NationStates Jolt Archive

You can't make this stuff up, folks.

From the LA Times:

One hundred Brentwood kindergartners, many dressed in costumes, were all set to go see "The Wizard of Oz" on Friday when their first-ever field trip was blocked by the nation's 43rd president.

They never got to see the wizard.

President George W. Bush, his Marine One helicopter grounded by fog, brought morning rush hour to a standstill while his motorcade proceeded from West Los Angeles through the San Fernando Valley to Simi Valley for the dedication of the Air Force One Pavilion.

"We had buses all loaded up - but by the time they got to school it was too late," said Julie Fahn, a volunteer mom at Kenter Canyon Elementary in Brentwood, where girls had dressed as Dorothy to see the play performed in Malibu.

"My poor children - they were so disappointed. They're all so sad. They were inconvenienced by a silly motorcade down Sunset (Boulevard)."

Bush's traffic jams - Westside to San Fernando Valley commutes Thursday night took up to three hours when traffic was rerouted because of a presidential fundraiser - added to the lore of a city notorious for its gridlock.

On Friday, police were alerted just before Bush began his commute. With only a few minutes' notice from the U.S. Secret Service, LAPD and city Department of Transportation cops shut down Sunset Boulevard west of the San Diego Freeway from 8:15 a.m. to 10 a.m.

Thousands of commuters, unable to cross the legendary L.A. strip except for intermittent breaks in traffic, were trapped with engines idling in miles-long jams.

John Brooks, a news reporter for radio station KFWB-AM (980), was unable to move for more than an hour as gridlocked motorists as far south as Wilshire Boulevard screamed at traffic cops barring their commutes.

"They were saying, 'I gotta take my kid to school - what's going on here?"' he recalled, adding that some had also grumbled, "Presidents always come to this side of town because there's big money here."

One glamorous Westsider suggested an alternate route for the president. Another wielded a sign that said simply, "Impeach Bush."

At a Starbucks on San Vicente Boulevard, motorists drank lattes in resignation. "A lot of people were stuck," barista Denise Johnson said. "Traffic wasn't moving. It literally wasn't moving. I heard a few horns honking."

As the presidential motorcade turned from Sunset onto the northbound 405 for a dignified crawl on a freeway cleared

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of other cars, the CHP closed freeway entrances and exits along the entire motorcade route.

Opposing traffic, unable to ignore the president, braked to a crawl.

"Southbound was wall-to-wall, creeping, except for the car-pool lane," said Dan Page of Simi Valley, who saw the deadlock from his Toyota Prius as he threaded the jam in the HOV lane heading for his job at the UCLA Health Center.

Like many from a region that overwhelmingly cast votes against Bush in 2004, Page was critical of the president's decision to disrupt the nation's busiest freeway commute.

"If he can sneak in and out of Baghdad without anybody knowing it, it seems like he could slip in and out of L.A. without disrupting rush hour - twice."

Lt. Joseph Peyton of West Traffic Division, who led the Sunset closure from the San Diego Freeway to Rockingham Drive, was proud to have protected the president, but was sorry for the logjam.

"We did the best we could ... it went without a hitch. Our command staff, with short notice, swung into action. It's the most outstanding moment I had anything to do with," he said.

"Unfortunately, there were inconveniences and we apologize for that."

In Simi Valley, police reported no traffic slowdowns.

For the children of Kenter Canyon Elementary who had planned to see "The Wizard of Oz" at Pepperdine University, their buses were 90 minutes late. They missed the last performance and will not be given a rain check on $6 tickets.

"All the Kenter Canyon parents, they are not happy with (Bush) right now," said Fahn, 33, whose 5-year-old twin girls had prepared for their field trip for months. "He's not at the top of any list.

"The kids did not see the wizard."

linkage: http://www2.dailynews.com/news/ci_3140261

Thats just pitiful. Boo hoo hoo, we missed a play. People need to grow up. And kindergartners need parents with a slim notion of the real world. The only thing I see thats messed up is that the theater won't refund the tickets.

Other than that, I see a nice lesson for the kiddies. "Life sucks, get a helmet"

You miss the point. Well, actually, you miss several points.

The first point is that President Bush is clearly a puppy-kicking kitten-drowning butterfly-hating meanie head.

The second point is that President Bush creates traffic jams, which actually explains most of the polling data we've got on hand...the places with the worst traffic tend to be big cities, and the biggest of the big cities tend to loath Bush. We all were thinking it had something to do with politics, but clearly it's a practical matter...would you vote for bad traffic?

