Where is Santa going to live?!!!
Marrakech II
30-09-2005, 05:57
This may be disturbing to some of you out there! SANTA is predicted to drown in the Artic sea sometime next century. All those little elves and there funny hats will be gone. The GIANT toy factory will slip between the waves. This will be more tragic than the Titanic going down. Oh the humanity!
Please read:http://www.cnn.com/2005/TECH/science/09/28/arctic.melting.reut/index.html
Klacktoveetasteen
30-09-2005, 05:59
This may be disturbing to some of you out there! SANTA is predicted to drown in the Artic sea sometime next century. All those little elves and there funny hats will be gone. The GIANT toy factory will slip between the waves. This will be more tragic than the Titanic going down. Oh the humanity!
Please read:http://www.cnn.com/2005/TECH/science/09/28/arctic.melting.reut/index.html
Down in the workshop all the elves were makin' toys
For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys
When the boss busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death
Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath
From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo
Like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yuletide Rambo
And he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye
"Merry Christmas to all - now you're all gonna die!"
The night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he'd been gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain
Well, the workshop is gone now, he decided to bomb it
Everywhere you'll find pieces of Cupid and Comet
And he tied up his helpers and he held the elves hostage
And he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage
He got Dancer and Prancer with an old German Luger
And he slashed up Dasher just like Freddy Krueger
And he picked up a flamethrower and he barbequed Blitzen
And he took a big bite and said "It tastes just like chicken!"
The night Santa went crazy
The night Kris Kringle went nuts
Now you can't hardly walk around the North Pole
Without steppin' in reindeer guts
There's the National Guard and the F.B.I.
There's a van from the Eyewitness News
And helicopters circlin' 'round in the sky
And the bullets are flyin', the body count's risin'
And everyone's dyin' to know, oh Santa, why
My my my my my my
You used to be such a jolly guy
Yes, Virginia, now Santa Claus is dead
Some guy from the SWAT team blew a hole through his head
Yes, little friend, now that's his brains on the floor
Guess you won't have the fat guy to kick around anymore
Well now there's no more presents for the children's enjoyment
And the elves gotta stand in line to file for unemployment
And they say Mrs. Claus, she's on the phone every night
With her lawyer negotiating the movie rights
They're talkin' bout the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nicholas flipped
Broke his back for some milk and cookies
Sounds to me like he was tired of gettin' gypped
Woah, the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he's gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain
Woah, something finally must have snapped in his brain
Tell ya, something finally must have snapped in his brain
Down in the workshop all the elves were makin' toys
For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys
When the boss busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death
Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath
From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo
Like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yuletide Rambo
And he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye
"Merry Christmas to all - now you're all gonna die!"
The night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he'd been gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain
Well, the workshop is gone now, he decided to bomb it
Everywhere you'll find pieces of Cupid and Comet
And he tied up his helpers and he held the elves hostage
And he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage
He got Dancer and Prancer with an old German Luger
And he slashed up Dasher just like Freddy Krueger
And he picked up a flamethrower and he barbequed Blitzen
And he took a big bite and said "It tastes just like chicken!"
The night Santa went crazy
The night Kris Kringle went nuts
Now you can't hardly walk around the North Pole
Without steppin' in reindeer guts
There's the National Guard and the F.B.I.
There's a van from the Eyewitness News
And helicopters circlin' 'round in the sky
And the bullets are flyin', the body count's risin'
And everyone's dyin' to know, oh Santa, why
My my my my my my
You used to be such a jolly guy
Yes, Virginia, now Santa Claus is dead
Some guy from the SWAT team blew a hole through his head
Yes, little friend, now that's his brains on the floor
Guess you won't have the fat guy to kick around anymore
Well now there's no more presents for the children's enjoyment
And the elves gotta stand in line to file for unemployment
And they say Mrs. Claus, she's on the phone every night
With her lawyer negotiating the movie rights
They're talkin' bout the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nicholas flipped
Broke his back for some milk and cookies
Sounds to me like he was tired of gettin' gypped
Woah, the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he's gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain
Woah, something finally must have snapped in his brain
Tell ya, something finally must have snapped in his brain
The best Weird Al song ever. No doubts about it.
