NationStates Jolt Archive

NOTE: I got this in an email. The original statement was incorrectly attributed to Robin Williams.


What we need now is for our UN Ambassador to stand up and repeat this message.

"I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here's one plan."

1) "The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past &present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and the rest of those 'good ole boys', we will never "interfere" again.

2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany , South Korea , the Middle East , and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one allowed sneaking through holes in the fence.

3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of whom or where they are. They're illegal!!! France will welcome them.

4) All future visitors will be tho-roughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit!!! No one from a terrorist nation will be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.

5) No foreign "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home baby.

6) The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.

7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go some place else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)

8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere." They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them are stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.

9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island some place. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.

10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer. The Language we speak is ENGLISH...learn it...or LEAVE...Now, isn't that a winner of a plan?

"The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying 'Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'you want a piece of me?' "

What about this? Good idea? Bad idea? What??

Points 6 and 7 are clearly written by someone out of their depth in that area.

I can never figure out if these things are written by people who actually believe them, or by others as a joke to make people who do believe it look stupid. Either way, though, I guess it's sad people would believe this tripe.

I like number 1 & 2. But stuff like number 7 is pure stupidity. The person who wrote this is free to buy his oil from whomever he wants, why force the rest of us into $8/gallon gas?

I can never figure out if these things are written by people who actually believe them, or by others as a joke to make people who do believe it look stupid. Either way, though, I guess it's sad people would believe this tripe.
Believe what? These are policy suggestions.

LOL I actually agree with all points except for 4 and 5

Uh, the US pulled out of the Philippines a long time ago. Whatever's left is there training the AFP at the Philippino government's request. :rolleyes:

I agree with some points, the rest just made me wonder what the fuck.

LOL I actually agree with all points except for 4 and 5

Really? We should apologize for the downfall of Hitler?

I like number 1 & 2. But stuff like number 7 is pure stupidity. The person who wrote this is free to buy his oil from whomever he wants, why force the rest of us into $8/gallon gas?


Believe what? These are policy suggestions.

Believe that they're good ideas, feasible or even accurate predictions.

#7 for example...

7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go some place else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)

Um, no, the storage sites would not be filling up. Oil is the ultimate fungible good -- if we don't buy it, someone else will (see China).

If it would work, I'd love it!

Besides, there is nothing wrong with isolationism.

I'm for partial isolationalism. (Trading globably is fine.)

And a lot of this made me roffle. But in truth, I'd settle for this extreme than our current situation's extreme.

Wouldn't work at all, the US would collaspe after a couple of months.

But who would buy all the crappy TV, music and movies? And where would the rest of the world be without tawdry tat like Tommy Hilfiger and Sean-Jean?

While your at it though, will you please take that annoying old bag madonna back?

1) "The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past &present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and the rest of those 'good ole boys', we will never "interfere" again.

Meh...let's ASK if the world would like an apology for our actions involving that "delightful" group of people. If the world want's one, we give one.

2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany , South Korea , the Middle East , and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one allowed sneaking through holes in the fence.

I've been arguing for this for a number of years now.

3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of whom or where they are. They're illegal!!! France will welcome them.

Same as point #2

4) All future visitors will be tho-roughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit!!! No one from a terrorist nation will be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.

I agree that people from "terrorist nations" shouldn't be allowed here, but we need a strict definition of what constitutes a terrorist nation. The whole "90 days or special permit" thing I'm kind of neutral towards, since as a US citizen, I am unaware of current visa restrictions to enter the country.

5) No foreign "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home baby.

I disagree completely. While many foreign students return to their native land, many also stay here, become citizens, and are among our best and brightest.

6) The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.

While I am all for promoting a greater degree of energy self-sufficiency, drilling in Alaska will hinder such efforts. It would be better to focus on renewable and non-fossil fuel forms of energy than to keep limping along on Alaska, which has a limited amount of oil which is also quite difficult to extract.

7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go some place else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)

:rolleyes: Economics...read up on it, just a little bit

8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere." They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them are stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.

