Warning! Katrina has unleashed armed and dangerous trained killer dolphins!
Drunk commies deleted
26-09-2005, 15:58
Yep, 36 killer dolphins trained to kill enemy divers have been released by the hurricane and may be carrying poisoned dart guns. Surfers are advised to take up skateboarding.
http://observer.guardian.co.uk/international/story/0,6903,1577753,00.html
The South Islands
26-09-2005, 15:59
I would put money on the those dolphins having some sort of tracking device on them.
Drunk commies deleted
26-09-2005, 16:00
If only someone had thought ahead and gotten some sharks with frikin laser beams on their heads we could have an effective weapon to stop these dolphins.
The South Islands
26-09-2005, 16:01
Or angry Sea Bass with Fricken Lazer Beams!
Yep, 36 killer dolphins trained to kill enemy divers have been released by the hurricane and may be carrying poisoned dart guns. Surfers are advised to take up skateboarding.
http://observer.guardian.co.uk/international/story/0,6903,1577753,00.html
OMG! Call The Weekly Wold News, Move On and Kos! It's another reason why Bushilter caused the hurricanes! He wanted to kill hippy stoner surfboarders!
West Pacific
26-09-2005, 17:00
The Navy only trains dolphins to find mines and divers, not kill divers. When the dolphins find a diver they are given tracking device which they then use to swim up to and clamp on the leg of the intruders so that Navy divers can go get them. Sea Lions are also used for this job. And even if they did use "poison dart guns" they won't have them, the said guns would be locked up in storage when the Hurricane hit so the dolphins would just be your ordinary flipper.
Anagonia
26-09-2005, 17:16
Whew, another one for the wierd pages.....
But, who knows, it could happen? I mean, heck.....you never know! O.o
Drunk commies deleted
26-09-2005, 17:17
Whew, another one for the wierd pages.....
But, who knows, it could happen? I mean, heck.....you never know! O.o
Of course it happened. It's in the Guardian! This didn't come from Weekly World News.
Ashmoria
26-09-2005, 17:21
i suggest you avoid swimming in the gulf for now in any case
my sister was talking to a guy who had been in new orleans and went to the shore in the area. he said you could see from the beach that the water was full of sharks.
Secluded Islands
26-09-2005, 17:23
i suggest you avoid swimming in the gulf for now in any case
my sister was talking to a guy who had been in new orleans and went to the shore in the area. he said you could see from the beach that the water was full of sharks.
...sharks...they scare the pizzle out of me...
Randomlittleisland
26-09-2005, 18:44
Well, I heard a while ago that American troops in Iraq expend more than 250,000 rounds of ammunition for every insurgent they kill, maybe these poison-dart-uber-kickass-sniper-dolphins should give them lessons in target practice. :p
My bet is that they were actually released to fight the Mexican navy :p
My bet is that they were actually released to fight the Mexican navy :p
Mexico has a navy :confused: :fluffle:
Gymoor II The Return
27-09-2005, 22:52
This thread was funnier when I posted it several days ago...
:D
BerkylvaniaYetAgain
27-09-2005, 22:54
All I know is I bet the tuna industry is really scared right now.
Sheesh, first it's Africanized Killer Bees. Now we have Assassin dolphins. What's next? Cute, fuzzy bunnies with chainsaw paws and lazer beam eyes?
Megaloria
27-09-2005, 22:55
Jihad, and thanks for all the fish. Damned terrorist aquamammals.
Who the hell thought it was a good idea in the first place?
Turquoise Days
27-09-2005, 23:12
Who the hell thought it was a good idea in the first place?
Well they've got a budget that includes a christmas party, right? With free booze, right? You can see where I'm going with this...
BerkylvaniaYetAgain
27-09-2005, 23:16
Who the hell thought it was a good idea in the first place?
Well, George W. Bush, Cindy Sheehan and Mike Brown were all sitting around at a drum circle in downtown Portland one night, drinking Southern Comfort and getting high...
Dontgonearthere
27-09-2005, 23:47
The Navy only trains dolphins to find mines and divers, not kill divers. When the dolphins find a diver they are given tracking device which they then use to swim up to and clamp on the leg of the intruders so that Navy divers can go get them. Sea Lions are also used for this job. And even if they did use "poison dart guns" they won't have them, the said guns would be locked up in storage when the Hurricane hit so the dolphins would just be your ordinary flipper.
I think they used to have a sort of 'death bracelet' thing, basicaly a compressed gas canister that the dolphin could carry around. They were trained to bump into a diver so that the bracelet would close and lock. Then somebody could trigger it or capture the diver.
Nasty way to die though, supposedly it could force your organs out through various orifices.
It might have been the Russians who had that one though, Im not sure.
It was on the History Channel though, so it must be true!
:P