NationStates Jolt Archive

In reply to 21 things that piss me off about America (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=445263) I offer the following:

1. Dear God someone needs to teach you people how to make iced tea. A cup of Earl Gray with a single ice cube is NOT iced tea.

2. American TV.

3. American TV.

4. American TV. Most of your programming seems to be re-runs of American TV shows. What happened to Monty Python, Dr. Who, On the Buses, Steptoe and Son, Fawlty Towers, Marty Feldman's Laugh Machine, etc. At least there is BBC world news and Match of the Week (Go Chelsea!!)

5. The cult of the tourist - it's creepy, everywhere you go there are shops full of touristy crap pandering to grab American dollars and desparate to commercialize every aspect of an incredibly long, rich and varied history. You have beautiful and grand, majestic Cathedrals built before America was even "discovered" and the shops try to pawn of crappy little snow globes with plastic replicas of the cathedral.

6. Chavs and football hooligans. Give me a break! I like a good football (soccer) game as well as anyone, but good grief, get a grip. You don't have to have a riot everytime your team loses to the team of another country.

7. And on the subject of 9/11, do you really not recognize the threat that radical islamofacism is to your way of life as well? Do you want to live in repressive theocracies? I don't think so, wake up and smell the camel dung. Help defeat it with actions. Words will not put an end to it. When have religious fanatics every been "talked" out of being fanatics?

8. I am not a european, If I were, I would be a little more grateful to the Americans that I'm not speaking German and/or Russian today or being required to support the extermination of jews or government dissenters.

9. Your cars. What the hell is a Peugeot or Citroën? Sure, you have your exotic Massarati's and Lamborginis, but who can really afford them. You average cars are little bitty shoe boxes with the look and "oomph" of a miniaturized chrysler "K" car from the early 1980's.

10. Your roads, oh, wait, that's why the cars so small and crappy, they have to drive on roads too narrow to let bicycles pass each other safely.

11. Labor Unions - why the hell do you give them so much power? When the tube goes on strike, London shuts down for all practical purposes.

12. Fried Chicken - dammit, don't fry it in the same oil you fry your fish in and for god's sake, don't use the same batter you dipped the fish in before you fry it. I want chicken flavored fried chicken, not fish flavored fried chicken.

13. Variety in the grocery store - have you ever considered having different brands of the same product - some times I want Jif and some times I want Peter Pan, but all you have is "peanut butter."

14. Ice/refrigeration - surely you have refrigerators and the ability to make ice, why is this ability not used? Room temprature coca-cola sucks (See also #1 above re: Iced Tea).

15. The anti-war, anti-Bush, anti-Blair protestors sucked. Badly.

16. 'Petrol' is ok, 'Pub' is decent enough, but 'Haggis' and 'Bubble & Squeak?' what the hell?

17. Your gas (sorry, petrol) costs too much.

18. Your daily newspapers - they seem to me to be much more like the National Enquirer than the New York Times, and what's with the page 3 girl in the Sun, how can you possibly expect me to take the paper as seriously reporting the news when you promote it with naked hotties on page 3.

19. French arrogance - only in France would someone tell me, in perfect english, when I asked for some directions that they could not help me unless I spoke french. Bugger that.

20. "Mind the Gap" - Do you really need to tell me to be careful when I get on the tube and why "mind the gap" why not "watch your step" or "Don't step in between the train and the platform?"

21. You're all too condescending and "stiff." Seriously, it gets annoying, lighten up!

There are some good things though:
- Guinness and most german beers;
- Cadburys and Polo mints;
- Scotch and french wines;
- the Page 3 girls;
- Chelsea, Arsenal and Leeds football teams

Anyway, I'm not trying to bait/offend people. These are just some of the things that bugged me while I was there, and that you will have to rectify before truly being the 'land of the enlightened'.

Ok, let the flame wars begin :)

8. I am not a european, If I were, I would be a little more grateful to the Americans that I'm not speaking German and/or Russian today or being required to support the extermination of jews or government dissenters.

In case it escaped your notice most of the Germans, some of the Swiss and some of the Belgians (amongst others) are still speaking German, while the parts of Russia in Europe are still full of Russian speakers...

In case it escaped your notice most of the Germans, some of the Swiss and some of the Belgians (amongst others) are still speaking German, while the parts of Russia in Europe are still full of Russian speakers...

It's by choice and/or where that language was already native - this is a specious claim since you knew what I meant - they aren't forced to due to Nazi or Soviet conquest.

Yeah! And ... and ... French food sucks! Yeah! :D

It's by choice and/or where that language was already native - this is a specious claim since you knew what I meant - they aren't forced to due to Nazi or Soviet conquest.

I knew what you meant, but the way you expressed it was lacking. It carried the implication that there was something inherently bad about speaking either German or Russian.

I knew what you meant, but the way you expressed it was lacking. It carried the implication that there was something inherently bad about speaking either German or Russian.

Oh, ok, no, I didn't mean to imply that.

Haggis is Scottish. Just thought I'd point that out.

I know, but Scotland is part of Europe.

Didn't I see a thread like this one about 4 pages back with a big Euroslavia-lock on it? I mean, I don't know what original thread you're responding to, because I didn't see it, but dude, this is trolling in the extreme.

In terms of clever satire... no, you are not even close.

In terms of clever satire... no, you are not even close.
Thanks for saying what I was going to.

Didn't I see a thread like this one about 4 pages back with a big Euroslavia-lock on it? I mean, I don't know what original thread you're responding to, because I didn't see it, but dude, this is trolling in the extreme.

And the original "21 things about America that pisses me off" wasn't?

And the original "21 things about America that pisses me off" wasn't?
At least it wasn't retarded.

And the original "21 things about America that pisses me off" wasn't?
Dude--I don't know. I didn't see it, I didn't post in it, I don't effing know.

And honestly, I don't care. The first rule of trolling around here is that just because someone else does it doesn't give you the right to respond in kind.

In reply to 21 things that piss me off about America (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=445263) I offer the following:

1. Dear God someone needs to teach you people how to make iced tea. A cup of Earl Gray with a single ice cube is NOT iced tea. Tea, cffee, they all stink.

2. American TV.

3. American TV.

4. American TV. Most of your programming seems to be re-runs of American TV shows. What happened to Monty Python, Dr. Who, On the Buses, Steptoe and Son, Fawlty Towers, Marty Feldman's Laugh Machine, etc. At least there is BBC world news and Match of the Week (Go Chelsea!!) Match of the Day thank you very much. And Chelsea are irritating proof of why money nd football don't mix. The new Doctor Who though is genius. I'd appreciate it if Friends ceased to exist though thanks.

5. The cult of the tourist - it's creepy, everywhere you go there are shops full of touristy crap pandering to grab American dollars and desparate to commercialize every aspect of an incredibly long, rich and varied history. You have beautiful and grand, majestic Cathedrals built before America was even "discovered" and the shops try to pawn of crappy little snow globes with plastic replicas of the cathedral. We hide mind-control devices in them. Only semi-effective so far though...

6. Chavs and football hooligans. Give me a break! I like a good football (soccer) game as well as anyone, but good grief, get a grip. You don't have to have a riot everytime your team loses to the team of another country. Oh come on, it's traditional, Saxons were a bunch of pirates and old habits die hard.

