NationStates Jolt Archive

At school today there was a new student in my trig class who was dressed very oddly to say the least. With today being Halloween and most people wearing their costumes to school I decided to ask her what she was dressed up as. The conversation went something like this,

Me: So, what are you supposed to be?
Her: Excuse me?
Me: You know, for Halloween. Your costume is interesting.
Her: Its not a costume.

:(

Share your experiences where you say the wrong thing and the outcome is interesting and worthy of a post in my glorious thread.

One of my housemates, who I don't know as well as the others, is Catholic, a fact which I forgot about one time in her room when I said "Ooh, is that a tarot card?" at something card-sized which I couldn't see properly mounted on the wall with blu-tac on the other side of the room. I immediately noticed it was the Lord.

Whoops.

I work in a hospital/lab section and we have these agents of various companies try to sell us their products. I was typing up a report and this lady came in. But she did not look like a lady. She had a mustache and some facial hair. I was like "Good Morning Sir".. "Im a woman"... *Blush* "Sorry ma'am"

I have kinda a funny one but I didn't say it, my grandpa did. It is more like a misuse of words.

anyway I was newly engaged to my husband and decided to ask my grandpa for advice on a long marriage (at the time he and my grandma had been married for 55 years)

He said "always make sure you keep the house clean, and when you wash the dishes make sure you rinse all the soap off or your husband might get gonorrhea"
we all laughed (he meant diarrhea)

and then my grandma says "if he shows up with gonorrhea and blames it on your housekeeping, you have my permission to shoot him" and then she offered to buy me a shot gun.

yeah, that is my family. can't be around them very long at all before something like this happens.

Funny, Lights Blessing, I had the opposite experience with a police officer.

Him: Miss, you need to move your car --
Me: Hmm? *turn around*
Him: Oh,... sorry, son.

(At the time, I had shoulder-length hair that, if you saw me from behind, concealed the fact that I have a full beard and moustache.)

Funny, Lights Blessing, I had the opposite experience with a police officer.

Him: Miss, you need to move your car --
Me: Hmm? *turn around*
Him: Oh,... sorry, son.

(At the time, I had shoulder-length hair that, if you saw me from behind, concealed the fact that I have a full beard and moustache.)

You looked like Jesus!

i've given up my seat on the bus to what i thought was a pregnant woman... turned out to just be a very fat man :eek:

i've given up my seat on the bus to what i thought was a pregnant woman... turned out to just be a very fat man :eek:

:eek: :eek:

Funny, Lights Blessing, I had the opposite experience with a police officer.

Him: Miss, you need to move your car --
Me: Hmm? *turn around*
Him: Oh,... sorry, son.

(At the time, I had shoulder-length hair that, if you saw me from behind, concealed the fact that I have a full beard and moustache.)
hmmm i have shoulder-length hair too, but never had anything like that... must be my oh-so masculine physique :D :p

On camp me and a bunch of friends were talking with one of the leaders who ahd an accent that I couldn't quite place... so I opened my stupid mouth:

Me "So, are you from Australia or New Zealand?"
Leader "Neither. I'm from South Africa."
Me "Ah. Right *Blush, feel incredibly embarrased"
All my friends "Yeh, so... uum..."

Oooh how I wish I'd just vanished - and I still do whenever I think of that moment. But bless that leader she's the niceset person in the world and didn't say anything about it for the whole camp. But ooooh the shame.


Hey, what can I say? South Africans sound, to me, just like antipodeans. The likeness is there, I promise.


Oh and another one - staying at my friends house for her birthday, setting up a gazebo thing in her garden for the party, talking to her dad.

Me "Is there a mallet around?"
Dad "Yeh we've got one handy..."
M "For malleting small children if they get too close *laughing*"
D "No. I don't approve of hitting children. My parents used to beat me when I was young."

Oh. My. Good. God. I'm sure you can imagine what I was like - this was the first time I'd ever stayed there, wanting to make a good impression you know, so I could go there again, and what do I do? Make a joke about malleting children to a guy whos parents used to beat him. Sometimes I should really just not talk. Infact most of the time I think would probably be the best bet.

