NationStates Jolt Archive

Yep. Here it is. The place to post misinformation regarding popular products and famous people. Please don't slander your fellow NSers. That's against the rules.

I'll start it off.

The reason Kentucky Fried Chicken has changed their name to KFC is because they no longer use chickens, they've genetically created a food-animal that has no beak, feet or feathers and is fed through a tube until it reaches the proper size. KFC can no longer advertise chicken because of this, if you'll notice the word chicken has been removed from their menus and advertisements.

Gerber Baby-Food recently was sued for falsly advertising "all natural ingredients" and lost, now they owe every child born between 1985 & 1997 $500 savings bond.

The President of Procter & Gamble appeared on the Sally Jesse Raphael Show and announced that "due to the openness of our society", he was coming out of the closet about his association with the Church of Satan. He stated that a large portion of his profits from Procter & Gamble Products goes to support this satanic church. When asked by Sally Jesse if stating this on TV would hurt his business, he replied, "There are not enough Christians in the United States to make a difference."

Arlen Specter admitted in closed hearings yesterday that he was both the second gunman and the abused sex-slave of Jack Ruby.

Ah yes...human stupidity... It makes the world go round...:p

This thread will be put in my sig, it's that worthy, or disgracefulm whichever you prefer.

This thread will be put in my sig, it's that worthy, or disgracefulm whichever you prefer.
Can't you find something better to quote in your freakin' sig?

Since 1988 Art Garfunkel and Paul Simon have been the same person.

Drew Carey killed a guy in his Las Vegas Hotel room during the AVN awards and paid to have it covered up. (Thanks Onion)

George Bush is plotting to destroy the US from within and establish communism.

(OK, that's only half-misinformation ;))

William Shakespeare really wrote all the plays attributed to Christopher Marlowe. When he discovered Marlowe had stolen them, he murdered him.

Corn oil is made from corn. Olive oil is made from olives. Baby oil is made from pressed babies from third world countries. What do you think happens to all those babies Angelina Jolie adopts when she gets tired of them?

Global warming isn't happening. The scientific community is deeply divided and no one agrees. Natural cycles dominate to the exclusion of all else. *

this post brought to you by Exxon

Jehovah's Witnesses are the only religion that's gotten it all right--forget what you saw on that Southpark episode. The writers got them mixed up with the Mormons, but that's okay, because it happens all the time. Remember--it's the Jehovah's Witnesses who have it right.

George W. Bush's daughters, Barbara and Jenna, are going to appear in a porno video featuring an Osama bin Laden impersonator and a Saddam Hussein impersonator.

I can't wait until someone brings up Richard Gere.

Anyway, Tom Cruise is gay. He is so gay that during the filming of eyes wide shut, he had to take lessons on how to have sex with a woman for his bedroom scenes with nicole kidman.

I can't wait until someone brings up Richard Gere.

Anyway, Tom Cruise is gay. He is so gay that during the filming of eyes wide shut, he had to take lessons on how to have sex with a woman for his bedroom scenes with nicole kidman.
I had to demonstrate on Nicole so he could see how it's done.

DCD, that sounds real.

Osama bin Laden had been featured in the background of a Johnson's "No More Tears" formula. He then found the people that cried while being shampooed, and killed them.

I can't wait until someone brings up Richard Gere.

Anyway, Tom Cruise is gay. He is so gay that during the filming of eyes wide shut, he had to take lessons on how to have sex with a woman for his bedroom scenes with nicole kidman.He's gayer than that--he's so gay that when he first started out in films, he went by his full name--Tom Gay Cruise. :D

DCD, that sounds real.


The thing about me banging Nicole Kidman? It is real!

He's gayer than that--he's so gay that when he first started out in films, he went by his full name--Tom Gay Cruise. :D

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/images/topgay6.jpg

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/images/topgay6.jpg
Where the hell did you get that picture!!!!!!! :D

The thing about me banging Nicole Kidman? It is real!

I like how you dumped her after they split up too. Real class there DCD.

The thing about me banging Nicole Kidman? It is real!
Yeah, but it's only part of the story--you only banged her after I taught you how, by showing you, with Katie Holmes.

Bill Clinton was once so intoxicated that he ran, naked, through the white house lobby, tripped over wires leading to a series of lights for a press conference and then crashed into a table. He ended up covered in pieces of roasted chicken. He quickly covered himself with a nearby girl scout's merit badge sash. To this day the whereabouts of the sash remain unknown.

Yeah, but it's only part of the story--you only banged her after I taught you how, by showing you, with Katie Holmes.
And I had to show you how to do it with a dead prostitute.
See Kids, Necrosadism makes the world go round.

