NationStates Jolt Archive

The premise of this thread is simple...crack open those Bibles and share your favorite Sin with everybody.

For bonus points, explain why your Sin should still be recognized in this modern world. See, some people think there are sections of the Bible that we no longer need to observe. If you really want to win the prize for Best Biblical Sin, you'll have to prove to us that your sin is not only sinfully good but also decidedly Hell-worthy!

As an added twist, our first suggested topic is "Heterosexuality as a sin" (spun off from the "Homosexuality as a sin" thread), so post your favorite heterosexual-sex-condemning Bible passages!


UPDATE: Here's a link to an online Bible resource, for those of you without a Bible... http://www.biblegateway.com/ I don't know all that much about different forms of the Bible, so if anbody else wants to recommend a different online resource then please feel free!

-snip-
...i don't... have a bible. ooh, wait, maybe there's an online-bible? :D

edit: of course there's one (http://bible.com)(or a few more)...

One of my favorites is Leviticus 15:19-30, which explains that a woman having her menstruation must be avoided to the point of not even touching what she has touched. Clearly, anybody who's "earned their red wings" is going straight to Hell.

Can't we just post Biblical porno instead?
The Song of Songs is rather raunchy.

Leviticus 19:19 forbids sowing a field with mixed feed. This means birds that mess your garden (spreading seeds in the process) should be condemned to burn in hell, which seems an entirely proportionate punishment. Shame about the farmers, but they should have learnt from the Church: Uniformity Is Good.

One of my favorites is Leviticus 15:19-30, which explains that a woman having her menstruation must be avoided to the point of not even touching what she has touched. Clearly, anybody who's "earned their red wings" is going straight to Hell.

Why, that's one sin us homo sodomites seldom commit.

Get thee away from us, thou filthy menstruating woman! Vade Retro! ;)

One of my favorites is Leviticus 15:19-30, which explains that a woman having her menstruation must be avoided to the point of not even touching what she has touched. Clearly, anybody who's "earned their red wings" is going straight to Hell.

I'd like to know how you find that out. "Excuse me, are you on your rags? You see, I ask because I can't..." *SLAP*

I can't be bothered to quote from the bible, but my favorite sin is, unsurprinsingly, masturbation.

And I'm pretty good at it :D

Well, all I know is as soon as people stopped burning Ox at the alter and OMG, did you know they let blind people go to church now??? Oh, I'm still wondering what would be a fair price for my daughter?

Here's one for the ladies:

Deuteronomy 22:13-22 says that if a woman can't produce proof that she was a virgin when she got married, then if her husband gets sick of her he can have the men of the town stone her to death.

Oh, I'm still wondering what would be a fair price for my daughter?

I'll trade you three head of cattle for her.

Here's one for the ladies:

Deuteronomy 22:13-22 says that if a woman can't produce proof that she was a virgin when she got married, then if her husband gets sick of her he can have the men of the town stone her to death.

ah the good old days :p

This one makes me laugh. It's just so...odd.

Noah, a man of the soil, was the first to plant a vineyard. He drank some of the wine and became drunk, and he lay uncovered in his tent. And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brothers outside. Then Shem and Japheth took a garment, laid it on both their shoulders, and walked backward and covered the nakedness of their father; their faces were turned away, and they did not see their father's nakedness. When Noah awoke from his wine and knew what his youngest son had done to him, he said, "Cursed be Canaan; lowest of slaves shall he be to his brothers." He also said, "Blessed by the Lord my God be Shem; and let Canaan be his slave. May God make space for Japheth, and let him live in the tents of Shem; and let Canaan be his slave." (Genesis 9:20-27 NRSV)

I'll trade you three head of cattle for her.

You drive a hard bargin, if you throw in a goat too you got a deal.

Besides, while I am married, I was not a virgin when I married, so I need a quick sale, I believe the town is going to be stoning me later this afternoon.

I think this might be my favorite:

Deuteronomy 23 verses 1-2:
"He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD."

Remember, guys, if you take a shot in the groin whilst playing football or something, then don't bloody well try to go to church until after the swelling goes down.

The admonishment against wearing two different kinds of fabric in the same garment is one of my favourites. It may be abomination, but it's abomination in STYLE!

I'd like to know how you find that out. "Excuse me, are you on your rags? You see, I ask because I can't..." *SLAP*
How does a Yorkshire farm boy know that his sister is menstruating?
His dad's cock tastes funny.

Oh, and these two are hilarious.