7. And on the subject of 9/11, do you really not recognize the threat that radical islamofacism is to your way of life as well? Do you want to live in repressive theocracies? I don't think so, wake up and smell the camel dung. Help defeat it with actions. Words will not put an end to it. When have religious fanatics every been "talked" out of being fanatics? Do you know how mindnumbing our politicians are? Living proof that you can indeed talk anyone out of anything by boring them into suicide.

8. I am not a european, If I were, I would be a little more grateful to the Americans that I'm not speaking German and/or Russian today or being required to support the extermination of jews or government dissenters. We'd be happier if you didn't try 'appropriating' our history whilst demanding our eternal gratitude (you know Canada did more than the US economically too).

9. Your cars. What the hell is a Peugeot or Citroën? Sure, you have your exotic Massarati's and Lamborginis, but who can really afford them. You average cars are little bitty shoe boxes with the look and "oomph" of a miniaturized chrysler "K" car from the early 1980's. Quite frankly, we like our fuel-efficiency. Substance over style.

10. Your roads, oh, wait, that's why the cars so small and crappy, they have to drive on roads too narrow to let bicycles pass each other safely. They make good challenge courses for boy-racers.

11. Labor Unions - why the hell do you give them so much power? When the tube goes on strike, London shuts down for all practical purposes. You think it's bad now? Go back to the 70's, Winter of Discontent was cold

12. Fried Chicken - dammit, don't fry it in the same oil you fry your fish in and for god's sake, don't use the same batter you dipped the fish in before you fry it. I want chicken flavored fried chicken, not fish flavored fried chicken. Fish and Chips are the national dish in the UK. Like it or lump it. On this I will not budge.

13. Variety in the grocery store - have you ever considered having different brands of the same product - some times I want Jif and some times I want Peter Pan, but all you have is "peanut butter." We tend to have several brands, you just need to look a little closer.

14. Ice/refrigeration - surely you have refrigerators and the ability to make ice, why is this ability not used? Room temprature coca-cola sucks (See also #1 above re: Iced Tea). God only knows, I tend to find ice is used to bulk up drinks most places.

15. The anti-war, anti-Bush, anti-Blair protestors sucked. Badly. Just cos we had more than you...

16. 'Petrol' is ok, 'Pub' is decent enough, but 'Haggis' and 'Bubble & Squeak?' what the hell? Haggis is a food. There is no other name for it. And if you tried renaming Bubble and Squeek you'd never find an adequate descriptive :D

17. Your gas (sorry, petrol) costs too much. But since we have fuel-efficient cars... Swings and roundabouts.

18. Your daily newspapers - they seem to me to be much more like the National Enquirer than the New York Times, and what's with the page 3 girl in the Sun, how can you possibly expect me to take the paper as seriously reporting the news when you promote it with naked hotties on page 3. The Sun is not a newspaper. Go read the Times or the Independent.

19. French arrogance - only in France would someone tell me, in perfect english, when I asked for some directions that they could not help me unless I spoke french. Bugger that. That's hilarious! It is nice to make the effort though, you'd be amazed at the goodwill just a little effort gets you.

20. "Mind the Gap" - Do you really need to tell me to be careful when I get on the tube and why "mind the gap" why not "watch your step" or "Don't step in between the train and the platform?" Well if you stick your leg in the gap and there's no warning you can sue and 'mind the gap' is the ost efficient way of saying it.

21. You're all too condescending and "stiff." Seriously, it gets annoying, lighten up! Verily good sir I cannot.

There are some good things though:
- Guinness and most german beers; Guinness stinks, Wychwood Breweries produce far superior ales. German beers are great though.
- Cadburys and Polo mints; Hersheys stink, so much for market forces producing the best value item...
- Scotch and french wines;
- the Page 3 girls;
- Chelsea, Arsenal and Leeds football teams One team financed by a shady Russian, one full of French and one full of thugs. You are an incrediblly conflicted person

Anyway, I'm not trying to bait/offend people. These are just some of the things that bugged me while I was there, and that you will have to rectify before truly being the 'land of the enlightened'.

Ok, let the flame wars begin :)

Suitable, semi-serious replies in bold.

Suitable, semi-serious replies in bold.

And all very good ones (I actually lived in Britain during the 70's coal miners stikes and recall a winter of discontent, and it was cold! I've not seen the new Dr. Who, can't wait).

So, this means that you... shan't be coming back? He said, hopefully.

Heh, no, seriously, that list sucked almost as much as professional football. Not nearly as much as Leeds, of all teams, but generally speaking.

Y'don't give power to labour unions. And labour unions are... you know... the people you see around you.

American television does, by and large, stink, and there is too much of it, so I shan't dither over those points for too long.

Tea is not supposed to have ice in it, you mentalist.

If you go to tourist hotspots, you get touristy crap, and if not, you don't.

America joined WWII after Germany's plans to invade Britain had been defeated, and so you'll have to go to the continent to find communities that have any reason to feel saved by America, and more than that it was generations ago and people aren't countries! Dude! You're from that country that turned up a bit late and chipped-in during a war that this country was fighting against another country! Thanks! ...What? Shut up... I need a drink...

Speaking for myself, I can say that I just don't care a damn for Islamobloodyanything, much as I don't feel compelled to act against Rome's massive negative influence. And I haven't got around to seriously resisting any other of the world's many great evils, and don't see why I should be expected to fight a minority movement before addressing any of these bigger things.

Cars suck, who the hell wants a car? I don't have a car and I don't intend to get one, nor would I were I American. Of course I'd probably suffer more from the state of public transport in that case, but, ah, Jesus, what's the point of this? American cars are better than European ones? First, I don't care, and second, I don't think that's even close to true.

Roads... well, I know that plenty of people go from America to Germany for nothing more than the road, and I don't know of anyone who goes to America just to look at a freeway. Again, I don't much care, personally, being as I'm not a driver.

Fried chicken. Oh. Er, well, I prefer my chicken to be chicken and that's it. I buy it off the spit, and that's all. I dunno what to tell you. Fry your own damn chicken, maybe. Yeah, that's my official response. Lazy colonials.

Brands? We have brands. Brands are a pathetic shadow of freedom. They don't not got no brands in der USSR, Coke or Pepsi, that's what we're fighting for! Pfft. Fuck brands. Not that we don't have them, we do, and I don't understand this point.

We have ice. Want ice in your cola? Have ice. Better yet, drink a proper beverage! You only want it cold so you notice less how crap it actually tastes.

Yeah. Protestors suck, too. Same as brands. That's not freedom, it's a waste of fucking time ¡Stop Asking!

You actually encountered bubble and squeak? Never happens to me.

Petrol? No it doesn't. There you go.

Er. Tabloids? You know those are... tabloids, right? You have tabloids, don't you? Right, but you don't buy them. Well don't buy them when you come here, either! I have never bought a newspaper that wasn't the Times or the Independent, and I haven't bothered to do that in a long time, either. Why in the world would you buy the Sun? Presumably for page three? You clearly have access to the internet! I'm confused.