Bill Clinton was once so intoxicated that he ran, naked, through the white house lobby, tripped over wires leading to a series of lights for a press conference and then crashed into a table. He ended up covered in pieces of roasted chicken. He quickly covered himself with a nearby girl scout's merit badge sash. To this day the whereabouts of the sash remain unknown.

I was actually at that party. The French ambassador just rolled his eyes and said "Zut alors! not again".


Hillary looked pissed though, it took her girlfriend ages to calm her down.

Bill Clinton has always been the secret puppetmaster behind the United States, ever since the Revolution, and only actually ran for the Presidency because he was going through his mid-life crisis.

The HP on HP sauce bottles stands for Hewlett Packard - the sauce itself is a blend of the three printer cartridge colours to form a brown, viscous substance that tastes good on bacon butties.

Also, the reason why John Major was such an atrocious PM in the 1990s was because he was suffering from Sleeping Sickness the entire time - no-one noticed because they assumed he was an average politician. The only reason he managed to win the '92 election was because Kinnock was a tool.

Bill Clinton was once so intoxicated that he ran, naked, through the white house lobby, tripped over wires leading to a series of lights for a press conference and then crashed into a table. He ended up covered in pieces of roasted chicken. He quickly covered himself with a nearby girl scout's merit badge sash. To this day the whereabouts of the sash remain unknown.
Yeah, I probably shouldn't have spiked Bill's drink...It seemed like a funny idea at the time...

The only reason he managed to win the '92 election was because Kinnock was a tool.
For a statement to be libel it has to be false, Tribes. I think that you just failed at NS again.

I like how you dumped her after they split up too. Real class there DCD.
Hey man, I just couldn't fit her into my busy schedule. Besides, Salma Hayak a much better lay.

Yeah, but it's only part of the story--you only banged her after I taught you how, by showing you, with Katie Holmes.
Sure. I aced that course you were teaching at NYU. How to bang the stars for fun and profit.

Can't you find something better to quote in your freakin' sig?
Yes.

IKEA's cheap easy to build furniture is routinely tested in their Mumbai factory by illiterate Indian children to ensure that the average Westerner is capable of figuring it out.

The source code to Microsoft Windows is actually written by a infinite number of monkeys, disproving the theory that a infinite number of monkeys at an infinite number of typewriters will produce the entire works of William Shakespeare.

For a statement to be libel it has to be false, Tribes. I think that you just failed at NS again.
That was false. Kinnock comes under the classification 'fucktard'. I was suggesting that Kinnock was a lower level idiot than he actually was. 'Fucktard'>'tool', y'see?

The periodic table of elements is actually a scam by the book industry to put more pages into chemistry books. The whole thing has gone out of control and now entire branches of industry are dependent on non-existent materials.

Global warming is man made and 100% of the scientific community agrees. Oh yeah and the sky is falling.....

Global warming is man made and 100% of the scientific community agrees. Oh yeah and the sky is falling.....

Actually, about 99% of the scientific community agrees, troll.

That was false. Kinnock comes under the classification 'fucktard'. I was suggesting that Kinnock was a lower level idiot than he actually was. 'Fucktard'>'tool', y'see?
Wrong Tools exist above Fucktards. Like the list went sort of:

Idjit
Moron <---- Average (American) Green Party Voter
Idiot
Dickhead <---- Your Roomate (should you have one) will exist here
Retard
Tool <---- Bacteria Exist Here
Jennifer Aniston
Fucktard
Fucking Fucktard

So you rendered the man a compliment, which is by definition not libel. Once again, you have failed at NS.

Jennifer Lopez once took a dump on Ben Afleck when they were humping. I know this is true, because some sound check guy heard them talking about it in her trailer when they were filming Jersey Girl, and he told his cousin who put it on the internet, so it must be true.

Alison Goldfrapp is really Bonnie Langford in a blonde frightwig, botox injections and expensive lingerie.

Cheney shot JR.

Actually, about 99% of the scientific community agrees, troll.

REad your own post on page 1?
TROLL

REad your own post on page 1?
TROLL
The problem here is that you're arguing that something which is generally accepted among the scientific community is untrue. No bastard has published anything which suggests that no manmade global warming is taking place, or offered a thesis to the contrary to peer review. The only dissenting scientists are employed by the people who are pumping this shit into the air, rather the way that Bush used to employ Colin Powell as a token ****** lefty.

REad your own post on page 1?
TROLL


Yup, and it was proper libel and slander. Why you had to interject something relatively true and then present it as libel and slander, I have no idea.

