NationStates Jolt Archive

What is the worst pick-up line you have ever heard/used?

Go out with me and no one will get hurt.

I give it twenty minutes before someone (not me) posts "nice shoes, want to fuck?"

Probably "That's a nice dress. I wonder if it will clash with my carpet. Want to help me find out?" And yes, I was very drunk. And yes, it did work. **cough**

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Go out with me and no one will get hurt.
that one.. rofl.

I give it twenty minutes before someone (not me) posts "nice shoes, want to fuck?"

Probably "That's a nice dress. I wonder if it will clash with my carpet. Want to help me find out?" And yes, I was very drunk. And yes, it did work. **cough**

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Wait...you actually used that one!

:eek:

COME HERE AND I'LL RIIIIIIDDDDEEEE YA NOW!!!!!!!





it might work someday

"Nice shoes wanna f***?" :D
Well I've never used it but it's funny as hell

I've used several. Here's some of my top ones:

Your ass is so nice it should be in a Levi's commercial.

That dress looks great. It would look even better crumpled up at the end of my bed.

Do you like smoked meat?

Fuck me if I'm wrong. But is your name Bruce?

COME HERE AND I'LL RIIIIIIDDDDEEEE YA NOW!!!!!!!





it might work someday

Hmmmm...I'm gunna give that a pretty resounding no.

But good luck, anyway!

The pick up technique that actually works for me is making faces behind some other guy trying to pick up a girl.

I find a real conversation, being the gentleman, a sense of humour, and being damn cute works for me. Until you get rejected and swear revenge....

"Nice shoes wanna f***?" :D
Well I've never used it but it's funny as hell

Damn, seven minutes. I was too generous.

One I used recently was, "So, do you find me witty and sexy? No? Well keep drinking..."

Wait...you actually used that one!

:eek:

Yeah. What can I say? I suck. Plus, I was really drunk, and she would've said no whatever I said.

God damn lesbians.

This was one of the few girls in my program, I have been subject to a wide range of asinine pick up lines...

Some recent ones...

"Would you have sex with me?" - at least he was direct... :eek: (and it was a friend)

"This is my friend Jordan..." one Russian guy says, as him and his friend give me this... look... you know, the look when they hope they can get a response after laying down what they think isn't a bad pick up line.

A friend kisses me; I bite his tongue and his response is, "well, how would you kiss then if you didn't like it?"

Hmn...what else...?

"I can make a girl into a virgin all over."

I give it twenty minutes before someone (not me) posts "nice shoes, want to fuck?"

Probably "That's a nice dress. I wonder if it will clash with my carpet. Want to help me find out?" And yes, I was very drunk. And yes, it did work. **cough**

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that worked, goddammit how drunk was this poor women/man in dress...??

that worked, goddammit how drunk was this poor women/man in dress...??

It didn't really work, I just thought I would lie about it. I did think that the coughing and shifty eyes would give me away. But they didn't. And it was a woman. I have another post on this thread explaining this. She was a lesbian.

What is the worst pick-up line you have ever heard/used?

You do know that this suggests that there are actually good ones?

It didn't really work, I just thought I would lie about it. I did think that the coughing and shifty eyes would give me away. But they didn't. And it was a woman. I have another post on this thread explaining this. She was a lesbian.
i thought the cough was to emphasis the line where it said it worked adn the shifty eyes where to create impression of looking for next victi.. i mean lover!

i thought the cough was to emphasis the line where it said it worked adn the shifty eyes where to create impression of looking for next victi.. i mean lover!

Well, she may have said no the first time, but three hundred and forty nine phonecalls and a visit from my friend Ro Hypnol later, she said yes.

You do know that this suggests that there are actually good ones?

"All pick up lines suck, so I won't even bother."

"You're clearly too smart to fall for the ridiculous pick up lines most men use."

And the winner: "Nice shoes. Want to make love?"

"Hello, gorgeous, I'm carrying cash."

Call me fred flintstone, cause ill make your bed rock.

"Fancy a drink? Yes? Good, get me one too."

"Fancy a drink? Yes? Good, get me one too."

LOL.

Did you know your sig is too long?

LOL.

Did you know your sig is too long?
*cough*no it's not*cough*

Fancy a drink? :p

*cough*no it's not*cough*

Fancy a drink? :p

Why, do you?