Yeah, French arrogance. I like that. You're all losers for not understanding the charm in that. Go away and don't come back until you're smarter!

Mind the gap? Well, you know, I didn't write that, but it's solid advice. Maybe some fat yank tourist unable to see past his belly slipped down and got stuck, then sued? "Warning! Coffee may be hot!" doesn't seem any more necessary, eh? Still, I do like your ideas for changing it to something even more patronising.

As to number 21... relative to whom? That's just daft. There's as many uptight wankers here as anywhere. I agree with the sentiment, though. Everybody needs a drink and less work.

...oh, wait, before I go: nothing happened to Dr.Who, except another regeneration or two! 'tis still going.

(you know Canada did more than the US economically too).
While I don't want to particularly take part in this debate, and view the irrational hate-Europe hate-US concept as silly, I do have to stand in and correct this complete and total falsehood.

What the fuck are you talking about?

The US produced 75% (actual figure) of the world's munitions during the war. of All the nations on Earth, allied, axis and neutral during the war years.

How about this little quotearooskey?

I want to tell you from the Russian point of view, what the President and the United States have done to win the war. The most important things in this war are machines. The United States has proven that it can turn out from 8,000 to 10,000 airplanes per month. Russia can only turn out, at most. 3,000 airplanes a month . . . . The United States, therefore, is a country of machines. Without the use of those machines, through Lend-Lease, we would lose this war.
I seriously doubt that Canada, with it's tiny population could have outproduced Russia, let alone the US.

OK, for you guys taking this way to seriously, this is a half-assed, tongue-in-cheek, only barely serious reply to a prior thread that is meant to point out the foolishness of that thread's original post. OK!? Lighten up. It is meant more as parody of the other thread than anything.

...oh, wait, before I go: nothing happened to Dr.Who, except another regeneration or two! 'tis still going.

We are, however, still patiently waiting for Blakey from On The Buses to regenerate.

We are light-hearted! I said, "dude" and, "sucks"! Ridiculous!

OK, for you guys taking this way to seriously, this is a half-assed, tongue-in-cheek, only barely serious reply to a prior thread that is meant to point out the foolishness of that thread's original post. OK!? Lighten up. It is meant more as parody of the other thread than anything.
Yes, but you don't parody well at all. I mean, I give you points for some of your list, but the rest degenerates into the standard American rant of "Europe sucks because it didn't follow us on Iraq, and they should be worshiping us because we saved then during WWII and the cold war".

I mean, if you're gonna parody, PARODY man!

Jesh, sometimes I wonder what happened to the American wit, we used to actually have it and it was great.

We are, however, still patiently waiting for Blakey from On The Buses to regenerate.

Don't give them ideas!

Jesh, sometimes I wonder what happened to the American wit, we used to actually have it and it was great.

Are you sure that it wasn't always just the minority sport that it remains, today? I'm pretty sure that there's still a couple of witty Americans... maybe it's just that they're neither here nor in the popular media.



Yeah, I don't know why I bothered to type that, either. I'm just stalling before forcing myself to turn off the computer.

We all have our differences.
What I'm seeing here is some kind of stupid rivalry that will never be resolved on these forums. Christians against Atheists. Conservatives against Liberals. Europeans versus Americans. I hope you guys are actually getting somewhere.

snip--

The US produced 75% (actual figure) of the world's munitions during the war. of All the nations on Earth, allied, axis and neutral during the war years.


Yeah, but until we entered the war itself, we were selling munitions. So an argument could be made that the U.S. was merely lining it's pockets at the world's expense.

Also, you wouldn't happen to have a figure on how much of those munitions were sold to Germany do you? Because, if your numbers are right, I find it hard to believe that the allies used over 75% (the 75% the US made, plus whatever they made themselves) of the world's munitions all by themselves.

Unless, of course, you include the atom bombs, which were more potent that all the rest of the explosives used in WWII put together, if I remember right.

5. The cult of the tourist - it's creepy, everywhere you go there are shops full of touristy crap pandering to grab American dollars and desparate to commercialize every aspect of an incredibly long, rich and varied history. You have beautiful and grand, majestic Cathedrals built before America was even "discovered" and the shops try to pawn of crappy little snow globes with plastic replicas of the cathedral.

Umm have you ever been anywhere in the US? Every town has something to try to get tourists and the major ones commericalize everthing. I've been to an old mission in New Mexico and just down the street they were selling any touristy shit you could think of.

[/QUOTE]7. And on the subject of 9/11, do you really not recognize the threat that radical islamofacism is to your way of life as well? Do you want to live in repressive theocracies? I don't think so, wake up and smell the camel dung. Help defeat it with actions. Words will not put an end to it. When have religious fanatics every been "talked" out of being fanatics?[/QUOTE]

Okay, look at the history involving terrorist and you'll notice that violent action tends to only help the terrorists, in terms of recruiting. Look at Israel, has their actions against the terrorists really accomplished anything except more violence?

[/QUOTE]8. I am not a european, If I were, I would be a little more grateful to the Americans that I'm not speaking German and/or Russian today or being required to support the extermination of jews or government dissenters. [/QUOTE]

Okay, this pisses me off. I'm an American, born and raised, but I can't stand when Americans say that we saved the world in WWII. People really need to realize that Americans weren't the only ones fighting in WWII. Yes we played an important role, but Hitler was NOT defeated by the US. Most of the major battles took place on the Russian front. In fact the Battle of Bulge was a desperate attempt by Hitler to knock the weak allies out of the war so he could concentrate on the Soviets. The fact is that the war was won mostly by the Russians, who paid an extremely high price for that victory.

And if by not speaking Russian, you're saying that America defeated the Soviet Union in the Cold War, look at what was happening in the Soviet Union prior to it's collapse. There were alot of movements and issues within it, that were not associated with the US. America's role in the downfall of the Soviet Union was minor, at best. There was alot more going on then the cold war with the US. By saying the US defeated the Soviet Union, you are really demeaning the efforts of the people who actually brought about it's demise.

Umm have you ever been anywhere in the US? Every town has something to try to get tourists and the major ones commericalize everthing. I've been to an old mission in New Mexico and just down the street they were selling any touristy shit you could think of.

7. And on the subject of 9/11, do you really not recognize the threat that radical islamofacism is to your way of life as well? Do you want to live in repressive theocracies? I don't think so, wake up and smell the camel dung. Help defeat it with actions. Words will not put an end to it. When have religious fanatics every been "talked" out of being fanatics?

Okay, look at the history involving terrorist and you'll notice that violent action tends to only help the terrorists, in terms of recruiting. Look at Israel, has their actions against the terrorists really accomplished anything except more violence?

8. I am not a european, If I were, I would be a little more grateful to the Americans that I'm not speaking German and/or Russian today or being required to support the extermination of jews or government dissenters.

Okay, this pisses me off. I'm an American, born and raised, but I can't stand when Americans say that we saved the world in WWII. People really need to realize that Americans weren't the only ones fighting in WWII. Yes we played an important role, but Hitler was NOT defeated by the US. Most of the major battles took place on the Russian front. In fact the Battle of Bulge was a desperate attempt by Hitler to knock the weak allies out of the war so he could concentrate on the Soviets. The fact is that the war was won mostly by the Russians, who paid an extremely high price for that victory.

