NationStates Jolt Archive

Once again I've gone out on a date with a woman I really, really, really - I mean really like (probably falling in love) and I could tell half way through that I'd crossed over the romantic zone and ended up in the friend zone. I hate when that happens. It always seems to happen to me. I think it's because most of the jobs I've done it's been 80 per cent women and 20 per cent men so I get into the thinking of women and end up saying too many of the right things (does that sound right???). Any help of how to get back into the romantic zone would be greatly appreciated. Someone help the nice guy for once. :headbang:

http://www.laddertheory.com/

Everything you need to know is at this website. I'm not joking.

You're acting like a quitter. Nice guys might not be famous for finishing first, but since when the hell did quitters win anything?

How do you know you're in the Friend Zone? You don't. Keep trying, and stop giving in so easily. Also

Once again I've gone out on a date with a woman I really, really, really - I mean really like (probably falling in love) and I could tell half way through that I'd crossed over the romantic zone and ended up in the friend zone. I hate when that happens. It always seems to happen to me. I think it's because most of the jobs I've done it's been 80 per cent women and 20 per cent men so I get into the thinking of women and end up saying too many of the right things (does that sound right???). Any help of how to get back into the romantic zone would be greatly appreciated. Someone help the nice guy for once. :headbang:

You don't think you might be confusing love with lust, do you?

I could give some really simple, useful advice, but I'm sure that the mods would disapprove of the language.

Suffice it to say that it's best summed up by:

Ask For The Sale

If you never ask for the sale, you'll never get it.

Landed in the Friend Zone, eh?

http://www.p0stwh0res.com/images/batmanowned.jpg

:p

http://www.laddertheory.com/

Apparently its part of the stupid.com network. Says something about the content?

Although a lot of it seems accurate.

Apparently its part of the stupid.com network. Says something about the content?

Although a lot of it seems accurate.

It's all over the Internet - I don't know who originally wrote it.

But it is very, very accurate. My wife agrees.

http://www.laddertheory.com/

Everything you need to know is at this website. I'm not joking.

Genius!

It's all over the Internet - I don't know who originally wrote it.

But it is very, very accurate. My wife agrees.

Well, that's all the proof I need. A random internet stranger and his "wife" who may or may not actually be attatched to his arm.

Well, that's all the proof I need. A random internet stranger and his "wife" who may or may not actually be attatched to his arm.

Heron, you've been to our blog, so you know whereof I speak.

Heron, you've been to our blog, so you know whereof I speak.

Oh, are you the same guy? My bad. No offense there.

Still don't buy the ladder theory, though.

Once again I've gone out on a date with a woman I really, really, really - I mean really like (probably falling in love) and I could tell half way through that I'd crossed over the romantic zone and ended up in the friend zone. I hate when that happens. It always seems to happen to me. I think it's because most of the jobs I've done it's been 80 per cent women and 20 per cent men so I get into the thinking of women and end up saying too many of the right things (does that sound right???). Any help of how to get back into the romantic zone would be greatly appreciated. Someone help the nice guy for once. :headbang:

Sleep with her younger sister. That usually does the trick.

It's not THAT unheard of that a guy moved from the friend zone into romance... and I'm speaking from experience here.

Just tell her what you want in an appropriate moment, and stick around. Might take a long while, though...

Romance her the good old fasioned way:

Whack over the head with a club
Drag her into a nearby cave
Have your way with her
Get stepped on by a T-Rex

Romance her the good old fasioned way:

Whack over the head with a club
Drag her into a nearby cave
Have your way with her
Get stepped on by a T-Rex
Nevermind that dinosaurs went extinct millions of years before humans walked the earth. ;)

Nevermind that dinosaurs went extinct millions of years before humans walked the earth. ;)
Did I say that said way was the "Human" good old fashioned way? No, I don't believe I did.
Just because you felt the need to spend the entire Cretaceous period drunk off your ass and oblivious to what went on doesn't mean that I didn't get a few cults started among the Guthurgle

You don't think you might be confusing love with lust, do you?

Definitely love!!!!!! The lust is there to though.

You don't think you might be confusing love with lust, do you?

Definitely love!!!!!! The lust is there to though.

How can you be sure?

