NationStates Jolt Archive

HOUSTON- Following a press conference held by President Bush on Tuesday, National Guard, Coast Guard, and Navy personnel have been called up to "fight the hurricanes there instead of fighting them here."

Following the devastation of Hurricane Katrina earlier this month which caused massive loss of life and commerce, President Bush has toughened his stance against any tropical storm or hurricane which threatens the American coast.

"The Coast Guard is officially falling under operational orders of the Navy, and both will be shipped out to the central Gulf as soon as possible," Bush said during the conference, "and we will stop this new, possibly devastating hurricane before it has the chance to kill any Americans."

Attacks on the Hurricane Commence

Early Wednesday morning B-52s commenced heavy carpet bombing on various locations along the west side of the hurricane causing, reportedly, "Little to no damage." Later in the morning F-14 Tomcats from the USS Nimitz commenced raids on the hurricane also causing no identifiable damage.

Meanwhile along the Texas coast, National Guard have been preparing for the worst.

"When we arrived in New Orleans after Katrina it was too late," National Guard 1st Cavalry Division commanding general Maj. Gen. Peter Chiarelli told The Foxxinnian. "But this time, however, we are prepared."

National Guard units from around Texas and the nation have stationed themselves along Padre Island and the other thin beach islands along Texas's Gulf coast to act as a last line of defense if the Navy is unable to destroy Hurricane Rita before landfall.

Maj. Gen. Peter Chiarelli continued: "Not only do we have thousands of troops prepared in the art of Weather Combat, but we also have Bradley fighting tanks and other heavy artillery. We don't think this storm has a chance."

Hurricane Rita is expected to make landfall on the Texas coast late Friday.

ROFL
:D :D :D

...

It's sad that I believed this, isn't it?

It just seems like something they would try. :eek:

That's a real gem. :D

I can just picture Bush declaring War on Weather!

The sad part is I can actually see him ordering that. ;p

Please tell me that came from the Onion. Because Bush is probably stupid and/or crazy enough to try this. :D

Please tell me that came from the Onion. Because Bush is probably stupid and/or crazy enough to try this. :D

Maj. Gen. Peter Chiarelli told The Foxxinnian.

;)

Yeah, we've got the War on Terror, War on Poverty, War on Drugs and maybe even a War on Moral decay in the offing. Next up, the War on Weather.

"We'll chase them varminty winds back where they came from." :p

That's a real gem. :D

I can just picture Bush declaring War on Weather!
As long as I can write his speech. With ANALOLGIES!
*Brick+head=pain*

Makes me think of Mayor West attacking the ocean in last week's Family Guy.

C'mon guys, I really don't think this a laughing manner...:(

C'mon guys, I really don't think this a laughing manner...:(

Read it closely, man... you'll see the humor.

Bradley fighting tanks
Fools! Don't they know that the Bradley isn't a tank, it's an IFV?!

And they expect us to take this seriously :p :D

Read it closely, man... you'll see the humor.

I see the humor, I just dont find it...humorous. Hurricane Rita is probably going to kill some people, at the very least destroy some lives when it comes ashore. I don't think we should talk about National Guardsmen and Coast Guardsmen pre-emptive striking it, when in actuallity they will probably be down there fishing out bodies in a week or two.

Imagine if I wrote a news article about Chinese MiGs launching missiles at the Tsunami....seriously wtf?

Imagine if I wrote a news article about Chinese MiGs launching missiles at the Tsunami....seriously wtf?
.....

If you're going to make fun of something, get your facts right. There are no 1st Cav units in the Nat. Guard. Their is only one operational F-14 squadron, the VF-115 Black Knights of CAW-5 (Carrier Air Wing), stationed in Atsugi, Japan. As of fiscal year 2007, these will be replaced by F/A-18E/F Super Hornets. Bradley's aren't tanks, their APC's.
Sorry for the rant, it was rather quite humorous.

btw, i'm from san antonio.

.....

Don't get me on semantics here....Banda Aceh doesnt have MiGs....Especially when it makes about as much sense as the original post.

Don't get me on semantics here....Banda Aceh doesnt have MiGs....
India probably does...

Still I would say that the Tsunami was moderately worse than everything that ever happened in the US.

India probably does...

Still I would say that the Tsunami was moderately worse than everything that ever happened in the US.

Moderately worse...how do you draw the line on humans lives????

Same idea as:
"Its only a genocide when 500,000 people die...so 499,000 people from Rwanda doesnt count"

Just because somethings worse, doesn't make it right.

If one person dies in the hurricane its too much.
I still think the whole thread is in really bad taste.

If you knew someone who died in the hurricane, or if you were or knew a Guardsmen, maybe you would understand.

Moderately worse...how do you draw the line on humans lives???? Well, it's true, I'm horrible enough to say a house fire killing two is not as bad as a nuclear explosion killing 200,000.
I never did say though that it doesn't count.

I still think the whole thread is in really bad taste.
Bah, you can't argue about taste... ;)
If you can't take bad things with good humour, then what's the point?

Moderately worse...how do you draw the line on humans lives????

Same idea as:
"Its only a genocide when 500,000 people die...so 499,000 people from Rwanda doesnt count"

Just because somethings worse, doesn't make it right.

If one person dies in the hurricane its too much.
I still think the whole thread is in really bad taste.

If you knew someone who died in the hurricane, or if you were or knew a Guardsmen, maybe you would understand.
Stop being such a pinky.

Whatever, I may not agree with it, but you are right. I can't argue about taste. Enjoy it while you can.

Enjoy it while you can.
Hmmmmmm
:confused:

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=332574

-Your average hurricane has more power than all stockpiled nuclear arms in the world. With our military budget, we could probably do it (or, at least, divert it), but it wouldn't be a good investment- we'd spend tens of billions diverting forces and lose years of production in the form of fleets and ordnance. Plus, it might not work- I don't think anything like this has been seriously tried.

(Before you get up in arms, about "heartlessness", blah blah "blood of our heroes" blah blah "danger to the fleet" blah "patriot!")

Hmmmmmm
:confused:

Just saying that you should enjoy life while you can....you never know when something terrible (I.E. a category 5 hurricane) could swing by. ;)

Hmmmmmm
:confused:

Perhaps he is threatening your freedom of speech.

Which would make him... a TERRORIST!

*gets on phone to Gitmo*

As to the thread - ROFL :D