NationStates Jolt Archive

Human beings have made a mess of politics. They get all tangled up overseas, spending hundreds of billions of dollars every year interfering in the politics and private lives of people they do not even know. They bring violence to every corner of the world and they sow corruption in all places they spend their ill-gotten money. They have become insensitive and gross, and are obsessed with laws that turn working people against one another and make life just one big, complicated mess for everybody.

Given the fact that things could not possibly be worse, we urge you to VOTE HAMSTER in the presidential election of the year 2008. If Diddley Squat and Bupkes are not on your ballot, either in the party-of-your-choice primary or in the general election, you should write them in. Why a hamster? Well, we can give you at least ten good reasons:

Hamsters don't do 'phone sex'
Hamsters are for peace
Hamsters will not waste money on stupid stuff
Hamsters will not interfere with your life
Hamsters will never lie to you
Hamsters won't use courts to persecute their adversaries
Hamsters will cut your taxes down to dimes and pennies
Hamsters are not arrogant, authoritarian, power-hungry idiots
Hamsters do not defend the interests of a cannibalistic ruling class
Hamsters stand for orderly anarchy

http://www.hamsterforpresident.com/intro.html

Whom.

Whom.
Thanks i guess.

Thanks i guess.

More info. (http://www.ku.edu/~edit/whom.html)

What about guinea pigs?

What about guinea pigs?

Hamsters are cuter and less bony.

Hamsters are cuter and less bony.

I don't think I've actually ever seen a hamster in the flesh, I think I'll stick with the guinea pigs. Besides, I just can't agree with the hamster policies.

god help us if cats find out :eek:

And don’t hamsters eat there young? Got my vote

I'm trying to imagine international conferences with the US hamster squeaking excitedly without anyone noticing it.
Hehe.
And then some other country votes a cat for president and that's when all the fun starts :D

If those were the only four choices--hamsters.

If we could vote for anyone we wanted--a Libertarian (for the folks in the US--liberal for the rest of the world).

<blah, blah, blah, words used to be here, whatever>
Why a hamster? Well, we can give you at least ten good reasons:
You, sir, are almost completely uninformed. In fact, if I had to guess, I'll bet you have never even been in Form in the first place. Well neither have I, and that last pun sucked, so I shall take apart that list piece by piece.
Hamsters don't do 'phone sex'
Obviously, you and I go to different bars. I knew this one hamster who always called me up at the middle of the night so she could say things like "I'm wearing nothing but a toilet tissue tube, you want to stick me somewhere." I had to change my phone number! Fucking hamsters.
Hamsters are for peace
When I finally called off my relationship with that hamster, she started threatening me all the time. Eventually, she tripped me and I fell down the stairs, though I was saved at the last second by my Mountain Climbing Cord (I have very steep stairs, jack ass).
Hamsters will not waste money on stupid stuff
I still have yet to recover my credit rating. I kept coming home to discover that the damn hamster had bought something new, even when I'd lock her in her cage she would manage to get out and start on amazon.com. The last step, however, was when she bought that starving African kid. He may have looked cute, but he ate far too much so we had to let him go in the sewers.
Hamsters will not interfere with your life
I think I am proving that one wrong.
Hamsters will never lie to you
Hamsters lie! Everything they say is a lie, they say they'll love you forever, and then you find them with the Siberian Hamster next door.
Hamsters won't use courts to persecute their adversaries
Obviously you weren't there during the divorce.
Hamsters will cut your taxes down to dimes and pennies
I suppose that said is half right, although I have no idea why I have to pay $200 a month in dimes, who the hell needs that many dimes?
Hamsters are not arrogant, authoritarian, power-hungry idiots
She wouldn't even let me watch the Discovery channel after they did that show on Hamsters. The damned thing said that Discovery was a biased source that refused to commentate on the massive social, economic, and political accomplishments of her people.
Hamsters do not defend the interests of a cannibalistic ruling class
Well, after she ate the children, she continued to defend her own interests, so I doubt it.
Hamsters stand for orderly anarchy
Hamsters are fucking jerks, as I believe I have just proved, who stand for nothing other than furthering their own powers and using you to gain American citizenship.
http://www.hamsterforpresident.com/intro.html
Oh, you mean hamsters as in the rodents? I thought you were talking about people from Amsterdam.
Still, don't order from Amsterdam Mail Order Bride Catalogues, because it doesn't get any better the third time around.