Sally: We are just going to be friends, OK?
Harry: Great, friends. It's the best thing...You realize, of course, that we can never be friends.
Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape, or form - is that men and women can't be friends, because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry: No, you don't.
Sally: Yes, I do.
Harry: No, you don't.
Sally: Yes, I do.
Harry: You only think you do.
Sally: You're saying I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry: No, what I'm saying is they all want to have sex with you.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive.
Harry: No, you pretty much want to nail them, too.
Sally: What if they don't want to have sex with you?
Harry: Doesn't matter, because the sex thing is already out there, so the friendship is ultimately doomed, and that is the end of the story.
;)

Once again I've gone out on a date with a woman I really, really, really - I mean really like (probably falling in love) and I could tell half way through that I'd crossed over the romantic zone and ended up in the friend zone. I hate when that happens. It always seems to happen to me. I think it's because most of the jobs I've done it's been 80 per cent women and 20 per cent men so I get into the thinking of women and end up saying too many of the right things (does that sound right???). Any help of how to get back into the romantic zone would be greatly appreciated. Someone help the nice guy for once. :headbang:

Tell me how you know you are just friends now?

This ladder theory website is definitley on to something. I'll keep reading....:confused:

Once again I've gone out on a date with a woman I really, really, really - I mean really like (probably falling in love) and I could tell half way through that I'd crossed over the romantic zone and ended up in the friend zone. I hate when that happens. It always seems to happen to me. I think it's because most of the jobs I've done it's been 80 per cent women and 20 per cent men so I get into the thinking of women and end up saying too many of the right things (does that sound right???). Any help of how to get back into the romantic zone would be greatly appreciated. Someone help the nice guy for once. :headbang:
was this the first date??

Once again I've gone out on a date with a woman I really, really, really - I mean really like (probably falling in love) and I could tell half way through that I'd crossed over the romantic zone and ended up in the friend zone. I hate when that happens. It always seems to happen to me. I think it's because most of the jobs I've done it's been 80 per cent women and 20 per cent men so I get into the thinking of women and end up saying too many of the right things (does that sound right???). Any help of how to get back into the romantic zone would be greatly appreciated. Someone help the nice guy for once. :headbang:
Join the military and learn how to become a man again. Then try. :D

How can you be sure?

I get nervous when I see her. I don't think of her when I'm involved in self gratification because I think it will dishonour her.

Tell me how you know you are just friends now?

To paraphrase her: I'm not ready for any relationships right now. I'm glad we're friends.
DOH! :headbang:

was this the first date??

First date - yes.

Join the military and become a real man

I want a woman not a man. ;)

was this the first date??

First date - yes.


youre moving too fast. she could tell you were way more attached than she was way too soon. she did the only sensible thing.

i dont know if you can save this situation but you have to learn to slow down or it will indeed keep happening over and over again.

The Ladder theory is only true in 90% of cases.

I have female friends that I don't want to have sex with.

(And some that I do. :p)

The main flaw is the money/power thing. Some women find money/power a turnoff.

I have female friends that I don't want to have sex with.


Me too. The ones with scary boyfriends.

Once again I've gone out on a date with a woman I really, really, really - I mean really like (probably falling in love) and I could tell half way through that I'd crossed over the romantic zone and ended up in the friend zone. I hate when that happens. It always seems to happen to me. I think it's because most of the jobs I've done it's been 80 per cent women and 20 per cent men so I get into the thinking of women and end up saying too many of the right things (does that sound right???). Any help of how to get back into the romantic zone would be greatly appreciated. Someone help the nice guy for once. :headbang:

I've had similar problems to yours. I would always screw it up even when girls came onto me. I finally realized that the only thing holding me back was myself. The thing I was lacking was confidence, which is the thing that women find most attractive in a man.

I'd thought that to be confident you needed a good reason, something that made you worthy. But really self-esteem is something everyone has a right to, and it's something that you produce inside yourself regardless of circumstance. And it's essential to making it in this world.

Some girls just don't like nice guys, however much they claim to profess that they do, and will be happy to be friends with one but not want to date them. Some just prefer the "dangerous", rough, possibly abusive type. Just one of them things.

Tell me how you know you are just friends now?

To paraphrase her: I'm not ready for any relationships right now. I'm glad we're friends.
DOH! :headbang:

Well, you picked that signal up loud and clear. I think you better examine why you keep picking the wrong kinda women to date.

Nop you are as good as gone.

Some just prefer the "dangerous", rough, possibly abusive type. Just one of them things.

We call this bondage.

youre moving too fast. she could tell you were way more attached than she was way too soon. she did the only sensible thing.

i dont know if you can save this situation but you have to learn to slow down or it will indeed keep happening over and over again.

I don't think I'm moving too fast. I haven't done anything. I didn't ask her to do anything. Just did some harmless flirting. I've only gone brunch with her and gone to a movie. :eek:

The Ladder theory is only true in 90% of cases.

I have female friends that I don't want to have sex with.

According to the theory those friends are just lower on your ladder. Once you get desperate/horny enough they'll move up. The website also deals with your criticism about the rich.

Some girls just don't like nice guys, however much they claim to profess that they do, and will be happy to be friends with one but not want to date them.