And if by not speaking Russian, you're saying that America defeated the Soviet Union in the Cold War, look at what was happening in the Soviet Union prior to it's collapse. There were alot of movements and issues within it, that were not associated with the US. America's role in the downfall of the Soviet Union was minor, at best. There was alot more going on then the cold war with the US. By saying the US defeated the Soviet Union, you are really demeaning the efforts of the people who actually brought about it's demise.

Do yourself a favor before you have a stroke, read Post #18 (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=9675485&postcount=18)

Thing I hated most about Europe was the disgusting cloud-of-death that sprung out of alll the restraunts when you opened the door. The cigarettes, ughhh... And coming from innocent California, and being an asthmatic didn't help.

Also, Europe's serving sizes are shit. I had to pay 2 Marks in Germany for a cup of water from a sink!
Where are the supersized, infinite refills guys?

OK, for you guys taking this way to seriously, this is a half-assed, tongue-in-cheek, only barely serious reply to a prior thread that is meant to point out the foolishness of that thread's original post. OK!? Lighten up. It is meant more as parody of the other thread than anything.That thread wasn't meant seriously either...

Thing I hated most about Europe was the disgusting cloud-of-death that sprung out of alll the restraunts when you opened the door. The cigarettes, ughhh... And coming from innocent California, and being an asthmatic didn't help.

Also, Europe's serving sizes are shit. I had to pay 2 Marks in Germany for a cup of water from a sink!
Where are the supersized, infinite refills guys?Don't complain about the drinks (it won't help), that's where German restaurants make their money. But go to a restaurant in Bavaria and you'll get nice portions of food for your money. ;)

I really think you should polish up your parodizing skills...perhaps you should stay sometime in Europe (and don´t mesh Enland with Europe, by the way), look, watch and learn..then come back

I was quite glad to see this thread at first, but whilst most of the points on the original were jokey, this one is mostly just another "America is superiour. Bow down before the master race, inferiour europeans!"

But yup, French arrogance is annoying - but to be fair American arrogance is equally bad. Probably why the two countries hate each other so much.

Thing I hated most about Europe was the disgusting cloud-of-death that sprung out of alll the restraunts when you opened the door. The cigarettes, ughhh... And coming from innocent California, and being an asthmatic didn't help...

In Sweden, a new law has banned all smoking in resteraunts and pubs. Yay!

@ the OP: If this is supposed to be a parody, it really sucks. Big time.

About our cars, roads and gas prices:
At least we try to protect the environment unlike you fat americans driving around in your big polluting cars on wide-lane nature choking roads!!!!

Apart from that I like the US.

Actually one thing that really really pisses me off about the "Europe" threads is that Americans seem to regard Europe as a single country - Dispite the vastly differing cultures and languages.

Another is WW2 (and sometimes WW1) - guys - if the UK (with help of other european countries) had not held out for so long with not much help then there is no way a D-Day landing could have taken place and it would have been almost impossible to get rid of Hitler once he controlled Europe. Do you really think Hitler would have stopped at only Europe? "ALLIES" = Team Effort - all chipped in their share.
Excactly!

In reply to 21 things that piss me off about America (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=445263) I offer the following:

1. Dear God someone needs to teach you people how to make iced tea. A cup of Earl Gray with a single ice cube is NOT iced tea.

2. American TV.

3. American TV.

4. American TV. Most of your programming seems to be re-runs of American TV shows. What happened to Monty Python, Dr. Who, On the Buses, Steptoe and Son, Fawlty Towers, Marty Feldman's Laugh Machine, etc. At least there is BBC world news and Match of the Week (Go Chelsea!!)

5. The cult of the tourist - it's creepy, everywhere you go there are shops full of touristy crap pandering to grab American dollars and desparate to commercialize every aspect of an incredibly long, rich and varied history. You have beautiful and grand, majestic Cathedrals built before America was even "discovered" and the shops try to pawn of crappy little snow globes with plastic replicas of the cathedral.

6. Chavs and football hooligans. Give me a break! I like a good football (soccer) game as well as anyone, but good grief, get a grip. You don't have to have a riot everytime your team loses to the team of another country.

7. And on the subject of 9/11, do you really not recognize the threat that radical islamofacism is to your way of life as well? Do you want to live in repressive theocracies? I don't think so, wake up and smell the camel dung. Help defeat it with actions. Words will not put an end to it. When have religious fanatics every been "talked" out of being fanatics?

8. I am not a european, If I were, I would be a little more grateful to the Americans that I'm not speaking German and/or Russian today or being required to support the extermination of jews or government dissenters.

9. Your cars. What the hell is a Peugeot or Citroën? Sure, you have your exotic Massarati's and Lamborginis, but who can really afford them. You average cars are little bitty shoe boxes with the look and "oomph" of a miniaturized chrysler "K" car from the early 1980's.

10. Your roads, oh, wait, that's why the cars so small and crappy, they have to drive on roads too narrow to let bicycles pass each other safely.

11. Labor Unions - why the hell do you give them so much power? When the tube goes on strike, London shuts down for all practical purposes.

12. Fried Chicken - dammit, don't fry it in the same oil you fry your fish in and for god's sake, don't use the same batter you dipped the fish in before you fry it. I want chicken flavored fried chicken, not fish flavored fried chicken.

13. Variety in the grocery store - have you ever considered having different brands of the same product - some times I want Jif and some times I want Peter Pan, but all you have is "peanut butter."

14. Ice/refrigeration - surely you have refrigerators and the ability to make ice, why is this ability not used? Room temprature coca-cola sucks (See also #1 above re: Iced Tea).

15. The anti-war, anti-Bush, anti-Blair protestors sucked. Badly.

16. 'Petrol' is ok, 'Pub' is decent enough, but 'Haggis' and 'Bubble & Squeak?' what the hell?

17. Your gas (sorry, petrol) costs too much.

18. Your daily newspapers - they seem to me to be much more like the National Enquirer than the New York Times, and what's with the page 3 girl in the Sun, how can you possibly expect me to take the paper as seriously reporting the news when you promote it with naked hotties on page 3.

19. French arrogance - only in France would someone tell me, in perfect english, when I asked for some directions that they could not help me unless I spoke french. Bugger that.

20. "Mind the Gap" - Do you really need to tell me to be careful when I get on the tube and why "mind the gap" why not "watch your step" or "Don't step in between the train and the platform?"

21. You're all too condescending and "stiff." Seriously, it gets annoying, lighten up!

There are some good things though:
- Guinness and most german beers;
- Cadburys and Polo mints;
- Scotch and french wines;
- the Page 3 girls;
- Chelsea, Arsenal and Leeds football teams

Anyway, I'm not trying to bait/offend people. These are just some of the things that bugged me while I was there, and that you will have to rectify before truly being the 'land of the enlightened'.

Ok, let the flame wars begin :)


Well half of Monty Python died, and I'll let you diss Britain cos I live here, but what's wrong with the rest of Europe???

Not a single one of those unclever points applies to my country. So, meh.

