NationStates Jolt Archive

In the thread "Fathers (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=448800)," the subject of "maturity" came up. I would love to know what you think about this subject. What is your definition of maturity? How do you get it? Who do you know who has "maturity?" What are the people who have it like?

Here's one defintion (http://www.uwec.edu/counsel/pubs/defnMaturity.htm) I found that comes pretty close to how I view maturity:

"The adult with a capacity for true maturity is one who has grown out of childhood experiences without losing childhood's best traits. He has retained the basic emotional strengths of infancy, the stubborn autonomy of "toddlerhood", the capacity for wonder and pleasure and playfulness of the preschool years, the capacity for affiliation and intellectual curiosity of the school years, and the idealism and passion of adolescence. He has incorporated these into a new pattern of simplicity dominated by adult stability, wisdom, knowledge, sensitivity to other people, responsibility, strength, and purposefulness."

Don't act like an ass and you will be mature.

I don't think there's a better definition than the one you provided. I agree with it completely.

How is one classified if he outgrows childhood experiences, but loses childhoods best traits?

Don't act like an ass and you will be mature.
LOL! Um ... ok, but now you need to define what you mean by "don't act like an ass!" :D

I don't think there's a better definition than the one you provided. I agree with it completely.
Kewl! :D

How is one classified if he outgrows childhood experiences, but loses childhoods best traits?
"Grouchy?" ;)

How about "overly controlled?"

Don't act like an ass and you will be mature.
'bout summs it up for me

Difficult to tell. It seems to be a lot about mid-points and means: having the ability to take oneself seriously and the ability to laugh at oneself, or being willing to become partially, but not totally, emotionally dependent on someone else.

Kewl! :D

I do believe however that the one true sign of manhood is when you recieve your first....big peice of chicken :p

... being willing to become partially, but not totally, emotionally dependent on someone else.
Please say more about this. What do you mean by "emotionally dependent?"

I do believe however that the one true sign of manhood is when you recieve your first....big peice of chicken :p
LOL! Um ... somehow I don't exactly see that as one of the signs of "true manhood." Tasty, yes, but "mature?" Hmmm. ;)

LOL! Um ... ok, but now you need to define what you mean by "don't act like an ass!" :D

Exactly what it says really....

Please say more about this. What do you mean by "emotionally dependent?"

What I mean by "emotional dependence" is the bit about having friends and partners whose emotional states, opinions and moods matter to you, because the extremes of this can well be characterised as immaturity. Almost everyone is in some ways dependent on other people. A great many think they aren't, but to truly not care about anyone else's opinion of you at all is a scary, pseudo-psychopathic trait. On the other hand, it is definitely immature to weep and wail if one's girlfriend doesn't call for a chat one night when she says she will, and to panic and lose sleep that night that it means she no longer loves you.

I suppose, in a way, this is a matter of confidence, but a specific branch of confidence which I feel deserves its own categorisation while we study maturity. The vice of excess (forgive the Aristotlean terms) is described as arrogance, pride, selfishness, while the vice of deficiency is to be too closely attached to someone else's view of one, manifesting as clinginess, for example.

Maturity is having normal pursuits, for example things other than being a member of an online game community with a postcount in the thousands. :p

I think we confuse growing up with maturity all the time. I think maturity is all about wisdom and wisdom is all about learning from your experiences. I think far too many people forget the lessons they learned in childhood and then we call them mature. Maturity has nothing to do with 'acting grown up'. It has to do with taking responsibility for your actions and being accountable for your mistakes. Some people and most politicians never learn this lesson. It has to do with accepting the things you cannot change and addressing the things you can. To the poster above, I think maturity is sometimes specifically about being willing to act like an ass (under the subjective opinion of others) and knowing when it's appropriate to do so.

And I think the biggest part of maturity is owning who you are. You are the sum of your experiences, your desires, your dreams, you fantasies, you triumphs and your shortcomings. Blaming your parents for who you are as an adult is about as useful as blaming our ancestors for being omnivores. It might be accurate, but it's not useful. Wishing away your childhood or even certain events is like wishing yourself away. An if you don't like who you are as an adult, change it. Own yourself, because no one else is going to. The day you take ownership for who you are and the actions you take is the day you've hit the level of maturity appropriate for an adult.

Note how I didn't mention age even once.

