NationStates Jolt Archive

I'm writing this for my creative writing class. Basically: A homophobic transsexual named Bella rents a room with a sexual-fearful young man named Max. Bella, along with his landlord Campuss and his transvestite friend 'Lucy', they run a small drug ring out of his apartment. Eventually Max and Bella fall in love. Campuss becomes greedy and begins to cheat them on deals, so they kill him by injecting a kilo of meth into his veins. 'Lucy' also proves to be problematic because all he does it do the drugs they make. They must kill him, however he is too high all of the time so he doesn't mind, not in the least. Max and Bella have not had sex, so they do and it's disappointing.Max has a sex change and as they exit the hospital, they are arrested. THE END.


What do you think?

I'm writing this for my creative writing class. Basically: A homophobic transsexual named Bella rents a room with a sexual-fearful young man named Max. Bella, along with his landlord Campuss and his transvestite friend 'Lucy', they run a small drug ring out of his apartment. Eventually Max and Bella fall in love. Campuss becomes greedy and begins to cheat them on deals, so they kill him by injecting a kilo of meth into his veins. 'Lucy' also proves to be problematic because all he does it do the drugs they make. They must kill him, however he is too high all of the time so he doesn't mind, not in the least. Max and Bella have not had sex, so they do and it's disappointing.Max has a sex change and as they exit the hospital, they are arrested. THE END.


What do you think?

I think Jane Austin may sue you for plagarism.

Other than that...no, I think that's about where I'm comfortable leaving it.

Injecting a Kilo of meth into his veins? That's serious overkill. A couple of grams of pure crystal meth should do the trick, no?

I think Jane Austin may sue you for plagarism.

Other than that...no, I think that's about where I'm comfortable leaving it.
It's already been done? Goddamn it. Oh well, I still have that story about the American Dream.

A KILO of meth? Why would you possibly do that?

Injecting a Kilo of meth into his veins? That's serious overkill. A couple of grams of pure crystal meth should do the trick, no?
It's meant to be overkill. They're not the brightest of people.

A KILO of meth? Why would you possibly do that?
or how? with a big IV in his sleep?

or how? with a big IV in his sleep?
They chain him to a chair and inject it via a few IVs in each arm.

They chain him to a chair and inject it via a few IVs in each arm.
Nice trip :D

Nice trip :D
Is this a weird way to die? I want this to be what's most remembered.

Is this a weird way to die? I want this to be what's most remembered.

Well, not as weird as being savaged to death by Pamela Andersen dressed only in a bikini made of the heads of beanie babies.

But as deaths go, yah, that one is pretty high on the "That's Some Weird Shit" meter.

Is this a weird way to die? I want this to be what's most remembered.
Describe it right and it will

what happened to good literature?

To me, it sounds uninteresting. Too crossways to really follow, and it seems to be fringe lifestyle even for the fringe people in the country. If these people weren't bright, they wouldn't make it far enough to get to the end of your story.

Depressing.

I fail to see the merits/symbolism/moral/point.

what happened to good literature?
It’s all been done. So people write no-style shit, stick in something controversial, and call it “Modern.”

Depressing.

I fail to see the merits/symbolism/moral/point.
There's no point/merits/symbolism or anything yet.

It’s all been done. So people write no-style shit, stick in something controversial, and call it “Modern.”

Oh, so you've read Michael Cunningham then?

There's no point/merits/symbolism or anything yet.
And obviously no morals...

And obviously no morals...
Yes, it empty. I have another story though, it's much better. It is about liberty and order. It follows young Benito Mussolini, who in the story works for a doctor who holds freedom with contempt, he must travel to America to bring a patient back to Italy. While on the ship to America, he meets two people who believe that freedom is derived from pleasure. Later he meets Ziegler, one who believes that freedom is only for those who can protect it, he is murderous and has no trust in humanity. In the end he meets Dr. Tourence, a pragmatist, who speaks of finding a balance. Benito sees his solution in the state and from there it moves on.

symbolism makes a story interesting! Some kind of commentary on modern life is always the kind of thing a reader remembers!

"It’s all been done."

to good writers thats called laziness and laughed at. wake up it hasn't all been done

That's some fucked up sh!t.

you have the synopsis of a novel there. if its creative writing im thinking that you need a short story.

a short story is a very small story told well. to go with your first example... the story would be what its like to share a bathroom with a transsexual roommate. or what its like to realize that your new roommate is cooking meth. nothing that spans more than a day.

benito could have dinner with the other 2 guys and all the issues could come out intermixed with discussion of how good (or bad) the food and wine is and how everyones family is.

I'm writing this for my creative writing class. Basically: A homophobic transsexual named Bella
Here, I'd agree with whomever said that this is the fringe of the fringe. Further, I don't see how you can be self-admitting transexual and be homophobic, at one stage of the game or another you would have to have some desire for the same sex, right? Unless he is a lesbian trapped in a man's body, in which case he should be shot for being a cliched joke.
rents a room with a sexual-fearful young man named Max.
And hilarity insues! Its the original odd couple!
No, wait, it isn't that original.
Bella, along with his landlord Campuss and his transvestite friend 'Lucy',
At this point I am feeling sorry for Campuss, I mean, that guy has got to feel left out as the only one with a normal sexuality. He's the Majority Minority in this story.
they run a small drug ring out of his apartment.
Doesn't everybody?
Eventually Max and Bella fall in love.
OK, Sexophobe + (Homophobe + Transexual) = Completely normal couple, yeah right.
Campuss becomes greedy and begins to cheat them on deals, so they kill him by injecting a kilo of meth into his veins.
This just makes me giggle. A kilo? I know that it is supposed to be over the top, but, a kilo? Now, I know they aren't all that bright, but they have to know something about the stuff their handling, and they've probably had a junkie die on them before
'Lucy' also proves to be problematic because all he does it do the drugs they make. They must kill him, however he is too high all of the time so he doesn't mind, not in the least.
Then why did they hire him on? Its like that loser pothead from Dracula 3000 whose only apparent purpose was to jack-off, do drugs, get killed, and annoy the crap out of me. What purpose did that idiot serve on the ship, anyway? Why did I watch that movie?
Max and Bella have not had sex, so they do and it's disappointing.
Me and my roommates haven't had sex, and I intend to keep it that way. However, this is far too much for a short story. Just the massive character switch from "Sexophobe Max" to "Shagging Transexuals Max" would probably be beyond the scope of a short story (excepting porno, but I doubt that your teacher/proffesor wants to read "Stella and Maria: First Time Lesbians Part XXX for this assignment) even without all the drug stuff.
Max has a sex change and as they exit the hospital, they are arrested.
Yeah, this part of the story is fine, but I've always been a sucker for Arrest Sequences. That and House Cleaning Scenes are the whole reason why I watch organized crime based movies.

In summation, I'd give you a "D" for Declension, because nouns are great! Your plot isn't great though, and that makes this man sad: :(