NationStates Jolt Archive

Recently, while fumbling through dusty books of at my current residence, I stumbled upon a little book written by George Mikes. It was called: How to be a Brit.The man was Hungarian, and while the information in the book is severely outdated now, I ponder what reaction, if any, these following quotes will recieve.

1) On England: "When people say England, they sometimes mean Great Britain, sometimes the United Kingdom, sometimes the British Isles-but never England." (p 20)

2) On the inhabitants of England: "A true-born Englishmen does not know any language. He does not speak English too well either but, at least, he is not proud of this. He is, however, immensely proud of not knowing any foreign language. Indeed, inability to speak foreign languages seems to be the major, if not the only, intellectual achievement of the average Englishman." (p 96ish)

3) On immigrants, which he was at some point: "...Speak English...Deny that you know any foreign language (including your mother tongue). The knowledge of foreign languages is very un-English. A little French is permissible, but only with an atrocious accent." (p 95)

4) To stop any troublemakers: "I know a naturalized Britisher who, talking to a young man, repeatedly used the phrase 'We Englishmen'. The young man looked at him, took the pipe out of his mouth and remarked softly: 'Sorry, Sir, I'm a Welshman,' turned his back on him and walked away.
The same gentleman was listining to a conversation. It was mentioned that the Japanese had claimed to have shout down 22 planes.
'What-ours?' he asked indignantly.
His English hostess answered icily:
'No -- ours.' " (p 94)

Now if you are English, is this true, in any way, shape or form?
If you are not English, replace your countries name for England, for example, the United States. Say whether you feel the same information is true, false, or a half-truth.
Pipe up and give your opinion on this, if you will, of course. I'll put my two cents in, later on, if this turns into anything. I'll admit, the fourth point is quite special to England, or so I think.

And if none of that applies to you, voice your opinion anyhow! - (thx Fass)

:) Notice: This is presented in a humorous manner! :)

I read that a long time ago, then again just recently. It's called How to be an Alien, though, not How to be a Brit - unless it's been reprinted with a new title.

As a part-Brit, I found it humorous. :)

I read that a long time ago, then again just recently. It's called How to be an Alien, though, not How to be a Brit - unless it's been reprinted with a new title.

As a part-Brit, I found it humorous. :)
I had one with three books in it, and the one you speak of was in it. It was a minibus or something. I found How to be an Alien the most fun.

This doesn't translate very well to us.

This doesn't translate very well to us.
Then say what you think of England, and English speakers! Yay!

I can sympathize with you, I think. I'm learning Swedish in Finland after studying Finnish for six moths to find out I must speak Swedish.

Does that make you feel better?

Then say what you think of England, and English speakers! Yay!

Seeing as I am an English speaker, I hate us all! Wretched creatures, we are. Our misery we need to be put out of.

I can sympathize with you, I think. I'm learning Swedish in Finland after studying Finnish for six moths to find out I must speak Swedish.

Sucker! ;) Why must you speak Swedish? You'll find it easier than Finnish, at least. Hope that makes you feel better.

Sucker! ;) Why must you speak Swedish? You'll find it easier than Finnish, at least. Hope that makes you feel better.
LOL!

I find it much easier than Finnish, since Swedes don't conguagate their nouns. Annoying that, if I described it right. Anyhow, the coast of Finland is more or less dominated by Swedes, and I'm living Åland. Wait...

Jag bor på Åland en år. Jag är en utbetselev från USA.

Mods don't usually like conversation not in English, so I'll just stop there. My fluency is comming along, spelling, nah. Anyhow, while I was writing that I could just turn to the person next to me and bewilder them randomly! :p

LOL!

I find it much easier than Finnish, since Swedes don't conguagate their nouns. Annoying that, if I described it right. Anyhow, the coast of Finland is more or less dominated by Swedes, and I'm living Åland. Wait...

Åland? Oh, should I be sorry for you? There's nothing out there. You might as well be in the Hebredes.

Jag bor på Åland en år. Jag är en utbetselev från USA.

"Jag ska bo på Åland i ett år. Jag är utbyteselev från USA." Just a little correction. You were very close. Var i USA kommer du ifrån? Ville du först till Finland, och hade oturen att hamna på Åland, eller vad?

Mods don't usually like conversation not in English, so I'll just stop there. My fluency is comming along, spelling, nah. Anyhow, while I was writing that I could just turn to the person next to me and bewilder them randomly! :p

I didn't get that last part, but the mods aren't against non-English conversations. We've had threads in several other languages and no one but Eutrusca complained to the mods, and they shot him down.

"Jag ska bo på Åland i ett år. Jag är utbyteselev från USA." Just a little correction. You were very close. Var i USA kommer du ifrån? Ville du först till Finland, och hade oturen att hamna på Åland, eller vad?
Yeah, as I said, my fluency is coming along! :p

Jag kommer från Muskegon, Michigan. Det är lite norut om Chicago, på sjö Michigan kusten. Ja, oturen. Men, det är inte så dålig. Jag kan åker på en farje varje plats!

All the other forums I've been to hate other languages, but I guess not here!

Jag kommer från Muskegon, Michigan. Det är lite norr om Chicago, på Michigan-sjöns kust. Ja, oturen. Men, det är inte så dåligt. Jag kan åka med färja till varje plats!

