Best Newspaper Headlines Ever.
Terrorist Cakes
01-10-2005, 21:42
"Frantic Scene at a Penticton Donut Shop."
"Man Found Battered Outside Fish And Chip Shop"
Tungoosia
01-10-2005, 21:49
Dog shot his master
Liskeinland
01-10-2005, 21:51
"Bar bottom pinch led to glassing"
Terrorist Cakes
01-10-2005, 21:52
"Man Found Battered Outside Fish And Chip Shop"
Nice pun.
Tungoosia
01-10-2005, 21:54
BABY SWALLOWED A TOASTER
Terrorist Cakes
01-10-2005, 21:55
BABY SWALLOWED A TOASTER
What? How is that even possible?
Jesus Statue Resurrected!
BABY SWALLOWED A TOASTER
How could ANYONE swallow a toaster?!?!
Pitshanger
01-10-2005, 21:58
"Two Teenagers Held Over Bush Fires"
CROCODILES GO HUNGRY DUE TO SHORTAGE OF TOURISTS (http://www.nbc.com/nbc/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_2989/H_2989_01.jpg)
BerkylvaniaYetAgain
01-10-2005, 22:10
Panda Mating Fails - Veterinarian Takes Over
or
Prostitutes appeal to Pope
Terrorist Cakes
01-10-2005, 22:11
Panda Mating Fails - Veterinarian Takes Over
or
Prostitutes appeal to Pope
I love Pope jokes.
Perkeleenmaa
01-10-2005, 22:56
A bit offtopic, but can you see what's wrong with this page of a coloring book:
http://www.saunalahti.fi/~tkokkila/101.htm
South Helghan
01-10-2005, 23:11
"Denmark kills Santa's Reindeer."
not a headline but funny nonetheless.
http://www.nbc.com/nbc/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_2998/H_2998_49.jpg
photo
http://www.nbc.com/nbc/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_2998/H_2998_58.jpg
and an actual add
http://www.nbc.com/nbc/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3003/H_3003_34.jpg
Randomlittleisland
02-10-2005, 17:53
STIFF CONTEST FOR BEST CEMETERY
Read Private Eye, they have hundreds of them.
"Super Cally Go Ballistic Celtic Are Atrocious"
"Keegan Looks To Fill Schmeichel's Gap With Seaman"
The blessed Chris
02-10-2005, 18:46
"Stick it up your Junta"
"Up yours delors"
"Suicide Nuts Strike again"
CanuckHeaven
02-10-2005, 18:54
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
[No, really?]
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
[Now that's taking things a bit far!]
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
[What a guy!]
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
[No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-sos!]
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
[See if that works any better than a fair trial!]
War Dims Hope for Peace
[I can see where it might have that effect!]
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
[You think?]
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
[Who would have thought!]
Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
[They may be on to something!]
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
[You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?]
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
[he probably IS the battery charge!]
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
[Weren't they fat enough?!]
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
[Taste like chicken?]
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
[Boy, are they tall!]
And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
[Did I read that sign right?]
Anarchic Conceptions
02-10-2005, 19:25
An inmate of an aylum (in for various sexual
offences) escaped. He hid from the police in a dry-cleaning factory. The (all female) workers arrived the next morning and the escapee cannot control his urges. He goes mad in a frenzy of raping before fleeing to escape the police. The Sun (I think) ran the the headline:
"Nut Screws Washers and Bolts"
Dalilah Rouge
02-10-2005, 19:27
How recovering meth addict became a heroin
The Sun upon hearing news of the caputure of the July 21st London would-be bombers
Got The Bastards
Turquoise Days
02-10-2005, 19:45
STIFF CONTEST FOR BEST CEMETERY
Read Private Eye, they have hundreds of them.
All hail the Eye!
This is from some local paper:
Woman, 81, dies
On the front page as well :rolleyes:
Myrmidonisia
02-10-2005, 19:45
"Oxygen Helped Mammals Grow, Study Finds"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 29
"Emirates: al-Qaida Threat to Gulf Nations"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 29
"Health Tip: Drink Enough Water"--headline, HealthDayNews, Sept. 30
"Million Dollars Homes Dime a Dozen"--headline, Washington Times. Sept. 30
"Pontiac Enthusiasts to Gather in Pontiac"--headline, Pantagraph (Bloomington, Ill.), Sept. 30
"Sheep, Two-Day Parties Enliven Remote Falklands Isles"--headline, Reuters, Sept. 29
oh and also on the local radio once
Study shows that kids who play truant get involved in more crime and drug taking
Talk about point out the obvious.... :rolleyes:
The Sun upon hearing news of the caputure of the July 21st London would-be bombers
I think their front page headline the morning after the bombings that actually worked was "Bastards"...