You miss the point. Well, actually, you miss several points.

The first point is that President Bush is clearly a puppy-kicking kitten-drowning butterfly-hating meanie head.

The second point is that President Bush creates traffic jams, which actually explains most of the polling data we've got on hand...the places with the worst traffic tend to be big cities, and the biggest of the big cities tend to loath Bush. We all were thinking it had something to do with politics, but clearly it's a practical matter...would you vote for bad traffic?
AAHHHHHHH. My bad, I'm historically horrible at spotting and recognizing sarcasm. BTW, did you know George Bush eats babies too?:D

BTW, I WOULD vote for bad traffic, cuase it gives you a great opportunity to roll a joint!;)

BTW, did you know George Bush eats babies too?:D

So do I. What else do you think we lefties do with all of those aborted fetuses?

AAHHHHHHH. My bad, I'm historically horrible at spotting and recognizing sarcasm. BTW, did you know George Bush eats babies too?:D
Well, duuuuh he eats babies. You have to feast on the flesh of the innocent if you're going to maintain eternal life.

Let me be perfectly, and non-sarcastically, clear: I think Bush is a twit of epic proportions. I think he's a lousy leader and a lousy human being. But I really think the anti-Bush folks are doing more harm than good with this kind of crap. Why should anybody take them seriously when they drown us in syrupy tripe like this LA Times article? It's every bit as stupid as when the press started shrieking that Clinton's blowjob was warping the tender minds of a generation of adorable tots. As George Carlin said, "Think of the children? NO. Fuck the children. They're getting entirely too much attention."

As George Carlin said, "Think of the children? NO. Fuck the children. They're getting entirely too much attention."
George Carlin is a damn GENIUS!

So do I. What else do you think we lefties do with all of those aborted fetuses?
Personally, I thought you made shoes. I think I got ripped off on time square.:headbang:

Personally, I thought you made shoes. I think I got ripped off on time square.:headbang:

No, those are made from circumsised foreskins.

Bush sure knows how make friends ... enemies.

No, those are made from circumsised foreskins.
Thats why I keep tripping whenever I go into Victorias Secret then!

Thats why I keep tripping whenever I go into Victorias Secret then!

LMAO! :D

No doubt many of those saying "this is reality; the world is not constructed to your convenience" would be raising hell if Clinton had the audacity to commit such a deed.

No doubt many of those saying "this is reality; the world is not constructed to your convenience" would be raising hell if Clinton had the audacity to commit such a deed.
Of course. They would also be speculating that the reason the Presidential motorcade moved so slowly was because the driver was instructed to not disrupt the hummer Clinton was getting. They would also have "eyewitness" accounts of Clinton rolling down his window to lure kindergarteners into his clutches with promises of candy.

No doubt many of those saying "this is reality; the world is not constructed to your convenience" would be raising hell if Clinton had the audacity to commit such a deed.

Of course you can fall back to the ubitiquous "National Security" arguments.

Does he know what he has just done?! He's angered the voters of the future! The Republican party has just lost dozens of potential votes because Bush created a traffic jam!

Does he know what he has just done?! He's angered the voters of the future! The Republican party has just lost dozens of potential votes because Bush created a traffic jam!
Yes, I can see it now. The 2020 Presidential Election, President Douchebag (Republican) vs Senator Date Rape (Democrat), one of those tots walks into the voting booth, now grown and gone sallow in the face (hey sallow is a real word I so did not know that). He looks at his two options and considers:
I don't particuarly like either one of their tax policies, and I think Douchebags plan to hug every kitten in Zimbabwe should he get elected is a rather cheap vote getting ploy, as opposed to solid foriegn policy. On the other hand Senator Date Rape did once get accused of 6 counts of unnatural acts with a prawn cocktail, so this really is tricky.
Then, he remembers an event long gone in the past:
Wait, wasn't it a Republican who was reponsible for that traffic Jam that has scarred my mind for life due to not seeing a play when I was a little kid?! It was, well I am certainly not going to vote for any douchebag Republican like Douchebag, I am going Democrat hardcore and all the way!
(For people interested in Purchasing the Pornographic video series Democrat Hardcore and All the Way I-IV send a bank statement, a brown envelope full of cash, or a stolen credit card to H N Fiddlebottoms, me)!
From that moment on, that young lad is a Democrat for life, and countless things happen that might have happened differently had it not been for that traffic jam.