Not a single one of those unclever points applies to my country. So, meh.
He wasn't talking about your country, but of Europe.
Because as we all know, 'European' is a wonderfully homogenous ethnic group ;)

He wasn't talking about your country, but of Europe.
Because as we all know, 'European' is a wonderfully homogenous ethnic group ;)

The same could be said about the US, if their thick monoculture were penetrated and the things it displaces explored.

1. Dear God someone needs to teach you people how to make iced tea. A cup of Earl Gray with a single ice cube is NOT iced tea.
I don't drink tea. But if tea were supposed to be cold, we wouldn't have invented the tea pot.

2. American TV.
I don't watch it, I prefer to watch the hundreds of channels full to the brim of home-grown stuff. But you know, American TV is cheap so we use it to fill the programming gaps.

3. American TV.
Couldn't think of 21 points either, eh?

4. American TV. Most of your programming seems to be re-runs of American TV shows. What happened to Monty Python, Dr. Who, On the Buses, Steptoe and Son, Fawlty Towers, Marty Feldman's Laugh Machine, etc. At least there is BBC world news and Match of the Week (Go Chelsea!!)
It's not Match of the Week. And most of those examples went out of production 300 years ago.

5. The cult of the tourist - it's creepy, everywhere you go there are shops full of touristy crap pandering to grab American dollars and desparate to commercialize every aspect of an incredibly long, rich and varied history. You have beautiful and grand, majestic Cathedrals built before America was even "discovered" and the shops try to pawn of crappy little snow globes with plastic replicas of the cathedral.
You're right, it is everywhere you go. Including in America. And hey, if people buy the crappy little snow globes... may as well sell them to Americans. We don't want them, after all. Too crappy for us :p.

6. Chavs and football hooligans. Give me a break! I like a good football (soccer) game as well as anyone, but good grief, get a grip. You don't have to have a riot everytime your team loses to the team of another country.
We don't. They do. Chavs and football hooligans are a minority, and a British minority at that. That isn't a 'Europe thing', they just spread out a lot. When we have a 'WORLD' championship in a given sport, you see, we actually leave our respective countries once in a while.

7. And on the subject of 9/11, do you really not recognize the threat that radical islamofacism is to your way of life as well? Do you want to live in repressive theocracies? I don't think so, wake up and smell the camel dung. Help defeat it with actions. Words will not put an end to it. When have religious fanatics every been "talked" out of being fanatics?
I think you need to wake up and smell the politician dung -- you already 'do' live in a repressive theocracy. Ruled by God's new sidekick, no less, if you believe some people. Besides, we thought we should do something other than bombing random Muslim countries in the hope that we'd get lucky and hit Osama on the head one day. Something like using our brains, and making our own countries more secure first without becoming terrorists ourselves.

8. I am not a european, If I were, I would be a little more grateful to the Americans that I'm not speaking German and/or Russian today or being required to support the extermination of jews or government dissenters.
I'm not an American. If I were, I would make a bit more of an effort to read up on the biggest war the world has ever seen, rather than spouting uneducated, jingoistic garbage with no basis in reality, designed solely to make me feel better. Americans wouldn't be as much fun if they knew about WW2, though, so I can forgive this.

9. Your cars. What the hell is a Peugeot or Citroën? Sure, you have your exotic Massarati's and Lamborginis, but who can really afford them. You average cars are little bitty shoe boxes with the look and "oomph" of a miniaturized chrysler "K" car from the early 1980's.
Unlike the miniaturised Chrysler 'K' car from the early 1980s, though, European cars typically use suspension technologies that aren't taken straight from the late 1800s, and they actually CAN turn a corner in under ten minutes without the rear wheels falling off. Add to that the fact that European engines don't need to have 19 litre engines just to get moving, due to the fact that we've actually improved upon the basic design of the first ever internal combustion engine. And then consider that we recognise that there is more to 'safety' than simply making the front end longer and putting some seatbelts in. Finally, their engines don't take the atmosphere, spit on it, swing it around and then throw it down the toilet. Man, they're crappy! I suppose you'd rather have one of those 5-ton, flamboyant, chrome-covered monstrosities? Stylish*!

*This was sarcasm, by the way.

If I were you I'd be thankful that the rest of the world uses cars like these. Otherwise we'd run out of fuel a lot sooner than we're going to.

10. Your roads, oh, wait, that's why the cars so small and crappy, they have to drive on roads too narrow to let bicycles pass each other safely.
It's called 'being able to drive'. Our driving tests, you see, incorporate more than just driving in a straight line -- we don't rely entirely on cruise control. Weird, huh? We can brake without our tyres screeching. We don't need to have a wide road, because we don't need room to swerve nervously from side-to-side. And our 'crappy' cars can actually take corners with more than a 1 degree bend. Unfortunately we didn't cater to the Americans when building our roads, we simply assumed in all our ignorance that everybody with a car could actually drive it. Sorry -- we'll try and build some straight roads with loads of room to swerve from side-to-side on from now on.

11. Labor Unions - why the hell do you give them so much power? When the tube goes on strike, London shuts down for all practical purposes.
Hey -- when workers want softer toilet paper in the company toilets, I think they have a right to bring the country to a standstill in order to get it. I'd rather workers (that's 'US', by the way -- you and me, unless you're a corporate baron and simply forgot to mention it) have too many powers than no powers at all. As much as I'd like the world to be ruled by corporations, I think we'll just leave that sort of thing to America for the time being. I like being paid enough to survive comfortably.

12. Fried Chicken - dammit, don't fry it in the same oil you fry your fish in and for god's sake, don't use the same batter you dipped the fish in before you fry it. I want chicken flavored fried chicken, not fish flavored fried chicken.
This is a pretty weak one... even considering what came before it. I have nothing to say on this matter. I don't even eat fried chicken. I don't think I ever have.

13. Variety in the grocery store - have you ever considered having different brands of the same product - some times I want Jif and some times I want Peter Pan, but all you have is "peanut butter."
Instead of going to a tiny corner shop you could try going to one of the many enormous supermarkets that have thousands of different brands of every food you could imagine. How 'quaint'.

14. Ice/refrigeration - surely you have refrigerators and the ability to make ice, why is this ability not used? Room temprature coca-cola sucks (See also #1 above re: Iced Tea).
What ARE you talking about? Every person in the civilised world has a fridge and a freezer. Who drinks room temperature Coca-Cola? I sure don't, nor know anybody who does. Actually, I don't drink cold Coca-Cola either -- as a result, I still have some teeth.

15. The anti-war, anti-Bush, anti-Blair protestors sucked. Badly.
Sucks that we have a democracy, don't it? Rights to protest and all that? I suppose you'd rather have shot at them with rubber bullets. Wait -- I think that you already did. Yeah, I can see how that's better.

16. 'Petrol' is ok, 'Pub' is decent enough, but 'Haggis' and 'Bubble & Squeak?' what the hell?
Have you actually heard of any country in Europe aside from Britain? Seems to be the only country you have referred to thus far, which is ironic considering its diminutive size and the fact that most British people don't actually consider themselves to be part of Europe. Hey, the English language comes from England, which is in Britain -- thus, they can make up whatever words they want. At least they can spell such words as 'colour' properly. When they make a misspelling, they just look in a dictionary rather than altering their entire language to make themselves look less daft.

