NationStates Jolt Archive

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20051029/ap_en_mo/people_sylvester_stallone;_ylt=AnDUBJBXLvMhXek32Vex5cqs0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTA3YXYwNDRrBHNlYwM3NjI-

Rambo is back in business.
Sylvester Stallone will reprise his role as gun-toting John Rambo in the upcoming "Rambo IV," said Ben Nedivi of Millennium Films, which is producing the project with Emmett/Furla Films.

The 59-year-old Stallone also intends to bring boxer Rocky Balboa out of retirement. He will write and direct "Rocky Balboa," the sixth film in that franchise, with shooting set to begin next year.

Nedivi said the $50 million "Rambo IV" will recapture the rawness of "First Blood," which launched the franchise in 1982.

Production is set to begin after "Rocky Balboa" wraps.

Michelle Bega, a spokeswoman for Stallone, said the actor wasn't available for comment Friday.

A new "Rambo" script hasn't yet been written, but the story calls for the reclusive Vietnam veteran to return to his vigilante ways when a young girl is kidnapped.

The first three films grossed a combined $614 million worldwide.

The first person to shoot me gets $10. I cannot live in a world where Stallone is allowed to get away with this crap. Or where Nic Cage can name his kid Kal-el.

Simonist']The first person to shoot me gets $10. I cannot live in a world where Stallone is allowed to get away with this crap. Or where Nic Cage can name his kid Kal-el.
Why can't you shoot yourself? I've got to stockpile my ammunition as this is obviously a sign of the coming Apocalypse.
We'll see the armies of the damned in the streets any day now.

Oh God. The part that threw me was this A new "Rambo" script hasn't yet been written Writing a script for Rambo, is like writing a script for a porno. It's just not nessacary.

Oh God. The part that threw me was this Writing a script for Rambo, is like writing a script for a porno. It's just not nessacary.
Ever see that Family Guy episode where Stephen King was pitchnig a new book and he just grabbed a lamp and was like "It's about a killer lamp, arrrgh!"
It's like that.

"Well, there's a jungle and theres some terrorist guerillas with guns and Rambo is gotta go shoot them to uh save the aboriginal people, but accidently blows them up."

The "No God" thing threw me off too, I was expecting a theological debate. But now that I read that, I understand.


There is no god. at all.

The "No God" thing threw me off too, I was expecting a theological debate. But now that I read that, I understand.


There is no god. at all.
It's actually worse. You know there is a Dungeon Siege movie in the works, but that is only the tip of the iceberg. The same guy is making a Postal movie. Have you ever played Postal? There is no storyline, period. It is like Duke Nukem with more sensless violence and less storyline.

Writing a script for Rambo, is like writing a script for a porno. It's just not nessacary.
For some reason, people do it anyway.
And isn't Rambo one of those guys who uses puns when he kills people?
Those sorts of puns require a 12 year old at least 2 hours to do, and they are pretty hard to get ahold of too. Damn kids, they are so hard to drag into the van at that age.

[not a rapist]

Ever see that Family Guy episode where Stephen King was pitchnig a new book and he just grabbed a lamp and was like "It's about a killer lamp, arrrgh!"
It's like that.

"Well, there's a jungle and theres some terrorist guerillas with guns and Rambo is gotta go shoot them to uh save the aboriginal people, but accidently blows them up."
And a half naked woman ends up with torn clothes and and exposed g-string and bra strap for no adquetly explained reason. Even excluding a reason for an aboriginal woman have perfectly manicured nails, a perm, plucked eye brows and a bra to begin with.

For some reason, people do it anyway.
And isn't Rambo one of those guys who uses puns when he kills people?
Those sorts of puns require a 12 year old at least 2 hours to do, and they are pretty hard to get ahold of too. Damn kids, its so hard to get them in the van at that age.
This one had me peeing myself, a little.

*grumble title stealer grumble* :p

And just when you thought it couldn't get any worse. (http://www.rottentomatoes.com/news/comments/?entryid=133941)

Lions Gate begins production on House of the Dead 2; millions wonder why

Posted by RT-News on Monday, Nov. 29, 2004, 02:09 PM

Scott Weinberg writes: "Bloody-Disgsuting.com scored an exclusive scoop when they announced that "House of the Dead 2" recently began production in California. The original "HotD," directed by Uwe Boll (who also has the video game flick "Alone in the Dark" scheduled for a January release), grossed barely $10 million in domestic release, but that's not going to stand in the way of another potential franchise.

It is official - Uwe Boll is the anti-christ.

Am I the only that noticed Uwe Boll looks like American McGee but 10 years older.. and as a hobo.

*grumble title stealer grumble* :p

And just when you thought it couldn't get any worse. (http://www.rottentomatoes.com/news/comments/?entryid=133941)
Still, for people who would otherwise be shooting informercials... that's pretty decent money.:D

Still, for people who would otherwise be shooting informercials... that's pretty decent money.:D
But I am pretty sure that the HotD actually had a negative net profit.
Normally a pointless movie series at least started with a profitable movie. However, Uwe Boll, it seems, is a sly one, entirely skipping the opening success, and moving right to the embarrasing and groan inducing flop sequels that will continue until we have HotD: In Space.
Trust me, you can tell a horror series is now and truly dead when someone decides to move it into space for no apparent reason. At that point, anything even remotely original that could happen has been done, and the people in charge just said "Fuck it, lets go to the moon."

