NationStates Jolt Archive

1) There is no money. We give you what you need. You give us what we want

2)You work where we tell you, when we tell you

3) You will procreate. If this is done artificially or naturally, is your choice

4) Bisexuality in women is actively encouraged. So is lesbian sex in the street. Hot lesbians get more days off.

5) Gay men do it in their own time, where I can't see them.

6) Fat people will be forcibly exercised until they lose weight. The exercise will be running treadmills to power our electricity

7) No more private transport. Walk or get the bus, you lazy bastards.

8) Any criminals get hit in the face with a shovel, then made to power our electricity generators. Prisoners will be hit, in addition to the first hit, on the first day of every month.

9) All women will be required to make themselves available as love slaves on 24 hours notice.

10) Compulsory military service.

11) Police force will be abolished. Police work will be done by the military.

12) Healthcare will be provided by the government. If you don't like it, feel free to die somewhere.

13) All chavs to be executed immediately. I say what makes you a chav.

14) Piracy is legal.

15) Marijuana and all forms of pornography are legal. This includes kiddie porn, but only when government sanctioned.

16) No minimum age on drinking alcohol.

17) No immigrants/asylum seekers. Any of them trying to enter, get killed. Messily

18) Tobacco only cigarettes are now illegal. They're not cool, they're not fun.

19) All forms of rap and pop music are banned. Listen to them and die.

20) Free highspeed internet connections for all.

21) Anyone with an IQ under 115 as measured at age 13 gets no further education. They get shit menial jobs instead.

22) We will only have professional sports teams in Women's Naked Volleyball, Women's Naked Mud Wrestling and Poker. All other sports are only to be played by amateurs.

23) If you want to leave the country for a holiday, we will cut off your right hand. It will be reattatched when you return.

Where do I sign up?

Where do I sign up?
You just did. Passport is in the mail. We expect you to be back here at 9 am GMT on monday so we can assign you a work position and measure you for your clothing.

You just did. Passport is in the mail. We expect you to be back here at 9 am GMT on monday so we can assign you a work position and measure you for your clothing.
Wait...I live in California...

Shit, I basically I gotta hop on that plane half an hour ago, eh?

1 makes me suspicious.
2 sucks.

If you changed those, I'd say yes.

1 makes me suspicious.
2 sucks.

If you changed those, I'd say yes.

1 is designed to combat poverty. It depends what you need. Enjoyment is a need too, so it's not all bad. It just stops working class retards spending all their money on fags and booze and not feeding their kids.

2 does suck. But it keeps productivity up, and allows us to focus on key industries like porn.

:eek: never mind your kiddie porn strangness your going to ban rap!

14) does that mean I can sail the seven seas in search of booty?

:eek: never mind your kiddie porn strangness your going to ban rap!

14) does that mean I can sail the seven seas in search of booty?

All rap songs are about one of three things.

A) My girlfriend is hot. I want to fuck her. Instead I will talk about it because I am clearly compensating for erectile disfunction

B) I'm a bad parent but who cares because I can talk fast

C) I am hard. My love of weapons and violence is a ploy to hide my erectile disfunction

and yes, you can sail the seven seas in search of booty (powerful being of your choice help you if you are referring to ass as booty). But only if we say you can. See numbers 1 and 2 for further details. And we will only say you can if you abandon you're love of rap and see the light of decent music.

what decent music are you talking about Hip Hop?

:eek: never mind your kiddie porn strangness your going to ban rap!

14) does that mean I can sail the seven seas in search of booty?

Bad grammar is also out. This is why we won't be allowing the uneducated stupid people to write things. They get free internet, but no keyboards.

The bold bit should be you're.

Wait...I live in California...

Shit, I basically I gotta hop on that plane half an hour ago, eh?

well, if you're not very attatched to your toes, you can show up late

1 is designed to combat poverty. It depends what you need. Enjoyment is a need too, so it's not all bad. It just stops working class retards spending all their money on fags and booze and not feeding their kids.

2 does suck. But it keeps productivity up, and allows us to focus on key industries like porn.

Well, my question is...what would you want from me?

2..Would you place people in jobs that they would likely do well in?

what decent music are you talking about Hip Hop?

You die now.

No! heavy metal, or at least decent rock.

Well, my question is...what would you want from me?

work, loyalty, your blood in times of war, your organs when you die. Since your not a female, nothing else.


2..Would you place people in jobs that they would likely do well in?

Yes. And people work better when they are happier.

work, loyalty, your blood in times of war, your organs when you die. Since your not a female, nothing else.




Yes. And people work better when they are happier.

Ah. Sounds fairly good, then. What happens if I think it's an unjust war? (I have to cover all the important issues before becoming a citizen, y'know.)

Ah. Sounds fairly good, then. What happens if I think it's an unjust war? (I have to cover all the important issues before becoming a citizen, y'know.)

We aren't going to have unjust wars. Only defensive ones. Proper defensive ones, where we get invaded and then kick large amounts of enemy arse.

All rap songs are about one of three things:

A) My girlfriend is hot. I want to fuck her. Instead I will talk about it because I am clearly compensating for erectile disfunction.