17. Your gas (sorry, petrol) costs too much.
Your petrol costs too little. Perhaps you'd start building better, more efficient engines if you actually had to pay something for it. Then maybe we could all breathe again.

18. Your daily newspapers - they seem to me to be much more like the National Enquirer than the New York Times, and what's with the page 3 girl in the Sun, how can you possibly expect me to take the paper as seriously reporting the news when you promote it with naked hotties on page 3.
The Sun, as mentioned, isn't actually a newspaper. I'm not even sure where you got that notion -- who told you that? I give you full permission to use that precious gun of yours to blow their brains out. The fact that you seriously thought it was a real newspaper says a lot for the state of American media, anyway.

19. French arrogance - only in France would someone tell me, in perfect english, when I asked for some directions that they could not help me unless I spoke french. Bugger that.
Hurrah! Someone other than the British -- the French! I wondered when they would crop up. I was starting to wonder if you knew of any other European country. OK. If someone asks for directions in English while visiting France, they get a little bit of arrogance from the French. Which is understandable -- they are very proud of their language. If someone were to ask for directions in French while visiting the United States, aside from the fact that nobody would even understand them, they'd get mocked, laughed at, and probably physically abused. See the difference there?

20. "Mind the Gap" - Do you really need to tell me to be careful when I get on the tube and why "mind the gap" why not "watch your step" or "Don't step in between the train and the platform?"
Thanks to the American compensation culture that's drifted over the Atlantic like a plague ship, we *have* to pin these labels on things otherwise people can sue if they trip over without being warned that they could trip over. It's bizarre, but it's not our idea.

21. You're all too condescending and "stiff." Seriously, it gets annoying, lighten up!
Yeah. It'd be much better if we were xenophobic and shot at each other just for blinking in the wrong way.

This is just plain boring.

The same could be said about the US, if their thick monoculture were penetrated and the things it displaces explored.
Not quite. I do believe Europe is a little more diverse than America.
Strangely enough, I just had this conversation with 2 American girls I met, and they were convinced that there was 'at least as much, if not more' diversity in the States. I'm not denying that the US population is very heterogenous indeed, but there is no way anyone could compare the US to Europe in that aspect.

In reply to 21 things that piss me off about America (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=445263) I offer the following:


10. Your roads, oh, wait, that's why the cars so small and crappy, they have to drive on roads too narrow to let bicycles pass each other safely.

I don't hear much complaint on this issue. Could be that we have a better appreciation of the width of the vehicles we drive. I used to drive a 7 series BMW and can't say I had a problem, even on some of our narrowest roads. Tip - Try taking your driving test in the U.K. and see if it's as easy to pass.

Not quite. I do believe Europe is a little more diverse than America.
Strangely enough, I just had this conversation with 2 American girls I met, and they were convinced that there was 'at least as much, if not more' diversity in the States. I'm not denying that the US population is very heterogenous indeed, but there is no way anyone could compare the US to Europe in that aspect.

I'm not going into that debate, although I disagree with your assertion, I'm just pointing out that the same "you yanks are this and that, and your this and that is like so and so" can be equally misdirected as when it's directed towards Europe.

*seconding alinania*

i'm tired of all this "america's such a diverse nation - mosaic/melting pot blabla" talk. of course not everyone's everyone else'e clone. yes, there are different races and cultures and whatnot. but the same is true for european countries. in my neighborhood, i got turkish folks, a lot of asians, a couple polish and some africans. i bet if i asked we'd have over five different religious beliefs among us as well. and that is only one cuntry. now you've got to add up a whole bunch of such countries..so in that aspect i think that by now we're equal, the US and europe.
the only thing is that it is my impression that in the US there's a stronger glue (as in patriotism, religion, etc) holding folks together and making them "all americans" than in europe..
so yes i'd call americans a more homogenous group than europeans. way more, in fact.
IMHO

I'm not going into that debate, although I disagree with your assertion, I'm just pointing out that the same "you yanks are this and that, and your this and that is like so and so" can be equally misdirected as when it's directed towards Europe.
I agree :)
... with the second part. otherwise I'd be disagreeing with myself. which generally isn't a good thing to do. ;)

Not quite. I do believe Europe is a little more diverse than America.
Strangely enough, I just had this conversation with 2 American girls I met, and they were convinced that there was 'at least as much, if not more' diversity in the States. I'm not denying that the US population is very heterogenous indeed, but there is no way anyone could compare the US to Europe in that aspect.

Why not? My Sicilian grandmother grew up in Brooklyn during the 1920s. She lived next to Irish immigrants. Her neighbors across the street were Eastern European Jews. One of her children married a Puerto Rican. My father's high school friends were Irish, Russian, Polish, Italian and Russian. I live in an apartment complex in California. My neighbors upstairs are from Mexico. The family across the courtyard is from the Ukraine. Hell, I think I'm the only person within fifty feet of my apartment whose first language is English. My own 'ethnic' composition is ridiculous: English, Irish, Scottish, Dutch, Norwegian, French, German, Italian, Sicilian, and Swedish. Loose immigration policy in the US brought forth all the nationalities of Europe (and the world) and crammed that grag bag of diversity together. I'm not trying to brag. I'm just saying that it's not absurd to say that the US is as diverse as Europe. Why shouldn't it be? The US is made up all the cultures of the world, many of which thrive through music, art, dress, values and--yum--food.

Why not? My Sicilian grandmother grew up in Brooklyn during the 1920s. She lived next to Irish immigrants. Her neighbors across the street were Eastern European Jews. One of her children married a Puerto Rican. My father's high school friends were Irish, Russian, Polish, Italian and Russian. I live in an apartment complex in California. My neighbors upstairs are from Mexico. The family across the courtyard is from the Ukraine. Hell, I think I'm the only person within fifty feet of my apartment whose first language is English. My own 'ethnic' composition is ridiculous: English, Irish, Scottish, Dutch, Norwegian, French, German, Italian, Sicilian, and Swedish. Loose immigration policy in the US brought forth all the nationalities of Europe (and the world) and crammed that grag bag of diversity together. I'm not trying to brag. I'm just saying that it's not absurd to say that the US is as diverse as Europe. Why shouldn't it be? The US is made up all the cultures of the world, many of which thrive through music, art, dress, values and--yum--food.

