NationStates Jolt Archive


Swordsmanship

Refusing to Bathe
16-10-2005, 00:13
I am the embodiment of swordsmanship. The art and its practice, practitioners, history, terminology, and all other related fields, while they may not belong or be familiar to me, comprise my existence. I AM swordsmanship.
Mind you, I have never owned a (metal) sword before. I have no experience in fencing, aside from what I may have subconsciously gleaned from years of watching the choreographed fights in films and television shows such as Star Wars, Highlander, and Kill Bill. Despite this, however, I do not believe that my claim to Existential Swordsmanship is unjustified. Consider: Existential Swordsmanship is a title that has never been claimed. One may have audaciously declared oneself the Greatest Swordsman in the World at one point or another, but none to my knowledge have posited that they ARE swordsmanship.
My claim should not be accepted, however, simply on the grounds that it is unique. My argument can be broken down into three main points, which, for me at least, definitively prove that I am the living incarnation of swordsmanship. They follow:

1. As mentioned above, none have ever laid claim to swordsmanship as a literal state of being. As no individuals other than myself are currently vying for the title of Existential Swordsmanship, I can fairly declare myself winner by default. Because the contest has already been won, no further contenders may submit themselves for consideration.

2. As Existential Swordsmanship has not heretofore been so much as hypothesized into existence and I am its sole conceptual inventor, I have license to define and expound it however I see fit. As such, I define it as being me. This cannot be refuted, as I am the only living expert on the subject. Not only am I an expert, I am the one and only source whose opinion even comes close to being authoratative. Please, for the sake of your own dignity, do not try to argue against something you cannot know or comprehend. Were an omniscient being to exist, I am sure you would not care to argue with it about, say, the induced bimodulation of astroetheric spacetime.

3. Because my Existential Swordsmanship (or lack thereof) cannot be quantified by any existing scientific means, it cannot be disproved. While I realize that this by itself does not constitute proof, one must consider that a reasonable idea is sometimes as good as fact in the eyes of the scientific community. Black holes, for example, have never actually been observed, and physicists offer little more than conjecture as evidence for the existence of this particular phenomenon. Nevertheless, the black hole is now being presented as a fact in astronomy courses across the world, and do not even get me started on the quantum physics dilemma.

My Existential Swordsmanship has already been firmly established, and is not contingent on your agreement with any of the points I have presented here, or anyone else's. If you disagree, you can go straight to hell. Thank you for your time.
Colodia
16-10-2005, 00:14
I am the embodiment of swordsmanship. ..If you disagree, you can go straight to hell. Thank you for your time.
That's all I read, did I miss much?
Heron-Marked Warriors
16-10-2005, 00:16
That's all I read, did I miss much?

No.
Melkor Unchained
16-10-2005, 00:20
Umm... what?
Czardas
16-10-2005, 00:25
No.
Good, that spares me having to read as much as the first sentence even.
[NS]Simonist
16-10-2005, 00:56
Good, that spares me having to read as much as the first sentence even.
You read that far down without reading the original post?

That's dedication, man.

I second Melkor's opinion.
Czardas
16-10-2005, 00:59
Simonist']You read that far down without reading the original post?

That's dedication, man.

I second Melkor's opinion.
I saw the huge post and thought "OMG, well maybe I can figure out what it's about from the comments without actually reading it." So I did.
Gartref
16-10-2005, 02:10
1. As mentioned above, none have ever laid claim to swordsmanship as a literal state of being. As no individuals other than myself are currently vying for the title of Existential Swordsmanship, I can fairly declare myself winner by default. Because the contest has already been won, no further contenders may submit themselves for consideration.

Sorry, I called it first. I have dibs. You can still be asshattery or macrame.
Passivocalia
16-10-2005, 02:15
Let me see if I understand your argument, in summary:

1. You have invented a noun.

2. This noun happens to be a homonym with another noun, just as many words are (e.g. cleave and cleave, carp and carp). Just like many others, this newly-invented noun has no relation to its homonym whatsoever.

3. As creator of this noun, you arbitrarily define it.

4. Everything about you fits this newly-created definition.

Yup, that's airtight. No argument! :D
Teh_pantless_hero
16-10-2005, 02:23
Is anyone else disturbed by the topic combined with the poster's handle?
Passivocalia
16-10-2005, 02:33
Is anyone else disturbed by the topic combined with the poster's handle?

I'm sorry, I can't see what you typed; there's something wrong with my monitor. I think I may have some "strikingly entertaining, probably purposeful irony" stuck in there somewhere. :D
Uber Awesome
16-10-2005, 03:13
It could be some kind of satire on how people "justify" their belief in God through clever-sounding use of language*. The "you can go straight to hell" bit at the end supports that theory. I'm not sure though.




* There's probably a word for this, but I can't remember it.
Undelia
16-10-2005, 03:40
Clever.
Freeunitedstates
16-10-2005, 04:15
A samurai with no group and no horse is not a samurai at all.
-Yamamoto Jin'emon

In China there was once a man who liked pictures of dragons, and his clothing and furnishings were all designed accordingly. His deep affection for dragons was brought to the attention of the dragon god, and one day a real dragon appeared before his window. It is said that he died of fright. He was probably a man who always spoke big words but acted differently when facing the real thing.
-Yamamoto Tsunetomo, Hagakure
Refusing to Bathe
16-10-2005, 04:38
Are you calling me a phony, sir?
Melkor Unchained
16-10-2005, 04:40
Are you calling me a phony, sir?
Well, since you yourself have admitted to never having owned a metal sword in the first place , I would imagine that your performance in an actual swordfight [i]might just be a teensy bit different than your current perceptions of it.

Although, a lot of it would depend on whether or not your opponent had any idea what he was doing.
NERVUN
16-10-2005, 04:49
Although, a lot of it would depend on whether or not your opponent had any idea what he was doing.
Yup, but beware of the man who does not know, because they are the ones who usually end up acidently running their blade through you by doing something they're not supposed to do.
Teh_pantless_hero
16-10-2005, 05:03
Are you calling me a phony, sir?
No sir, we are saying you need a bath.
Potaria
16-10-2005, 05:17
Well, since you yourself have admitted to never having owned a metal sword in the first place [I have seven]

Would a No Dachi happen to be one of those seven?
Freeunitedstates
16-10-2005, 08:25
Are you calling me a phony, sir?

Calling? No. Flat out telling you. Like a guy who wears fatigues in a bar and calls himself a veteran. Now, I admit, I am into swordsmanship, but I don't own a sword, and am still coming up with funds to take iaido/kendo lessons. The point is, I am not just being obsessive over this, I plan on doing something about my interest. You just seem to want to brag about nothing in particular. Yamamoto would have something to say to that, but I'm tired and don't feel like opening the book. Maybe tomorrow.

Goodnight sweetheart, well, it's time to go,
Goodnight sweetheart, well, it's time to go.
I'd hate to leave you, but I really must say,
Goodnight sweetheart, goodnight.
Melkor Unchained
16-10-2005, 08:27
Would a No Dachi happen to be one of those seven?
No, unfortunately.