NationStates Jolt Archive


All your base are belong to...her?

Neo Kervoskia
10-10-2005, 15:48
That's riiiiiiiiiiiight! When you get a divorce, what happens? She usually gets all your base. Your car, your house, your money, your pride, you car, your porn stash, your other stash, and your shitty golf clubs that you owned even though you never played. Has this ever happened to you? It's never happened to me, then again I don't exist. I am a figment of the South Island's imagination.
The South Islands
10-10-2005, 15:49
Dance, Figment, DANCE!
Pure Metal
10-10-2005, 15:52
she's not getting my porno :mad:
Compulsive Depression
10-10-2005, 15:54
Don't get married. Then it can't happen.
[NS]Olara
10-10-2005, 15:56
That's riiiiiiiiiiiight! When you get a divorce, what happens? She usually gets all your base. Your car, your house, your money, your pride, you car, your porn stash, your other stash, and your shitty golf clubs that you owned even though you never played. Has this ever happened to you? It's never happened to me, then again I don't exist. I am a figment of the South Island's imagination.
People should think long and hard before getting married for this very reason. Divorce sucks, and while not every divorce is foreseeable, most could be prevented if people weren't so flippant with marriage in the first place.
The South Islands
10-10-2005, 15:57
Don't get married. Then it can't happen.

Or can it.... *scraches imaginary beard*
Pepe Dominguez
10-10-2005, 15:57
Well, you woulda never had all that money in the first place if your loyal wife wasn't there every day when you got home from work, with a fresh excuse why she couldn't cook dinner, and a $100 restaurant bill from her lunch with her mother at the Ritz.. and you woulda never got to work in the first place if she hadn't filled the car with gas that one time when she ran out because she doesn't know how to read the gauge, remember? :p
Midget Warriors
10-10-2005, 16:01
wait... your all forgeting that she gets the kids too... but dont get too excited you still hav to pay for them... Hoooray
Neo Kervoskia
10-10-2005, 16:03
Or can it.... *scraches imaginary beard*Have you ever seen the movie Love Stinks, it did happen, and they weren't married.
Ashmoria
10-10-2005, 16:06
what freaking time warp are you living in?

in THIS universe (in the US) both spouses work. assets are divided pretty much 50/50. there is no alimony unless one spouse hasnt been working or one spouse makes extremely much more than the other. as in millions more. and even then its limited to a few years and only in long term marriages.

the non custodial parent pays child support based on their income and regardless of the income of the other parent.

avoid getting divorced in new york and everthing will be fine.
The South Islands
10-10-2005, 16:07
Have you ever seen the movie Love Stinks, it did happen, and they weren't married.

No, I nev...Wait a sec, how can a figment of my imagination see movies?!

DANCE, FIGMENT!
Roguing Rogues
10-10-2005, 16:08
If only I had something to take... so joke is on them.
Syniks
10-10-2005, 16:34
That's riiiiiiiiiiiight! When you get a divorce, what happens? She usually gets all your base. Your car, your house, your money, your pride, you car, your porn stash, your other stash, and your shitty golf clubs that you owned even though you never played. Has this ever happened to you? It's never happened to me, then again I don't exist. I am a figment of the South Island's imagination.
While your scenerio is still usually the case, it is not always the case.

I have an employee who lost her kids has to pay child support, and is thwarted at every move to even see her 4 & 6 year olds by a manipulative bastard who accused her of sleeping with everyone in our office (as if...) as one of his declarations of "bad motherhood".
Myrmidonisia
10-10-2005, 16:48
Olara']People should think long and hard before getting married for this very reason. Divorce sucks, and while not every divorce is foreseeable, most could be prevented if people weren't so flippant with marriage in the first place.
The first corollary to that is that married people should make an effort to stay married. Giving up at the first little bump in the road isn't what the committment to be married means.


Speaking of the word 'effort', has anyone else noticed news and sportscasters using it like a verb? As in 'we will effort to find out more about the fire'.
Eutrusca
10-10-2005, 16:54
She usually gets all your base. Your car, your house, your money, your pride, you car, your porn stash, your other stash, and your shitty golf clubs that you owned even though you never played.
Which goes a long way toward explaining why my ex and I have been separated for almost six years now! :D
Nag Ehgoeg
10-10-2005, 16:55
Seeing as this thread is already spam:

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[/threadjack]
Ashmoria
10-10-2005, 17:00
While your scenerio is still usually the case, it is not always the case.

