NationStates Jolt Archive

Increasingly in the US, companies are using automated answering systems, and the list of options gets longer and longer. Have a problem with your phone bill, insurance company, or even your doctor and you can spend five minutes pushing buttons on your phone before you hear, “Your call is very important to us but all operators are currently busy with other clients. Please stay on the line and we will be with you as soon as possible.”

Would you prefer to talk to a “real person” when you call a company or do you prefer the automated system?

I prefer to talk to real people. But sometimes it doesn't even make a difference. These people have been so dehumanized that some of them DO sound like machines...

What about an automated person?

My preferences:

Someone working in my country who is smart
Someone not working in my country who is smart, but who has little/no accent
Someone working in my country who is stupid
Someone not working in my country who is stupid, but who has little/no accent
A machine
Someone not working in my country, who has a strong accent

Umm, depends on the type of service I want, but I would prefer a machine over a real person who's situated in India (or wherever) and whom I cannot for the life of me understand, prompting me to hang up in shame and call back to get someone else, any day.

My preferences:

Someone working in my country who is smart
Someone not working in my country who is smart, but who has little/no accent
Someone working in my country who is stupid
Someone not working in my country who is stupid, but who has little/no accent
A machine
Someone not working in my country, who has a strong accent

I almost agree but I would have to bump the machine up two notches. Someone who speaks the language well but is stupid isn't much help.

Umm, depends on the type of service I want, but I would prefer a machine over a real person who's situated in India (or wherever) and whom I cannot for the life of me understand, prompting me to hang up in shame and call back to get someone else, any day.

Fass, I'm surprised. Here I thought you were a liberal who believed in globalization, sharing the wealth and giving good jobs to people in poor countries. Did I have you confused with someone else? :D

I'd sooner deal with someone from my own country, who is informed and helpful, and who I've got a fairly good idea that they're being paid proper wages and all.

I've had to compete for contracts with companies based out of India, and frankly, there is no way to compete when your business rivals can undercut you by 50% or more. Except the way business sees it, levelling the playing field is supposed to mean I've got to learn to love living below the poverty line.

And people wonder why I'm fed up with capitalism.

I for one hate using the phone. The only reason that I would call a company is because I have gone to their website to find the information and it is unavailable.

I think there should be a law that with all automated phone systems, they should have to start off "If you would like to speak to a real person, press 0 now"

I think there should be a law that with all automated phone systems, they should have to start off "If you would like to speak to a real person, press 0 now"

Sometimes that works.

I prefer a machine its so much more strait forward and you don't have to tell it why and where the nozzle is stuck

Companies try to cram too much crap on the call, making you listen to their entire corporate history before telling you what to press.

As long as I can press 0 and get someone, i'm happy.

I also prefer trying the website, and sending an e-mail if I need to contact them. If I absolutely must call, I prefer an automated system, not least because I don't speak very clearly; pressing buttons is much easier than repeating myself several times. In addition, I'm not a very good conversationalist over the phone.

Fass, I'm surprised. Here I thought you were a liberal who believed in globalization, sharing the wealth and giving good jobs to people in poor countries. Did I have you confused with someone else? :D

There are so many misconceptions in that, that I don't know where to start. First of all, while I am a social liberal in the American scale, I am a slight economic liberal in the rest of the world scale, in the sense that I do not mind free markets and stuff like that. The thing is, globalisation is something the left here oppose, and since I know that in the US, left = liberal, it becomes very weird to decipher in my eyes.

What I do mind, though, is not being able to understand someone who is in a position where you communicate with people. Fortunately this has only happened with American on-line companies. The companies that are active in Sweden have Swedish staff to handle their call centre stuff, as ours is such an obscure language and the Indian people don't speak it to any extent at all. :)

Sometimes that works.

That's exactly what I do, especially on the ones where you have to enter all your information to get anywhere. Hit 0 at the first menu a good few times and you'll generally get put in the 'needs assistance' queue or something which can be a lot more useful than going through the menus in the first place.

Increasingly in the US, companies are using automated answering systems, and the list of options gets longer and longer. Have a problem with your phone bill, insurance company, or even your doctor and you can spend five minutes pushing buttons on your phone before you hear, “Your call is very important to us but all operators are currently busy with other clients. Please stay on the line and we will be with you as soon as possible.”

Would you prefer to talk to a “real person” when you call a company or do you prefer the automated system?

Someone who is real.

Almost every single automated voice response system allows you to zero out if you really, really hate dealing with the machine.

Almost every single automated voice response system allows you to zero out if you really, really hate dealing with the machine.

Key word is "almost." At work, I've run across a few that when you press zero you get the company alphabetical listing. If you are trying to purchase their product and don't know who to talk to it becomes very frustrating. You have to go back to the initial menu and work your way through all of them before being given the zero option. I wish I didn't have to do business with companies like that, but there is no choice if they are the only manufacturer of the item you need.

When I get this, I'll worry (and yes, I know it's old)

Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, and 5.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press - nobody will answer.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name.
If you have posttraumatic stress disorders, slowly and carefully press 000.
If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 0.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 0.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 0.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.


That being said, I usually prefer an actual person if I can understand them. I would much rather explain the problem than try to figure out which category my problem may fit into, only to find out I chose the wrong category or forgot which number I was supposed to press.

