NationStates Jolt Archive

Imagine in 2008, Zombie Hitler and Zombie Stalin rooooose from the grraaaaves, and ran for president.

If you couldn't vote third party, and you either had to vote or die, who would you choose?

Death.

Wait...scratch that...uh...yeah, death.

Can't stand genocidal maniacs who specifically target my people (Hitler)
Can't stand politically murdering maniacs who kill more than the genocidal maniacs (Stalin)

Oh yeah, and one of them is guarenteed to win no matter what.

I choose Hitler.

Death, if I couldn't manage to organize a resistance effort.

It's a lose-lose situation.

Well, at least Stalin's sorta left-wing... :(

Yay! Hitlers winning! He's better than stalin, cause stalin sent millions of his own people to die, without gaining ground. Hitler ralied a country, started world war, improved economy and stuff. But in a four-year term he could improve the economy, military, patriotism and everything else. It took him 6 years to begin WWII. So we just can't elect him a second time...

Well, at least Stalin's sorta left-wing... :(

Haha. That sounds like every American election! :D

Are we really arguing the virtues of two people based on the number of people they DIDN'T kill?

Anyway, I'm gonna have to go with...ASSASSINATION....

Load up the Holy Water (altar)boys, we got some candidates to smite!

Stalinmon! I choose YOU!

He has a better moustache.

Are you sure we can't vote for third party Zombie Teddy Roosevelt?

I chose Stalin. The deaths would be indiscriminate and quick. You wouldn't be alienated from society beforehand. It would also lack the support of the general public, for what it's worth.

Yay! Hitlers winning! He's better than stalin, cause stalin sent millions of his own people to die, without gaining ground.


So? What about Viet Nam?

So? What about Viet Nam?

? What about it?

Death. That's just stupid. Like you dying is going to change the outcome of the election...? If you're alive at least you can fight.

so I chose Hitler. 'Cus although he was more murderous, he was less insane, less paranoid, and would probably be easier to get over on and excape from or overthrow.

I gotta go with Stalin, if only because I believe in the ideology he cloaked his evil fascist regime in - ie. socialism.

That or die. But probably vote for Stalin.

Just to clarify, when I said die I meant this very idea. Both are apalling choices. Hitler founded a philosophy on hate and Stalin took a compassioante philosophy and perverted it to hate. Its hard to tell which was wose and which one was harder to pull off.

Statler.

Statler.

That would be one ugly and scary man. I wonder what kind of ubermensch moustache he would have?

That would be one ugly and scary man. I wonder what kind of ubermensch moustache he would have?

http://www.fiveiselectric.com/weblog/images/statler_waldorf.jpg

Something like the guy on the left.

Stalter, the result of some evil conspiracy of sewing together the two zombies of Hitler and Stalin, creating a grand alliance where the canidates share the same body! Which head shall we assassinate? I don't know! :sniper:

Horrors! But which personality would be more dominant?

I'd vote for Stalin...I somehow think it might be a little easier just surviving in twisted communist country.

Tis a tough decision.

On the one hand, as a Fascist I seriously hate Hitler for his major hand in the death of non-Racial fascism. And I know he'd have killed me for my ethnicity.

On the other hand I'd never want to live under communism. Plus as a Fascist i'm sure I'd be killed.

Either way I'd die...but if I go with Stalin, then there's a much larger chance of a fascist uprising taking place and putting a non-Racial Fascist into power...one where I might be more than a common citizen. If I pick Hitler Fascism will be brought down by his racial policies once again.

So I pick Stalin.

My vote is for Hitler...slightly less paranoid. Actually killed fewer people. And German military uni's look way cooler than Russian ones.

This is actually easier then the choosing between the Demopussies and Repulityrants. I voted Hitler, cooler moustache.

Doesn't matter who I vote for, I'll flip a coin...

...because immedeatly afterwards, I'll be joining/starting a resistance movement, in which I will probably die fighting.

Therefore, I chose "death".

Dying: Dying sucks. Even if I voted for one of the two, I could still leave the country and hope to join its enemies to liberate it. Dying however helps no one, including me.
So dying is a no.

