NationStates Jolt Archive

This guy calls and he's like "Can I speak to the head of the household?"
I explain that it's a student house, so there is no head of the household.
So then he goes and tries to get me to donate money I don't have to help kids with cancer go to camp. Not that it's a terrible cause or anything, but I don't have any spare cash... He was asking for a minimum of $40 donation... which is more than I spend on groceries in 3 weeks... and I'm trying to explain this to him and he's trying to guilt trip me into it. Fuck.

And then some other jerk calls right after. Argh!

the worst are the telephone telemarketers.how i hate them all,no matter how many times you tell them you dont want to switch they just keep calling!!!bastards

This guy calls and he's like "Can I speak to the head of the household?"
I explain that it's a student house, so there is no head of the household.
So then he goes and tries to get me to donate money I don't have to help kids with cancer go to camp. Not that it's a terrible cause or anything, but I don't have any spare cash... He was asking for a minimum of $40 donation... which is more than I spend on groceries in 3 weeks... and I'm trying to explain this to him and he's trying to guilt trip me into it. Fuck.

At least he's doing something for charity (maybe you should give up smoking and drinking to free up money for charity?). Just at dinner this evening I got a call from an Indian guy telling me about some new phone company that I should switch to. :mad:

But at least it's providing Indians with jobs.

i know that feeling, every flipping tuesday i get a call from some indian call centre trying to get me to switch my moblie phone!

At least he's doing something for charity (maybe you should give up smoking and drinking to free up money for charity?). Just at dinner this evening I got a call from an Indian guy telling me about some new phone company that I should switch to. :mad:

But at least it's providing Indians with jobs.
I don't smoke and rarely drink. If anything, I would say that forking out $5000 a year for tuition and $350 a month for rent is what's setting me back. Perhaps I should call people harassing them at dinner time asking them to donate to a poor university student.

I don't mind giving to charity but these calls are annoying. They called my house regularly and kept pushing even after I told them I was UNEMPLOYED

I had one call me "ma'am" once, so I ratcheted my voice up as high as it would go and hummed while he did his thing, then I asked him if he knew how to play crochette, and explained that I would love to give him money, but my cats were sick, particularly Mr. Tiddles, Mumpsy, Paws and Spots. He said something about a payment plan (Gee, thats not suspicious) and I went off on my long plan to get back at Mary for what she said about our George at Patties wedding.
Ive actually got a script specifically calculated to turn a persons brain into cheese. I wish I could watch them while I was talking.
The downside is that tuning my voice that high gives me a sore throat, and I cant do it more than once a week or so :P

However, for those that lack my patience and sadistic personality, simply say the following as politly as possible:
"No, I dont want to give/buy whatever you want me to donate to/buy. Please remove me from your call list"
After that, they are legally obligated to remove you from their call list after three weeks (I think it is), if they dont, you can bring some governmental agency down on them.

Argh!

Another one!

This was one of those ones that just calls and no one says anything and then it just hangs up!

*throws phone accross room*

Now my roommates can get it from now on.

Have you tried the National Do Not Call Registry (https://www.donotcall.gov/default.aspx) ?

Of course, they explain that "Because of limitations in the jurisdiction of the FTC and FCC, calls from or on behalf of political organizations, charities, and telephone surveyors would still be permitted, as would calls from companies with which you have an existing business relationship, or those to whom you’ve provided express agreement in writing to receive their calls."

So the charity guilt calls will continue, unfortunately. But you can ask them not to call you again, and to place you on their do not call list.

If they are decent, they will comply.

Good luck!

when I was in college, if a telemarketer asks for the head of the household, I say Sure, please hold. then leave the phone on the counter. then let someone else pick it up.

then someone make a box with the lable "Telemarketer" on it. the phone goes in there and every now and then someone checks to see if the telemarketer is still on. if not, hang up. if [s]he is still on... back intot he padded box.
Argh!

Another one!

This was one of those ones that just calls and no one says anything and then it just hangs up!

*throws phone accross room*

Now my roommates can get it from now on.careful... those calls tend to be to check if anyone's home. they try to get a pattern of when the house is empty for how long in order to rob it.

snip

Well, when they call my house I try to get them to donate to the "Buy Mt-tau a AK-47" fund.

