NationStates Jolt Archive

Yes, welcome to the Jolt area where you can ask the Smartest Man in the World anything about anything and he will give you an accurate response. The Smartest Man in the World is always right, and cannot be proved wrong. However, the Smartest Man in the World asks that you don't ask anything that does have answers, because ummm, the Smartest Man in the World, ummmm, thinks those are too simple, so he might be confused.

Come and give the Smartest Man in the World what you got!

So, when's he turning up?

The world seems long-overdue for the next big flood.

When will this occur, or will it not occur because God promised Noah there would be no more floods? If it doesn't occur, what will happen instead? The Apocolypse? If so, what will be the final trigger of this event, and when will it occur?

So, when's he turning up?

The only thing He has to say is, in three days.

The world seems long-overdue for the next big flood.

When will this occur, or will it not occur because God promised Noah there would be no more floods? If it doesn't occur, what will happen instead?

God gave Noah the rainbow for a sign,
No more water, but the fire next time.

...is the time-honoured response here.

The world seems long-overdue for the next big flood.

When will this occur, or will it not occur because God promised Noah there would be no more floods? If it doesn't occur, what will happen instead? The Apocolypse? If so, what will be the final trigger of this event, and when will it occur?


You see, one day, the levee which protects this world from flooding will break, most likely because the milky way is spilling. So, our ozone layer will be annihalated by evil space pirate invaders, and then the milk of the Milky Way will spill onto Earth killing all those who are lactose intolerant..and consequently, those who survive or go to the kingdom of God are those who can drink milk. Because I myself am lactose intolerant, that's bad news for me.

Steven Hawking is coming?sweet,i always wanted to ask him what is was like being on the simpsons.

Steven Hawking is coming?sweet,i always wanted to ask him what is was like being on the simpsons.


Steven Hawkins is just a fraction of my intelligence. Only I know the true answers, because I have all the sweet hookups and shyt.

The only thing He has to say is, in three days.
Just like Jesus! :eek:

Steven Hawkins is just a fraction of my intelligence. Only I know the true answers, because I have all the sweet hookups and shyt.

maybe,but you weren't on the simpsons

You see, one day, the levee which protects this world from flooding will break, most likely because the milky way is spilling. So, our ozone layer will be annihalated by evil space pirate invaders, and then the milk of the Milky Way will spill onto Earth killing all those who are lactose intolerant..and consequently, those who survive or go to the kingdom of God are those who can drink milk. Because I myself am lactose intolerant, that's bad news for me.

:D

Thanks. I knew pirates would have to play a part somehow. ;)

You see, one day, the levee which protects this world from flooding will break, most likely because the milky way is spilling. So, our ozone layer will be annihalated by evil space pirate invaders, and then the milk of the Milky Way will spill onto Earth killing all those who are lactose intolerant..and consequently, those who survive or go to the kingdom of God are those who can drink milk. Because I myself am lactose intolerant, that's bad news for me.
Sounds something by L Ron Hubbard :D

maybe,but you weren't on the simpsons

You have found the way to undermine the power of the Smartest Man. If we only lived five hundred years ago I would be able to kill you for this.

who killed JFK?

Here is a question for you: Just because you are smart, why do you expect us to automatically assume that you are knowledgeable, reasonable, and truthful?

Because the best person to answer any question is the person who has the most knowledge, is able to use their knowledge most effectively, and is willing to share it, not simply someone who has the potential to most easily acquire knowledge. You could literally be the smartest person in the world, but you could be immensely ignorant, with beliefs that are swayed by emotion, and a problem with compulsive lying.

After that, my second question for you is: How can you claim to be the "smartest person in the world," when clearly, perceptions of intelligence are so relative?

who killed JFK?


It actually took me a while to figure this out, including the mass murder of two million Cambodians [after taking the body of that damn Buddhist Pol Pot], and over six hundred thousand in Rwanda, which have absolutely nothing to do with JFK - regardless, after killing most of those third world nation's populations I came with the conclusion that the man who killed JFK was Oswald.

Now, who pushed Oswald to do it..that's a totally different question.

Here is a question for you: Just because you are smart, why do you expect us to automatically assume that you are knowledgeable, reasonable, and truthful?