I mostly agree with this...if we spent less on disasters overseas, we'd have more to spend on disasters here at home.

9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island some place. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.

I agree completely. I personally think it should be moved to Japan.

10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer. The Language we speak is ENGLISH...learn it...or LEAVE...Now, isn't that a winner of a plan?

Charm and beauty school? I'm neither charming, nor beautiful, and I have no intention of changing these facts anytime soon. Kiss my ass! :p

I agree, however, that english should be mandatory

"The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying 'Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'you want a piece of me?' "

Meh...keep it the way it is, if only to keep the French from pissing their pants over the fact that we changed it. :p

What about this? Good idea? Bad idea? What??

Let's see.

Full agree- 4/10
Partial agree- 4/10
Disagree- 2/10

Meh...go for it. :p

Go for it, seriously, I hope the guy who worte this goes and does it. IF the US collapses it just halps the world.

Go for it, seriously, I hope the guy who worte this goes and does it. IF the US collapses it just halps the world.

You wouldn't even need to take those particular steps. The US economy is already a house of cards, and the wind's starting to gain some strength...

*lol* yeah the US goes back to Isolationism.... good try to produce your own stuff, then the world has one good laugh for sure....

you can't win alone in this global world anymore! wake up and make friends! :D

Go for it. Isolate yourselves. Not that I'm against americans, but I'm against your government. In fact most people outside US are. We are sick of Bush playing world police or Last Crusade or something.

I'll end here beffore the NSA tracks me down and calls my country a rogue nation.

1) "The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past &present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and the rest of those 'good ole boys', we will never "interfere" again.


No need to appologise, but if you guys really want to.. :)


2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany , South Korea , the Middle East , and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one allowed sneaking through holes in the fence.


You forgot some other places. But withdraw them all :)


3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of whom or where they are. They're illegal!!! France will welcome them.


I don't think France will welcome them.. but go right ahead, deport everyone you will :) It will just sink your populational growth rate :)


4) All future visitors will be tho-roughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit!!! No one from a terrorist nation will be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.


I agree! I don't feel especially interested in visiting your country.. and there are better countries to ask asylum too :p


5) No foreign "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home baby.


Yes, do that! Expell them to Europe please.


6) The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.


Though I'd like to see the US do this, I don't think your coal and oil companies would agree... and they seem to run your country, so..


7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go some place else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)


Europe offer's 11$ a barrel. They sell it all to us, and we still consider it super cheap. We win, they don't lose as much... well, you guys lose, but who cares? I mean, you want to appologise for having helped the world getting rid of Hitler, you most have liked the guy.

PS: Explain to me, how did you helped the world get rid of Stalin? He died of natural causes o.o .... oh my, you killed the guy? cool!


8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere." They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them are stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.


If there is a Katrina in the US.... well, we actually won't do anything but laugh at the US incompetance, you never seem to want help.


9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island some place. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.


Ship it to Geneva or Brussels. And talking about spies, do unbug the EC headquarters, i've heard their cleaning staff finds irritating to have to take out your electronic gadgets from the most ludicrious places.


10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer. The Language we speak is ENGLISH...learn it...or LEAVE...Now, isn't that a winner of a plan?


mmmmm OK!


"The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying 'Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'you want a piece of me?' "


I have a better Idea: Ship it to France, too! I mean, they will get sad, no one likes to see a present getting returned, but I think the Statue would nowadays feel more comfortable in France than in the US.



Woa, Europeans and Americans agreeing at something.. See? It's not impossible!

I agree with everything except 6 & 7. We may have to live with a global economy but that doesn't mean we have to continue spending billions of dollars helping or protecting people who do nothing but criticise our efforts. And for those of you who assume we would fail, let me remind you that this country has already accomplished more in 200yrs than most of you did in 1,000yrs. Don't underestimate the power of American stubborness.

1) "The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past &present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and the rest of those 'good ole boys', we will never "interfere" again.

