NationStates Jolt Archive

During the Presidential Morning Brief, GWB was informed that a helicopter crash had claimed the lives of three Brazilians. The President held his head in his hands for a moment, then looked up at the briefer and said, "That's terrible. By the way, how many million are in a Brazilian, anyway?"

At a news conference a few weeks ago GW was asked what he thought of
"Roe vs. Wade".

He said, "I don't care how you get out of New Orleans, just get out".

During the Presidential Morning Brief, GWB was informed that a helicopter crash had claimed the lives of three Brazilians. The President held his head in his hands for a moment, then looked up at the briefer and said, "That's terrible. By the way, how many million are in a Brazilian, anyway?"
Terrible delivery, you fail.

How many Bush Administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb?


None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; it's conditions are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are delusional spin from the liberal media. That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do you hate freedom?

George Bush and Dick Cheney are watching the 18:00 news one evening. Cheney bets Bush $50 that the man in the lead story, who is threatening to jump from a 40 story building, will jump.

"I'll take that bet," Bush replied.

A few minutes later, the newscaster breaks in to report that the man had, indeed, jumped from the building. Cheney, feeling sudden guilt for having bet on such an incident, turns to Dubya and tells him that he does not need to pay the $50.

"No, a bet's a bet," Dubya replied, "I owe you $50 dollars."

Cheney, feeling even more guilty, replied,
"No, you don't understand, I saw the 15:00 edition, so I knew how it was going to turn out."

"That's okay," said Bush, "I saw it earlier too, but I didn't think he'd do it again."

Pretty much any old blonde joke can be recycled to a Bush joke.

However this:

None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; it's conditions are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are delusional spin from the liberal media. That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do you hate freedom?

Classic! :D

How many Bush Administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb?


None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; it's conditions are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are delusional spin from the liberal media. That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do you hate freedom?
Lol. That is quite possibly the funniest Bush-related joke I've ever seen. Brilliant lol :D

How many Bush Administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb?


None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; it's conditions are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are delusional spin from the liberal media. That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do you hate freedom?

ROFL :D

You people should be kidnapped in the night and executed for your treasonous words.

Two guys are sitting in a bar and the guy on the left starts to tell a Bush joke. Then the bar tender pulls a shotgun out from underneath the bar and blows the guys brains against the wall. Then he turns to the other guy and says, "I don't want any fucking traitors in my bar!" :mp5:

Oh man! I love that joke. The comedic timing is simply perfect. It gets funnier every time I hear it. :cool:

A tramper, a priest and Dubja are flying on a plane (let's imagine AF1 had a flat or something...).

The plane gets into trouble and they are looking for parachutes. They only find 2 of them.

"Well", says Bush while putting on one of them, "Since I'm the most important and most intelligent man on the planet, I obviously have the right to one!"

Said it an jumped.

The priest picks up the other one and hands it to the tramper. "Here, my son, take the other one, I do rely on my Lord to safe me."

"Oh", says the tramper while handing the parachute back to the priest, "He already did. The most intelligent man on the planet took my backpack to parachute..."

How do you notice the Bush administration is now responsible for the Sahara?

You don't notice the first 7 years or so, but then sand might be coming in short supply.



A man is being interrogated by the CIA for telling Bush jokes.
"How dare you, tell jokes about the most important and most beloved man in the world?"
"Hey, on this one I'm innocent, that one's not one of mine!"



Bush is holding a speech in front of farmers. At the end of the speech, selected people are presented to him to report.
"Oh, Mr. President, I have to inform you, we never ever had mildew in the last 10 years here."
"My fellow American, rest assured, I will do whatever is possible to give you as much as I can muster!"

How many Bush Administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb?


None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; it's conditions are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are delusional spin from the liberal media. That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do you hate freedom?

OMG! I'm going to change that to Tony Blair and email it to all my friends, thanks! :D

I like Bush, but hey, this is America, and I like jokes as much as the next guy.
But frankly, only about 3 or 4 of these were funny. The rest were just crappy attempts. If your gonna bash my President, at least make me freakin laugh, k?
Example of a good joke.
George Bush and Dick Cheney are watching the 18:00 news one evening. Cheney bets Bush $50 that the man in the lead story, who is threatening to jump from a 40 story building, will jump.

"I'll take that bet," Bush replied.

A few minutes later, the newscaster breaks in to report that the man had, indeed, jumped from the building. Cheney, feeling sudden guilt for having bet on such an incident, turns to Dubya and tells him that he does not need to pay the $50.

"No, a bet's a bet," Dubya replied, "I owe you $50 dollars."

Cheney, feeling even more guilty, replied,
"No, you don't understand, I saw the 15:00 edition, so I knew how it was going to turn out."

"That's okay," said Bush, "I saw it earlier too, but I didn't think he'd do it again."
Example of a dumb joke.
How do you notice the Bush administration is now responsible for the Sahara?

You don't notice the first 7 years or so, but then sand might be coming in short supply.

You forgot Poland!

You people should be kidnapped in the night and executed for your treasonous words.

Two guys are sitting in a bar and the guy on the left starts to tell a Bush joke. Then the bar tender pulls a shotgun out from underneath the bar and blows the guys brains against the wall. Then he turns to the other guy and says, "I don't want any fucking traitors in my bar!" :mp5:

Oh man! I love that joke. The comedic timing is simply perfect. It gets funnier every time I hear it. :cool:
Yea, isn't freedom of speech a great thing? :)

Bush was talking to a group of elementary school kids. After his speech, the aide with him asked the children "Do any of you boys and girls have a question for the President?" A little boy raises his hand. "Yes, what's your name and what is your question?" "Well," said the boy, "my name is Timmy and I'd like to ask the President three questions. First, how come you're President when Al Gore won the popular vote in 2000? Second, why did you go to war in Iraq without a UN resolution? Third, whatever happened to Osama bin Laden?" "Um, well..." stammered Bush. At that point a bell rang. "Well that's the recess bell. Why don't you boys and girls go outside and play and when you come back we'll talk with the President some more." said the aide. After about a half hour, they were again talking to Bush. "OK," said the aide "does anyone else have a question?" A little boy raises his hand. "Yes, what's your name, and what would you like to ask the President?" "My name is Johnny, and I have five questions. First, how come you're Prisdent when Al Gore won the popular vote in 2000? Second, why did you go to war in Iraq without a UN resolution? Third, whatever happened to Osama bin Laden? Fourth, why did the recess bell ring a half-hour early? And fifth, what the hell happened to Timmy?"

How many Bush Administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb?


None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; it's conditions are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are delusional spin from the liberal media. That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do you hate freedom?

:D

Fourth, why did the recess bell ring a half-hour early? And fifth, what the hell happened to Timmy?"

:D

Yea, isn't freedom of speech a great thing? :)

Hahahahaha! Oh man, that is the best joke of the day. Freedom of speech being a great thing. Man you are hilarious.

I almost Onanized and then I saw the ROTC folding the flag a few yards away from my window. (second floor) :(

OMG! I'm going to change that to Tony Blair and email it to all my friends, thanks! :D

Unfortunately the joke wouldn't work then :)