On camp me and a bunch of friends were talking with one of the leaders who ahd an accent that I couldn't quite place... so I opened my stupid mouth:

Me "So, are you from Australia or New Zealand?"
Leader "Neither. I'm from South Africa."
Me "Ah. Right *Blush, feel incredibly embarrased"
All my friends "Yeh, so... uum..."

Oooh how I wish I'd just vanished - and I still do whenever I think of that moment. But bless that leader she's the niceset person in the world and didn't say anything about it for the whole camp. But ooooh the shame.


Hey, what can I say? South Africans sound, to me, just like antipodeans. The likeness is there, I promise.
.If she was from Durban, the msitake is understandable.

If she was from Durban, the msitake is understandable.

I seriously hope so, otherwise I'll just have to live with the burning shame. WHat's so special about Durban?

These are threads far too rare... We should make more...:p

*big sigh*

My last boyfriend invited me over to meet his mother and his sister. After sitting in a darkened living room discussing how his mother could no longer take the dog out on walks except in the fenced in backyard, because she got lost, I became a little annoyed at the fact that this woman would seem to pointedly avoid looking at me when I spoke, even though she'd face her children.

At a moment that my boyfriend and I had alone, I mentioned how insensitive it was.....and he THEN chose to inform me that his mother was blind.
Kind of something you might want to tell a girl beforehand......

There was also the time, with the same boy, that we were talking about his mum, and one of my friends asked "So she lives alone?" He replied that no, she lives with his sister....so my friend says "Well where the fuck is your dad if your sister has to take care of you mom?" He very quietly pointed out that his father had died when he was 12.
Glad THAT one wasn't me......

We broke up because of communication issues, consequently....

i've given up my seat on the bus to what i thought was a pregnant woman... turned out to just be a very fat man :eek:

Wasn't that an episode of Mad About You?

I have never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, in my whole life, said something embarrassing like this to anybody, because I am absolutely perfect and never make any mistakes whatsoever. :)

I have never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, in my whole life, said something embarrassing like this to anybody, because I am absolutely perfect and never make any mistakes whatsoever. :)
Dude, I can smell even a mild lie from a mile off, and wherever you are right now, you're reeking.

Weren't you one of the VERY FIRST ones to call me a boy? Yeah. Yeah, pretty sure that was you.

Simonist']Dude, I can smell even a mild lie from a mile off, and wherever you are right now, you're reeking.

Weren't you one of the VERY FIRST ones to call me a boy? Yeah. Yeah, pretty sure that was you.
No, it wasn't me. At least, not that I recall at the moment. ;)

See, I never make mistakes!

Wasn't that an episode of Mad About You?
whats 'mad about you'? it happened to me! :(

No, it wasn't me. At least, not that I recall at the moment. ;)

See, I never make mistakes!
Okay, what about the time you told me if I drank a gallon of milk in less than an hour the Faerie Queen would give me a full-size unicorn to ride upon for the rest of my life? All I did was vomit all that milk up. It ruined a pair of shoes, too. What about that?

Simonist']Okay, what about the time you told me if I drank a gallon of milk in less than an hour the Faerie Queen would give me a full-size unicorn to ride upon for the rest of my life? All I did was vomit all that milk up. It ruined a pair of shoes, too. What about that?
You used the wrong kind of milk, obviously. Czardas is always right. Sometimes the Universe is wrong, but Czardas is always right.

Simonist']Okay, what about the time you told me if I drank a gallon of milk in less than an hour the Faerie Queen would give me a full-size unicorn to ride upon for the rest of my life? All I did was vomit all that milk up. It ruined a pair of shoes, too. What about that?
What kind of milk did you drink?

Wasn't that an episode of Mad About You?
wasn't everything?

I've blatently insulted people behind their backs...when they were right behind mine.

I slagged off a mate of mine with a "yer ma" joke a few days after his mum died (her funeral had been the day before)...it completely slipped my mind, and I spent the next hour consoling her and apologising profusely.

