NationStates Jolt Archive

my girlfriend keeps pushing to do it in semi-public places, i think the most so far is on a beach behind some rocks

my girlfriend keeps pushing to do it in semi-public places, i think the most so far is on a beach behind some rocks
that's just what sex needs, sand to get into all those private places, sounds like such a bad idea for a place to do those sorts of things

that's just what sex needs, sand to get into all those private places, sounds like such a bad idea for a place to do those sorts of things


Yeah seriously, veto the beach idea. Sand will end up in places that weren't even getting any action, and it's not pleasant.

i've finally figured out what the Mall's Balls are for: they're a public sex room that can only be accessed from underground by those people in the know, it finally make's sense to me now

I've only ever had sex in my mind...

I've only ever had sex in my mind...
ah, but where in you mind were you having sex? the medula oblongata? the frontal lobes? or one of the less sexy locations?

ah, but where in you mind were you having sex? the medula oblongata? the frontal lobes? or one of the less sexy locations?

Maybe it was a metaphor for anus...?

ah, but where in you mind were you having sex? the medula oblongata? the frontal lobes? or one of the less sexy locations?

The right part of it, which controls imagination, apparently.

Maybe it was a metaphor for anus...?

Dude! Not cool!

Maybe it was a metaphor for anus...?
so you're saying he'd say he craps through his mind? that makes less sense than usual

in a tent in a campsite.

Erm, on a golf course in middle-class suburbia in the middle of the night. And I will personally hunt down anyone who makes hole jokes.

Web Cam...

:D :D :cool: :D

On the subway.

On the subway.

Did you wipe the mess off the seat?

Erm, on a golf course in middle-class suburbia in the middle of the night. And I will personally hunt down anyone who makes hole jokes.

Did you lose any balls in the rough?

Did you wipe the mess off the seat?


No mess was left on the seat.

No mess was left on the seat.

Even so, i'm going to look a bit more carefully at the seats on public transport before sitting on them from now on. :p

Even so, i'm going to look a bit more carefully at the seats on public transport before sitting on them from now on. :p

Yeah, next time you're in Boston, watch where you're sitting. :)

No mess was left on the seat.Now I get it..

You jerked-off inside your jeans...must be the extra-baggy style Jeans...

:D :D :eek: :D
Like Fass says...I kid..I Kid...

On the subway.

Is that even possible???

There's barely room to sit in a subway train!

Is that even possible???

There's barely room to sit in a subway train!

Sure is. I wouldn't recommend doing it at 5:30pm, but at 11pm or 12pm, the trains aren't that crowded.

my girlfriend keeps pushing to do it in semi-public places, i think the most so far is on a beach behind some rocks
Scratch the beach idea. Don't have a go at it on bared rockwool either. Or in a nettle bush.

I think the most public places I've had sex have been in a central train station, at a concert with roughly 10000 people, and in a train during rushhour.

I'm not certain I've ever had sex amongst a ton of perfect strangers while sober, but I could be wrong.

Noplace really interesting. Just in my car in the parking lot of a restaurant while it was open on a Saturday night.

Did you lose any balls in the rough?

Slipped through the net! Gah! Well done Kanabia, and no, we left with all our balls intact. We did it on the fairway, if you think you can get any mileage out of that ;)

Slipped through the net! Gah! Well done Kanabia, and no, we left with all our balls intact. We did it on the fairway, if you think you can get any mileage out of that ;)

Was the grass cut short enough?

Don't underestimate me. ;)

Was the grass cut short enough?

Don't underestimate me. ;)

...I wasn't. I just didn't think it was possible to get mileage out of that. Blimey.

*grin* And yes, it was ;)

So, Kanabia, so quick to joke - what about you? Where's the most public place you've done it? Hmm?

So, Kanabia, so quick to joke - what about you? Where's the most public place you've done it? Hmm?

Does masturbating while snooping through sex threads on NS count?

EDIT- Did that one scare you off, eh? *prods* :p

A resturant . At lunch time .

Yeah, next time you're in Boston, watch where you're sitting. :)


you would be a personal hero if it wernt for the fact that I'm going to have to be afraid of sticking to the seat from now on.



which line?

I know not what is this "sex" you speak of...

In a friend's garden. At 3 in the afternoon.

With his mother:eek:

Did you lose any balls in the rough?
Ooooooooooooooooooh.... Cuss.

Does masturbating while snooping through sex threads on NS count?

EDIT- Did that one scare you off, eh? *prods* :p

My jaw still hasn't closed, as I type.

I know not what is this "sex" you speak of...
"Sex" is an suffix sometimes attached to Counties. Examples are Middlesex, Wessex, and Oralsex.

EDIT: To make me look more like "t3h 5m4rt13".

"sex" is an antecedent attached to towns in England. Examples are Middlesex, Wessex, and Oralsex.
Surely you mean a suffix?

I haven't had sex. :(

In the prison showers...

I haven't had sex. :(
Well, keep trying.
If all else fails prostitutes are a sure thing.

"sex" is an antecedent attached to towns in England. Examples are Middlesex, Wessex, and Oralsex.