B) I'm a bad parent but who cares because I can talk fast.

C) I am hard. My love of weapons and violence is a ploy to hide my erectile disfunction.
If rap was to change from the sucky state it is in now, would it be re-legalized? Also there is some rap that is not like that (ie Public Enemy, some Tupac), it has a serious message/opinion that is it trying to express. Would it be legalized?

PS-- for you may want to change it to parent/husband and add catagory D) I am much richer than you

If rap was to change from the sucky state it is in now, would it be re-legalized? Also there is some rap that is not like that (ie Public Enemy, some Tupac), it has a serious message/opinion that is it trying to express. Would it be legalized?

PS-- for you may want to change it to parent/husband and add catagory D) I am much richer than you

That's true. This is what we call a comic generalisation.

Actually, you're right, not all rap is pointless shit. Mostly the modern rap is,but most music from the last 5 years sucks. Maybe even last ten. Alright, any rap songs that don't fit those four categories (including yours) willbe allowed, but will be released on a government sanctioned comilation CD of which there will be four a year. Entitled "Now That's What I Call Herin-Marked Warriors Approved Slightly Better Than Shit Rap!"

But any artist who has ever done an album where he bitched about all his poor black brotha's gets his legs removed before getting on NTWICH-MWASBTSR!

I liek how you sneaked "****" into the title.

Good show, Carry Orn!

That's true. This is what we call a comic generalisation.

Actually, you're right, not all rap is pointless shit. Mostly the modern rap is,but most music from the last 5 years sucks. Maybe even last ten. Alright, any rap songs that don't fit those four categories (including yours) will be allowed, but will be released on a government sanctioned comilation CD of which there will be four a year. Entitled "Now That's What I Call Herin-Marked Warriors Approved Slightly Better Than Shit Rap!"

But any artist who has ever done an album where he bitched about all his poor black brotha's gets his legs removed before getting on NTWICH-MWASBTSR!
ZOmG11! Teh ubercuntry!!1

ZOmG11! Teh ubercuntry!!1

Damn right.

I wouldn't mind this place, actually...

:p I knew you'd come up with something, Heron.

And even though I'm female...

I still love it. Or at least, I think it's REALLY funny.

me--> :fluffle: <--some other chick

13) All chavs to be executed immediately. I say what makes you a chav.
What is a chav?

What is a chav?

The origin is much disputed. However, for all intents and purposes they are welfare recipient layabouts with a criminal/violent streak. Often identified by their stolen burberry baseball caps and hoodies.

The origin is much disputed. However, for all intents and purposes they are welfare recipient layabouts with a criminal/violent streak. Often identified by their stolen burberry baseball caps and hoodies.

Excellent work! You can be my Junior Chav Identifier!

:p I knew you'd come up with something, Heron.

And even though I'm female...

I still love it. Or at least, I think it's REALLY funny.

me--> :fluffle: <--some other chick

Comedy is the idea. Glad you like. Also, we should add :D <--me to that smilie

It's like a slightly psychotic heavan! Where do I sign up!

It's like a slightly psychotic heavan! Where do I sign up!

By posting in this thread.

TGing me your bank details gets you a fast track to government service!

Why do you ban cigarettes and not marijuana? MJ has more toxins than tobacco does, after all.

And why the hell would the government sanction kiddie porn?

Why do you ban cigarettes and not marijuana? MJ has more toxins than tobacco does, after all.
Actually, not true. Cigarettes contain over 400 chemicals, including arsenic and many other deadly substances.

Actually, not true. Cigarettes contain over 400 chemicals, including arsenic and many other deadly substances.
As do MJ "joints"...Except they contain about 7 times as many carcinogens.

As do MJ "joints"...Except they contain about 7 times as many carcinogens.

Well, you don't have to smoke mj. It's cleaner than tobacco if you smoke it straight.

Personally, I would rather eat it than smoke it.

Oh, and another thing, since when the fuck was this thread serious?

Got some questions before I sign up.
2)You work where we tell you, when we tell youis this only location or profession as well?

3) You will procreate. If this is done artificially or naturally, is your choicewhat if one is Impotent... not that I'm saying I am... But I gots this friend see...

4) Bisexuality in women is actively encouraged. So is lesbian sex in the street. Hot lesbians get more days off.will the men get Paid time off to watch?

5) Gay men do it in their own time, where I can't see them.errr just you? or is there a list that one can sign up for to avoid watching?

7) No more private transport. Walk or get the bus, you lazy bastards.does that include Bikes, skates and other non moterized vehicals?

9) All women will be required to make themselves available as love slaves on 24 hours notice.uhhmmm... are the men limited to one love slave??

13) All chavs to be executed immediately. I say what makes you a chav.what's a chav?

14) Piracy is legal.define Piracy.

22) We will only have professional sports teams in Women's Naked Volleyball, Women's Naked Mud Wrestling and Poker. All other sports are only to be played by amateurs.no naked Gymnastics? what about Equestrian sports with Naked Women Riders?

23) If you want to leave the country for a holiday, we will cut off your right hand. It will be reattatched when you return.and if their right hand is missing due to some accident... or will the health care system insure that the right hand is always saved?

