NationStates Jolt Archive

How many members of the Bush administration does it take to change a light bulb? Ten.

1. One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed.
2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed.
3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb.
4. One to tell the nations of the world that they are either for changing the light bulb or for eternal darkness.
5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Halliburton for the new light bulb.
6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a step ladder under the banner "Bulb Accomplished"
7. One administration insider to resign and in detail reveal how Bush was literally 'in the dark' the whole time.
8. One to viciously smear #7.
9. One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has had a strong light-bulb-changing policy all along.
10. And finally, one to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.

Heard the one about U2? "One: Bono holds it, and the world revolves around him."

You sound rather bitter...... :)

(The following was written by me. Oh, and I actually vote Democrat, so don't take it personally.)

How Many Liberals It Takes To Screw In a Light-Bulb: Ten.

1. One President to explain that we need higher taxes to pay for the lightbulb.
2. One fat slutty intern to suck that President's dick.
3. One aide to give the President a cigar to molest that intern with.
4. One ugly bitch to hinder the investigation into the fact that #2 is sucking the President's dick.
5. One to explain that everyone should share the same lightbulb.
6. One to say that in order to protect that lightbulb, all potentially dangerous objects must be registered with the government.
7. One to cut funding to lightbulb defense (despite #6).
8. One to explain why minorities should be able to use the lightbulb first.
9. One black Reverend to denounce opponents of "affirmative lighting" as racist.
10. And finally, one to successfully lobby and change the official name "lightbulb," to simply "bulb," because "light" is a reference to Christ.

Hahaha. I particularly like #10 on the liberal one. Both of those are truly hilarious. :D

Hahaha, good stuff!