Meanwhile, the LORD instructed one of the group of prophets to say to another man, "Strike me!" But the man refused to strike the prophet. Then the prophet told him, "Because you have not obeyed the voice of the LORD, a lion will kill you as soon as you leave me." And sure enough, when he had gone, a lion attacked and killed him. (1 Kings 20:35-36 NLT)

From there Elisha went up to Bethel. While he was on his way, some small boys came out of the city and jeered at him. "Go up baldhead," they shouted, "go up baldhead!" The prophet turned and saw them, and he cursed them in the name of the Lord. Then two shebears came out of the woods and tore forty two of the children to pieces. (2 Kings 2:23-24 NAB)

"It's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God"vi

"Ah, you that turn justice to wormwood...you [who] trample on the poor and take from them levies of grain: You have built houses of hewn stone, but you shall not live in them; you have planted pleasant vineyards, but you shall not drink their wine."

Jesus explains that the rich man lacks one thing in order to inherit eternal life: "Go, sell what you own, and give your money to the poor, and you will
have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me."iv The rich man is shocked. "What!" he must have been thinking. "Sell everything I own? That's what's required to follow in Jesus' footsteps? Really? How can I possibly do that? Can't I just keep my wealth, but make sure that I'm following all of the 10 commandments all the time?" You know what he ended up doing. He
went away: "He...went away grieving, for he had many possessions."v He didn't follow Jesus.

Jesus actually goes on in verse 29 of the 10th chapter of Mark to talk about leaving behind one's home, fields, brother and sister, mother and father, and
even children for his sake and for the sake of the good news of the Kingdom.

Read the article I took this stuff from. It is great.
http://religiouslife-quad.stanford.edu/uploads/documents/sm_03_10_rich.kingdom.pdf

How does a Yorkshire farm boy know that his sister is menstruating?
His dad's cock tastes funny.

Anyone fancy a strawberry icecream cone?

Oh, and these two are hilarious.

Meanwhile, the LORD instructed one of the group of prophets to say to another man, "Strike me!" But the man refused to strike the prophet. Then the prophet told him, "Because you have not obeyed the voice of the LORD, a lion will kill you as soon as you leave me." And sure enough, when he had gone, a lion attacked and killed him. (1 Kings 20:35-36 NLT)

From there Elisha went up to Bethel. While he was on his way, some small boys came out of the city and jeered at him. "Go up baldhead," they shouted, "go up baldhead!" The prophet turned and saw them, and he cursed them in the name of the Lord. Then two shebears came out of the woods and tore forty two of the children to pieces. (2 Kings 2:23-24 NAB)

Two of my favorite examples of "divine justice."

You drive a hard bargin, if you throw in a goat too you got a deal.

Besides, while I am married, I was not a virgin when I married, so I need a quick sale, I believe the town is going to be stoning me later this afternoon.
Deal.

I shall put her to good use.

Meanwhile, the LORD instructed one of the group of prophets to say to another man, "Strike me!" But the man refused to strike the prophet. Then the prophet told him, "Because you have not obeyed the voice of the LORD, a lion will kill you as soon as you leave me." And sure enough, when he had gone, a lion attacked and killed him. (1 Kings 20:35-36 NLT)
Unrequited BDSM love?

Well, I know I'm going to hell, it clearly states in Leviticus I believe that I can't eat Lobster, now that one I've broken too many times to count.

Oh, I'm still wondering what would be a fair price for my daughter?

Don't delude yourself. YOU should be paying the poor sob who ends up with her ;)

Two of my favorite examples of "divine justice."

But this one takes the cake.

The ark of God was placed on a new cart and taken away from the house of Abinadab on the hill. Uzzah and Ahio, sons of Abinadab guided the cart, with Ahio walking before it, while David and all the Israelites made merry before the Lord with all their strength, with singing and with citharas, harps, tambourines, sistrums, and cymbals.

When they came to the threshing floor of Nodan, Uzzah reached out his hand to the ark of God to steady it, for the oxen were making it tip. But the Lord was angry with Uzzah; God struck him on that spot, and he died there before God. (2 Samuel 6:3-7 NAB)

Unrequited BDSM love?

With a lion, too. Kinky...

Deal.

I shall put her to good use.
Dude, I dare you to make her plant two crops in the same garden while wearing a cotton-poly-blend outfit! I double-dog dare you!

Don't delude yourself. YOU should be paying the poor sob who ends up with her ;)

Umm, that's just mean.. I really do have a daughter. !!!:gundge:

With a lion, too. Kinky...