I had one call me "ma'am" once, so I ratcheted my voice up as high as it would go and hummed while he did his thing, then I asked him if he knew how to play crochette, and explained that I would love to give him money, but my cats were sick, particularly Mr. Tiddles, Mumpsy, Paws and Spots. He said something about a payment plan (Gee, thats not suspicious) and I went off on my long plan to get back at Mary for what she said about our George at Patties wedding.
Ive actually got a script specifically calculated to turn a persons brain into cheese. I wish I could watch them while I was talking.
The downside is that tuning my voice that high gives me a sore throat, and I cant do it more than once a week or so :P

However, for those that lack my patience and sadistic personality, simply say the following as politly as possible:
"No, I dont want to give/buy whatever you want me to donate to/buy. Please remove me from your call list"
After that, they are legally obligated to remove you from their call list after three weeks (I think it is), if they dont, you can bring some governmental agency down on them.

Genius. Can we hear parts of the script?

I don't smoke and rarely drink. If anything, I would say that forking out $5000 a year for tuition and $350 a month for rent is what's setting me back. Perhaps I should call people harassing them at dinner time asking them to donate to a poor university student.
lol, where do you live? Alberta? University tuition fees should be paid by the government, as they are here.

Argh!

Another one!

This was one of those ones that just calls and no one says anything and then it just hangs up!

*throws phone accross room*

Now my roommates can get it from now on.
Just leave the phone off the hook. IOf anyone really wants to call you they can call your mobile phone.

Bolol's Approved Methods of Freaking out Telemarketers

-Speaking in Latin or tongues: they think you're Satanic
-Speak in a foriegn language and/or pretend you don't understand English
-Pretend that you're deaf (it's not supposed to make sense)
-Flirt with them (works especially well if they are same-sex)
-TALK REALLY LOUD but otherwise act normal
-Threaten them with a very grusome and specific fate
-Try to sell them something back (including religious statements)
-Repeat every word they say
-Act as if your someone really important and talk about your wealth
-Rant about how you loathe their kind

Have fun!

Bolol's Approved Methods of Freaking out Telemarketers

-Speaking in Latin or tongues: they think you're Satanic
-Speak in a foriegn language and/or pretend you don't understand English
-Pretend that you're deaf (it's not supposed to make sense)
-Flirt with them (works especially well if they are same-sex)
-TALK REALLY LOUD but otherwise act normal
-Threaten them with a very grusome and specific fate
-Try to sell them something back (including religious statements)
-Repeat every word they say
-Act as if your someone really important and talk about your wealth
-Rant about how you loathe their kind

Have fun!

You forgot the old "Hey, I remember you. Bedwetters' Camp, right?"

when they introduce themselves ask them, "what are you wearing?"

act like dave chappell (lil john act) and say "WHAT?!?" over and over...

act interested for a couple minutes then scream "HOLY SH*T!" and drop the reciever...

Genius. Can we hear parts of the script?
Lessee...
*rummages in My Documents*

(blah) = something I just put in for clarification

(Telemarkter goes off on spiel about product/charity, declares that I am female)
Me (in uber-high voice): Oh, thats nice deary, but Im afraid I cant. You see, my poor cats are sick, why, just the other day poor Mr. Tiddles was (in hushed voice) spraying ALL over the house! It took me hours to clean up! Can you imagine? Are you a cat person? I love my cats, I really do. Theyre loving creatures deep down.
(Personal note, I loathe most cats, most of them should be shot.)
And poor Paws got his tail stuck in the door- go on for some time
(telemarketer expressess his sorrow, attempts to disengage)
Me: Oh, dont go! I have so much to talk about (attempting to sound like Lonely Sister here.), why, just the other day I was talking to Priscila and SHE said to me that her brother is going to marry Ann! Isnt that wonderful? Oh, you wouldnt know them but Im sure your DYING to hear about it. Well, Ann is a bit of a loony, but we all love her anyway, she once gave to a charity or something, and she plays crochette! Isnt that nice? I do wish I knew the rules, do you play by any chance? Ah, well. I suppose I shouldnt be monopolizing on your time deary, but I am so very lonely.
(They generaly take this as a signal to hang up or marry some wierdo who lives alone with twenty cats.)
---

Of course, usualy you have to change to to adapt to what they say, and you can throw in things, such as the occasional "OOOOO!" when they talk about their nobel cause.