Cultural diversity is a little more than people of different cultures living together in one culture.
In general understanding, it is different cultures living together still being different cultures, but getting alog nevertheless.
So, yes, Amercia is a lot more diverse when it comes to cultural origins, but its cultural diversity is somewhat less than that of Europe (Europe as a whole, not talking about single countries here). The reason for that is that the US always tried to be a melting pot, taking different cultures and integrating them into one mainstream culture, while Europe has very strong very different aboriginal cultures without any intention of mixing them together in any way. Coexistence is the way Europe is going, and that way it does preserve and protect different cultures a lot more and a lot more effectively than the US ever did.

right you are, CW

Why not? My Sicilian grandmother grew up in Brooklyn during the 1920s. She lived next to Irish immigrants. Her neighbors across the street were Eastern European Jews. One of her children married a Puerto Rican. My father's high school friends were Irish, Russian, Polish, Italian and Russian. I live in an apartment complex in California. My neighbors upstairs are from Mexico. The family across the courtyard is from the Ukraine. Hell, I think I'm the only person within fifty feet of my apartment whose first language is English. My own 'ethnic' composition is ridiculous: English, Irish, Scottish, Dutch, Norwegian, French, German, Italian, Sicilian, and Swedish. Loose immigration policy in the US brought forth all the nationalities of Europe (and the world) and crammed that grag bag of diversity together. I'm not trying to brag. I'm just saying that it's not absurd to say that the US is as diverse as Europe. Why shouldn't it be? The US is made up all the cultures of the world, many of which thrive through music, art, dress, values and--yum--food.
Pretty much along the lines of what CW said, you shouldn't forget that after all, the US is one country, with one government and one single language.

edit: ah, nevermind. what fourx said. :)

Pretty much along the lines of what CW said, you shouldn't forget that after all, the US is one country, with one government and one single language.
Not necessarily. While the US itself has no official languages, some states do, and those include English and Spanish in some cases.

Like thirty of you responded to me, so I'll try to answer you all in one post.

The US is a country made up of immigrants. Almost every person I know has a grandparent born outside the United States, usually from a non-English speaking country. Native-born Americans generally see themselves as 'American' no matter where they live within the country, but as long as thousands and thousands of immigrants from all corners of the globe flood into the US every year, the cultural diversity is going to rival that of Europe. I'm not even talking about regional differences. Texans and New Yorkers have slightly different cultures while acknowledging an overriding identity, that of being American, but I'm just talking about the level of immigration that goes on every year. On top of that, cultural heritages survive intensely. I'd also say that nationalities are becoming less important as one monolithic 'European' identity is beginning to emerge.

Europe is made up of a number of countries, many with their own languages, laws, legal systems, histories and culture - which can be vastly different between countries.

Yes. The United States is made up of a number of individuals, many with their own languages, histories and cultures.

There is absolutely no dispute about the diversity of Europe. But don't forget the shared history and legal codes of Europe. Many European countries operate under civil law, while the US and England share common law.

I think I'm being misunderstood. Europe's diverse. Duh. So is the US. Duh again. The US does try to assimilate various groups, in the same way that English is practically mandatory across Europe. Regardless, I'm just arguing that American cultural diversity rivals European diversity because the US is made up of the very cultures that comprise the different countries of Europe. The only difference is that the people are all crammed together and sometimes lose their national identities (after a few generations) in favor of an American one.

Sorry for the confusion all.

1. Dear God someone needs to teach you people how to make iced tea. A cup of Earl Gray with a single ice cube is NOT iced tea.
depends where you had it. lipton iced tea is pretty nice and is sold accross the continent as far as i can tell...

and earl gray rules. in fact, tea rules. you americans should drink more of it.
actually thats a bad idea - we'd have less or the price would go up or something. give it back! ;)


4. American TV. Most of your programming seems to be re-runs of American TV shows. What happened to Monty Python, Dr. Who, On the Buses, Steptoe and Son, Fawlty Towers, Marty Feldman's Laugh Machine, etc. At least there is BBC world news and Match of the Week (Go Chelsea!!)
yeah

5. The cult of the tourist - it's creepy, everywhere you go there are shops full of touristy crap pandering to grab American dollars and desparate to commercialize every aspect of an incredibly long, rich and varied history. You have beautiful and grand, majestic Cathedrals built before America was even "discovered" and the shops try to pawn of crappy little snow globes with plastic replicas of the cathedral.
yup, but meh, its just how things are. doesn't get in the way or spoil things too much imo (for the most part)

6. Chavs and football hooligans. Give me a break! I like a good football (soccer) game as well as anyone, but good grief, get a grip. You don't have to have a riot everytime your team loses to the team of another country.
agreed. now the same's happening to cricket. its sad

7. And on the subject of 9/11, do you really not recognize the threat that radical islamofacism is to your way of life as well? Do you want to live in repressive theocracies? I don't think so, wake up and smell the camel dung. Help defeat it with actions. Words will not put an end to it. When have religious fanatics every been "talked" out of being fanatics?
ideological differences - you're realists, we're idealists. we use the carrot, you use the stick.
so far you're the ones with the most terrorist casualites, FYI.

8. I am not a european, If I were, I would be a little more grateful to the Americans that I'm not speaking German and/or Russian today or being required to support the extermination of jews or government dissenters.
ooh that old arguement. we're grateful, ok.
just we're not grateful we're all speaking american instead.

9. Your cars. What the hell is a Peugeot or Citroën? Sure, you have your exotic Massarati's and Lamborginis, but who can really afford them. You average cars are little bitty shoe boxes with the look and "oomph" of a miniaturized chrysler "K" car from the early 1980's.
*cough cough fuel efficiency cough*
besides, do you really need an 18-wheeler SUV to take the kids home from school?? no.

10. Your roads, oh, wait, that's why the cars so small and crappy, they have to drive on roads too narrow to let bicycles pass each other safely.
uk roads tend to be wider (from my experience of the continent... especially belgium), but your american roads are too wide (and numerous) anyway

11. Labor Unions - why the hell do you give them so much power? When the tube goes on strike, London shuts down for all practical purposes.
blah blah economics not enough time to elaborate

12. Fried Chicken - dammit, don't fry it in the same oil you fry your fish in and for god's sake, don't use the same batter you dipped the fish in before you fry it. I want chicken flavored fried chicken, not fish flavored fried chicken.
its unhealthy anyway.
you should have just gone for some delicious british chips

13. Variety in the grocery store - have you ever considered having different brands of the same product - some times I want Jif and some times I want Peter Pan, but all you have is "peanut butter."
dunno where you've been buying peanut butter, but here in the UK most supermarkets have a number of varieties.

better than my experiences with cheese in america: a safeway in san francisco had three great varieties of cheese: "american" (orange), "swiss" (yellow) and the mystery 'white' cheese. i think real swiss people would be spinning in their cheesy graves at the travesty :P

14. Ice/refrigeration - surely you have refrigerators and the ability to make ice, why is this ability not used? Room temprature coca-cola sucks (See also #1 above re: Iced Tea).
agreed. american fridges rule (and i want one)

15. The anti-war, anti-Bush, anti-Blair protestors sucked. Badly.
meh. matter of personal opinion

16. 'Petrol' is ok, 'Pub' is decent enough, but 'Haggis' and 'Bubble & Squeak?' what the hell?
our words, not yours

17. Your gas (sorry, petrol) costs too much.
thats because we follow something called "environmental policy" whereby we tax petrol to try and encourage people to use public transport.
it'd be great if our public transport was actually, you know, good... but its the principle of the thing

18. Your daily newspapers - they seem to me to be much more like the National Enquirer than the New York Times, and what's with the page 3 girl in the Sun, how can you possibly expect me to take the paper as seriously reporting the news when you promote it with naked hotties on page 3.
The Sun is not a legitimate or serious newspaper, see. nobody (with a modicum of intelligence) takes it seriously