But I am pretty sure that the HotD actually had a negative net profit.
Normally a pointless movie series at least started with a profitable movie. However, Uwe Boll, it seems, is a sly one, entirely skipping the opening success, and moving right to the embarrasing and groan inducing flop sequels that will continue until we have HotD: In Space.
Trust me, you can tell a horror series is now and truly dead when someone decides to move it into space for no apparent reason. At that point, anything even remotely original that could happen has been done, and the people in charge just said "Fuck it, lets go to the moon."
And why did the mask fall to Earth, in the past? That makes no fucking sense!

Indeed. There is no just and loving God if Stallone can do this.

Indeed. There is no just and loving God if Stallone can do this.
But Stallone hasn't done it yet. Maybe the heathen could be smited by a falling wardrobe, and the Mercy of Our Lord of Indoor Furnishings will be shone to all nations!

But Stallone hasn't done it yet. Maybe the heathen could be smited by a falling wardrobe, and the Mercy of Our Lord of Indoor Furnishings will be shone to all nations!
BLASPHEMY! There is only one true God! The Flying Spagettie Monster...

BLASPHEMY! There is only one true God! The Flying Spagettie Monster...
"When you go into foriegn lands, and you here the false prophets proclaim the goodness of their food based gods, take not them seriously. Remember, instead, that the humble table on which rests their spaghetti and pickled feet sticks is a servant of Our Lord of Indoor Furnishings. And remember that when their false creations of bread and fruits send them into intestinal distress, they turn to the toilet, the most reliable servant of Our Lord of Indoor Furnishings, for aid and comfort. Remembering these things, know that Our Lord of Indoor Furnishings is the one, true Master and Commander of all sides of the world, and that he is constant and aiding even to those whose mind lingers long on things passing. Also, remember that there will be a sale this week on kitchenette sets and wardrobes. Thus sayeth the wise Master Carpenter."
Book CXVII, Part IV, Chapter XI, Page 54, Lines 30-45 of the Tome of Our Lord of Indoor Furnishings.

"When you go into foriegn lands, and you here the false prophets proclaim the goodness of their food based gods, take not them seriously. Remember, instead, that the humble table on which rests their spaghetti and pickled feet sticks is a servant of Our Lord of Indoor Furnishings. And remember that when their false creations of bread and fruits send them into intestinal distress, they turn to the toilet, the most reliable servant of Our Lord of Indoor Furnishings, for aid and comfort. Remembering these things, know that Our Lord of Indoor Furnishings is the one, true Master and Commander of all sides of the world, and that he is constant and aiding even to those whose mind lingers long on things passing. Also, remember that there will be a sale this week on kitchenette sets and wardrobes. Thus sayeth the wise Master Carpenter."
Book CXVII, Part IV, Chapter XI, Page 54, Lines 30-45 of the Tome of Our Lord of Indoor Furnishings.
"Look not upon the Ikeatites, whome are the Swedenites or upon the dining suite or upon the lampshade or upon the drapes. For surely only wickedness can be found there. Remember that the pasta and sauce belongs our creator and that the forces of he who is called Carson, the leader of the Queer-Eye-for-the-Straight-Guyites shall engage in much sodomy and experience the pain of a torn arse. Lest you not join him in anal torment, unless that be ye thing, and instead consume of the food which noroushes thy stains and brings bloatedness to thy bowels"
The Book of Raviolli, Chaper IX, Verse(s) VI-VIII.

"Look not upon the Ikeatites, whome are the Swedenites or upon the dining suite or upon the lampshade or upon the drapes. For surely only wickedness can be found there. Remember that the pasta and sauce belongs our creator and that the forces of he who is called Carson, the leader of the Queer-Eye-for-the-Straight-Guyites shall engage in much sodomy and experience the pain of a torn arse. Lest you not join him in anal torment, unless that be ye thing, and instead consume of the food which noroushes thy stains and brings bloatedness to thy bowels"
The Book of Raviolli, Chaper IX, Verse(s) VI-VIII.
"Quail not in the face of threats against thy soul or property that followers of the grim heathens may heap upon they head, for Our Lord of Indoor Furnishings will provide you with deliverence from these. Nor look in longing upon the ziti or the Olive Gardens of the land, for such are but temporal pleasures of the flesh, filled with fattening ingredients and sodium. Nor keep picking at that because it will only get worse. For those who turn to Our Lord of Indoor Furnishings shall be guided as was Reverend Schewels when he received the Swift Kick in the Ass, and protectedt as was H. Depot when his thousand thousand foes were slain by a rain of wardrobes. For those who turn from Our Lord of Indoor Furnishings and from his servant's humble sale of couches and desk lamps, there will soon be no remnant of Our Lord or his fruits: there spaghetti will be uncooked, they will sit on the floor, and they will sleep in the dirt, and they will roll in the hay."
Book MDXII, Part VIII, Chapter XXX, Pages 100-101, Verse 23-25 of the Tome of Our Lord of Indoor Furnishings.