NOTE: If you saw a swirly dreamlike fog around your computer screen while viewing this narrative, don't worry. That was merely your monitor hurling special brain melting radiation into your skull. Try to avoid leaking on the carpet and remain calm.

NOTE: If you saw a swirly dreamlike fog around your computer screen while viewing this narrative, don't worry. That was merely your monitor hurling special brain melting radiation into your skull. Try to avoid leaking on the carpet and remain calm.
Cool, I thought I was too drunk to continue making fun of life and the people who inhabit it!

Boohoo, so what. Wizard of Oz sucked anyways.

Thats just pitiful. Boo hoo hoo, we missed a play. People need to grow up. And kindergartners need parents with a slim notion of the real world. The only thing I see thats messed up is that the theater won't refund the tickets.

Other than that, I see a nice lesson for the kiddies. "Life sucks, get a helmet"
You're a real pip, you know that?

Dear Lord, if the local traffic flow couldn't handle one motorcade without going bonkers, methinks that the crappy traffic of the area is the real culprit.

Dear Lord, if the local traffic flow couldn't handle one motorcade without going bonkers, methinks that the crappy traffic of the area is the real culprit.
Well, when that motorcade requires that an entire major highway be completely cleared of other traffic, and when said motorcade proceeds at well below the minimum speed limit for that highway, and when the people regulating traffic ar given virtually zero notice that the motorcade is coming, you can't really blame the highway designers...that's not what the system is designed to deal with.

Well, when that motorcade requires that an entire major highway be completely cleared of other traffic, and when said motorcade proceeds at well below the minimum speed limit for that highway, and when the people regulating traffic ar given virtually zero notice that the motorcade is coming, you can't really blame the highway designers...that's not what the system is designed to deal with.
Well, it seems the one side says you can't blame Bush while the other side says you can't blame the traffic. Why not split the difference between the two?

Bush is an idiot who disrupts people's lives by simply being in the same city, or in the same airspace, as ordinary citizens.

People are stupid for relying to too great an extent on the automoblie, and have let themselves be led around by their noses for far too long.

There. Now no-one's happy.

Well, it seems the one side says you can't blame Bush while the other side says you can't blame the traffic. Why not split the difference between the two?

Bush is an idiot who disrupts people's lives by simply being in the same city, or in the same airspace, as ordinary citizens.

People are stupid for relying to too great an extent on the automoblie, and have let themselves be led around by their noses for far too long.

There. Now no-one's happy.
Hehe. Personally, I think anything that discourages Americans from driving is a bonus, since we ought to be building better mass transit and ditching the poluting autos. I guess Bush is an environmentalist after all, since he's apparently doing his part to forward the anti-car agenda!

Thats just pitiful. Boo hoo hoo, we missed a play. People need to grow up. And kindergartners need parents with a slim notion of the real world. The only thing I see thats messed up is that the theater won't refund the tickets.

Other than that, I see a nice lesson for the kiddies. "Life sucks, get a helmet"

Yeah! I am so sick and tired of kindergarteners acting like children. They should just get a job in a mine and STFU.

Well, it seems the one side says you can't blame Bush while the other side says you can't blame the traffic. Why not split the difference between the two?

Bush is an idiot who disrupts people's lives by simply being in the same city, or in the same airspace, as ordinary citizens.

People are stupid for relying to too great an extent on the automoblie, and have let themselves be led around by their noses for far too long.

There. Now no-one's happy.

Actually I fully agree with you. :D

Yeah! I am so sick and tired of kindergarteners acting like children. They should just get a job in a mine and STFU.
That's pretty funny. Gymoor's posts are a wonderful tonic for the crabby grinch-like musings of the perpetual humbugs who haunt these fora...

You all make it seem like making kindergarteners cry is a bad thing.

George W. Bush hates children.

George W. Bush hates children.
I hate kids, so?:D

George W. Bush hates children.
Finally, a Bush platform I can get behind!

