving college students!)

Anyways, hi.
Speaking of soup, I'm out. I have a lunch appointment (Hurray for non-poor, eating college students! Sorry to rub it in) at a sushi bar and I definitely don't want to be late.

I'll be back in a few hours, maybe.

Simonist']I dunno, how young are you? Jon and I aren't hitching up for a few years anyway.....and besides, I'm just trying to help, man. Maybe if you had 13 acres in which to avoid humanity, and your own tiny house to live in, you'd be in a much happier place.....Anywhere apart from humanity (with internet access) would be a happier place IMO. If they could find a way to wire Luna, I'd go there.

Simonist']I'd even leave soup at your door on chilly winter evenings.
In return I could become your eternally devoted slave, but I don't think that's going to happen anytime soon. :D I hope you don't mind if I forget the rent occasionally. ^_^

Point of curiosity, why was the title changed?

Edit: At lunch now, PSP will be off. Back in a bit.

<snip>Learning of anything to do with humans and their stupidity, credibility, lack of compassion, etc. Society in general, social events and conversation in particular. Environmental destruction. A lack of organization. A lack of B6 (which I'm currently rectifying). A lack of anyone sensible to talk to who actually has real ideas and who can understand me and my insane ones. And so on, and so forth.<snip>Seems overall similar to the way it is for me, except that, while I hate humanity, society in general and especially social norms and the people (most) who mindlessly and devotedly follow them and shun everyone who doesn't, I seldom get especially angry.

I used to be able to get quite angry, and during one period also quite violent, but that was some years ago, before the most intense period of depression I have been through. Now, I have just been through a(nother) period of depression where I slowly became emotionally numb. I mostly recovered from the emotional numbness during last summer, but still have hard getting angry at times. (it does happen however, as I have recovered that ability since I made a thread about it nearly half a year ago) I have noticed that I am getting increasingly angry however, and combined with my slowly but constantly growing bitterness against humanity, society and people in general, my situation seems to get increasingly similar to yours, apart from that people hardly fear me in any way; a lot of people simply despise, hate, or see me as: a retard, genius, psycho, weirdo or freaky nerd, for example.

I do have three friends of which I meet one about once to twice a month or so, however. And a few "half-friends" at the school I go to, which luckily enough is a school full of nerds of which many have atleast something in common with me.

About self-control:

I have improved mine a lot during the last year. Probably due to my varyingly depressing deep thinking and philosophising, during which I have, among countless other things, gained a lot of understanding about emotions, how they are triggered, and various other things. I also changed my own emotional response to ultimately get rid of feelings of guilt, by destroying the thought patterns that trigger it. Now I never feel it. (note that this does not prevent me from feeling sympathy. sympathy and guilt are separate. feeling guilt is nothing more than useless, irrational, and utterly stupid emotional self-harm)

I suggest that you try to analyze how your emotions work, what triggers what and how you can consciously affect different things. Try to gain an understanding of your mind and every aspect of it. It will take time; I suspect I will never fully understand all the workings of my mind, but I am atleast getting closer, and am already far closer than most people I know. Your brain is a machine; learn how to operate it as far as you can, using the limited functionality of the part of it that is your conscious mind.

i worry about you sometimes, i think i should be the one sending you chocolate

Oh, oh, send me chocolate. I'm not clinically depressed, but I suck at softball. That's gotta earn me something. It's certainly not impressing the girls ;-)

[ Hands you a cold one. ] There! Your happiness is complete! :D
Cheers, just what I needed on this lovely Friday night after a long weeks work :cool:

Simonist']Point of curiosity, why was the title changed?
http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=452461

Cheers, just what I needed on this lovely Friday night after a long weeks work :cool:
I've always loved a good beer or three, especially when I'm hot and tired and really thirsty. Nothing quite like a tall, cold beer to really quench yer thirst, sez I. :D

Nothing quite like a tall, cold beer to really quench yer thirst, sez I. :D
How about two?

It's different computers anyway, as I take my laptop everywhere, so it shouldn't be too much of a problem. PM, on the other hand, is a regional UN delegate (IIRC) or was, making it a difficulty.

nope, i'm not even a UN member... so lets get this shindig started! party at our place! :p

-snip-
zooke! you quoted AC/DC! you rock!! :fluffle: :D

Simonist']Point of curiosity, why was the title changed?

Edit: At lunch now, PSP will be off. Back in a bit.
rude words ok in posts, not in thread titles. kiddies might be watching or some such nonsense


What things do you enjoy? Or what things did you enjoy before you got depression? What would you like to do in your lifetime? What matters to you in a job (I'm thinking of that thread)? Sometimes, when you really think about it, you find answers which are useful and very relevent even if they don't seem so at first.

