NationStates Jolt Archive

It seemed like a good idea at the time. FEAR THE MONGOOSE!!!

ITA ERAT QVANDO HIC ADVENI

Nah...a friend of mine is intending to hand his dissertation in late (it's due in after next Easter...), just so he can use an excuse derived from the X-Files. It's a quote from Mulder, talking about a viral apocalypse, and genetically engineered human-alien hybrids. Well, I find it funny...

Oops, wrong web site...google...start search with...porn. :D

I have a cold....

Oops, wrong web site...google...start search with...porn. :D
You, well we've all done it. FEAR THE MONGOOSE!

My grandmother died.


(can only use twice, though :P )

It seemed like a good idea at the time. FEAR THE MONGOOSE!!!

I didn't know.

Try it. Rob a bank and say "oh, i'm sorry, i didn't know armed robbery was illegal"

:)

I'm lame.............. :p

Anything homework/essay/report for work. Look them in the eye and say that you can't believe it and that you're totally serious but sorry, your dog ate it.

Note: Your actual nerve must be greater than that you'll be given credit for.

Once my hamster really did eat my homework.

I brought in the chewed up shredded remains of my assignment.

For women/girls/members of the human race with the Y chromosome: It's a "lady" problem.

She walked into a door.

Eutrusca made me do it.

Once my hamster really did eat my homework.

I brought in the chewed up shredded remains of my assignment.
You chewed it up yourself just to make it seem plausible, didn't you? :p

I had a friend who used the line "My grandpa chewed it up." It didn't work.

For women/girls/members of the human race with the Y chromosome: It's a "lady" problem.

O_o I think that you mean 'without a Y chromosome'...

Once my hamster really did eat my homework.

I brought in the chewed up shredded remains of my assignment.

My classmate once used the excuse "i was walking to school and this giant cigar shaped thing appeared in front of me, and a strange green creature, with antenna, walked out and took my homework from me...he looked at it, shook his head, then got back in his ship and flew away, taking my homework with him :("

The teacher liked the excuse so much he let him off...

My classmate once used the excuse "i was walking to school and this giant cigar shaped thing appeared in front of me, and a strange green creature, with antenna, walked out and took my homework from me...he looked at it, shook his head, then got back in his ship and flew away, taking my homework with him :("

The teacher liked the excuse so much he let him off...
I think the best "I dont' have my homework excuse" I ever came up with (in terms of success, not creativity) was in my Honors English class my senior year of high school. I skipped out on a checkpoint for our senior papers, and those things were worth 50 points or something, so when my teacher asked me about it, I kinda panicked. I remember I looked at her and she was staring at me expectantly and I nodded and said "Quality over quantity, Ms. A.....quality over quantity."

And it worked.

And I'm not even sure what the hell I meant by it, but I got a 98% on my project, so.......who knows.

I used some old recycled scratch paper for one of the problems, but it turned out they had schematics for the Sears Tower all over the back of them. And well it turns out the FBI had my house under surveillance and stormed it at that point. They confiscated all my things and were about to haul me off, when I was able to make a deal with them and agreed to be bugged for the rest of my life. But they took my homework, so now it's probably stashed away in the basement of some federal building in DC.

I ate my homework.

sorry i can't come in, my dog ate my car



but really i have heard of the hamster eating homework, a technology teacher proved it once.


i couldnt do my homework, because the mob wouldnt let me.

or Im sorry i am not authorised to answer that
* said whilst acting as if bugged or under survielence

I can't tell you what happened to my homework,it classified

then mutter into your collar,something like,the teacher is suspicious begin surveillance.then start breaking into the teachers house and changing things just a little,so they know someone has been there,but if they tell anyone they wont think anything of it.then make a threatening call and claim it's from the government.faking a UFO encounter wouldn't hurt either.oh and start planting things like homemade explosives around the house,so if the teacher ever does get the nerve to actually call the government they'll end up getting arrested.



i have too much time on my hands

Frankly sir, I really, quite simply, couldn't be arsed, it was a pointless exercise, and I had a multitude of more productive activities to do :p

I don't advocate this, I was nearly expelled :D

A good one when you arent ready for a test,is to not hand it up,then get claim you did.a friend of mine did that,the teacher believed she had lost it and gave him 100%

"She looked older than 18 to me..."

but really i have heard of the hamster eating homework, a technology teacher proved it once.
They do it. If you leave the paper near the cage, they just pull on it and chew it up and make a nest out of it.

"Because you're stupid."

Once my hamster really did eat my homework.

I brought in the chewed up shredded remains of my assignment.
How about combining: "My grandma ate my homework and died."

I actually came late for several days, because my alarm clock was broken. I smashed it, cut some of the parts it into pieces and gave select pieces to the teacher. I think that she believed it then...

I was going to do it but meh.

Simonist']I think the best "I dont' have my homework excuse" I ever came up with (in terms of success, not creativity) was in my Honors English class my senior year of high school. I skipped out on a checkpoint for our senior papers, and those things were worth 50 points or something, so when my teacher asked me about it, I kinda panicked. I remember I looked at her and she was staring at me expectantly and I nodded and said "Quality over quantity, Ms. A.....quality over quantity."

And it worked.

And I'm not even sure what the hell I meant by it, but I got a 98% on my project, so.......who knows.

On a vaguely related subject, i remember when i was doing my History Degree, i never used to turn up to the classes on American Foreign Policy. One time i did and wowed the class. The tutor (who'd known every American president since LBJ personally, which i found kinda cool given it was a backwoods Uni in the UK) turned to the class and said "Thats what i like about Gareth...on the rare occasions he turns up, he always has something good to say"

Loaded compliments ahoy!

I ate my homework.
I've used that once. The not-so-snappy comeback from the teacher was "Why". Obviously I replied I was hungry. When you behave like me, people tend to believe you, if you sound even remotely serious.

I also had to tell a teacher once that I didn't have my homework anymore, because I'd folded a paperhat out of it, and later gave it away to a younger kid. I wasn't lying, and my teacher amazingly managed to get her hands on the assignment, as she were teaching the kid I gave the hat to later that day.
She was shocked I hadn't been lying.

The one I'm most proud of, was when I handed my teacher a note instead of the assignment, which read something like this: "I apologise, but the asignment was so dreadfully boring, I tried gouging my eyes out with it in desperation. Alas the thing was too dull. After this miserable effort, I felt disinclined to bother with the thing any further." Sadly, the teacher didn't think it was nearly as amusing as I did.

And a few "I'm late for work/not comming in" ones:

"Sorry boss. I can't find my legs, so I'm staying in."

"I'll be late. Someone left a dead anomal in my mouth while I slept & I can't get rid of the stench."

"Sorry boss, can't come in today. Family emergency. I died."

And a lot of other, weirder ones. Like when I claimed someone had blocked all exits from my flat with crates. Of course he asked what was in them, and hung over as I was, the only thing I could think of was beer. 20 minutes later, I was promising to buy beer to everyone after work.... Yes, they came looking.

Anyway, I've sometimes been warned very strongly for not taking stuff seriously, others appreciate it. Every so often though, weird shit really does happen, so people who know me rarely know whether they should believe me or not.

:sniper: <-- that fucker shot me and my homework got killed by him --> :gundge:

This playmation dog named Goliath made me do it!!!! Davy Jesus wouldn't like you touching Sally that way.