What I mean by "emotional dependence" is the bit about having friends and partners whose emotional states, opinions and moods matter to you, because the extremes of this can well be characterised as immaturity. Almost everyone is in some ways dependent on other people. A great many think they aren't, but to truly not care about anyone else's opinion of you at all is a scary, pseudo-psychopathic trait. On the other hand, it is definitely immature to weep and wail if one's girlfriend doesn't call for a chat one night when she says she will, and to panic and lose sleep that night that it means she no longer loves you.

I suppose, in a way, this is a matter of confidence, but a specific branch of confidence which I feel deserves its own categorisation while we study maturity. The vice of excess (forgive the Aristotlean terms) is described as arrogance, pride, selfishness, while the vice of deficiency is to be too closely attached to someone else's view of one, manifesting as clinginess, for example.

I think you're attempting to define the difference between dependence, independence and interdependence. Dependence is when certain interactions are required. Independence is when no interactions are required or no support from others is accepted. Interdependence is when interaction are not required, they are just mutually beneficial and accepted as such.

Between Eut, and Jocabia, I think you guys have pretty much gotten it. I would add kind of an example (one of the ones I think is very important).

When very young, one generally does things according to a carrot-stick mentality. Do the right thing, you get a treat. Do the wrong thing, you get the stick. In the learning stages, this mentality may be a necessary step along the way.

However, as one matures, one begins to do things, not because of what reward or punishment may be forthcoming if they don't, but simply because they are the right things to do. Obviously, a part of this maturation is figuring out for yourself what right and wrong truly are, as some of what you are taught under the carrot-stick mentality may be things you do not agree with. But the main sign of maturity in this area of life, I would say, is doing things based on right and wrong, not on reward and punishment. In most cases, this requires development of empathy.

As a quick example: An immature person may refrain from stealing from the neighboors because they are afraid of getting caught and punished - whether that punishment be a swat on the behind from a parent or going to jail or anything in between. A mature person would refrain from stealing because he would understand the effect it would have on the victim and would not want to cause that harm.

Maturity = wisdom

Wisdom is the realization that you don't know Jack Shit.

And, thus, my day is ruined. Why, you ask?

Dem, that's an excellent explanation of one of the basics tenets of what I consider maturity to be. Now stop making me look bad by forcing me to agree with you.

I was thinking about it at lunch (a sign that it's a great question, Eut) and I think another part of maturity is accepting that you are not the center of the universe. As a young child, you get embarassed because you feel like the whole world is watching you when you screw up or just when something out of your control happens that you deem to be embarassing. I think with maturity comes the realization that everyone has things about them that could be considered embarassing and most people are so busy trying to hide their embarassing little foibles that they don't have time to notice yours. AND if they do happen to notice yours they generally feel a kinship with you in knowing that they're not the only ones on the planet that make those kind of mistakes.

Another part of maturity is to stop worrying about what other people get away with (I think it goes along with the carrot-stick mentality). You'll see it all the time on this forum. Why did I get in trouble when so-and-so didn't for doing basically the same thing? I think it's a core part of accepting responsibility for one's actions which I mentioned before, but it's so common that I think it's worth mentioning. A mature person does not find it necessary to interfere with the actions of other people so long as they don't affect them and aren't hurting anyone. Immature people think, if I can't do it, neither can you.

... I think the biggest part of maturity is owning who you are. You are the sum of your experiences, your desires, your dreams, you fantasies, you triumphs and your shortcomings. Blaming your parents for who you are as an adult is about as useful as blaming our ancestors for being omnivores. It might be accurate, but it's not useful. Wishing away your childhood or even certain events is like wishing yourself away. An if you don't like who you are as an adult, change it. Own yourself, because no one else is going to. The day you take ownership for who you are and the actions you take is the day you've hit the level of maturity appropriate for an adult.

Note how I didn't mention age even once.
Thank you! Heh!

I agree with your paragraph above about not blaming your parents, or your school, or society, etc., etc., ad nauseaum. It's also a truism that part of becoming mature as an adult is forgiving your parents for being less than perfect. Yes, some things are clearly beyond the pale, such as abuse, but most parents are making it up as they go along and doing the best they know how. Forgiving them is, IMHO, absolutely vital to your own maturity.

Thank you! Heh!