Hoppas det inte gör nåt med lite rättelser här och var? Vad konstigt - man tycker att de skulle skickat dig nånstans där de pratar finska, men svenska är inte fy skam det heller. Jag skulle ha klagat, dock.

All the other forums I've been to hate other languages, but I guess not here!

Oh, we're very multicultural here. It also helps that the threads in other languages get less mod attention if the mods don't understand the language, and you have a bit more leeway in the things you say. ;)

We've had threads in several other languages and no one but Eutrusca complained to the mods, and they shot him down.
That was one, particular case! :p

That was one, particular case! :p

Perhaps you're right, and it is true that einmal ist keinmal.

I speak that mongrelised Germanic language pretty well. :)

Hoppas det inte gör nåt med lite rättelser här och var? Vad konstigt - man tycker att de skulle skickat dig nånstans där de pratar finska, men svenska är inte fy skam det heller. Jag skulle ha klagat, dock.
Nej! Var snäll och rätta vad du ska! Jag tror de låta mig prata, men de rätta mig inte! Så, jag har en roligt tid försöker till förklara någonting. Okså, jag förstår inte allting i din budskap, jag måste ge en nuordbok.

Anyhow, does anyone have to say anything about the first post! I spammed my own thread quite liberally. :D

Wow, a thread about England and the English language and most of the posters are speaking Swedish.:p

And no, we're not really like that (not most of the time anyway). The only surefire way to make an Englishman really angry is to have terrible table manners.:)

LOL!

I find it much easier than Finnish, since Swedes don't conguagate their nouns. Annoying that, if I described it right. Anyhow, the coast of Finland is more or less dominated by Swedes, and I'm living Åland. Wait...
Not really. Ahvenanmaa is the only really unilingually Swedish area in Finland. And it's a small island hundred kilometers to the sea. There are also three other rural counties, which are Swedish-speaking, all of them middle of nowhere and totally isolated. The Närpiö dialect in particular is so isolated that standard Swedish speakers can't understand it. Local majorities are found in some rural and coastal areas. In conclusion, Swedish is a minority language (5%) isolated to some geographical areas.

Weird, I found a George Mikes quotation in my diary today:

"Continental people have sex lives, the English have hot water bottles."

"Continental people have sex lives, the English have hot water bottles."
Put the two together and it's better than a day at the races.

-snippy-
Yay! A Finn!

Anyhow, I was just guessing. Most other Swedish speakers I know come from the coast, while I knew that most towns were more Finnish than Swedish in most cases, I guessed there was a larger Swedish minority.

My feelings: I believe point 1 is true, from what I've seen. 2 and 3 are wrong, for the States, even though most people don't speak grammatically correct English all the time. 4, not applicable to the States.

Not really. Ahvenanmaa is the only really unilingually Swedish area in Finland. And it's a small island hundred kilometers to the sea. There are also three other rural counties, which are Swedish-speaking, all of them middle of nowhere and totally isolated. The Närpiö dialect in particular is so isolated that standard Swedish speakers can't understand it. Local majorities are found in some rural and coastal areas. In conclusion, Swedish is a minority language (5%) isolated to some geographical areas.

In the South, a lot of the Swedish-speaking areas have been dilutted by Finnish-speaking people moving their from the inland areas. My mother is from Borgå, when she was born there it was majority of Swedish speakers, now two thirds have Finnish as their mother tongue due to migration of Finnish speakers into the town. It's the same in other areas aswell, e.g. Sibbo (victim of Helsingfors/Helsinki's expansion), Hangö etc.

So, it may only be 5,5 % or so of the total population of Finland these days, but Swedish is still a significant language in Finland, and the Swedish-speaking populations are very concentrated on the south and west coasts, so in those areas their presence is significant.

1) On England: "When people say England, they sometimes mean Great Britain, sometimes the United Kingdom, sometimes the British Isles-but never England." (p 20)I can't comment on the rest of your points much, but this one is very, very often true. The UK / Great Britain is very often referred to as "England", despite the fact there are four countries in the UK (three in Great Britain - Northern Ireland is part of the UK, but not officially part of GB).

I can't comment on the rest of your points much, but this one is very, very often true. The UK / Great Britain is very often referred to as "England", despite the fact there are four countries in the UK (three in Great Britain - Northern Ireland is part of the UK, but not officially part of GB).
yeah by people outside of england. in my experience english people themselves only refer to 'england' when they want to seperate themselves from the rest of britain, and mean just that - england.

then again i went to school with some pretty dyed-in-the-wool english nationalists, and they always made this point of seperating out england and britain :rolleyes:
but then again i suppose thats to be applauded - saying england when you mean britain is just wrong... so they were doing the right thing for the wrong reason.... arg i'm so confused! :confused:

I find one aspect of this to be somewhat true over on this side of the pond.

The singular language: Really, most Americans actually can speak a second language if the have too...it's either Spanish or "Southern"....sometimes "Valley" or "Joisey". :)

Seriously, Americans are often critisized for not speaking a second language, but let's face it, you can travel from the arctic circle to the Falkland Islands and skate by knowing only English and some Spanish...so being multilingual is not really a priority for most of the population.

-snip-
True, and if you include Eubonics, us American's all have fun with that lingo!

Monty Python.