Oh, you mean hamsters as in the rodents? I thought you were talking about people from Amsterdam.
Still, don't order from Amsterdam Mail Order Bride Catalogues, because it doesn't get any better the third time around.

HAHA! That was funny Fiddlebottoms. I enjoyed reading it. Then I liked the pun at the end of your statement.

Well said indeed :D

More info. (http://www.ku.edu/~edit/whom.html)

Funny how a Swede, whose first language is not English, has much better grammar than most Americans, Brits, and other English-as-a-first language people I've ever met! ;)

If the Democrats come up with real ideas and don't just act like the opposition party (as they do now and piss me off to no end), I'll want one of them in the White House.

Funny how a Swede, whose first language is not English, has much better grammar than most Americans, Brits, and other English-as-a-first language people I've ever met! ;)

I've noticed a foreigners-being-better-than-natives trend.

If the Democrats come up with real ideas and don't just act like the opposition party (as they do now and piss me off to no end), I'll want one of them in the White House.

They do have ideas, but they do a piss poor job at publicizing them, and the media does a piss poor job at picking them up. Plans don't sell papers. Loud criticism does.

They do have ideas, but they do a piss poor job at publicizing them, and the media does a piss poor job at picking them up. Plans don't sell papers. Loud criticism does.

An unfortunate truth :(

Nice to see even the Republicans are outnumbering Democrats. The new Democratic party slogan must not be working.

Democrats: America can do better

Nice to see even the Republicans are outnumbering Democrats. The new Democratic party slogan must not be working.

Democrats: America can do better
Pity you're getting your asses kicked by Nader.

Pity you're getting your asses kicked by Nader.
My party isn't even on the list. But the Hamsters are whipping Nader. What does that say about him?

Silly Republicrats!

My party isn't even on the list. But the Hamsters are whipping Nader. What does that say about him?

It means that if we can find an natural born American hamster over the age of 35, we ight have found our new President.

On a more serious note: I think you should change your silly laws and allow Arnie to become the Prezinator!
He's probably my favourite Republican, politically. He's not one of those neo-cons, nor is he a religious man. There's still some sense in him.
If the Republicans have to win and provide the Prez, I'd want it to be him.

"Dont be ekanamick Görlymen!!"

Silly Republicrats!

Damn right!

Vote Libertarian!

It means that if we can find an natural born American hamster over the age of 35, we ight have found our new President.
Show me the Hamster!

On a more serious note: I think you should change your silly laws and allow Arnie to become the Prezinator!
He's probably my favourite Republican, politically. He's not one of those neo-cons, nor is he a religious man. There's still some sense in him.
If the Republicans have to win and provide the Prez, I'd want it to be him.

"Dont be ekanamick Görlymen!!"

Sorry but even I will oppose a Constitutional Amendment to allow that to occur.

Sorry but even I will oppose a Constitutional Amendment to allow that to occur.
Why? What's wrong with him?
America is a nation of immigrants, and when immigration ends, "America" ends with it, instead being replaced by a stagnant nationalist brew.

His record seems to be okay, and California Gouverners are apparently well positioned to move a step higher.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schwarzenegger#Governorship
Perfect he isn't, but still better than pretty much all other Republicans I can think of (which admittedly aren't many).

Why? What's wrong with him?
America is a nation of immigrants, and when immigration ends, "America" ends with it, instead being replaced by a stagnant nationalist brew.

His record seems to be okay, and California Gouverners are apparently well positioned to move a step higher.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schwarzenegger#Governorship
Perfect he isn't, but still better than pretty much all other Republicans I can think of (which admittedly aren't many).

I believe in the Constitution of the United States. No Foreigner who immigrated here should be president. There is no good reason to change the Constitution of the United States of America.

No Foreigner who immigrated here should be president.
But why???
I thought it was meant to be the country of limitless opportunity.
And in case you're worried that evil terrorist agents come and become prez, I'd say that you should trust the people. It's their vote, and their choice. If they don't think Arnie is capable of being President, they won't vote for him.

