NationStates Jolt Archive

Mostly Harmless (Competition!)

25-09-2005, 18:27
Reporter for the Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy. One report needed for Planet Earth of Sector ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha. Report must include basic -
Lifeform information
Where to have a good drink
Word limit: 100 words. Apply within.

OK, I'm just using Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy because I think it's an amusing idea, but what I what to know is could you summarise our planet and humankind in under 100 words? Post below with your responses (feel free to comment on others so long as you're nice) and I'll pick the wittiest, funniest and most apt report as the winner. Have fun!
Neo Kervoskia
25-09-2005, 18:28
25-09-2005, 18:30
In the way of progress.
Nietzsche Heretics
25-09-2005, 18:34
not worth the hussle because the humans will are in the process of destroying earth already and will succeed within the next 100 years.
25-09-2005, 18:40

I'm assuming you mean the planet and not me specifically.
Neo Kervoskia
25-09-2005, 18:42
I'm assuming you mean the planet and not me specifically.
25-09-2005, 18:44
70% water.
25-09-2005, 18:48
A Work in Progress, leading up to a culmination that only God knows... and he ain't telling. A world constantly in a state of Confusion and upheaval, where they experience a revolution every 24 of their Earth Hours. A great place to visit, but staying may not be by choice. so pack for a varying of climates and prepare for extreme enviroments.

oh, and the weather, flora and fauna are nice too. just watch out for the Hairless Simians.

and don't drink the water.
25-09-2005, 18:53
History: an awful lot of wars; presumably over who has the longest phallus.

Cuture: This planet has not sufficiently evolved to have culture

Geography: the planet's one asset. If only the lifeforms saw it that way.

Lifeforms: Bipedal. Similar to many other lifeforms in the galaxy, but without anything resembling common sense.

Where to have a good drink: Carnival in Rio, Mardi Gras in New Orleans, any Irish pub.
Qwerty Lands
25-09-2005, 18:54
The life of the Human species began life on Earth a few million years ago, where they would run about yelling 'ug ug!' and hitting each other with big clubs. Since then, not much has changed.

The Earth is made up of roughly 2/3 water and 1/3 land, which is divided into seven continents. Although, popular belief amongst the majority of humans who live in the continent known as 'America', and more specifically, the area known as 'USA', believe that there is only 1 continent, made up of 1 country, and that the Universe revolves around them. This is, of course, completely inaccurate ... But try telling them that!

The actual human lifeform is an interesting one. Although the female of the species is very much like most other species around the Universe, the male is different in that its brain is located between its legs. Because of the location and size of the male brain, it makes it very easy for the female to manipulate the male into doing exactly what she wants!

(Yeah, it's over 100 words ... I got carried away! :p )
25-09-2005, 19:00
Oooh, some good ones so far!
25-09-2005, 19:05
The will to power, and nothing more!
25-09-2005, 19:40
Desperate Measures
25-09-2005, 19:52
History: Often made up. Impossible to reconcile with logic.

Culture: The bi-peds are fairly good at drawing pleasant pictures.

Geography: Mostly hard black stuff studded all about with incredibly tall buildings and interspersed here and there with shrubbery. (New York City only. Not wise for alien beings to venture elsewhere.)

Lifeforms: Don't ask for directions from the sentient life forms that require more than two steps. Do not mention inter-gallactic travel. Beyond them.

Where to have a good drink: Look for the letters I-M-P-O-R-T-E-D on the label.
25-09-2005, 19:55
Harmless. :D

Well, Mostly Harmless.