I have an employee who lost her kids has to pay child support, and is thwarted at every move to even see her 4 & 6 year olds by a manipulative bastard who accused her of sleeping with everyone in our office (as if...) as one of his declarations of "bad motherhood".
no it isnt usually the case at all.

for most people when you get a divorce both people lose everything because they depend on each other's income to afford the things they have.

the house has to be sold. who has a house without a big fat mortgage? who can afford to pay for it on their own income? no one. IF there is any cash left over when the house is sold and the mortage satisfied, its split 50/50.

who owns their own car outright? if you do, is it worth more than $2000? whoever "gets the car" has to pay the car note.

whatever you had before you got married. you keep. if you inherited something while you were married, you get to keep that. the rest is divided up 50/50 pretty much. while you fight tooth and nail over who gets the big screen tv, you rack up huge lawyer fees that insure that neither of you will end up with anything.

the only remaining "unfair" thing is child physical custody. joint custody is pretty much standard these days but the kids have to live somewhere eh? most often that ends up being the mother but in many places if the mother doesnt have a good job, she wont get the kids.
Branin
10-10-2005, 17:32
No, I nev...Wait a sec, how can a figment of my imagination see movies?!

DANCE, FIGMENT!
Active imagination?
Drake and Dragon Keeps
10-10-2005, 20:45
While your scenerio is still usually the case, it is not always the case.

I have an employee who lost her kids has to pay child support, and is thwarted at every move to even see her 4 & 6 year olds by a manipulative bastard who accused her of sleeping with everyone in our office (as if...) as one of his declarations of "bad motherhood".


That is the very first time I have seen someone able to list an example from the other side. The problem with topics like this that mainly effect one gender is that people foreget that it is the individuals involved which determine how the divorce turns out (i.e. Can people be mature about it, for most cases that go to courst it is true that atleast one side is acting immature).

Here in the U.K. it does not help when the Law/courts prefer one gender over the other before even reviewing the case.

People who say that 50/50 is fair in all cases neglect to realise that if both parnters are working, the man is still worse of as on average men earn more (shouldn't be this way, but it is society in general that is at fault for this and not the particular man involved). The biggest problem comes when quantifying the value that the partner who stayed at home (usually the wife, but less so than in the pass) to raise the kids etc has contributed to the marriage.
Czardas
10-10-2005, 20:49
This is why I don't believe in marriage.

Although, I am only a figment of Neo Kervoskia's imagination, so go figure.

(Yes, South Islands, the figments of your imagination are so imaginative they imagine imaginary imaginations. Right? :p)
Bottle
10-10-2005, 20:58
That's riiiiiiiiiiiight! When you get a divorce, what happens? She usually gets all your base. Your car, your house, your money, your pride, you car, your porn stash, your other stash, and your shitty golf clubs that you owned even though you never played. Has this ever happened to you? It's never happened to me, then again I don't exist. I am a figment of the South Island's imagination.
Um, I don't know where you live, but that's not the case in the US. Indeed, there is currently a fierce backlash that is seriously screwing over female spouses who pursue divorce. We're still trying to find that fair balance in divorce proceedings; originally, women got nothing and men got everything, which was wrong, and then there was a stretch when women could soak their exhusbands, and now we're swinging back more to the male side of things. The swing is less extreme, though, so hopefully we will keep getting closer to the sweet spot.
AllCoolNamesAreTaken
10-10-2005, 21:06
Um, I don't know where you live, but that's not the case in the US. Indeed, there is currently a fierce backlash that is seriously screwing over female spouses who pursue divorce. We're still trying to find that fair balance in divorce proceedings; originally, women got nothing and men got everything, which was wrong, and then there was a stretch when women could soak their exhusbands, and now we're swinging back more to the male side of things. The swing is less extreme, though, so hopefully we will keep getting closer to the sweet spot.


I don't know what bizzaro world you're living in, but that's not the case in Florida. My ex-wife has EVERYTHING. I am 29, and had to move back in with my parents! I can't afford a place on my own, because she gets half my paycheck (BEFORE taxes) before I even see a dime of it. Florida has some of the most punitive divorce laws in the country. The fact that she threw me out, the fact that she had an affair while I was away on business, wasn't even allowed to be mentioned in court.
Ashmoria
10-10-2005, 21:10
I don't know what bizzaro world you're living in, but that's not the case in Florida. My ex-wife has EVERYTHING. I am 29, and had to move back in with my parents! I can't afford a place on my own, because she gets half my paycheck (BEFORE taxes) before I even see a dime of it. Florida has some of the most punitive divorce laws in the country. The fact that she threw me out, the fact that she had an affair while I was away on business, wasn't even allowed to be mentioned in court.
you better look into your lawyer's malpractice.

is SHE getting half your paycheck or is that child support?
The Cat-Tribe
10-10-2005, 21:10
I don't know what bizzaro world you're living in, but that's not the case in Florida. My ex-wife has EVERYTHING. I am 29, and had to move back in with my parents! I can't afford a place on my own, because she gets half my paycheck (BEFORE taxes) before I even see a dime of it. Florida has some of the most punitive divorce laws in the country. The fact that she threw me out, the fact that she had an affair while I was away on business, wasn't even allowed to be mentioned in court.

If this story is true, then (a) you are leaving out important facts, (b) you had a shitty lawyer, and/or (c) your case is an anomoly.