Stalin: I've got plans with my life. I want to earn money. Stalin is not big on that kind of thing - he's going to kick the crap out of me personally, so that sucks. To be slightly macabre, chances are that Stalin will kill more people than Hitler would (it depends whether we're talking about Tuvalu or Israel here I guess) - so again, Stalin is the worse choice.

So the answer is Hitler. Bah, who would've thought, but under Hitler, most of the people had a better life than most of the people had under Stalin. I personally am neither Jewish, nor do I look particularly suspicious, so chances are I could survive long enough to hopefully help bring the system down.

On the one hand, as a Fascist I seriously hate Hitler for his major hand in the death of non-Racial fascism. And I know he'd have killed me for my ethnicity.

Fascism: A system of government marked by centralization of authority under a dictator, stringent socioeconomic controls, suppression of the opposition through terror and censorship, and typically a policy of belligerent nationalism and racism.

So... You're ok with killing people for their ethnicity, so long as they're not your people...?

Hitler by a mile.

1. Hitler had the better moustache, no question.
2. Neo-Roman Architecture > anything Stalin came up with. (Albert Speer was supercool)
3. Better uniforms.
4. Panzer tanks and Me-262's were also supercool..
5. Other stuff.

Arg. Hitler running the US! Some crazy religious nut invading other countries and killing lots of people cause he thinks God wants him to... oh wait.

Stalin because i would be killed in nazi country because i am sorta ethnic.

Imagine in 2008, Zombie Hitler and Zombie Stalin rooooose from the grraaaaves, and ran for president.

If you couldn't vote third party, and you either had to vote or die, who would you choose?
I'd point out that one of them is a Georgian and the other an Austrian. Since neither were born in the US, they wouldn't be able to run for President. Case closed.

I'd point out that one of them is a Georgian and the other an Austrian. Since neither were born in the US, they wouldn't be able to run for President. Case closed.

Yeah, we all know how effective the law was in stopping the two of them...

Yeah, we all know how effective the law was in stopping the two of them...They'd have trouble getting into a position where they'd be able to abuse their power like they did under the constraints of the US system.

Tough choice,
Being a white Christian intellectual I'm probably likely to survive Hitler, but will probably be put to death by Stalin. On the other hand since I'm a scientist both of them might let me live if I help them develope weapons. Which of course I would refuse to do and be executed.
In either case I would join the underground resistance assuming they let me live that long

Tough choice,
Being a white Christian intellectual I'm probably likely to survive Hitler, but will probably be put to death by Stalin. On the other hand since I'm a scientist both of them might let me live if I help them develope weapons. Which of course I would refuse to do and be executed.
In either case I would join the underground resistance assuming they let me live that longChristian intellectuals suffered quite badly under Hitler...

i choose death even though i would prefer Stalin to Hitler i still think its more of the same choosing between the devil and the deep blue sea

either way they both killed a lot of people a marginal difference i killing says nothing for either of them

killing is killing wheter you kill one man or ten or ten thousand

shoot me.

*goes to jump off the nearest cliff*

Albert Speer was supercool
http://www.zeit.de/2004/45/A-Speer German
http://www.zeit.de/2005/19/Speer_Verleger German
http://www.newcriterion.com/archive/21/oct02/speer.htm English, but less detailed.

Panzer tanks
If I had to fight in them, I'd prefer the T-34 to almost any German tank...when the German commanders (namely Guderian, or so the story goes) met the first T-34s, they said "If the Russians build this in numbers, we're screwed."

Ugh. Shoot me now.

Caligula

At least it would be interesting.

I'd vote for whichever one was easier to kill.

http://www.fiveiselectric.com/weblog/images/statler_waldorf.jpg

Something like the guy on the left.

LOFL!

Hitler. Someone would stop him eventually, or he'd shoot himself. UNLIKE Stalin. Although, it would put me to shame to ACUALLY vote for ether of them, 'cause they're both sons o' bitches.

It's a STUPID choice. I'll have fun parodying this, just wait and see my post...

shoot me.
Ugh. Shoot me now.
Sorry, only got the one bullet. Now, if you could just put your heads next to each other, that'd be very good of you.
Anyway...I'd vote Hitler.
*allows gasps of shock to die down*
Good economic policies, less chance of random persecution. At least with Hitler you knew what you had to avoid being/doing. Under Stalin it wasn't so easy.
Hitler: 8.5 million (approx.) deaths in 12 years.
Stalin: 30 million (low-mid point in range of estimates) in 24 years.