Because the best person to answer any question is the person who has the most knowledge, is able to use their knowledge most effectively, and is willing to share it, not simply someone who has the potential to most easily acquire knowledge. You could literally be the smartest person in the world, but you could be immensely ignorant, with beliefs that are swayed by emotion, and a problem with compulsive lying.

After that, my second question for you is: How can you claim to be the "smartest person in the world," when clearly, perceptions of intelligence are so relative?


1] However, you assume that I just gather knowledge, which is completely untruthful. My huge ass brain, which is about thirty cubic kilometers big, has the ability to take in information, analyze it, and link it with things that normal human beings, including the man writing what you're reading now, would take years to stipulate - all in a matter of seconds.

2] Because I'm a pimp.

It actually took me a while to figure this out, including the mass murder of two million Cambodians [after taking the body of that damn Buddhist Pol Pot], and over six hundred thousand in Rwanda, which have absolutely nothing to do with JFK - regardless, after killing most of those third world nation's populations I came with the conclusion that the man who killed JFK was Oswald.

Now, who pushed Oswald to do it..that's a totally different question.


AHEM:

Oswald fired the shots, posessed by the ghost of John Wilkes-Booth, planned by Jack Ruby, with a weapon provided by the Mussolini Zombie and Hitler Ghoul.

AHEM:

Oswald fired the shots, posessed by the ghost of John Wilkes-Booth, planned by Jack Ruby, with a weapon provided by the Mussolini Zombie and Hitler Ghoul.


That still doesn't stop the fact that the man who actually fired the gun was Oswald. As a consequence, it was Oswald, not John Wilkes-Booth, who killed Kennedy.

Regardless, your theory leaves out nothing except one vital fact. And that fact is that I like cheese.

1] However, you assume that I just gather knowledge, which is completely untruthful.No, I don't. Because regular human beings don't just gather knowledge. The fact that I mentioned reasonableness, emotions, and sincerity imply analysis.

My huge ass brain, which is about thirty cubic kilometers big, has the ability to take in information, analyze it, and link it with things that normal human beings, including the man writing what you're reading now, would take years to stipulate - all in a matter of seconds.How strange, because, you know, I would think that if you'd evolved so much, that, just like modern computers, your brain would develop greater in complexity rather than greater in size. For example, our brains did evolve to be slightly larger, but not too large, because a rather large brain is rather sensitive. For example, if your brain is thirty cubic kilometers big, then I, and several thousand other people, could bitchslap your brain numerous times before you'd notice. And even if you claim to have "TEH MAG1K P0W3RZ!!" that would allow you to quickly and easily retaliate, it is improbable, because such magic powers would discourage evolution to a brain of that size, and a brain of that size would discourage evolution of magic powers, until the size of your brain shrunk!

In short: You're a stupid liar.

2] Because I'm a pimp.No, you're an arrogant geek who talks like a fanboy of realultimatepower.net.

Is it just me or do some people just not get jokes around here? This thread is supposed to be comical, and it has nothing to do with arrogance or what we may think in real life. Get a clue, man.

Is it just me or do some people just not get jokes around here? This thread is supposed to be comical, and it has nothing to do with arrogance or what we may think in real life. Get a clue, man.
http://www.neowin.net/forum/fun/not_funny.jpg

It actually took me a while to figure this out, including the mass murder of two million Cambodians [after taking the body of that damn Buddhist Pol Pot], and over six hundred thousand in Rwanda, which have absolutely nothing to do with JFK - regardless, after killing most of those third world nation's populations I came with the conclusion that the man who killed JFK was Oswald.

Now, who pushed Oswald to do it..that's a totally different question.
Nope, you're wrong. You see, the crew of the Red Dwarf (Dave Lister, Arnold J Rimmer, Kryten, and The Cat) went back in time, and accidently caused Oswold to only wound JFK. As he survived, the entire future was changed, as his affair with the Mafia daughter came to public light. He was arrested, and sentenced to three years following his impeachment. The Mafia effectively gained control over the US, and allowed the Soviet Union to place IRBM's in Cuba, in exchange for increased drug trafficking. Now, this caused thousands to leave the cities, and the Soviets landed on the moon first, causing all of history to be changed. So, to avoid this, they took the JFK from this alternate timeline, and made him the second gunman on the grassy knoll, so that when Oswold failed to hit his target, this alternate JFK shot the original, thus erasing the alternate timeline and also himself in the process, and restoring the universe to normal!