I felt really, really bad about that for quite a while.

What kind of milk did you drink?
Freshly squeezed (or at least as fresh as a full gallon can be) from the purest virgin cow.....who was then ritualistically sacrificed in the yearly ceremony for the funk. Oh yeah......the funk.

I've blatently insulted people behind their backs...when they were right behind mine.
I don't know if that qualifies as "behind their back anymore", but that reminded me.

My current boyfriend and I started seeing each other behind a close friend's back, because she's liked him for 9 years or more and I just met him right before we hooked up. So one night I'm talking to my friend Brian about how complicated things can get and how it would be so much easier if she were just out of the picture, then about....ten seconds later, I look over and see her there. Right next to me. To this day, I don't know how much of that conversation she heard, or if she actually knows what I said about her.....

Simonist']Freshly squeezed (or at least as fresh as a full gallon can be) from the purest virgin cow.....who was then ritualistically sacrificed in the yearly ceremony for the funk. Oh yeah......the funk.
See, that's the problem. You should have gotten three-day-old 2% milk from the nearest drugstore and added salt. I don't know why you didn't do that. :rolleyes: ;)

Simonist']My current boyfriend and I started seeing each other behind a close friend's back, because she's liked him for 9 years or more and I just met him right before we hooked up. So one night I'm talking to my friend Brian about how complicated things can get and how it would be so much easier if she were just out of the picture, then about....ten seconds later, I look over and see her there. Right next to me. To this day, I don't know how much of that conversation she heard, or if she actually knows what I said about her.....
Wait, was this one of those killing "out of the picture" things? Because if you are still interested I am available for such work at absurdly low prices.
Unless you meant something else when you said "out of the picture", but years of crazy movies have taught me that "out of the picture" only has one meaning in any relationship.

See, that's the problem. You should have gotten three-day-old 2% milk from the nearest drugstore and added salt. I don't know why you didn't do that. :rolleyes: ;)
take pepsi and add salt.... check results for yourself

Wasn't that an episode of Mad About You?
It's Refused Party Program, one of my favorite NS'ers. I thought you vanished for good.......




Well anyway, onto something ontopic. I have never really done anything embarasing that really sticks out in my mind. Well, maybe this after noon in my russian class when I wasn't sure if my teacher was pointing at the lights or the ceiling. ́́́́что ето? he asked, to which I responded ето лампа. the propper response would have been ето петолок. And I'll quit showing off my nifty russian font now.

It's Refused Party Program, one of my favorite NS'ers. I thought you vanished for good.......




Well anyway, onto something ontopic. I have never really done anything embarasing that really sticks out in my mind. Well, maybe this after noon in my russian class when I wasn't sure if my teacher was pointing at the lights or the ceiling. ́́́́что ето? he asked, to which I responded ето лампа. the propper response would have been ето петолок. And I'll quit showing off my nifty russian font now.
You know, once upon a time, twelve years ago, I would've known what that said, but no longer.

Translation?

Some of us would rather NOT break out the Russian dictionaries :rolleyes:

I stick my foot in my mouth so often I quit remembereing many individual circumstances for very long at all.

Look ma, I'm flexible. I can fit both in my mouth.

Simonist']You know, once upon a time, twelve years ago, I would've known what that said, but no longer.

Translation?

Some of us would rather NOT break out the Russian dictionaries :rolleyes:
sorry, the teacher is asking me what it is that he is pointing at, and I said it's a lamp, but he was actually pointing at the ceiling.
́
что ето?= sto eta= what is this?

ето лампа= eta lampa= it's a lamp

ето петолок= eta petalok= it's a ceiling

Me and a friend are on a computer, looking something up at a party(About video games... Not that I wanted to...) ...girl walks in...

Girl:(Jokingly) You guys better not be doing anything dirty
Us: Nah, nah...
Me: I'm just watching, he's doing it
-Awkward silence-

take pepsi and add salt.... check results for yourself

What does happen when you add salt to pepsi and then drink it??

What does happen when you add salt to pepsi and then drink it?? If you have thrush it goes away.