Theres some others (like what Bolol posted) that dont really require a script, EX: repeating 'No' over and over, in differnt tones every time, or playing some sort of tone into the receiver. I find that accusing them of spying on you and tapping your phone conversations works as well.

lol, where do you live? Alberta? University tuition fees should be paid by the government, as they are here.
I live in Ontario.

The conservatives made tuition prices go from near $1000 to near $5000 in their time in power and the liberals aren't fixing it 'cause they deceided the only promise they'd keep is not raising taxes back to pre-conservative government levels.

Just leave the phone off the hook. IOf anyone really wants to call you they can call your mobile phone.
I don't have a cell phone. Yes, I am one of the few people in this country that doesn't have one.

I always just ask them to explain to me things about thier charity that they have no way of knowing, like how much money the average worker makes how much goes to the actual cause, what kind of non-profit they are, when they got thier tax number, anything to make them look up a lot of stuff and then when they are done I tell them I am not interested... I have never had the same charity call me twice, I am pretty sure that they put some type of note on the computer about how annoying I am.

as far as people trying to sell you something (new phone service) it always pays off to act crazy, ie tell them you don't have a phone but that you need to see a dr because you have this ringing in your ears and you keep hearing voices and they are always telling you to buy stuff. :D It always freaks them out.

I have also been known to try to keep them on the line and off topic until thier manager takes over the call and then I try to sway them from the script too, it is kinda a sport....

* true confession - I used to be a telemarketer.

* true confession - I used to be a telemarketer.


*Gasp* how could you?

Got any interesting things people said to you?

*Gasp* how could you?

Got any interesting things people said to you?
not really. how I got fired it kinda funny....

guy: I don't buy into all that bull sh*t

me: sir we aren't selling anything, we just want your opinions on this restraunt

guy: I don't eat, leave me alone.

me: you don't eat?

guy: nope I'm a f****ing anorexic

me: oh I am sorry, I won't take up anymore of your time then

guy: f*ck you and the horse you rode in on

me: I didn't ride in on any horse you idiot, I called you, maybe if you would break down and get a burger you wouldn't be such an a** hole.

yeah turns out that call was one being "monitored" for quality. I soo got fired. :(

You forgot the old "Hey, I remember you. Bedwetters' Camp, right?"
Lmao. I want one of them bastards to ring now so I can unleash that. How brilliant.
EDIT: One thing I did was start breathing heavily once they've completed telling me what they're selling/want/etc. After maybe 4 seconds of heavy breathing, I whisper "keep talking" and continue my heavy breathing. Funny reactions.

I got one of these calls a little while ago on my mobile.

"Is this Mr X?"

"No, I'm afraid"

" is this <mynumber>?"

"Yes, but it's since changed hands

"Oh well, you've won..." I hang up right here. I hate those calls.

Now, what infuriates me even MORE is that my number ISN'T SUPPOSED TO BE LISTED!

I am sooo going to try the speaking in tongues one sometime...

This guy calls and he's like "Can I speak to the head of the household?"
I explain that it's a student house, so there is no head of the household.
So then he goes and tries to get me to donate money I don't have to help kids with cancer go to camp. Not that it's a terrible cause or anything, but I don't have any spare cash... He was asking for a minimum of $40 donation... which is more than I spend on groceries in 3 weeks... and I'm trying to explain this to him and he's trying to guilt trip me into it. Fuck.

And then some other jerk calls right after. Argh!
The Telemarketer Trilogy:
http://www.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=031014
http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y180/MrMisanthrope/031014a.gif
http://www.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=031015
http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y180/MrMisanthrope/031015a.gif
http://www.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=031016
http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y180/MrMisanthrope/031016a.gif

i know that feeling, every flipping tuesday i get a call from some indian call centre trying to get me to switch my moblie phone!

LOL.

Actually I like such calls, because I talk to the guy/girl and keep myself updated on things back home. It is kinda fun to me. :p

Lmao. I want one of them bastards to ring now so I can unleash that. How brilliant.
EDIT: One thing I did was start breathing heavily once they've completed telling me what they're selling/want/etc. After maybe 4 seconds of heavy breathing, I whisper "keep talking" and continue my heavy breathing. Funny reactions.