I agree with your paragraph above about not blaming your parents, or your school, or society, etc., etc., ad nauseaum. It's also a truism that part of becoming mature as an adult is forgiving your parents for being less than perfect. Yes, some things are clearly beyond the pale, such as abuse, but most parents are making it up as they go along and doing the best they know how. Forgiving them is, IMHO, absolutely vital to your own maturity.

I think there are two things we have an absolutely terrible time doing and that is truly forgiving others particularly those that wronged us when we were most vulnerable and truly forgiving ourselves. Oh, we love to say we've forgiven our parents, our siblings, our significant others, ourselves, etc., but when it comes down to it we don't really let it go, do we? How common is it to bring up some sort of mistreatment as a child in an disagreement with a parent? How common is it to bring up some transgression from the distant past in an argument with a spouse? How common is it to try and visit a hurt on someone even if it's not the original transgressor just because it was visited upon you?

Forgiveness isn't just a sign of maturity, it's a sign of sainthood. Forgiveness is a nicety to the person being forgiven, but an absolute blessing to those doing the forgiving. Nothing goes further towards healing one's heart.

I also think with maturity, we learn to say we're sorry simply to heal the wounds of someone we love, not because we believe we're wrong, but because they do. We learn to not let hurting someone else because we're angry be our purpose, and eventually not to let anger be our sole motivation at all. We learn that the more we let learning, healing, loving, caring, helping and improving be our motivation the better our lives and the lives of those we care about will be.

EDIT: My father was abusive when I was a child as were his parents. I know my father thought what he was doing was right at the time and would take it back now if he could. My children (when I have them) will have a loving grandfather who has a great relationship with their father because I've accepted exactly what you said, he was doing the best he could. I think the line is not necessarily the actions but whether they knew they were wrong. My father's mother was crazy and her actions (if they stood alone) certainly seem beyond forgiveness, but he forgave her because she simply couldn't see the consequences of her actions and generally was unable to control herself.

My father was abusive when I was a child as were his parents. I know my father thought what he was doing was right at the time and would take it back now if he could. My children (when I have them) will have a loving grandfather who has a great relationship with their father because I've accepted exactly what you said, he was doing the best he could. I think the line is not necessarily the actions but whether they knew they were wrong. My father's mother was crazy and her actions (if they stood alone) certainly seem beyond forgiveness, but he forgave her because she simply couldn't see the consequences of her actions and generally was unable to control herself.
Excellent post! Child abuse tends to run in families, as you point out. Sometimes though, it's simply due to an inability to control anger on the part of the parent. Regardless of the source, a true sign of maturity is the realization that forgiveness is as much for the forgiver as it is for the forgiven. Unforgiveness leads to bitterness and anger, and those can lead to an incredible number of psychological and physical problems, even to a premature death.

To forgive does not necessarily imply forgetfulness, though that would often be best. Forgiveness should definitely lead to the dissapation of anger and bitterness though. If you're still angry about something that was done to you, it's highly unlikely that you've truly forgiven.

By getting laid of course :rolleyes:

By getting laid of course :rolleyes:

You know in a sideways way, you bring up a good point. I always find it amusing when people act as if physical maturity suggests anything about your emotional or intellectual maturity. In another thread I noticed someone arguing that as they first became a teenager they had really big boobs so they were obviously ready for sex with adults since they looked like one. Physical maturity or your abilty to engage in 'adult' acts has about as much to with emotional and intellectual maturity and rape has to do with making love.

Physical maturity or your abilty to engage in 'adult' acts has about as much to with emotional and intellectual maturity and rape has to do with making love.
Good point. Unfortunately, many adults do not make sure brain is running before allowing hormones to engage. :rolleyes:

And that LP is definitely prone to "sideways thinking!" :D

And that LP is definitely prone to "sideways thinking!" :D
Intelligence wrapped up in fun

Whoo!

:p

You know in a sideways way, you bring up a good point. I always find it amusing when people act as if physical maturity suggests anything about your emotional or intellectual maturity. In another thread I noticed someone arguing that as they first became a teenager they had really big boobs so they were obviously ready for sex with adults since they looked like one. Physical maturity or your abilty to engage in 'adult' acts has about as much to with emotional and intellectual maturity and rape has to do with making love.

It is an interesting problem. Sometimes I wonder if people want to equate age and maturity because they think that will make them mature, where their actual mentality does not.