Got some questions before I sign up.
is this only location or profession as well?

profession. But we will assign you something you are good at, and something you at least don't hate.

what if one is Impotent... not that I'm saying I am... But I gots this friend see...

interesting point. Well, then you can't. As punishment, we will use your corpse for Government Sanctioned Old Man Necrophilia Porn after you die.

will the men get Paid time off to watch?

Fuck no! Try and get a window seat in your office.

errr just you? or is there a list that one can sign up for to avoid watching?

Stick to the streets with brothels, strip clubs, bars and takeaway pizza places. While we work on the all seeing eye, those will be designated where I can see.

does that include Bikes, skates and other non moterized vehicals?

Bicycles are okay.

uhhmmm... are the men limited to one love slave??

Love slaves to me, fool! But now that you mention it, you can have as many wives as you like.

Also, my most generous new nationals get coupons for free love slaves.

what's a chav?

Chav: "a person who is uneducated, uncultured and prone to antisocial or immoral behaviour." Easily identified by their pathetic insults and love of burberry. KInd of like american trailer trash,

define Piracy.

Like stealing, but with more flair, and an eye patch.

no naked Gymnastics? what about Equestrian sports with Naked Women Riders?

We'll consider it.

and if their right hand is missing due to some accident... or will the health care system insure that the right hand is always saved?

We'll take a foot, maybe. Unless they're in a wheelchair, when feet are pointless. Then we'll take an ear, or maybe an eye.

Lastly, for your consideration of our system, you have won yourself a free love slave coupon. Good for one use, this will make any woman elligible to br our lover for a night. But only if I approve your choice.

HMW this sounds like a crazy ass dictatorship where people will suffer miserable meaningless lives, where do i sign, and how long before i start work?

HMW this sounds like a crazy ass dictatorship where people will suffer miserable meaningless lives, where do i sign, and how long before i start work?

You sign on the thread. You start work on monday, at 9am GMT.

HMW this sounds like a crazy ass dictatorship where people will suffer miserable meaningless lives, where do i sign, and how long before i start work?

Oh, and thanks for the compliments

Lastly, for your consideration of our system, you have won yourself a free love slave coupon. Good for one use, this will make any woman elligible to br our lover for a night. But only if I approve your choice.ALRIGHTY THEN!
you've convinced me.

Where do I sign up.
:D

First of all, don't use "leet" in a thead title. thats kinda stupid.

Also, nation idea is so stupid, that if that kind of nation existed, i would nuke it. WTF is wrong with you, Heron-Marked Warriors?

First of all, don't use "leet" in a thead title. thats kinda stupid.

You just don't get it, do you?

Also, nation idea is so stupid, that if that kind of nation existed, i would nuke it.

You really don't get it.

WTF is wrong with you, Heron-Marked Warriors?

Your mum dumped me. Just because I secretly made thousands of hours of internet porn from our extensive lovemaking in your bed. Bitch.

thats kinda stupid.

who are you to lecture me about the use of proper english, anyway?

First of all, don't use "leet" in a thead title. thats kinda stupid.

Also, nation idea is so stupid, that if that kind of nation existed, i would nuke it. WTF is wrong with you, Heron-Marked Warriors?
Someone hand me the stamp that has the word "Failure" on it, please? Or did we run out of ink?

What? No encouraging bisexuality in men?! Damn... Oh well, I'm in regardless. Anything to be rid of mainstream music.

What? No encouraging bisexuality in men?! Damn... Oh well, I'm in regardless. Anything to be rid of mainstream music.

Woohoo!

Bisexuality in men is netiher discouraged nor encouraged. we will allow gay marraiges, and polygamy, so you can at least be happy about that.

What? No encouraging bisexuality in men?! Damn... Oh well, I'm in regardless. Anything to be rid of mainstream music.and Male Homosexual activities must not be insight of our Glorious Leader HMW

when are those ALL SEEING Cameras going to be ready?

and Male Homosexual activities must not be insight of our Glorious Leader HMW

when are those ALL SEEING Cameras going to be ready?

Quiet, you!

Woohoo!

Bisexuality in men is netiher discouraged nor encouraged. we will allow gay marraiges, and polygamy, so you can at least be happy about that.
That settles it then. I'll be there, ready for work at 9 Monday.

I prefer working outside & I suffer from a mild hight anxiety that I always wanted to get rid of. I don't suppose I could be assigned to lay roofs?

Remind me to stay away from such a country as much as possible. No offense, but an anti-sexual like me would implode from the sheer amount of sexuality in your nation.

Remind me to stay away from such a country as much as possible. No offense, but an anti-sexual like me would implode from the sheer amount of sexuality in your nation.
We shall liberate you from your oppressors. Unless your the oppressor. In which case we'll confine you.

I'm in, but I have one request. I would like the following title.
"Almighty Grand Master of Porn & All things dealing with Boobies"
If thats taken, I will accept the following:
Breast Size Inspector

Vagina Elasticity Tester

Cunninlingus in Lesbians Couples Therapist

Naked Volleyball Line Judge

I've had about enough of these. Time to slap a big 'ol Masterlock on this shit.