Florida's "punitive" divorce laws are not particularly skewed towards ex-wifes.
Blu-tac
10-10-2005, 21:12
The fact is marriage is for life and divorce is wrong.

family values.
Bottle
10-10-2005, 21:26
I don't know what bizzaro world you're living in, but that's not the case in Florida. My ex-wife has EVERYTHING. I am 29, and had to move back in with my parents! I can't afford a place on my own, because she gets half my paycheck (BEFORE taxes) before I even see a dime of it. Florida has some of the most punitive divorce laws in the country. The fact that she threw me out, the fact that she had an affair while I was away on business, wasn't even allowed to be mentioned in court.
I know there are cases where the ex-wife still does the soaking...I never claimed that such things never happen. I've got a male friend who got utterly screwed by his ex. I'm not going to waste time getting in to the specifics of your case, I'm just speaking from my experience working for a District Court that handled specifically domestic issues (from abuse to divorce to child custody). Your case may have gone a certain way, but I'm afraid that is not currently the norm in the United States. The objective reality is that females don't actually make out as well as most ex-husbands would lead us to believe. This is OBVIOUSLY not a hard-and-fast rule, and there will be plenty of annecdotal cases showing the opposite outcome...I'm speaking in generalities, here, not absolutes.

There was quite a stretch of time when women were the ones running away with the farm, but (just like the male bias before it) that kind of extreme leaning always provokes a backlash. I believe that within about the next 5 years we'll see it swing back toward female bias, and after that perhaps another minor swing "toward" the men, but each swing will be less extreme than the one before it.

It's a bit like a pendulum running down. At first, the pendulum was pulled all the way to the "men" side of things. Then, with the advent of the Equal Rights movement, it was "let go" and swung violently toward the "women" side of things. Now, it's swinging back toward the "men" side, but the swing is less dramatic than that first initial swoop. It will, in time, swing toward "women," and back to "men," but it's going to be making smaller and less dramatic "swings" as time goes on. Things like legalized gay marriage will also help to stop these oscillations.

Let me be really clear on one thing, however: I think the majority of the problem with divisions of assets after divorce is due to stupidity on the part of the female. Females continue to give up their own careers and income in favor of being dependents, and then they whine about how hard it is to make ends meet when they can't count on hubby to pay the bills. Any capable female who fails to develop her own, independent means of support is a moron in my book, and if she gets screwed in a divorce then I'm not going to shed a tear for her.

Of course, any male who encourages his wife to be dependent is then tipping the scales right back...if he wanted a cute little stay-at-home wifey, then she deserves to soak him for everything he's worth because he was a stupid git who is reaping what he sowed. :)
Bottle
10-10-2005, 21:28
The fact is marriage is for life and divorce is wrong.

family values.
The fact is, things like marriage and family are never so simple. When you get a bit older, you will learn about the complexity of human relationships, and you will learn that black-and-white rules simply don't work in real life.
OceanDrive2
10-10-2005, 21:32
The fact is marriage is for life and divorce is wrong.Marriage/Divorce they are good for the Lawyers...
Lawyers make shitloads of money out of the Morons that sign the papers...

Love needs no papers.
THAPOAB
10-10-2005, 21:33
You can say whatever you want about how fair the property split up is, but no matter what happens, the kids get royally screwed.
OceanDrive2
11-10-2005, 11:56
you better look into your lawyer's malpractice. (in the US) Do not expect...Do NOT expect to win a malpractice suit against a Lawyer...unless... you have something like videotape evidence.

I welcome comments by NS lawyers.
Neutered Sputniks
11-10-2005, 12:10
The fact is marriage is for life and divorce is wrong.

family values.

Myself once being a firm believer of this, I now feel compelled to tell you to shove your religiously based morality where the warmth and light from the sun will never again touch it...

Life happens. Win some, lose some, best you can do is hope to die in your sleep - and if along the way you bet on a 'sure winner' that turns out to be not such a hot hand, you cant spend the rest of your life holding onto those cards.

Just out of curiousity, how old are you Blu?
Neutered Sputniks
11-10-2005, 12:12
Love needs no papers.

Damn straight.
OceanDrive2
11-10-2005, 12:16
....
Hey Hey Hey :)

Nice to see you around Neut.
Neutered Sputniks
11-10-2005, 12:19
Hey Hey Hey :)

Nice to see you around Neut.

lol, I still poke my head in from time to time...just rarely bother saying much. Seems most of the posters here jump to extremes far too quickly for my tastes (myself being more of an overall moderate)...
The South Islands
11-10-2005, 15:37
lol, I still poke my head in from time to time...just rarely bother saying much. Seems most of the posters here jump to extremes far too quickly for my tastes (myself being more of an overall moderate)...

Seems to happen alot these days. *sigh*

Oh, to NK...DANCE FIGMENT!