It's easy to simply shrug and say you don't know or that you can't think of anything but when you look deeper, you'll probably find there are things you'd like to do. Perhaps they seem out of reach or distant fantasies or you don't think it wouldn't work, but you can try.

well there are some things i enjoy and am good enough at that i could probably make a career out of, but they do very much seem distant and unreachable. right now i'm stuck here and there's really not much i can do about it for at least a few months. following that, i'd be at a loss as to where to go or what to do to follow that path... but i'd at least have the option to.

things aren't as bleak as i made them out to be - i've just had a bad day is all :(
somehow i always manage to turn these sorts of threads into 'PM's misery hour' :p :headbang:

You can either think things over yourself or someone (me if you want) can go through your answers to the questions and help you figure out what they mean and spot things you may not see yourself. It might just be me but I always find actually making myself do something formal, like write down answers to questions, helps me find out what I'm actually thinking and finds things inside my mind I didn't know where there.
why thank you - you already do so much to help me out :)
i'm sure in time this sort of discussion would be most useful (right now i have a conference to run :eek: )

*is in same situation and is also confused*
At the moment, I'm thinking that I should leave things how they are. For now anyway. Because however much I'd love to do something, there are so many things holding me back and it's all very complicated and could screw up various parts of my life due to mistakes in the past causing me to be in bad situations. And I hate that fact, but it is a fact as far as I can see, so I may as well be happy that I know such a wonderful person and be happy that they make me happy. And maybe when my life gets sorted out, I can do something.
Not that that is of any use to you. I just ramble a lot.
...
Yep, I am indeed a master of subtlety
...
subtle to the last ;)
maybe i can help you "get your life sorted". i don't pretend to have all, or any, of the answers, but i'd be more than happy to help where i can :)
and don't worry i will totally respect what you say in this matter... but i can still be 'subtle' about my feelings :P

I used to be upset at life and get sad. But sadness was tiring and boring and generally unpleasant, so I decided to stop. Also, reality refused to work like I wanted it to, so I decided to just accept it the way it was. Also, I realised I had to socialise more. The Internet addiction still needs fixing though.

I think learning to control one's own emotions is a good thing - if your going to be unhappy, be unhappy with your reactions to situations, not the situations themselves.

/not foolproof
//not guaranteed; don't sue me

nope, i'm not even a UN member... so lets get this shindig started! party at our place! :p
Ok, cool! Now we just have to wait for Simonist to buy it and we're all set! ;) (Alternately I could just go to Britain and convince everyone else to do the same thing, and we could hole up in an unused bomb shelter or something...)

rude words ok in posts, not in thread titles. kiddies might be watching or some such nonsense
That's ridiculous. Kids already know so many more bad words, and if their parents can't control 6- to 9-year-olds who might be reading this forum it's their problem, not ours. :headbang:

somehow i always manage to turn these sorts of threads into 'PM's misery hour'I know what you mean....

Ok, cool! Now we just have to wait for Simonist to buy it and we're all set! ;) (Alternately I could just go to Britain and convince everyone else to do the same thing, and we could hole up in an unused bomb shelter or something...)
i'm still renting a room at uni, so we could all shack up at my student house :D
plenty of drugs and..... well, actually thats about everything there is to my house :p
so we'll all be sharing one bed, but we'll be to blitzed to notice :P


That's ridiculous. Kids already know so many more bad words, and if their parents can't control 6- to 9-year-olds who might be reading this forum it's their problem, not ours. :headbang:
well its that the thread titles appear on nationstates' nation pages, and that complicates things apparently (schools use NS but not the forums, and things like that)


I know what you mean....
meh, i can't help myself :P

I've always loved a good beer or three, especially when I'm hot and tired and really thirsty. Nothing quite like a tall, cold beer to really quench yer thirst, sez I. :D
Indeed! Beer is sorely underrated, and my personal theory about everything, is that this is the main cause of human misery.

And a bit of random useless advice for the depressed ones out there: Dress sharply, head out your front door, tour a bunch of pubs, and get absolutely wasted.

It'll leave you ruined, it'll make you sick. But you'll be too busy to worry about being depressed for a day or two :cool:

i'm still renting a room at uni, so we could all shack up at my student house :D
plenty of drugs and..... well, actually thats about everything there is to my house :p
so we'll all be sharing one bed, but we'll be to blitzed to notice :PI wouldn't care anyway, as I'd be spending all night playing NS.

On that note I just noticed I have 7000 posts.... Sad. ;)


well its that the thread titles appear on nationstates' nation pages, and that complicates things apparently (schools use NS but not the forums, and things like that)

Oh, that would explain it.

I wouldn't care anyway, as I'd be spending all night playing NS.