In order to finally quit drinking, my father had to make a huge realization - he wasn't mature at all. Addictions can essentially stunt your intellectual and emotional development - and had done so with him. In the end, he realized that he hadn't really matured at all since the age of 15 (something I believe my mother had probably been suggesting to him for years). It still comes as a bit of a jolt to me at times - when I am speaking to my father and realize that, in many respects, I am more mature than he is.

It is an interesting problem. Sometimes I wonder if people want to equate age and maturity because they think that will make them mature, where their actual mentality does not.

In order to finally quit drinking, my father had to make a huge realization - he wasn't mature at all. Addictions can essentially stunt your intellectual and emotional development - and had done so with him. In the end, he realized that he hadn't really matured at all since the age of 15 (something I believe my mother had probably been suggesting to him for years). It still comes as a bit of a jolt to me at times - when I am speaking to my father and realize that, in many respects, I am more mature than he is.

One thing that I actually have found quite amazing is how quickly some people can mature once they suppress an addiction. It's not true in all cases but I think some people get such a shock when they face up to reality that they do like twenty years of maturing in six months. My cousin used to so immature it was almost impressive. I would have put her on the same level as my eight-year-old nephew. Once she dumped the coke, she worked so hard to get her life in order that I think it forced her to adjust quickly. Now, when I talk to her it's hard to believe it's the same person. I'd say she could serve as an example to many people my age, let alone to people her age (she's 22).

Intelligence wrapped up in fun

Whoo!

:p
Well, at least you got the "fun" part right! ;)

It is an interesting problem. Sometimes I wonder if people want to equate age and maturity because they think that will make them mature, where their actual mentality does not.

In order to finally quit drinking, my father had to make a huge realization - he wasn't mature at all. Addictions can essentially stunt your intellectual and emotional development - and had done so with him. In the end, he realized that he hadn't really matured at all since the age of 15 (something I believe my mother had probably been suggesting to him for years). It still comes as a bit of a jolt to me at times - when I am speaking to my father and realize that, in many respects, I am more mature than he is.
My ex was fond of telling me that emotionally, I was about 14! :D

Be careful who you listen to when things of this sort are said to or of you! :p

My ex was fond of telling me that emotionally, I was about 14! :D

Be careful who you listen to when things of this sort are said to or of you! :p

Hehe. What about someone telling you that about themselves? In truth, just making the admission that he wasn't mature was probably a maturing factor in his case. Unfortunately, he hasn't really caught up as much as Jocabia's friend. He seems to have gotten his life in order just enough to get by. There really are times when I feel like I am the parent in the situation.

I think there are two things we have an absolutely terrible time doing and that is truly forgiving others particularly those that wronged us when we were most vulnerable and truly forgiving ourselves. Oh, we love to say we've forgiven our parents, our siblings, our significant others, ourselves, etc., but when it comes down to it we don't really let it go, do we? How common is it to bring up some sort of mistreatment as a child in an disagreement with a parent? How common is it to bring up some transgression from the distant past in an argument with a spouse? How common is it to try and visit a hurt on someone even if it's not the original transgressor just because it was visited upon you?

Forgiveness isn't just a sign of maturity, it's a sign of sainthood. Forgiveness is a nicety to the person being forgiven, but an absolute blessing to those doing the forgiving. Nothing goes further towards healing one's heart.

I also think with maturity, we learn to say we're sorry simply to heal the wounds of someone we love, not because we believe we're wrong, but because they do. We learn to not let hurting someone else because we're angry be our purpose, and eventually not to let anger be our sole motivation at all. We learn that the more we let learning, healing, loving, caring, helping and improving be our motivation the better our lives and the lives of those we care about will be.

EDIT: My father was abusive when I was a child as were his parents. I know my father thought what he was doing was right at the time and would take it back now if he could. My children (when I have them) will have a loving grandfather who has a great relationship with their father because I've accepted exactly what you said, he was doing the best he could. I think the line is not necessarily the actions but whether they knew they were wrong. My father's mother was crazy and her actions (if they stood alone) certainly seem beyond forgiveness, but he forgave her because she simply couldn't see the consequences of her actions and generally was unable to control herself.


Both my parents were abusive. The difference between yours and mine is mine will go to their graves thinkng they were justified. They don't deny that the abuse happened, they think I deserved it. It does make me worried about what kind of parent I would be.