The best Weird Al song ever. No doubts about it.
No way, that was Amish Paradise.
Kelikstadt
30-09-2005, 14:31
You're assuming that Earth is going to last long enough for the ice caps to actually melt...
This may be disturbing to some of you out there! SANTA is predicted to drown in the Artic sea sometime next century. All those little elves and there funny hats will be gone. The GIANT toy factory will slip between the waves. This will be more tragic than the Titanic going down. Oh the humanity!
Please read:http://www.cnn.com/2005/TECH/science/09/28/arctic.melting.reut/index.htmlThe German Santa doesn't have to bother with that. According to a popular tale, he lives in Heaven and Angels help him wrap presents.
Legless Pirates
30-09-2005, 14:37
Maybe he can start living in Spain with Sinterklaas (http://d1085301.u26.qdc.nl/images/sint1.JPG)
Maybe he can start living in Spain with Sinterklaas (http://d1085301.u26.qdc.nl/images/sint1.JPG)Santa Claus is just a childish form of Sinterklaas...
Legless Pirates
30-09-2005, 14:44
Santa Claus is just a childish form of Sinterklaas...
Santa Claus has elves, Sinterklaas has black people :eek:
Sinterklaas: Keeping it real!
We'll pretty much do what Peter did in the latest Family Guy.
Cry and shoot him.
Kelikstadt
30-09-2005, 14:52
Santa Claus has elves, Sinterklaas has black people :eek:
Sinterklaas: Keeping it real!
Or...Sinterklaas, encouraging slavery. But then actually Santa Claus does technically portray 'midgets' (please correct me on the 'pc' term if the use of the word 'midget' offends you) as being good for slavery... ooooo encouraging children to be prejudiced...
Or...Sinterklaas, encouraging slavery. But then actually Santa Claus does technically portray 'midgets' (please correct me on the 'pc' term if the use of the word 'midget' offends you) as being good for slavery... ooooo encouraging children to be prejudiced...Actually, Saint Nick lived in what is now Turkey and managed to save several children of his town by buying them back from pirates with the church treasures...
Actually, Saint Nick lived in what is now Turkey and managed to save several children of his town by buying them back from pirates with the church treasures...
Nevertheless, Sinterklaas' black servant is always good for some commotion around the 5th of December (his birthday). Last year a Sinterklaas was beaten up pretty badly by people who felt he was a symbol of colonialism :rolleyes:
Nevertheless, Sinterklaas' black servant is always good for some commotion around the 5th of December (his birthday). Last year a Sinterklaas was beaten up pretty badly by people who felt he was a symbol of colonialism :rolleyes:The fifth is his Birthday? Isn't the sixth his holy day? That's when it gets celebrated in Germany...
Ashmoria
30-09-2005, 15:21
santa can do what fema did. contract with carnival cruise lines for a place to live when the ice is gone.
Ealdwode
30-09-2005, 15:21
Don't worry about Santa drowning. Word from acclaimed elven newspaper Puck's Weekly has it that Santa's been planning for a cap melt for some time now. He's already built an extensive system of underwater living facilities. He's got places for his factories, reindeer pastures, and siloes too. Construction of the "Snow Globe" is expected to be completed around 2008, with the first elves to move in around 2015. So yeah. And the elves aren't Santa's slaves. A group of elves hired him to be their boss after Oberon exiled a bunch of them to Lapland.
Of course, The Daily Atlantean persists in claiming that Santa doesn't exist. But most of the imaginary world community believes it's just the pot calling the kettle black.
Kevlanakia
30-09-2005, 15:36
Santa Claus lives in Finland, so no worries.