NationStates Jolt Archive

A religious group was held responsible when a Nigerian man claimed his penis disappeared. Several members of the group have been killed by mob violence.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/1274235.stm

On a weirdness scale (1 being least weird and 10 being most weird) this one scores a 77.

When dealing with people who may or may not have the power to make one's genitals disappear... it's best to err on the side of caution and go with some mob violence.

...

Is it wrong that I laughed? It is, isn't it?

When dealing with people who may or may not have the power to make one's genitals disappear... it's best to err on the side of caution and go with some mob violence.
But what if you participate in the violence and wake up the next morning with no penis! I think running away would be the safest option.

The Osun state police commissioner Ganiu Dawodu, who dismissed claims of organ disappearance...

...While the sect members were on a house-to-house preaching mission, someone raised an alarm that his penis had disappeared.

Didn't they think to check? Geez! I'd want to see that! How bizarre...and thank you DC for always bringing such strangeness to NS light...it definately beats articles about US politicians!!!

Damn it! My genitals are missing! I must find them...

Damn it! My genitals are missing! I must find them...

*runs off with...*

...

Hmm. Maybe I shouldn't touch this one...

But what if you participate in the violence and wake up the next morning with no penis! I think running away would be the safest option.

Good point. I'd hate to have the guy defend himself from the mob by making penises disappear left and right.

But it's obvious no one made this guy's penis disappear. I mean anyone with that kind of power would surely be ruling the world right now.

Good point. I'd hate to have the guy defend himself from the mob by making penises disappear left and right.

But it's obvious no one made this guy's penis disappear. I mean anyone with that kind of power would surely be ruling the world right now.
I once saw a porn star make three of them disappear at the same time. I think she got paid well for it, but she's not running the world as far as I know.

*runs off with...*

...

Hmm. Maybe I shouldn't touch this one...
Apparently there is no need for touching...mystic mind power alone can make genitals disappear.

I wonder where they go? Do you think they go to the same place that missing socks finally find rest? Now there is a hiding spot I'd never want to stumble upon!

*La de da...wow...look at all these single socks...and what's that in the pile...oh my goodness...is that? Are those? MY EYES! MY POOR EYES!*

But it's obvious no one made this guy's penis disappear. I mean anyone with that kind of power would surely be ruling the world right now.
You know when someone asks you what super power you'd like to have? Well I always chose super-swearing power (the ability to make someone erupt in a stream of profanity) or super pooping-power (to make someone erupt in a stream of...well, you get the point)...but I think this power would really beat those! Can you imagine? Fred Phelps is making some sort of racist, hateful speech, and you give him the warning finger wag...he gulps, shuts up, and leaves immediately. Or your boss is giving you crap for something again, and just to show him who is the REAL boss...poof! Ha! Take that!:eek:

Apparently there is no need for touching...mystic mind power alone can make genitals disappear.

I wonder where they go? Do you think they go to the same place that missing socks finally find rest? Now there is a hiding spot I'd never want to stumble upon!

*La de da...wow...look at all these single socks...and what's that in the pile...oh my goodness...is that? Are those? MY EYES! MY POOR EYES!*

LMAO...

I hope not. That would be my bedroom. *looks uneasily at pile of dirty clothes*

LMAO...

I hope not. That would be my bedroom. *looks uneasily at pile of dirty clothes*
If a bunch of angry Nigerian men come knocking on your door don't let them in!

You know when someone asks you what super power you'd like to have? Well I always chose super-swearing power (the ability to make someone erupt in a stream of profanity) or super pooping-power (to make someone erupt in a stream of...well, you get the point)...but I think this power would really beat those! Can you imagine? Fred Phelps is making some sort of racist, hateful speech, and you give him the warning finger wag...he gulps, shuts up, and leaves immediately. Or your boss is giving you crap for something again, and just to show him who is the REAL boss...poof! Ha! Take that!:eek:

Hmm. Not useful on women, though.

Unless you could magically transfer the penis to women. Ha! Take that Fred Phelps! Hmm....lessee...present for you, Ms. Coulter...

If a bunch of angry Nigerian men come knocking on your door don't let them in!

Uh oh. Quick, I need a cover...

Umm...

Anyone want some dried squid?