Considering both would probably send me to a concentration camp or execute me, I would just make it easier on them and die.

Stalin,cos hitler was insane.master race my ass

Well, in this beyond-impossible hypothetical scenario, I'd die. That, or move to the UK. :p

caveat: both are reprehensible and make for offensive choices for president.

I would choose Hitler, and here's why:

Stalin went after his own people... killed far more Russians (both in number and by % of population) than Hitler killed Germans.

of course, hitler was horribly racist in his killing...

dang, they're both really bad.

but if i had to choose or die, i'd choose hitler... because he's less likely than Stalin to kill me.

I'd rather die, START THE RESISTANCE!

(but Id rather choose Stalin since he was actually a good person, sorta, he was on the Allies side)

I'd rather die, START THE RESISTANCE!

(but Id rather choose Stalin since he was actually a good person, sorta, he was on the Allies side)
No, he was on the 'anti-Nazi' side. Something to do with Hitler trying to invade the Soviet Union, I think. Check out the international political climate 5 years after Hitler had been defeated.

Hitler, for sure. He was a good leader (as in he was good at leading, not a good person,) he wasn't paranoid, had good economic policies, wasn't insane, and under him you'd at least know what was coming to you. Stalin was just a dumbass.

I think that someone who thinks that blonde-haired blue-eyed people are super-powerful aliens from outer space who lost all their powers by mixing with humans IS insane, but that's just my opinion.

I'd point out that one of them is a Georgian and the other an Austrian. Since neither were born in the US, they wouldn't be able to run for President. Case closed.
Isn't Georgia in America? :D

I think that someone who thinks that blonde-haired blue-eyed people are super-powerful aliens from outer space who lost all their powers by mixing with humans IS insane, but that's just my opinion.
Aliens from outer space? Where the hell did you get that idea? Are you sure you're not confusing the term "Aryan" with "Alien?"
Not that I'm defending hitler or anything, I'm just saying he wasn't insane and would have made a far better leader than Stalin.

Have to go with Stalin.

Sorry, only got the one bullet. Now, if you could just put your heads next to each other, that'd be very good of you.
Anyway...I'd vote Hitler.
*allows gasps of shock to die down*
Good economic policies, less chance of random persecution. At least with Hitler you knew what you had to avoid being/doing. Under Stalin it wasn't so easy.
Hitler: 8.5 million (approx.) deaths in 12 years.
Stalin: 30 million (low-mid point in range of estimates) in 24 years.
Wait, so Hitler unkilled 3.5 million people?

(The Holocaust killed 12 million.)

Wait, so Hitler unkilled 3.5 million people?

(The Holocaust killed 12 million.)
Ok, sorry, I thought it was only 8.5 - 9 million.
Still fewer than Stalin, though.

Ok, sorry, I thought it was only 8.5 - 9 million.
Still fewer than Stalin, though.
It depends on whether you count the famines as a result of Stali's policies and the war deaths the USSR inflicted.

NOT A NAZI!!!! But I just can't vote communist....

It depends on whether you count the famines as a result of Stali's policies and the war deaths the USSR inflicted.
Sorry, I'll count war deaths as well, plus the deaths as a result of the collectivisation famine. 80 million do you? I was just giving figures for political executions as well as social/cultural persecution, including deaths from the gulag network.

Sorry, I'll count war deaths as well, plus the deaths as a result of the collectivisation famine. 80 million do you? I was just giving figures for political executions as well as social/cultural persecution, including deaths from the gulag network.
I wouldn't count the war deaths seeing as it was Hitler who invaded the Soviet Union. I wouldn't say it was quite that high, perhaps somewhere between 20 to 40 million.

I wouldn't count the war deaths seeing as it was Hitler who invaded the Soviet Union. I wouldn't say it was quite that high, perhaps somewhere between 20 to 40 million.
It's roughly 15-25 million in the gulag network and political executions, 10-15 from famines, and 40-50 million in the war.
Lower end is 65 million, top end is 90 million, including the war.
And I agree about not including war deaths - Stalin's ideas for defending the Soviet Union were always going to generate a high body count, but it was probably the best way to ensure its defence.