Yes, I can see it now. The 2020 Presidential Election, President Douchebag (Republican) vs Senator Date Rape (Democrat), one of those tots walks into the voting booth, now grown and gone sallow in the face (hey sallow is a real word I so did not know that). He looks at his two options and considers:
I don't particuarly like either one of their tax policies, and I think Douchebags plan to hug every kitten in Zimbabwe should he get elected is a rather cheap vote getting ploy, as opposed to solid foriegn policy. On the other hand Senator Date Rape did once get accused of 6 counts of unnatural acts with a prawn cocktail, so this really is tricky.
Then, he remembers an event long gone in the past:
Wait, wasn't it a Republican who was reponsible for that traffic Jam that has scarred my mind for life due to not seeing a play when I was a little kid?! It was, well I am certainly not going to vote for any douchebag Republican like Douchebag, I am going Democrat hardcore and all the way!
(For people interested in Purchasing the Pornographic video series Democrat Hardcore and All the Way I-IV send a bank statement, a brown envelope full of cash, or a stolen credit card to H N Fiddlebottoms, me)!
From that moment on, that young lad is a Democrat for life, and countless things happen that might have happened differently had it not been for that traffic jam.

NOTE: If you saw a swirly dreamlike fog around your computer screen while viewing this narrative, don't worry. That was merely your monitor hurling special brain melting radiation into your skull. Try to avoid leaking on the carpet and remain calm.


Teehee. (And btw, nice Family Guy plug. :P)

I eat children with tartar sauce.


Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

OMFG, You people need to know that not even the President can control the weather. So bad fog kept him from leaving in Marine 1!

This is really funny though. Thanks for the laugh though. I needed to read incompentence and humor.

These replies have lead me to a new idea so Revolutionary that it demands to be put into action: The I Hate Children Party.
Imagine it, an entire party devoted to being tremendous dicks. We can put Kitten Stoning legislation into effect, ban Children from going to public places, deprive Toddlers of the vote! It will be brilliant!

OMFG, You people need to know that not even the President can control the weather. So bad fog kept him from leaving in Marine 1!

This is really funny though. Thanks for the laugh though. I needed to read incompentence and humor.

...as opposed to merely writing it...:D

OMFG, You people need to know that not even the President can control the weather. So bad fog kept him from leaving in Marine 1!

This is really funny though. Thanks for the laugh though. I needed to read incompentence and humor.
I see we need to review the "Sarcasm and Wit" chapter of our writing primer.

You know, if those children were living a hard life of labor in the gulags, this wouldn't have happened.

I see we need to review the "Sarcasm and Wit" chapter of our writing primer.

Read my last sentence again and you would see that I did catch it :D

Read my last sentence again and you would see that I did catch it :D
But, you see, there was no incompetance in the making of this thread! And, as this thread has established, Bush's traffic-stopping escapades were carefully calculated (and quite effective) at advancing the Green Agenda! WHEN WILL YOU PEOPLE LEARN THAT THE CONSPIRACY GOES ALL THE WAY TO THE TOP?!?!

But, you see, there was no incompetance in the making of this thread! And, as this thread has established, Bush's traffic-stopping escapades were carefully calculated (and quite effective) at advancing the Green Agenda! WHEN WILL YOU PEOPLE LEARN THAT THE CONSPIRACY GOES ALL THE WAY TO THE TOP?!?!

But But, I thought Bush was to be stupid! That was why I voted for him. My faith is shattered :cry: :D

But But, I thought Bush was to be stupid! That was why I voted for him. My faith is shattered :cry: :D
I wish these leftists would make up their minds. Is Bush stupid, or is he an evil genius? Inquiring minds want to know.

I wish these leftists would make up their minds. Is Bush stupid, or is he an evil genius? Inquiring minds want to know.
As far as I know, the "leftists" have long since made up their minds. Bush is stupid, but his handlers are evil geniuses. Kind of like diabolical organ grinders with a poorly-trained dancing monkey.

These replies have lead me to a new idea so Revolutionary that it demands to be put into action: The I Hate Children Party.
Imagine it, an entire party devoted to being tremendous dicks. We can put Kitten Stoning legislation into effect, ban Children from going to public places, deprive Toddlers of the vote! It will be brilliant!
If I was a political party, I’d fuck it.

A worthy Sacrifice for the nation.

When i was a youngun i used to go to a friends plac and watch the video except i would never see the end because we had to go home.
Sure the easy answer was to watch the rest another day but no how about we stay till it finishes???

Bastards.

But But, I thought Bush was to be stupid! That was why I voted for him. My faith is shattered :cry: :D

It goes all the way to the top...but Bush ain't at the top.

He's actually remote controlled by Rupert Murdoch...who actually does have a weather machine. Murdoch also pays criminals to abduct pretty blond girls so that FOX can air, "Yup, she's still missing. And now back to Hannity and Colmes, where Sean has an interesting take on how Michael Jackson is running the Democratic Party. Sean?"