I hate automated synthetic operators more than either of those option. You get them for Pizza Hut and the like. They speak to you, and you have to talk right back... TO A MACHINE! It freaked the bejesus out of me the first time I encountered it.

I have gotten used to the "press 1 for english" type systems, the ones that really annoy me are the ones that want you to speak your options "if you have a billing question say billing" mostly they annoy me because being from Oklahoma I have an accent that the computer can't understand so I end up trying out my british accent which only works half the time, and my kids are always talking in the background and sometimes the computer picks up on them (or the TV) and says "I didn't quite get that could you try again?" It really really makes me mad.

My husband has figured out though if you just say random things to them enough they eventually connect you to a person

"say english if you want to continue in english"
"arthur"
"if you have a billing question say billing"
" I like Ginger better than Mary Anne"
"I didn't quite get that, could you try again?"
" I DON'T LIKE SPAM"
" okay, payment arangements, enter your account number"
" $%#@"
" I didn't quite get that, let me connect you to an operator"

and then I am on hold for an hour.............:mad:

What kind of a stupid question is that? It's like asking if you'd like to have your nuts stuck in a vice.

What kind of a stupid question is that? It's like asking if you'd like to have your nuts stuck in a vice.
Thats not so rare, last week I was at this party and . . .

No, nevermind, not talking about that.

I hate automated synthetic operators more than either of those option. You get them for Pizza Hut and the like. They speak to you, and you have to talk right back... TO A MACHINE! It freaked the bejesus out of me the first time I encountered it.
I hate that! Especially when that stupid computer woman tries to upsell you. I hate it almost as much as them changing their classic number. I still have Three Eight Nine-Two DubleOneDoubleOne, Three Eight Nine-Two DoubleOneDoubleOne, Three Eight Nine-Two DoubleOneDoubleOne stuck in my head like ten years after when I first heard it.

Unless there's a simple reason for using a machine, then machines aren't any substitutes for answering. I always hang up immediately if an answering machine comes up. No one and nothing is that important. Asking someone to leave a recording is like being asked to poop in a teapot and hand it thru a cat door.

I've also disabled the answering machine, because when it was on, I just ignored it.

I hate getting a cold call at 7:30 pm and there is that tell tale pause in responce to "hello" before an Indian voice intercepts and calls me Mr Reenods (it's actually Reynolds). Grrr. No i DONT want to change my phone service provider, if i did, don't you think i would have done it by now???

Unless there's a simple reason for using a machine, then machines aren't any substitutes for answering. I always hang up immediately if an answering machine comes up. No one and nothing is that important. Asking someone to leave a recording is like being asked to poop in a teapot and hand it thru a cat door.

I've also disabled the answering machine, because when it was on, I just ignored it.

Agh, I hate it when people do this. If I'm not home, or in the shower, or doing something in the yard, then I obviously can't pick up a phone. Leaving a message won't kill you, and it's more convenient- it allows me to call back when I am there, rather than force you to keep calling me to see if I have access to the phone again.

Leaving a message is nothing like pooping in a teapot and handing it through a cat door; why would you think so?

I hate getting a cold call at 7:30 pm and there is that tell tale pause in responce to "hello" before an Indian voice intercepts and calls me Mr Reenods (it's actually Reynolds). Grrr. No i DONT want to change my phone service provider, if i did, don't you think i would have done it by now???
This is so not the relivant thread for your comment, but that's ok. What country do you live in?

Even worse than getting an automated message system when you call someone is having an automated message system call you. Toyota (and probably others) have started doing this. It drives me nuts.

I mean, I hate getting telemarketers as it is. But now I get a tele-machine? Fortunately their machine refuses to talk to my machine, so at least I don't have to listen to a machine leaving a message on my machine as I scroll through my messages...

Even worse than getting an automated message system when you call someone is having an automated message system call you. Toyota (and probably others) have started doing this. It drives me nuts.

I mean, I hate getting telemarketers as it is. But now I get a tele-machine? Fortunately their machine refuses to talk to my machine, so at least I don't have to listen to a machine leaving a message on my machine as I scroll through my messages...
My favorite version of this is the call which begins with a few seconds of silence, and the first thing from the other line is "please hold". Fuck you, you called me. If I don't know what I'm holding for, don't count on it. I don't care if you said please. Unless you say "if you hold, 100 beautiful women will have amazing sex with you", it ain't gonna happen.

Depends. If it's something important, i'd prefer to speak to a person, but for something as simple as checking my bank balance, a machine is perfect.

My favorite version of this is the call which begins with a few seconds of silence, and the first thing from the other line is "please hold". Fuck you, you called me. If I don't know what I'm holding for, don't count on it. I don't care if you said please. Unless you say "if you hold, 100 beautiful women will have amazing sex with you", it ain't gonna happen.

I fucking HATE those messages, and they always seem to start out with "Please hold for an 'important' message"

If it's so fucking important, why isn't there a human on the other end of my phone!?!

Most of the time I would prefer a human when I make a call, but if the automated system is well organized, it can be useful, but that is a rare thing.

Most people I know hate them, but I tend to prefer them as I hate talking on the 'phone.