Nope, you're wrong. You see, the crew of the Red Dwarf (Dave Lister, Arnold J Rimmer, Kryten, and The Cat) went back in time, and accidently caused Oswold to only wound JFK. As he survived, the entire future was changed, as his affair with the Mafia daughter came to public light. He was arrested, and sentenced to three years following his impeachment. The Mafia effectively gained control over the US, and allowed the Soviet Union to place IRBM's in Cuba, in exchange for increased drug trafficking. Now, this caused thousands to leave the cities, and the Soviets landed on the moon first, causing all of history to be changed. So, to avoid this, they took the JFK from this alternate timeline, and made him the second gunman on the grassy knoll, so that when Oswold failed to hit his target, this alternate JFK shot the original, thus erasing the alternate timeline and also himself in the process, and restoring the universe to normal!



Argghhh *pulls hair out*... that theory is deeply critisized, but it is obvious that you also have the mad sweet hook ups and shyt, like I do, so we can smooth out the wrinkles here.

The problem I have with that theory is that it doesn't tell how mad evil rappers from the planet of Forskaya came over and gave the Soviets the spacecraft, so that would help in the way that it pushes many to believe that the theory was a Soviet fabrication turned into what was thought as reality.

Nope, you're wrong. You see, the crew of the Red Dwarf (Dave Lister, Arnold J Rimmer, Kryten, and The Cat) went back in time, and accidently caused Oswold to only wound JFK. As he survived, the entire future was changed, as his affair with the Mafia daughter came to public light. He was arrested, and sentenced to three years following his impeachment. The Mafia effectively gained control over the US, and allowed the Soviet Union to place IRBM's in Cuba, in exchange for increased drug trafficking. Now, this caused thousands to leave the cities, and the Soviets landed on the moon first, causing all of history to be changed. So, to avoid this, they took the JFK from this alternate timeline, and made him the second gunman on the grassy knoll, so that when Oswold failed to hit his target, this alternate JFK shot the original, thus erasing the alternate timeline and also himself in the process, and restoring the universe to normal!

i always new something fishy was going on...

Is it just me or do some people just not get jokes around here? This thread is supposed to be comical, and it has nothing to do with arrogance or what we may think in real life. Get a clue, man.
Calm down. It was just too tempting to pwn "the smartest person in the world." :cool:

Argghhh *pulls hair out*... that theory is deeply critisized, but it is obvious that you also have the mad sweet hook ups and shyt, like I do, so we can smooth out the wrinkles here.

The problem I have with that theory is that it doesn't tell how mad evil rappers from the planet of Forskaya came over and gave the Soviets the spacecraft, so that would help in the way that it pushes many to believe that the theory was a Soviet fabrication turned into what was thought as reality.
1) NEVER, and I mean NEVER use anything approaching leet speak in my prescense. Acceptable terms are lol, and anything based around this. However, spelling shyt just doesn't make sense. Just type sh*t. Everyone knows what you mean, but you aren't swearing, so the mods have no actual thing to do you on.

Calm down. It was just too tempting to pwn "the smartest person in the world." :cool:


In that case, this proves I'm the Smartest Man in the World:

http://ww1.prweb.com/prfiles/2004/12/22/191408/DavidHasselhoff_2.jpg

and

http://www.stevecolgan.com/Pirates/Captain%20Cool.jpg

1) NEVER, and I mean NEVER use anything approaching leet speak in my prescense. Acceptable terms are lol, and anything based around this. However, spelling shyt just doesn't make sense. Just type sh*t. Everyone knows what you mean, but you aren't swearing, so the mods have no actual thing to do you on.


No, normally on NS I spell shyt shit, regardless of what anybody else thinks..I also very commonly use the words 'fuck', 'bitch' and the such. I just saw shyt in an AIM conversation and decided to use it.


EDIT: Don't worry I've been here two years....I know NS better than most others.