Wrong Tools exist above Fucktards. Like the list went sort of:

Idjit
Moron <---- Average (American) Green Party Voter
Idiot
Dickhead <---- Your Roomate (should you have one) will exist here
Retard
Tool <---- Bacteria Exist Here
Jennifer Aniston
Fucktard
Fucking Fucktard

So you rendered the man a compliment, which is by definition not libel. Once again, you have failed at NS.
Ah, you are using the Shatnerian system of nomenclature for general idiots (GIs). I was using the Lucasiinedn method of nomenclature. The Lucasiinedn method works almost in reverse to the Shatnerian method, except that 'Jennifer Aniston' comes top above Fucking Fucktard. I'll concede, the Shatnerian method is the more widely used, but I state irrevocably that the Lucasiinedn method is far more accurate. It includes John Major as a seperate entity, for example, Just between tool and Fucktard.

The problem here is that you're arguing that something which is generally accepted among the scientific community is untrue. No bastard has published anything which suggests that no manmade global warming is taking place, or offered a thesis to the contrary to peer review. The only dissenting scientists are employed by the people who are pumping this shit into the air, rather the way that Bush used to employ Colin Powell as a token ****** lefty.

I read SciAm do YOU read SciAm?

Yup, and it was proper libel and slander. Why you had to interject something relatively true and then present it as libel and slander, I have no idea.

SO your biased opinion is fact and my biased opinion is pinion?

I read SciAm do YOU read SciAm?
No, I read New Scientist.

No, I read New Scientist.

NS is'nt bad. I recall you pointing out that it's your opinion that those climatologists who dissent with the man-created climate change are the ahem 'house niggers'? of the oil company. You realize of course that those climatologists giving the most dramatic claims to the opposite are gauranteed the most funds by the NGO's THEY work for correct? Now while I'd love a nice little debate about scientific ethics and rigor I think it'sd off topic.

It appears that the bulk of climatologists feel that there is a global climate change taking place, and it's largely down to carbon dioxide emissions from burning fossil fuels. Those who beg to differ haven't yet published anything offering an argument to the contrary and are rather a minority. Given that, on what grounds are you claiming that climate change is a libellous fib?

SO your biased opinion is fact and my biased opinion is pinion?

Yes, as anyone who can read can readily determine if they have any curiosity on the subject. :D

It appears that the bulk of climatologists feel that there is a global climate change taking place, and it's largely down to carbon dioxide emissions from burning fossil fuels. Those who beg to differ haven't yet published anything offering an argument to the contrary and are rather a minority. Given that, on what grounds are you claiming that climate change is a libellous fib?

Off the top of my head Bjorksten published and he pretty much dismissed CO2 once again this is rather off topic.....

Yes, as anyone who can read can readily determine if they have any curiosity on the subject. :D

Well apparently I've read more than you have. Back on topic this thread was called libel and slander. You took that as an opportunity to take a cheap shot at those who you disagree with. I, impishley, decided to return in kind. Now you are crying 'No fair!" and whining a lot. No sense of humor you libs.....

Well apparently I've read more than you have. Back on topic this thread was called libel and slander. You took that as an opportunity to take a cheap shot at those who you disagree with. I, impishley, decided to return in kind. Now you are crying 'No fair!" and whining a lot. No sense of humor you libs.....

I only have no sense of humor about this because you conservatives eat babies and burn bunnies in order to make more CO2 :D

Off the top of my head Bjorksten published and he pretty much dismissed CO2 once again this is rather off topic.....
This is, but you raised the topic in the first place.
You're certain that Bjorksten is correct and the rest of the climatogolists are all talking shit?

This is, but you raised the topic in the first place.
You're certain that Bjorksten is correct and the rest of the climatogolists are all talking shit?

Let's take this to the global warming thread, ok folks?

P.S., when PaulJeekistan wears drag, he calls himself Ann Coulter.

I only have no sense of humor about this because you conservatives eat babies and burn bunnies in order to make more CO2 :D
Conservative? I'm pro-choice and pro-decriminalization. Careful with your catagorizations there.I'm a Libertarian. We enslave children in workfarms but allow them to use hairspray because we hate the environment.

Let's take this to the global warming thread, ok folks?

P.S., when PaulJeekistan wears drag, he calls himself Ann Coulter.

Evben I have more of an ass than Ann.....

This is, but you raised the topic in the first place.
You're certain that Bjorksten is correct and the rest of the climatogolists are all talking shit?

Gymoor raised the topic on page 1. And I am not certain that it is. I am certasin that thoise who say they are certain are stretching.

Conservative? I'm pro-choice and pro-decriminalization. Careful with your catagorizations there.I'm a Libertarian. We enslave children in workfarms but allow them to use hairspray because we hate the environment.

Well, I'm pro-death penalty and pro-small government. I don't fit into any easy category, but I do fit into lederhosen quite nicely.