It's roughly 15-25 million in the gulag network and political executions, 10-15 from famines, and 40-50 million in the war.
Lower end is 65 million, top end is 90 million, including the war.
And I agree about not including war deaths - Stalin's ideas for defending the Soviet Union were always going to generate a high body count, but it was probably the best way to ensure its defence.
15-25 million in the gulag? I thought it was 8-10 million. :confused:

Death. That's just stupid. Like you dying is going to change the outcome of the election...? If you're alive at least you can fight.

so I chose Hitler. 'Cus although he was more murderous, he was less insane, less paranoid, and would probably be easier to get over on and excape from or overthrow.


He was infact rather paranoid.He had to take all kinds of medication by the end of the war up until his death

15-25 million in the gulag? I thought it was 8-10 million. :confused:
Read 'Gulag: A History of the Soviet Camps' by Anne Applebaum. Won the Pulitzer Prize in 2004. It gave a low estimate of 10 million for certain deaths, and claimed that the real number was up to 100% higher.

"One death is a tragedy; A million is a statistic"
-I.V. Stalin

"One death is a tragedy; A million is a statistic"
-I.V. Stalin
Ten million. It's my nation's motto :D

I'm going to go with Hitler because then every Hitler joke on the Interweb would finally become revelant again. I mean, there is no hope of convincing people to stop making Hitler jokes, so I might as well try to make them funny again.
Anyway, most of the people voting for Stalin are Commies, and I don't want to be part of any group that shortens its name, and still ends up with 7 letters and 2 syllables. Nazis were so much more efficient when it came to letterhead.

Nazis were so much more efficient when it came to letterhead.
Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei?
They didn't call themselves "Nazis", you know.

Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei?
They didn't call themselves "Nazis", you know.
Communists didn't call themselves commies, did they?
I was talking about other people's letterhead (wait, does letterhead have the subject of the memo?) as in "Re: Nazis!" as opposed to "Re: Commies!"
Oh, and I forgot to add that I would much rather spreche Deutsch than whatever crazy language Russians speak (Yes, I know that Russians speak Russian, thats not the thrice-damned point).

I wouldn't vote and if either were elected I would probably be murdered - by Hitler for being a communist and by Stalin for being a genuine Marxist.

So... You're ok with killing people for their ethnicity, so long as they're not your people...?
Italian Fascism never made it part of their doctrine to kill people of any specific ethnicity. There was a point at which Mussolini had created laws restricting Jews from government possitions and where Blacks and whites could not marry, but it was never to the point that he had Jews killed for being jews or Blacks for Being blacks.

You know.....I thought Hitler would be winning for sure.....Stalin is a communist, Hitler is a Nazi. Stalin is a Red, Hitler....is a Nazi. Which is better? Niether. but I still voted for Hitler cause he's cool.....well...better than Stalin.

Guess I'd get to be a martyr for Christ like Alexei....

Hitler I suppose. At least then I would get some spiffy boots and a decent car. Stalinism is just far to dour.

Other than the aesthetics - and choice of autos - there is nothing much to pick between them.

Oooo! I forgot! Hitler has a Charlie Chaplin mustache. Everyone wants to be like charlie.....

Wow...Stalin's got 40% of the vote. The Liberal Party in Canada's got majority governments (well, minority now) off of that for the last fifteen years or so...Weird.

Sincerely

Number III

Stalin.

Other than the fact that I think it really would be better under stalin's rule(The US is the strongest country in the world, with no real enemies besides china that can harm us. We already spend half the world's military budget. He should be happy with our insane amount of military cash), I would also be perfect for his government. Semi-communist(I have my own beliefs, but I would latch onto whatever stalin wanted, to rise up), atheist, no qualms with ends justifying the means, for a strong military, etc etc. As long as I didn't mention trotsky, and avoided any purges, I would do well.

mmhmm...yeah um....hmmmm......

Stalin had a better moustache

Nader!

Springtime for Hitler and Germany...