Only Oralsex is actually a town. I live there.

in a tree house at a public park. (it was 3am so no kids around.)

Public beach, 4th of July-more or less in front of everybody, but the 'good part' was underwater.

Amongst some trees at a park with people walking their dogs not far away

>.>

Surely you mean a suffix?
Don't make me bust out my mad grammer skillz! I know very well how to spreche Englisch, and I won't be confused by any fancy "edjukashun."

Only Oralsex is actually a town. I live there.
Middlesex and Wessex are actually counties, and the irony in the statement was supposed to be caused by starting out using very proper town related terminology (and thus missing the point) and then returning with an artful sex pun.
So, yeah, town=county and antecedent=suffix, or that was the way things were supposed to be. I guess that is what you get you are trying to pound off one-liners in between customers.

Don't make me bust out my mad grammer skillz! I know very well how to spreche Englisch, and I won't be confused by any fancy "edjukashun."


Middlesex and Wessex are actually counties, and the irony in the statement was supposed to be caused by starting out using very proper town related terminology (and thus missing the point) and then returning with an artful sex pun.
So, yeah, town=county and antecedent=suffix, or that was the way things were supposed to be. I guess that is what you get you are trying to pound off one-liners in between customers.

I got the point, it just wasn't accurate. pLus I wanted to claim I live in Oralsex.

My bedroom.

Maybe that doesn't sound very risque to you, but my room is on the 2nd floor and overlooks the street. There is a hedge on the edge of the building which makes it look as if you can't see into my room from the street.

But you can.

And I found out the morning after a session of horizontal wrestling with my girlfriend on the floor next to my window, when the building superintendant told me that we actually drew a little crowd. Ever since then, he only talks to me with monosyllables.

But his wife has been extra nice to me.

LMFAO!

does this count as spamming?

in the "nosebleed" seats of Riverfront Stadium during a Reds game. But don't worry, most of the people up there were too busy smoking pot to notice :D

"Sex" is an suffix sometimes attached to Counties. Examples are Middlesex, Wessex, and Oralsex.

EDIT: To make me look more like "t3h 5m4rt13".


You know, Wessex used to mean 'Land of the West-Saxons', just like Sussex meant 'South-Saxons' and Essex meant 'East-Saxons'. I keep wondering what happeend to the North-Saxons?

You know, Wessex used to mean 'Land of the West-Saxons', just like Sussex meant 'South-Saxons' and Essex meant 'East-Saxons'. I keep wondering what happeend to the North-Saxons?
lmao nicely done :D i hope you meant that joke...

You know, Wessex used to mean 'Land of the West-Saxons', just like Sussex meant 'South-Saxons' and Essex meant 'East-Saxons'. I keep wondering what happeend to the North-Saxons?
It was the Angles further north - Angles Saxons and Jutes methinks.

And just in case anyone thinks I'm hijacking: Me @ the rest of this thread - :eek: :D

On the deck in back of our house (there are five houses that overlook our backyard).

Clear night, full moon high in the sky, we're both completely naked and we did EVERYTHING.

A neighbor who was watching her dog in the backyard from her porch watched us for a while in silence, and then went inside.

Apparently, she didn't have a problem with it.

you would be a personal hero if it wernt for the fact that I'm going to have to be afraid of sticking to the seat from now on.



which line?

Green line. And there was no mess made on the seat. No bare skin nor bodily fluids touched the seat.

More than 20 years ago, my girlfriend and I had sex on Joyce Kilmer's grave. It's in a military cemetery in France, so it's pretty exposed, but we were there very early in the morning and nobody was around.

More than 20 years ago, my girlfriend and I had sex on Joyce Kilmer's grave. It's in a military cemetery in France, so it's pretty exposed, but we were there very early in the morning and nobody was around.
I find that very disturbing.

I find that very disturbing.

That was more or less the point of doing it.

Ironically, there were no trees near the gravesite.

In South Island's mind.

That was more or less the point of doing it.

Ironically, there were no trees near the gravesite.
Trees? ... Now you got me all confused.
I find having sex on a grave wildly disturbing, not because it's a public place, but because it's disrespectful of other people's religion, beliefs and feelings.

In South Island's mind.
hehe... you'd have to change the quote to 'everyone sucks in their own special place' though :p

Trees? ... Now you got me all confused.
I find having sex on a grave wildly disturbing, not because it's a public place, but because it's disrespectful of other people's religion, beliefs and feelings.

Joyce Kilmer was the author of the poem "Trees."

It's too bad that religions go about making sex a bad thing, but it wasn't my idea. I find their attempts at enforced inhibition disrespectful of humanity and romance in general. Still, I don't try to stop them from not enjoying their lives to the fullest extent possible. What other people choose to believe in isn't a concern of mine, but I'm sure my lack of agreement with it will shortly be revealed as a concern of theirs.

Everytime you eat a cheeseburger you're disrespecting Judaism, but people still do it all the time. Why should sex be any different than diet in this regard?

hehe... you'd have to change the quote to 'everyone sucks in their own special place' though :p
Heh, I see. *UNPLODES*

Joyce Kilmer was the author of the poem "Trees."