Man-Lion sex, eh? Count me out. :p

How does a Yorkshire farm boy know that his sister is menstruating?
His dad's cock tastes funny.

I am SO scandalized. :eek:

Dude, I dare you to make her plant two crops in the same garden while wearing a cotton-poly-blend outfit! I double-dog dare you!

Should this be done during her period as well?

Umm, that's just mean.. I really do have a daughter. !!!:gundge:

Yeah, but come on. That's probably in the book somewhere too. I want my goat back. You can keep the cattle.

Yeah, but come on. That's probably in the book somewhere too. I want my goat back. You can keep the cattle.

*LOL* a deal is a deal. I'm sure you must of seen the "final sale" tag on her?

Umm, that's just mean.. I really do have a daughter. !!!:gundge:

Lol, I was kidding. I didn't think you really had children :p

I'm sure she's very nice, for an unclean, menstruating female anyway.

Man-Lion sex, eh? Count me out. :p

*Puuuuurrrrr*

*Mew*

*Evil toothy grin full of sharp teeth* :eek:

*Puuuuurrrrr*

*Mew*

*Evil tooty grin full of sharp teeth* :eek:

Mew? What is this, hairlip cow sex?

And a "tooty" grin? Dude...

Bible Study with Bottle is not nearly as cool as Bible Study with me. Funnier though. Ah, hilarious literalism.:)

Dude, I dare you to make her plant two crops in the same garden while wearing a cotton-poly-blend outfit! I double-dog dare you!
I have a suit that's got some acryllic stuff in it somewhere.
It's quite a nice one, though. I doubt I'd wear it to do the gardening.

Mew? What is this, hairlip cow sex?

And a "tooty" grin? Dude...

Isn't this a blatant example of the capital sin of pride? Pointing out other's mistakes to valorize himself?

*LOL* a deal is a deal. I'm sure you must of seen the "final sale" tag on her?

Hmph. It's a woman's word against a man's, here. Just who do you think the people are going to believe? :p ;)

Can't we just post Biblical porno instead?
The Song of Songs is rather raunchy.
I thought it was song of solomon ... hmmz

Isn't this a blatant example of the capital sin of pride? Pointing out other's mistakes to valorize himself?

Stone him!

I thought it was song of solomon ... hmmz
I thought that as well, but when I dug out a bible to check, it was listed as the song of songs.
Mind you, this was one of the Good News things, not the King James version...

Stone him!

Why go through all the trouble when I can just get myself stoned?

:p

Lol, I was kidding. I didn't think you really had children :p

I'm sure she's very nice, for an unclean, menstruating female anyway.


Hehe, yes, I have two children, Jake and Holly. Jake is 7 and Holly is 1 1/2 years old, a little young for the whole period thingy..lol

I knew you were joking. :)

Why go through all the trouble when I can just get myself stoned?

:p

ROTFL

So, technically, getting stoned to death is having an overdose, right? :p

Why go through all the trouble when I can just get myself stoned?

:p

You're right. *lumbers at you with a burning piece of wood*

You're right. *lumbers at you with a burning piece of wood*

*splashes it with a bucket of water, grabs the wood, and throws it in a chipper. quickly destroys said chipper so Kan doesn't have the possibility of tossing me in it*

Nyah! Your fun has been ruined.

ROTFL

So, technically, getting stoned to death is having an overdose, right? :p
"They'll stone you when you're trying to be sober..."

*splashes it with a bucket of water, grabs the wood, and throws it in a chipper. quickly destroys said chipper so Kan doesn't have the possibility of tossing me in it*

Nyah! Your fun has been ruined.

*points at Pot and curses him in the name of the Lord. A pack of wolves then promptly tear him to bits*

Hey, it works in the bible.

Here are a few little-known sins in the Bible (luckily for Christians, all are only incumbent upon Jews):
Cross-dressing is banned
Tattooing is banned
Shaving your sideburns is banned
NOT getting married
NOT having kids

The first one is because that could easily lead to immorality. The second is because tattooing was done for religious reasons by idolaters. I am not sure about the third one, though it could be a "Jews are different" commandment.

But my favorite commandment is this:
If you can save a life (including your own) by breaking a commandment except murder, idolatry, or sexual immorality, you are COMMANDED to do so.
For non-Jews, the underlined section is deleted.

One little-known commandment that is incumbent upon ALL people is that eating flesh taken from a live animal is prohibited. To eat something, you have to kill it first.

One little-known commandment that is incumbent upon ALL people is that eating flesh taken from a live animal is prohibited. To eat something, you have to kill it first.
I don't have a problem with that one. That seems fair enough, in all honesty.