But why???
I thought it was meant to be the country of limitless opportunity.
And in case you're worried that evil terrorist agents come and become prez, I'd say that you should trust the people. It's their vote, and their choice. If they don't think Arnie is capable of being President, they won't vote for him.

I'll go with the founding fathers. No one born here shall be president. I can see why they want that too. It goes back to when we were a part of Great Britain. We were ruled by a tyrant 3000 miles away.

Sorry but I will not support an amendment letting foriegners run for The Office of the President. I stay with what the founding fathers intended.

Sorry but I will not support an amendment letting foriegners run for The Office of the President. I stay with what the founding fathers intended.
Whosoever shall be guilty of rape, polygamy, or sodomy with a man or woman, shall be punished; if a man, by castration, a woman, by boring through the cartilage of her nose a hole of one half inch in diameter at the least.
Don't be too dogmatic.

Don't be too dogmatic.

Sweet! Castration for guys who commit rape. We should institute that and do it live on national television. That'll cut down on rapes dramatically. :D

That'll cut down on rapes dramatically.
And Sodomy!
But nose piercings might become rather popular...

And Sodomy!
But nose piercings might become rather popular...

HAHA! They are already popular now.

I "Really" should want a statesman for U.S.A. President, but at this point, I'd be willing to settle for a more canny politician.

Ya forgot Libertarians. Y'know the third party that holds more ofices and a larger ballot access then the Greens?

I would really love to see President Jeb Bush elected in 2008.

President Jeb Bush 2008?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Florida Republican Governor Jeb Bush for President 2008.

Jeb Bush is a popular Florida Governor, from Miami Florida,
actually born in Midland Texas, the Cubans like him, oh well
no-one is perfect, he is married to a Mexican, he speaks perfect fluent spanish, his son looks

100 percent hispanic and speaks perfect fluent spanish, that is a good resume in relating to the

hispanic vote.

And Floridas overall unemployment rate is 3.5 percent, one of the lowest in the nation, and

Florida leads other states in job growth.

While I would love to see Jeb Bush win in 2008, I understand the chances of another President

Bush following President George W Bush is not good, and right now it dosent look good, but alot

can change in politics, but dont think I am under any illusions here.

Text is based on a number of diffrent sources, it is very hard to find all the information one

needs with only one source.

I had to put this toghether piece by piece and I had fun with it.

Both sides agreed Jeb Bush and W probably got a majority of the hispanic vote in Florida, (as

did W.) but couldn't agree whether his percentage was in the 50s or 60s.

Republicans have traditionally fared well in Florida because of Gop-leaning Cuban Americans who voted for Jeb Bush by at least 80 percent and

are now joined by a growing number of Puerto Ricans, and Mexicans.

Florida Governor Jeb Bush is younger, smarter, taller more articulate harder working and better

looking than George W, Jeb Bush will be 55 in 2008 and 63 in 2016, the age his father was

elected President.

Jeb Bush speaks excellent spanish, has a degree in Latin American Studies, a Mexican born wife,

and lots of useful contacts with rich Mexican power brokers.

He did just as well with Florida Mexican Americans who now constitute a good part of the Florida

hispanic population.

As a longtime supporter of Israel, Bush also maintains a significant connection to Florida's

Jewish voters. He was endorsed in his two winning governor races by a national Jewish

publication, and won 44% of the state's Jewish vote in the 2002 governor's race.

Official Results,
Florida Department of State,
Division of Elections.

Nov 03, 1998 general election

Jeb Bush 2,191,105 - 55.27 %
Buddy Mackay 1,773,054 - 44.72 %
Others 282- .01 %
_______________________________
3,964,441 - 100 %

-------------------------------

Florida Department of State
Division of Elections

Nov 05, 2002 General Election

Jeb Bush 2,856,845 - 56.01 %
Bill McBride 2,201,427 - 43.16 %
Others 42,309 - .83 %
_______________________________
5,100,581 - 100 %

I would love to see President Jeb Bush 2008.

Dont think just because he is another Bush that would make it easy for democrats in 2008, Governor Jeb Bush could be a good president in his own right.