Both my parents were abusive. The difference between yours and mine is mine will go to their graves thinkng they were justified. They don't deny that the abuse happened, they think I deserved it. It does make me worried about what kind of parent I would be.
OMG! Why in god's name would your parents think you "deserved" to be abused??? :(

Well, at least you got the "fun" part right! ;)
At least you have the "old" part right......well...... sort of anyway.




Maybe with Viagra

At least you have the "old" part right......well...... sort of anyway. Maybe with Viagra
LOL!

Hey! Who you callin' "old" you wet-behind-the-ears neonate??? :p

Both my parents were abusive. The difference between yours and mine is mine will go to their graves thinkng they were justified. They don't deny that the abuse happened, they think I deserved it. It does make me worried about what kind of parent I would be.

Both of my parents were abusive as well. You'll notice I only mentioned my father. My mother refuses to discuss her role in my childhood but she appears to feel very guilty about the whole thing. The few times she has discussed it she blames my father for it all and usually when she gets mad enough she blames me. My mother did things like tell my siblings that the reason I was in such good shape was the drugs I was on (at the time and I hadn't even tried alcohol) or completely untrue things about the abuse I suffered as a child. She came to a Gymnastics meet my first year doing it where I got second in conference. My mom said in front the entire team that judges must have been showing favoritism because other gymnasts were clearly better. And she generally encouraged my father to hit me whenever she was in a bad mood. I was a straight A student, never did drugs or drank, member of dozens of extracurricular activities and had three jobs (one during the school year and two more in the summer). Despite this, I was booted out of my home three times by my father (the first time was for falling asleep at my friend's house across the street, my parents knew where I was and hadn't noticed my absence until I told them that it happened) and each time my mother supported my father when he was around and suggested she was trying to talk him out of it when he wasn't.

So am I angry at my mother about it? Nah. Why be angry? What could I possibly gain by being upset about it? Despite herself, my mother made me stronger than I ever could have been otherwise. She taught me the importance of kindness and understanding in the absence of it. Between her and my father, I have an entire spectrum of mistakes to learn from. I'm thankful for all of it. I lament the fact that my mother can't get past that time in our lives and forgive herself for it and thus feels the need to defend her part in it all. And I cherish the fact that my father does forgive himself and in doing so he can openly discuss it with me and tell me how impressed he is with the man I've become. I tell him about the good things I've learned from him and my mother, like the value of hard work. Also both my parents would bend over backwards to help a fellow human being for as long as I could remember so long as there was no relation to our family.

I think life is like that. We have all of these examples around us and we try to find the good in our examples and emulate them and the bad in our examples and learn to do better. I was lucky enough to have some amazingly good and amazingly bad examples in my life. I certainly hope I'm a better person for it.

OMG! Why in god's name would your parents think you "deserved" to be abused??? :(

Perhaps for the same reason that the man who abused me thought that he needed to teach me about sexuality by having me do things, because obviously you can only learn by doing, right? (or at least, this was the explanation he gave my mother).

People think some pretty crazy things sometimes. Often, I think they are simply rationalizations of something they know to be wrong. Other times, I fear that they actually believe it.

Perhaps for the same reason that the man who abused me thought that he needed to teach me about sexuality by having me do things, because obviously you can only learn by doing, right? (or at least, this was the explanation he gave my mother).

People think some pretty crazy things sometimes. Often, I think they are simply rationalizations of something they know to be wrong. Other times, I fear that they actually believe it.

I think it's more often the former and much easier to forgive if it's the latter. I can forgive crazy before evil.

OMG! Why in god's name would your parents think you "deserved" to be abused??? :(


you want their reasoning, or my theory?

My mother's explaination goes something like this: "Yes, we may have made a few mistakes, but you have to realize we were under a lot of pressure because of your hosptial bills, and we never knew if we were going to have a place to live, and your father was drinking, and we couldn't deal with your behaviour, etc., etc."

My theory? They're both nuttier than a fruitcake. Get this -- I have been told by relatives that they started in on me when I was a year and a half old. That's about the time my little brother was born and proved they could have a physically normal child. Now you know why I refuse to have any contact with my family.

I can forgive crazy before evil.
As far as I'm concerned, evil = crazy. :(

As far as I'm concerned, evil = crazy. :(

My seperation of the two is around knowledge of right and wrong. If you do wrong knowing it's wrong, evil. If you do wrong and don't know and never understand that it's wrong, crazy. I realize the two terms are hyperbole, but I was just making a point.

you want their reasoning, or my theory?