It's too bad that religions go about making sex a bad thing, but it wasn't my idea. I find their attempts at enforced inhibition disrespectful of humanity and romance in general. Still, I don't try to stop them from not enjoying their lives to the fullest extent possible. What other people choose to believe in isn't a concern of mine, but I'm sure my lack of agreement with it will shortly be revealed as a concern of theirs.

Everytime you eat a cheeseburger you're disrespecting Judaism, but people still do it all the time. Why should sex be any different than diet in this regard?
Nothing wrong with having sex, but having sex on a grave to me just seems wrong. it's not like eating a cheese burger, but eating a cheese burger right in front of that wall in jerusalem. or something.
I've been brought up catholic, maybe that's why despite the fact that I don't believe in it, i still feel it is just plain wrong to dishonour a grave in that way.
But seen as this was 20 years ago and I was concentrating all my efforts on trying to learn how to speak at that time, you're excused ;)

Lets just say that it involves a lake, my truck, and about 6 or 7 hours (started around 3 or 4 in the afternoon in the middle of the summer)...

Green line. And there was no mess made on the seat. No bare skin nor bodily fluids touched the seat.


ha...I'm not so much worried about you...more thinking of how many other people have done the same and wern't so safe. I was hoping the green line was safe becase so much of it is above ground.

Although, I do have to say that it would see like you got your 1.25 worth.

Nothing wrong with having sex, but having sex on a grave to me just seems wrong. it's not like eating a cheese burger, but eating a cheese burger right in front of that wall in jerusalem. or something.
I've been brought up catholic, maybe that's why despite the fact that I don't believe in it, i still feel it is just plain wrong to dishonour a grave in that way.
But seen as this was 20 years ago and I was concentrating all my efforts on trying to learn how to speak at that time, you're excused ;)

Well, thanks for the dispensation! :)

My girlfriend at the time was very interested in breaking taboos, and I admit that the whole thing was her idea, as much as I'd like to take credit for it.

But think about it... why is having sex dishonoring a grave? We didn't dig the thing up, and Mr. Kilmer had been dead for more than six decades at the time.

People have all sorts of taboos about sex that really don't make too much sense. They've settled on this particular biological function as being somehow morally different from all others. Almost no one would feel that we'd dishonored the grave if, for example, we'd had a picnic on it or if we'd jogged over it or yawned while standing on it... but one quick orgasm and everything changes.

Sex is a powerful thing in people's minds, I think, and things that seem powerful are what get turned into taboos. Power is reserved for the gods in a way. The Hawaiians and ancient Egyptians both put people to death for stepping on the shadow of a member of the priesthood or nobility, just like sex without divine sanction has led to a nasty execution in many old cultures (and still today in some existent ones).

Anyhow, it's probably not something I'd do at this stage of my life - not for a fear of breaking taboo or divine retribution, but because with my luck I'd get arrested!

My jaw still hasn't closed, as I type.

Heheheheheheh. Mission accomplished. *cracks knuckles*

Lets just say that it involves a lake, my truck, and about 6 or 7 hours (started around 3 or 4 in the afternoon in the middle of the summer)...
I'm especially interested to know how you managed to spend 6-7 hours having sex alone. :D

I'm especially interested to know how you managed to spend 6-7 hours having sex alone. :D

Ahhhh, unlike some people that frequent this forum I do not lack for female companionship...

ha...I'm not so much worried about you...more thinking of how many other people have done the same and wern't so safe. I was hoping the green line was safe becase so much of it is above ground.

Although, I do have to say that it would see like you got your 1.25 worth.

It was in between North Station and Kenmore.

Ahhhh, unlike some people that frequent this forum I do not lack for female companionship...
It still counts if you paid for it...or if it's made of plastic.

It still counts if you paid for it...or if it's made of plastic.
I don't know, myself. All he mentioned was the lake and the truck, and it's certainly very hard to have sex with either. (Believe me, I know from experience.)

with regards to the truck;
2 words - tailpipe, foam insulation tubing - how hard can it be?
also, switch the engine off first!

I don't know, myself. All he mentioned was the lake and the truck, and it's certainly very hard to have sex with either. (Believe me, I know from experience.)
Maybe you were doing it incorrectly. I don't think it works very well when you do it in the cigarette lighter.

Maybe you were doing it incorrectly. I don't think it works very well when you do it in the cigarette lighter.
That might have accounted for my hangover then...

i think kanabia did it in a vegemite factory :p

this topic has got weird and scary... well what to add then... erm you guys make me wish i was younger, and innocent and didnt know what a forum was!

Maybe you were doing it incorrectly. I don't think it works very well when you do it in the cigarette lighter.

Exhaust pipe isn't too bad; like a slightly past middle aged cheap hooker.

but wait for it to cool down first!

but wait for it to cool down first!
Is that experience talking? :p

my girlfriend keeps pushing to do it in semi-public places, i think the most so far is on a beach behind some rocks

Veto the sand, it isn't worth the pain unless there are at least 30 people watching.