But my favorite commandment is this:
If you can save a life (including your own) by breaking a commandment except murder, idolatry, or sexual immorality, you are COMMANDED to do so.
For non-Jews, the underlined section is deleted.
Wow, that's in the bible, and it actually makes sense! Well, i'll be.... :p

One little-known commandment that is incumbent upon ALL people is that eating flesh taken from a live animal is prohibited. To eat something, you have to kill it first.

...and that too. lol :p

One little-known commandment that is incumbent upon ALL people is that eating flesh taken from a live animal is prohibited. To eat something, you have to kill it first.
I guess hanible is in trouble then :p

...and that too. lol :p
A rare example of God making sense. Perhaps he was feeling ill when he came up with that one?

Okay, I think I've got my short list of God's Greatest Sinful Hits. The following are things the Bible says you CANNOT do:

Wear pants or enjoy gold jewelry, if you're a girl (1 Pe 3:3, Deut 22:5)

Paint pictures like Vincent Van Gogh's Starry Night (Exodus 20:4)

Opt not to read the Bible every single day (Ps 1:2; Acts 17:11; 1Pe 2:2; 1 Tim 4:13)

Covet things (Exodus 20:17)

Wear cotton-poly blends (Leviticus 19:19)

Enjoy the antics of astrologers (penalty for writing a horoscope column is death, according to Deut 17:7)

Refuse to be baptized in the name of Jesus (Lk 7:29,30)

Eat a rare steak (Acts 15:20)

Participate in a comic roast (Eph 5:4 NIV)

Look at Angelina Jolie (Tim 2:22)

Give or receive tattoos (Lev 19:28; Deut 14:1)

Think something nasty about your rotten boss, even if you never say it or act upon it in any way (Mt 15:19; Mk 7:21)

Be snarky to your parents, brag, or gossip (Ro 1:32)

Think about what you feel like wearing to work this morning, or about what you might like to have for lunch (Mt 6:25)

Love your life (Jn 12:25)

I havent seen the first sin mentioned in the bible...a ban on salad.

Genesis 1:29-30
29 And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearning seed, which is upon the face of all the earth and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.
30 And to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to everything that creepeth upon the earth, wherein there is lift, I have given every green herb for meat: and it was so.

therefore, God has clearly given us fruit and nuts, but has restricted us from eating greens, as those are for the animals. So eat healthy and enjoy eternal damnation.

One of my favorites is Leviticus 15:19-30, which explains that a woman having her menstruation must be avoided to the point of not even touching what she has touched. Clearly, anybody who's "earned their red wings" is going straight to Hell.
That is also one of the more famous lessons of the Muslim Koran.

This one makes me laugh. It's just so...odd.

Noah, a man of the soil, was the first to plant a vineyard. He drank some of the wine and became drunk, and he lay uncovered in his tent. And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brothers outside. Then Shem and Japheth took a garment, laid it on both their shoulders, and walked backward and covered the nakedness of their father; their faces were turned away, and they did not see their father's nakedness. When Noah awoke from his wine and knew what his youngest son had done to him, he said, "Cursed be Canaan; lowest of slaves shall he be to his brothers." He also said, "Blessed by the Lord my God be Shem; and let Canaan be his slave. May God make space for Japheth, and let him live in the tents of Shem; and let Canaan be his slave." (Genesis 9:20-27 NRSV)
I can make no sense of that.

A rare example of God making sense. Perhaps he was feeling ill when he came up with that one?

Yeah. Weird. It's out of character, you'd expect him to command you to only eat animals that are still living.


I can make no sense of that.

From what I gather, Noah punished Ham for seeing him naked by making Ham's son a slave to Shem and Japeth. The moral of the story is: never look at your father naked, or your children will be sold into slavery.

Actually, Ham castrated Noah.

Actually, Ham castrated Noah.


In that case, if I were Noah, i'd be pretty pissed off too.

But that doesn't seem to match up with the verse there.

This comic is quite funny: http://www.holybibble.net/?date=20050624 - I linked to the first page.

I just checked the passage regarding Noah's sons, and one of the common stories regarding Noah's sons is FALSE.

It is said that Shem's descendents were the Europeans, Ham's were the Africans, and Japeth's were the Asians. WRONG. Ham is Africa, Shem is ASIA, and Japeth is Europe.

Funny enough, I can't find actual mention of the castration in either the text or the commentaries... I'll check with my rabbi tomorrow.