My mother's explaination goes something like this: "Yes, we may have made a few mistakes, but you have to realize we were under a lot of pressure because of your hosptial bills, and we never knew if we were going to have a place to live, and your father was drinking, and we couldn't deal with your behaviour, etc., etc."

My theory? They're both nuttier than a fruitcake. Get this -- I have been told by relatives that they started in on me when I was a year and a half old. That's about the time my little brother was born and proved they could have a physically normal child. Now you know why I refuse to have any contact with my family.
I can't begin to imagine. :(

If it's any consolation, it seems to me that you've overcome all that.

My seperation of the two is around knowledge of right and wrong. If you do wrong knowing it's wrong, evil. If you do wrong and don't know and never understand that it's wrong, crazy. I realize the two terms are hyperbole, but I was just making a point.
Good point. Thanks.

I can't begin to imagine. :(

If it's any consolation, it seems to me that you've overcome all that.


Not noticably, no. Been in therapy for years, heavily medicated for depression, and still at 38 socially stunted and lonely and isolated. I'm working on it, but I ain't there yet.

Perhaps for the same reason that the man who abused me thought that he needed to teach me about sexuality by having me do things, because obviously you can only learn by doing, right? (or at least, this was the explanation he gave my mother).

People think some pretty crazy things sometimes. Often, I think they are simply rationalizations of something they know to be wrong. Other times, I fear that they actually believe it.
We're all what the military calls "walking wounded," but some seem to have much deeper wounds and to have been wounded repeatedly. You certainly qualify.

When I talk to someone who has gone through great suffering, particularly in childhood, the only counsel I can offer is to reach down deep and find that wellspring of courage and conviction that lies within each one of us. When someone finds this, the battle between who they are and what they have been through begins. Based on what I have read of your posts, you certainly have that courage, and I suspect that you have been battling for some time now. I just want to encourage you to never, ever give up. :)

Hehe. What about someone telling you that about themselves? In truth, just making the admission that he wasn't mature was probably a maturing factor in his case. Unfortunately, he hasn't really caught up as much as Jocabia's friend. He seems to have gotten his life in order just enough to get by. There really are times when I feel like I am the parent in the situation.
Peerfectly understanable.

Not noticably, no. Been in therapy for years, heavily medicated for depression, and still at 38 socially stunted and lonely and isolated. I'm working on it, but I ain't there yet.

You're running out of time, my friend. Don't you know life ends at forty? You might as well start picking out your retirement home (aimed at you, Eut).

I'm kidding, of course. I find that people who have been through what you have often give themselves less credit than they deserve (at least inwardly - outwardly some pretend to think they're a gift from God). I suspect you've made much more progress than you report to us. And I suspect that when you realize that bit, you'll find your social issues will begin to disappear as well. Being told how worthless you are, like many of us were, has a habit of creating people who have less of a tendency to realize that not everybody is looking to hang out with the people who dance on the tables and talk about fashion or football all the time. The world is full of people just begging to meet someone with your inner strength and resolution. I know I love meeting people like you. Don't deny yourself to other people. They need you as much as you need them.

Thank you. Now I'd better stop posting on this thread. If I don't I'll just end up wallowing in self-pity. For some reason, that tends to turn people off. :)

In the thread "Fathers (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=448800)," the subject of "maturity" came up. I would love to know what you think about this subject. What is your definition of maturity? How do you get it? Who do you know who has "maturity?" What are the people who have it like?

Here's one defintion (http://www.uwec.edu/counsel/pubs/defnMaturity.htm) I found that comes pretty close to how I view maturity:

"The adult with a capacity for true maturity is one who has grown out of childhood experiences without losing childhood's best traits. He has retained the basic emotional strengths of infancy, the stubborn autonomy of "toddlerhood", the capacity for wonder and pleasure and playfulness of the preschool years, the capacity for affiliation and intellectual curiosity of the school years, and the idealism and passion of adolescence. He has incorporated these into a new pattern of simplicity dominated by adult stability, wisdom, knowledge, sensitivity to other people, responsibility, strength, and purposefulness."

Pretty good stuff. Hell, by this definition even I might be considered mature.

http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/grinser/grinning-smiley-044.gif