Man, gotta try that.

on the one hand, i'm rather we glad we don't have to deal with such things here..(i'm in gemrany and i never got a single telemarketer call)..
on the other hand, i sooo wish i could try out those hundreds of things i've thought up i could do/say...(ye lived in the US for a year and i ansered quite a lot of these calls..but then..see i lived with a priest and it was her phone and i didn't want anybody to mess with her reputation if ever word got out about it had i done any of these things..)

The Telemarketer Trilogy:
http://www.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=031014
http://www.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=031015
http://www.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=031016
if only that bunny were for real

When they ask for the head of the household, say you're getting them (if you want, you can even yell, "Hey (whoever)! There's a phone call for you!) Wait a few seconds, then answer the phone again in different voice. When they ask if you are the head of the household, say, "Ohhhh, you wanted (whoever)! Just a second please." Then you wait a bit and answer the phone in another voice or accent and repeat until they hang up.

Another fun one is acting like everything they say is a personal insult.

This guy calls and he's like "Can I speak to the head of the household?"
I explain that it's a student house, so there is no head of the household.
So then he goes and tries to get me to donate money I don't have to help kids with cancer go to camp. Not that it's a terrible cause or anything, but I don't have any spare cash... He was asking for a minimum of $40 donation... which is more than I spend on groceries in 3 weeks... and I'm trying to explain this to him and he's trying to guilt trip me into it. Fuck.

And then some other jerk calls right after. Argh!


I say hang on and I'll get them I put the phone done and walk away - I figure I should get to waste their time too.

Another side of outsourcing..

http://apnews.excite.com/article/20050929/D8CU2TEG0.html
Indian Center Handles Hurricane Rita Calls

GANDHINAGAR, India (AP) - Until last week, Madhavi Patel came to work each evening at a western India call center, put on her headset and American accent and spent the night taking calls from Americans about their credit cards. Then, Hurricane Rita happened.

The call center, run by Effective Teleservices of Lufkin, Texas, set up a hot line for victims of the hurricane, and Patel and more than 240 of her colleagues began long days and nights fielding thousands of calls from frantic, scared people affected by the storm half a world away.

The employees at the call center in Gandhinagar, the capital of Gujarat state, are giving Texas residents information about relief operations and where to get food, gasoline and shelter, said center director Jim Iyoob, a former Texan.

The center is receiving about 20-25 calls an hour, he said, adding that some workers had not gone home for days.

One call came from a couple that drove about 60 miles with their children to flee the oncoming hurricane but ran out of gasoline and were stuck for six hours. The hot line directed them to a gas station a few miles away, Iyoob said.

The couple later called back to thank the call center operators, he said.

In recent years, hundreds of Western companies have cut costs by farming out software development, engineering design and call center work to countries where workers are paid considerably less than their counterparts in the United States and Europe.

India is the undisputed king of outsourcing, receiving about 40 percent of the business - a fact that has sown resentment in the United States and western Europe.

Patel, 23, insisted that helping others was more important than any public relations benefit to the call centers.

"We have taken up the responsibility to save people's lives, but we are not here to see our names printed in newspapers," she said.

Iyoob, a member of the company's board, said employees were given two hours of training before the hot line opened.

"Once upon a time, years back, I used to live in Texas and never thought that being in Gujarat in India, I would be able to give it something in return," he said.

Iyoob said a friend from Texas asked him to start the hot line because the company's two call centers there were shut down temporarily. The friend then informed authorities, who publicized the telephone number on local television stations, Iyoob said.

Effective Teleservices is paying all the costs of the hot line, he said. Iyoob also said he could not give names of callers or transcripts of conversations because it was against policy.

Arindam Mukhopadhyay, 22, said he spent his entire weekend at the 500-seat center.

"It was a great experience," he said. "It was an absolute team effort and I am happy that I was part of it."

Patel said the tragedy gave her a chance to learn about a part of the United States she knew little about, and now she wants to visit. After days of directing people to gas stations and places to get food, "Now I know Texas like I know Gandhinagar," she said.

I just ask if I can phone them back, then hang up. Or let one of my girls cry into the phone.