I believe the ladder theory calls guys in this situation "intellectual whores".

To paraphrase her: I'm not ready for any relationships right now. I'm glad we're friends.
DOH! :headbang:


Ouch. Even reading that line sucks. From one "nice guy" to another, I give you this: :fluffle:

and this too: http://www.stwing.upenn.edu/~jenf/writing/rant04.html

it will make you feel better in a spitefull way. Its awesome.

I don't think I'm moving too fast. I haven't done anything. I didn't ask her to do anything. Just did some harmless flirting. I've only gone brunch with her and gone to a movie. :eek:

No shit? Why the fuck would you ask for advice and then just decide to ignore it? That's just silly.

Ouch. Even reading that line sucks. From one "nice guy" to another, I give you this: :fluffle:


There's one way to solve the problem ;)

youre moving too fast. she could tell you were way more attached than she was way too soon. she did the only sensible thing.

i dont know if you can save this situation but you have to learn to slow down or it will indeed keep happening over and over again.

I don't think I'm moving too fast. I haven't done anything. I didn't ask her to do anything. Just did some harmless flirting. I've only gone brunch with her and gone to a movie. :eek:
you have been on ONE date and you are in love with her. thats too fast

whatever you DID, it prompted her to tell you that she wanted to be just friends. that shouldnt come up. she obviously could tell you had already gone way too far emotionally and needed to put on the brakes.

that you cant even tell you move too fast shows that you have alot of work to do before you are ready for a relationship.

you have been on ONE date and you are in love with her. thats too fast

whatever you DID, it prompted her to tell you that she wanted to be just friends. that shouldnt come up. she obviously could tell you had already gone way too far emotionally and needed to put on the brakes.

that you cant even tell you move too fast shows that you have alot of work to do before you are ready for a relationship.

PWNED!!

I've got the "Friend Zone" to thank for my current girlfriend. Her last bf (cough..sucker..cough) got caught by it. Luckily, I was standing right next to them and caught a hint.

Don't mean to rub it in....

I've got the "Friend Zone" to thank for my current girlfriend. Her last bf (cough..sucker..cough) got caught by it. Luckily, I was standing right next to them and caught a hint.

Don't mean to rub it in....


That's a shame, because you're doing a damn good job

Oops, my bad. Sorry about that, honestly.

Once again I've gone out on a date with a woman I really, really, really - I mean really like (probably falling in love) and I could tell half way through that I'd crossed over the romantic zone and ended up in the friend zone. I hate when that happens. It always seems to happen to me. I think it's because most of the jobs I've done it's been 80 per cent women and 20 per cent men so I get into the thinking of women and end up saying too many of the right things (does that sound right???). Any help of how to get back into the romantic zone would be greatly appreciated. Someone help the nice guy for once. :headbang:
Try this out there studly:

Why Do Some Women Play Hard To Get? (http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi/47_dating_girl.html)

Best of luck!!:)

The Ladder theory is only true in 90% of cases.

I have female friends that I don't want to have sex with.

According to the theory those friends are just lower on your ladder. Once you get desperate/horny enough they'll move up. The website also deals with your criticism about the rich.

Well, the theory isn't quite correct. I'm a 19 year old. I have more hormones than a KFC chicken. It's impossible for me to get any hornier. And yet I still don't want to have sex with them. Whatsoever. Even if they "came out of the bathroom naked and presented themselves to me" as the theory states. Explain that.

And I remain unconvinced on the latter point.

you have been on ONE date and you are in love with her. thats too fast

I've known her for nine months and we've talked often. That was the first 'official' date. We've had coffee many times in group situations and talked.

Well, the theory isn't quite correct. I'm a 19 year old. I have more hormones than a KFC chicken. It's impossible for me to get any hornier. And yet I still don't want to have sex with them. Whatsoever. Even if they "came out of the bathroom naked and presented themselves to me" as the theory states. Explain that.

And I remain unconvinced on the latter point.

But are you getting it reguarly. If you are that's why you don't want to sleep with them. The latter (sic) point might be convincing if you spelled ladder correctly. (Just kidding ;) )

I've known her for nine months and we've talked often. That was the first 'official' date. We've had coffee many times in group situations and talked.

Maybe she just...doesn't really like you as anything but a friend. Maybe your only chance of getting her is to become a rapist. Maybe you should give it up and move on.

[COLOR="Plum"]But are you getting it reguarly. If you are that's why you don't want to sleep with them.

I'm not getting laid regulaly and I have female friends I don't want to fuck. Some of them, the thought is a total turn-off.

HMW pwns teh ladder theory!1eleven!!1

There is one and only one way to break out of the friend zone, and that's to date one of her friends and then ask her opinion often.