Neo Kervoskia
09-10-2005, 03:05
I was bored so I wrote this, it's a just a ranting that I hope to devlop into a story.
My life has never been of any interest to anybody. When I reflect on my life's work, which didn't amount to anything that could be held in high esteem, I observed that it was one rather lengthy act in mediocraty. I never excelled in a particular fied of study, nor did I receive any congratulatory gestures for my trite accomplishments. However, disappointment was never familiar to me. This was because of my philosophy, which has kept me alive for this many long years. My philosophy is to hold all optimism in low regard and to expect little, if any, personal gain from my labour.
It's worked wonderfully for me thus far. I have been able to endure the pride and arrogance of others. I have not others to have anything of mine, not my compassion, my limited intellect, or even my pity.People regard me as cold because I have such a grim view of life. The truth is that I have no faith in humanity. That may seem to be a rather common trait in society today, but in my case it's different in one regard. Whereas the majority of those that hold my same view had faith in humanity at some particular point in their lives, I had never had any. To be perfectly honest I don't have faith in anything.
God is any empty concept, albeit an addictive one. Whenever you give someone an inkling of an idea of life's purpose, that person will cling to it. Whether or not the idea is fact is entirely irrelavent. People crave for a sense of purpose, it's quite a pathetic spectacle. A person will sacrifice is life to maintain his ignorance. Many philosophers reject that practice, as do I. However, they do so to become enlightened or to attain a greater level of some such nonsensical concept. I reject the practice because I see it as futile to do otherwise. Life is painful and not even the most potent ignorance can numb that feeling completely. So, I accept that life is pain and I simply live through it all.
Whenever I see someone mourn the death of a loved-one, I cannot help but pity them. There is absolutely nothing they can do, or could have done. There is no use in shedding tears for those who are no longer productive, which is a better description of our materialistic life hidden in a Pandora's Box of spirituality. I walk past the mourners and give them a subtle nod. I do it not our of charity, but out of curiosity. When a loved one has died, the mourner does not seem alive. To use an old phrase, they are a shell of the people they once were. I disagree with that phrase. I believe that people are only shells of what they want to be. Their aspirations are what they see, not themselves.
That's why at funerals the family and friends of the deceased praise the dead so highly. They are only able to see the deceased's aspirations. It would hurt the mourners too much if they took the fucking time to actual look at his life. It was probably a relatively mediocre one. Working from nine until five and going home, following a routine, and then repeating the cycle the following day.
People are ignorant, not to say that I am "enlightened", to use a tired old term. To be perfectly frank I just don't give a fuck. Why should I? There are precious few options in life. I could be a philosopher and contemplate about life, but never take any action. I could be an obedient worker bee and spend my life trying to give it some shread of meaning. Or I could simply not care and live comfortably with that fact.
I've chosen the third path, but now I've grown weary of it. I have don all that I can with it and I can go no further. Excuse me, that was misldeaing. I never went anywhere, I am exactly at the point from which I started. Isn't that grand? People try to move from A to B and most of them end up someplace worse, whereas I started at A and I will end at A. It's time for me to depart from this world, there's nothing in it that interests me. I haven't decided how I'm going to do it. Pills would be nice, but that's a luxury that I can't afford. Besides, pills are for depressed housewives and teenagers who think they're lost in life. A razor blade, now there's an idea, but I don't have one. None of the options will do. I'll simply wait here and when it is time, I'll leave.
Edit: Goddamn Jolt, why can't I indent?!
My life has never been of any interest to anybody. When I reflect on my life's work, which didn't amount to anything that could be held in high esteem, I observed that it was one rather lengthy act in mediocraty. I never excelled in a particular fied of study, nor did I receive any congratulatory gestures for my trite accomplishments. However, disappointment was never familiar to me. This was because of my philosophy, which has kept me alive for this many long years. My philosophy is to hold all optimism in low regard and to expect little, if any, personal gain from my labour.
It's worked wonderfully for me thus far. I have been able to endure the pride and arrogance of others. I have not others to have anything of mine, not my compassion, my limited intellect, or even my pity.People regard me as cold because I have such a grim view of life. The truth is that I have no faith in humanity. That may seem to be a rather common trait in society today, but in my case it's different in one regard. Whereas the majority of those that hold my same view had faith in humanity at some particular point in their lives, I had never had any. To be perfectly honest I don't have faith in anything.
God is any empty concept, albeit an addictive one. Whenever you give someone an inkling of an idea of life's purpose, that person will cling to it. Whether or not the idea is fact is entirely irrelavent. People crave for a sense of purpose, it's quite a pathetic spectacle. A person will sacrifice is life to maintain his ignorance. Many philosophers reject that practice, as do I. However, they do so to become enlightened or to attain a greater level of some such nonsensical concept. I reject the practice because I see it as futile to do otherwise. Life is painful and not even the most potent ignorance can numb that feeling completely. So, I accept that life is pain and I simply live through it all.
Whenever I see someone mourn the death of a loved-one, I cannot help but pity them. There is absolutely nothing they can do, or could have done. There is no use in shedding tears for those who are no longer productive, which is a better description of our materialistic life hidden in a Pandora's Box of spirituality. I walk past the mourners and give them a subtle nod. I do it not our of charity, but out of curiosity. When a loved one has died, the mourner does not seem alive. To use an old phrase, they are a shell of the people they once were. I disagree with that phrase. I believe that people are only shells of what they want to be. Their aspirations are what they see, not themselves.
That's why at funerals the family and friends of the deceased praise the dead so highly. They are only able to see the deceased's aspirations. It would hurt the mourners too much if they took the fucking time to actual look at his life. It was probably a relatively mediocre one. Working from nine until five and going home, following a routine, and then repeating the cycle the following day.
People are ignorant, not to say that I am "enlightened", to use a tired old term. To be perfectly frank I just don't give a fuck. Why should I? There are precious few options in life. I could be a philosopher and contemplate about life, but never take any action. I could be an obedient worker bee and spend my life trying to give it some shread of meaning. Or I could simply not care and live comfortably with that fact.
I've chosen the third path, but now I've grown weary of it. I have don all that I can with it and I can go no further. Excuse me, that was misldeaing. I never went anywhere, I am exactly at the point from which I started. Isn't that grand? People try to move from A to B and most of them end up someplace worse, whereas I started at A and I will end at A. It's time for me to depart from this world, there's nothing in it that interests me. I haven't decided how I'm going to do it. Pills would be nice, but that's a luxury that I can't afford. Besides, pills are for depressed housewives and teenagers who think they're lost in life. A razor blade, now there's an idea, but I don't have one. None of the options will do. I'll simply wait here and when it is time, I'll leave.
Edit: Goddamn Jolt, why can't I indent?!