Now the question is...do you have the power to reattach them? Or make them reappear? That could be awkward if you didn't have the power to make things right again...what if you did it by accident? And could you do it to yourself, or would you be immune? And if you COULD make them reappear...would they automatically return to their owner, or could you reattach them to others...or to strange places...imagine reattachment to a forehead...and why am I actually thinking about this?:headbang:

Uh oh. Quick, I need a cover...

Umm...

Anyone want some dried squid?

yum!

...


...

I mean no.

You know when someone asks you what super power you'd like to have? Well I always chose super-swearing power (the ability to make someone erupt in a stream of profanity) or super pooping-power (to make someone erupt in a stream of...well, you get the point)...but I think this power would really beat those! Can you imagine? Fred Phelps is making some sort of racist, hateful speech, and you give him the warning finger wag...he gulps, shuts up, and leaves immediately. Or your boss is giving you crap for something again, and just to show him who is the REAL boss...poof! Ha! Take that!:eek:

Internet access to hear of wonderful new superpower - 15$ a month.
Plane ticket to Fred Phelp's location - 300$
Making Fred Phelp's penis disappear - priceless.
There's some things money can't buy. Like the power to remove the genitals of a racist ignorant homophobe.:D

Now the question is...do you have the power to reattach them? Or make them reappear? That could be awkward if you didn't have the power to make things right again...what if you did it by accident? And could you do it to yourself, or would you be immune? And if you COULD make them reappear...would they automatically return to their owner, or could you reattach them to others...or to strange places...imagine reattachment to a forehead...and why am I actually thinking about this?:headbang:
Maybe you could, for a price, attatch the penises of "gifted" men onto the bodies of very rich, poorly endowed men.

Like...wha?

He thought his penis disappeared?

Idiot.

You know when someone asks you what super power you'd like to have? Well I always chose super-swearing power (the ability to make someone erupt in a stream of profanity) or super pooping-power (to make someone erupt in a stream of...well, you get the point)...but I think this power would really beat those! Can you imagine?
I'd hate that.
Transexuals pounding on your door day and night, and then your company would probably just move you to a position under a female boss (minds out of the gutter children!).

On the other hand, I can only imagine the sort of conversations that vanishing genitals cause.
"I appear to be missing my genitals."
"Ooh, tough luck that. Have you tried retracing your steps?"
"Yes, and that didn't help much. Have you seen them?"
"What do they look like?"
"Sort of like this" *Pulls out naked pictures*
"Hm, let me think. No, I don't believe that I have seen that one this week. Although, I'll call you if I see him."
"OK, then. If you see it, it answers to the name Tom Johnson!"

yum!

...


...

I mean no.

Aww, they're two for a dollar.

Aww, they're two for a dollar.

At that price, even disgustingness can't put me off.

And is it only male genitalia you would have the power over? That seems rather unfair...

Detatchable Penis, by King Missile
I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable.

[background singing begins: "detachable penis" over and over]

This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
and the next morning I can't for the life of me
remember what I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
So I called up the place where the party was,
they hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
but they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.
I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man,
and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house,
and calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him.
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
I took it home, washed it off,
and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
but I don't know.
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
I like having a detachable penis.

At that price, even disgustingness can't put me off.

Good man. Run along now with your tasty Nigerian squid. :D

lol @ DC....

I'd have given him the whole $22 ;)

Detatchable Penis, by King MissileI didn't think anyone else had ever heard this song!!!!! You just went up seventy points in my 'Sinuhue thinks you rock' book! I was thinking about it since the first post...it's one of my favourite 'wtf' songs to play for people:)

lol @ DC....

I'd have given him the whole $22 ;)
What's up Peech?

I didn't think anyone else had ever heard this song!!!!! You just went up seventy points in my 'Sinuhue thinks you rock' book! I was thinking about it since the first post...it's one of my favourite 'wtf' songs to play for people:)
It's a classic. But I think alot of people have heard it. It was featured on Bevis and Buthead once.

lol @ DC....

I'd have given him the whole $22 ;)

zomg. I thought you'd left us. :p

zomg. I thought you'd left us. :p


haha....never. :fluffle:

I've just had a really bad case of RLS......Real Life Syndrome.

haha....never. :fluffle:

I've just had a really bad case of RLS......Real Life Syndrome.

:fluffle: Oh yeah. I had that for a while but made a full recovery. :D