On that note I just noticed I have 7000 posts.... Sad. ;)

hey i'm using the computer all night to look up por..... err.... recipies, yeah, that. ;)

and 7k posts sad? wait till you get to 8.5k, now that's sad :P

hey i'm using the computer all night to look up por..... err.... recipies, yeah, that. ;)

and 7k posts sad? wait till you get to 8.5k, now that's sad :P
I probably have around 8k with all of my nations, so I've been there. Although 10k will be worse, in all likelihood.

Nice one Eutrusca.

Oh, oh, send me chocolate. I'm not clinically depressed, but I suck at softball. That's gotta earn me something. It's certainly not impressing the girls ;-)
lol, maybe when i have some money

lol, maybe when i have some money

Yay! I just hurt my back playing dodgeball so I could use it.

Nice one Eutrusca.
Why thank you, Harlesburg! Isn't this the second compliment you've paid me in as many days? :eek:

Best cool it, dude. People will think we've got a thang goin' on! Heh! :D

i'm still renting a room at uni, so we could all shack up at my student house :D
plenty of drugs and..... well, actually thats about everything there is to my house :p
so we'll all be sharing one bed, but we'll be to blitzed to notice :P
No matter how blitzed I may be, I don't know if I could honestly bring myself to share a bed with the TWO of you.....my main concern is that, in the dark of the night, someone's hand would grab someones bum (mine, most likely) and I won't know who to slap the hell out of.

Negative situation, friends....

Simonist']No matter how blitzed I may be, I don't know if I could honestly bring myself to share a bed with the TWO of you.....my main concern is that, in the dark of the night, someone's hand would grab someones bum (mine, most likely) and I won't know who to slap the hell out of.

Negative situation, friends....
ROFL! Hell, bro ... just slap 'em all and let God make the one who did it hurt the most! :D

ROFL! Hell, bro ... just slap 'em all and let God make the one who did it hurt the most! :D
That is probably the most AWESOME advice I've ever gotten! You can be damn sure I'm gonna do it, too....to everybody....and when they say "What the hell, dude?!" I'll put on an innocent face and say "Eutrusca told me I could!"

IRL, too. Suddenly most of my friends will be cursing your NS name, not even knowing who you are.

Simonist']That is probably the most AWESOME advice I've ever gotten! You can be damn sure I'm gonna do it, too....to everybody....and when they say "What the hell, dude?!" I'll put on an innocent face and say "Eutrusca told me I could!"

IRL, too. Suddenly most of my friends will be cursing your NS name, not even knowing who you are.
Hahahahaha! Way kewl, dood! :D

( That's awesome! Kudos! ) :D

But what if you don't know what to do? If all your options seem hopeless? If life seems to be nothing but this vast void enclosing in on you everytime you try to breathe?

If you have sought help and still are in the same position you were before?

Not everyone agrees with the use of medications. Anti-depressents and anti-psychotics are trial and error pills, which also means there will be some unpleasent side-effects during the process of trying to find the one which works for you.

Not only that, but most of them have insomnia as a side-effect. So what happens when you already cannot sleep and then take pills which increase your chances of having difficulty sleeping?

Also, what if it is years of pain that you are trying to unravel and process? Depression is not easily going to go away, especially if it is double depression or dystemia. In order to help treat depression, besides the chemical imbalance, you need to find the causes of the depression using the pyscho, socio, bio model......which can be increasingly difficult.

One of the primary complaints of those who refer to themselves as "depressed" ( especially on here for some reason ) is that "people ( or girls, or boys ) don't like me." GUESS WHAT! People don't like you because they don't know you! And beyond that, YOU don't know you!

You need to get pissed off about that too! Get so pissed off that you become willing to DO something about it.
It's not that they don't like me; or even that I don't like me; it's that I don't like them very much.

Why thank you, Harlesburg! Isn't this the second compliment you've paid me in as many days? :eek:

Best cool it, dude. People will think we've got a thang goin' on! Heh! :D
I am trying to be friendly to everyone.
*Shifty eyes*

Actually i have been rather bubblely/bubbly(er...)

Hmm, Yeut, I wonder what provoked this thread? Hrmmm? HRMMM?

I wasn't gonna post, but, y'know... I'm at 6,700 posts now :P

Perhaps all of these fat people should go and get some exercise instead of sitting behind a computer all day...

Perhaps all of these fat people should go and get some exercise instead of sitting behind a computer all day...

Some of us do, and still stay fat.

The only thing that is working for me is my starvation diet. Too bad it isn't shrinking my ass, which makes me look so much fatter.

Some of us do, and still stay fat.

The only thing that is working for me is my starvation diet. Too bad it isn't shrinking my ass, which makes me look so much fatter.
No offence. Seriously. But I have a hard time you're doing shit if you're on NSG.

Take up Boxing & give up your internet connection. And if your arse if a problem, then take up some sort of sport where you'll get it kicked 'till it's sore. So much harder to sit like that