Why, do you?
If you're buying...

If you're buying...

yes, I am.

Barman, two tap waters. Thank you.

"I like 'em young."

"It'll be our little secret!"

yes, I am.

Barman, two tap waters. Thank you.
You know buying implies the exchange of money for services or goods?

*downs both waters*

"Have you ever made out over there?"

Subtle :rolleyes:

I find that wearing a blood coated tunic and asking: "Should I dismember you in your alley way or mine?" Generally doesn't work, outside of drunks on Halloween that is.

"Fuck me and I'll give you ten dollars, if you don't I'll only give you five."

"A good ass is a terrible thing to waste."

I find that wearing a blood coated tunic and asking: "Should I dismember you in your alley way or mine?" Generally doesn't work, outside of drunks on Halloween that is.
Oh, no wonder I never have any luck. ^_^

Oh, no wonder I never have any luck. ^_^
Hey, at 3:00 am, after everyone at the Halloween party is decently drunk, that line works like gold.
Although sometimes people notice the fact that you have used that line 8 times, each time returning with 15 minutes, and none of your partners have ever been noticed coming back to collect their coats.
On the other hand "Do you want to die with me tonight?" can work. Mmm, Goth Cutters. Easier still, dead chicks don't seem to care much about your skill with one liners one way or the other.
Of course, non degenerates who have things like "a concscience" and don't like the fresh scent of desperation and manic depression probably will be less then pleased with the results of my methods, but that is their problem for not being a Sociopath.

OK, so what are the supposed "good pick-up lines" that contrast with the bad ones?

OK, so what are the supposed "good pick-up lines" that contrast with the bad ones?

"All pick up lines suck, so I won't even bother."

"You're clearly too smart to fall for the ridiculous pick up lines most men use."

"No, really, it tastes like strawberries."

"I have terminal cancer. I'm dying tomorrow, and I don't want to die a virgin."

"Back in pre-school, I was the donkey in the nativity play. Want me to show you why?"

And the winner: "Nice shoes. Want to make love?"

OK, so what are the supposed "good pick-up lines" that contrast with the bad ones?
They're in another thread.

Want to come over and see my new chainsaw and hockey mask?

I thought someone would have been impressed with the , "Fuck me if I'm wrong but is your name Bruce," line. I guess not. :(


You know what I like about high school girls. I keep getting older and they stay the same age. (Matthew McConahey [sp], Dazed and Confused)

Holds up hankerchief:

"Does this smell like chloroform to you?"

I haven't had the guts to actually use that one yet. Despite my intense training, my reflex times are still too slow.

"wanna go halfsies on an illegitimate child?"
I laughed because I thought he was kidding..... he wasn't:(

that has to be the worst I have heard for too many reasons to mention, but I am sure you can guess a few.

Generally stagering up to a girl; downing her drink; then introducing yourself just doesn't seem to cut it - although it did work once...

I find that wearing a blood coated tunic and asking: "Should I dismember you in your alley way or mine?" Generally doesn't work, outside of drunks on Halloween that is.

Ah, I can see your problem. Girls expect a bit of class, an alleyway just doesn't cut it (no pun intended). Try buying a new tunic, taking her out to dinner, giving her flowers and then dismembering her in an alley way. Actually, getting her stupidly drunk might be easier and cheaper.

While not the worst, this one is pretty bad:

"I've had my eye on you all night, and I'd really, really like to get to know you, and become close to you."

"I´m Captain Invincible, and I will not be penetrated!" never worked for me.
*shrug*

Fuck me if I'm wrong. But is your name Bruce?That's hilarious. I'd reward any hot guy who used that one with sex.

I thought someone would have been impressed with the , "Fuck me if I'm wrong but is your name Bruce," line. I guess not. :(
That line doesn't work very well, I tried it once. Turned out he was Steve and, while he looked pretty in a dress, he wasn't so pretty out of it.
*Shudders*

What is the worst pick-up line you have ever heard/used?
Heard: "Wow, you remind me of my hot step-sister. Wanna hook up?"

Used: "There gotta be a keg in your pants, coz I wanna tap that ass."

"Generally I hate women, but you're different"

Fuck me if I'm wrong. But is your name Bruce?
actually, yes. yes it is.


How about "May I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?"