There's no need to apologize for getting rid of them. You can apologize over all the dictatorship that you support (and continue to support) and how you fucked with central and south america so much, if you want. I'm sure that they'll appreciate it.

2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany , South Korea , the Middle East , and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one allowed sneaking through holes in the fence.


This might actually improve the worldwide opinion of the US


3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of whom or where they are. They're illegal!!! France will welcome them.


Well Ok, you can do anything you like with illegal aliens in your own country. But who's going to do all the shit jobs for feck-all pay? You may find a slight inflation on the prices you usually pay for you fine good.


4) All future visitors will be tho-roughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit!!!

If I want to go to the US now I have to get a "special permit". My Fingerprints, Irises and picture would be taken. How is this proposal any thing different from the reality at the moment?
No one from a terrorist nation will be allowed in.

Well, those defector that want to give you vital information will just have to stay in the torture pit. And good ridance.

If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here.
WTF?

Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.

Thats a shame.Your loss (http://society.guardian.co.uk/asylumseekers/story/0,7991,430329,00.)

5) No foreign "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home baby.


Where do you get the idea that someone of 21 is more lightly to be a bomber than someone of 20 and 9 months? This proposal is just dumb

6) The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.

Not while it's controlled by ex-oilheads, it won't.

7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go some place else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)


Watch Saudi just cut production. And laugh as you suffer an energy crisis. Good call.

8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere." They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them are stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.


Fair enough, I concede. The Americian people are extremly generous and altrustic. But I bet they'd go on doing that anyway, even if you told them to stop. Charity isn't meant to be a weapon to threaten the benifictary with.

9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island some place. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.


Yes, destroy a tourist attraction. Oh yeah, you wanted rid of all tourist anyway didn't you? Anyway then you'd have to pay for all your CIA agents to plants thier bugs so far away.


10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer. The Language we speak is ENGLISH...learn it...or LEAVE...Now, isn't that a winner of a plan?


emmmm...Ok, If you want.


In conclusion, these proposals are ill-though through, reckless, impractical or just plain stupid. Thank you

I agree with some points, the rest just made me wonder what the fuck.
ROFLMAO! Me too! :D

There's no need to apologize for getting rid of them. You can apologize over all the dictatorship that you support (and continue to support) and how you fucked with central and south america so much, if you want. I'm sure that they'll appreciate it.
I knew someone would use this ( humorous ) post to rail at the US. You need to get a life. :rolleyes:

It wasn't really funny. And thats an odd thing to say in an internet forum.

I knew someone would use this ( humorous ) post to rail at the US. You need to get a life. :rolleyes:


What did you expect? For people to scream "oh noes! The USA single handendly saved the world! we bow in reverance at your feet!"?

Not going to happen. If you take your head out of the sand, you might just try to learn why.

Except for #2, the initial post is rather silly. And #6 and #7 are contradictory. If we're no longer using oil, and are becoming self-sufficient with oil, then why are we then buying it from Saudi Arabia?

Don't underestimate the power of American stubborness.

Or stupidity, but that's a universal human trait.

Besides, I'd love to see how the US would try to sustain its energy needs and plastics industry if they got all their oil locally. An immediate cut off from Saudi Arabia, Canada and Venezuala means an immediate crash in the stock market and spiraling oil costs. Even if they tried to drill Alaska, that would take what? 2-3 years to set up? In the meantime, the price of oil per barrel would be astronomical with lots of shortages.

After that? I just don't see America becoming energy independent if they don't find some kind of Holy Grail in energy production in less than 10 years after drilling starts in Alaska. More likely, it would collapse in on itself. New York had a power cut that lasted some 12 hours didn't it? And there was quite a bit of disorder and loss wasn't there? Imagine if that happened all over the states for a period of 5 days.

As for disaster management, well, it seems like the US doesn't like recieving aid anyways for their disasters (MREs to be burned WTF?), and their own disaster management is sloppy at best. So I'd say there's no real loss there. We get to see each other burn.

Monster corporations in the US hold massive political clout, and most of these things would serve to piss them off.