19. French arrogance - only in France would someone tell me, in perfect english, when I asked for some directions that they could not help me unless I spoke french. Bugger that.
bloody french :P
they used to be like that back in the 70's (or so i'm told) but i've been to france (and round the country) a fair few times since the 90's and i've never encountered any of that shit - they don't seem to do it anymore. you must have asked a really old-fahioned french person, or just a prude (they're everywhere)

20. "Mind the Gap" - Do you really need to tell me to be careful when I get on the tube and why "mind the gap" why not "watch your step" or "Don't step in between the train and the platform?"
i don't see anything wrong with it. there's a gap, watch you don't step in it - makes sense to me

21. You're all too condescending and "stiff." Seriously, it gets annoying, lighten up!
its all part of "being enlightened" ;)

Not necessarily. While the US itself has no official languages, some states do, and those include English and Spanish in some cases.
Yes. Point is, people speak English (of course there are always exceptions, but I allowed myself to use a generalization because if you're starting to state all the exceptions... i'll be in the German thread eating croissants and drinking coffeE ;) )

Originally Posted by Iosef Vissarionovich Stalin
I want to tell you from the Russian point of view, what the President and the United States have done to win the war. The most important things in this war are machines. The United States has proven that it can turn out from 8,000 to 10,000 airplanes per month. Russia can only turn out, at most. 3,000 airplanes a month . . . . The United States, therefore, is a country of machines. Without the use of those machines, through Lend-Lease, we would lose this war.
I can't say I remember saying that...and the Russians don't have the letter J.

and the Russians don't have the letter J.

They don't have the latin alphabet, either.

Yes. Point is, people speak English (of course there are always exceptions, but I allowed myself to use a generalization because if you're starting to state all the exceptions... i'll be in the German thread eating croissants and drinking coffeE ;) )Actually, I remember having the option of taking the theoretical part of the driver's license test in Turkish... But that's Germany... ;)
Anyway, shouldn't it be a "Kroizeng"? :D

I can't say I remember saying that...and the Russians don't have the letter J.And wasn't it Iosif and not Iosef?

Actually, I remember having the option of taking the theoretical part of the driver's license test in Turkish... But that's Germany... ;)
Anyway, shouldn't it be a "Kroizeng"? :D
Hehe! Me too! I'm used to getting everything in at least four languages (the national ones) and usually in English, too, but for the driver's license we got to choose from over 10 languages, more than half being Eastern European ones.

And shouldn't it be a 'krwazungg'? :D

They don't have the latin alphabet, either.
What I meant was that when translating to the Latin alphabet, you should always use an I rather than a J.
@ Laerod, no, I'm fairly sure it's Iosef. At least, that's what I've always seen it written as.

Ice tea. Only a country like the US can come up with an idea like "Hey, wouldn't it be great to take stuff that's usually taken hot, freeze it and dump a load of ice on top of it? And so we can actually stomach it, let's add 5 tons of sugar per gallon." The moment you touch my beer and lump that ice cubes into it, you'll learn what pain means!

American TV. Yes, I agree in this point. I'm so fed up with canned laughter and sitcoms that are neither funny nor surprising. Why do all those jokes have to be akin to
"Bob, I'm afraid Jenny's pregnant."
"Why, Dave, do you think she is pregnant?"
"She's been throwing up all day, is cranky and has a weird appetite."
(They go into the kitchen where Bob's mom is accidently eating pickles with mustard, throws up and complains about it)
"MOM! You too?"
(add canned laughter)

Funny? Hardly. Surprising? None at all, this was to be expected. The pattern is always the same, they talk about something, then right afterwards, so the average dimwit with the attention span of a goldfish doesn't forget WHY it's funny, something suitable happens. Take ANY sitcom and watch closely, if you didn't notice it yet.

Tourism. You have Disney Land and Graceland and complain about our tourist traps? No comment.

I'd also not be too vocal about religious fascism and religious fundamentalism if people are seriously discussing and actually advocating quite vocally to push creationism onto the teaching plan. At least not if you don't want to hear the rest of the world snicker and shake its collective head.

About WW2, it turned up a bit like WW1: The US came when the war was won. Personally I'd say, it might have lasted a bit longer, but the outcome would've been the same. If anyone, I thank Russia for bashing our heads in. Sounds weird, but to a point I'm glad it turned out this way, think if the option...

Shoe box cars. True. SUVs aren't the big deal here. Simply 'cause, well, could you afford spending 2 bucks a mile? Yes, we drive smaller cars, and I'm quite GLAD about the high fuel prices here, since it means less pollution for me. The US go crazy with cigarette smoke, but appearantly nobody cares 'bout the fuel fumes and smog that covers most of their town. But don't you DARE to smoke!

Labor Unions. I prefer having Unions to omnipotent corporations. I have: 4 weeks of paid vacation, healthcare, retirement plan, unemployment insurance, and a good deal of this is paid for by my employer. Now you, dear members of corporate america, what have YOU got?

Variety: How much variety do you need? It's not like we only have ONE brand of peanut butter, but what I've seen in California borders on insanity. 200 kinds of bread, but no 'real' bread and they all taste the same. Hello? What's having 200 different brands good for if they are essentially the same?

Newspaper: Unfortunately true. The newspapers for dimwits have in most countries the most popularity. But at least our dimwits can still read, yours have Fox News.

French arrogance. True. Learn English, dammit, your language WAS important in the world. Nobody cares 'bout it anymore, learn English or get off my planet. :)

And shouldn't it be a 'krwazungg'? :DHave you never heard "Cousin" pronounced "Kozeng" in German? :confused:

Have you never heard "Cousin" pronounced "Kozeng" in German? :confused:
Oh yes. 'Koozeng'. Heard of that. Germans are weird. ... sometimes ;)

19. French arrogance - only in France would someone tell me, in perfect english, when I asked for some directions that they could not help me unless I spoke french. Bugger that.

So. Damn. True.

I was on a train heading to paris, and I was trying to figure out of I was on the correct train. I asked everyone around me if this was the train to Paris, yet they all just looked at me as if they couldn't understand what I was saying. So being frustrated, I sat down and lit a cigarette. Next thing I know the attentent lasy said to me in near-perfect english, " I'm zorry zir, but this iz a no zmoking trip". I nearly shot someone.

Mauiwowee you are so 1 minded, ok i'll except some of the things you said are true but the majority of it just shows that you cant except any other culture but your own, you've been bought up like all of us to belive sertain things, like sertain things, hate certain things and you obviously think thats how the rst of the world should be, wake up, every culture is diffrent and every1 is different.

o yea and our petrol is only so expensive because of america+china laping it all up...

Mauiwowee you are so 1 minded, ok i'll except some of the things you said are true but the majority of it just shows that you cant except any other culture but your own, you've been bought up like all of us to belive sertain things, like sertain things, hate certain things and you obviously think thats how the rst of the world should be, wake up, every culture is diffrent and every1 is different.

He did stipulate that he was joking. He just isn't very good at it :p.

o yea and our petrol is only so expensive because of america+china laping it all up...

No it's not. It's because our governments stick an 80% tax on it. If our government taxed petrol the same as the American government they'd be roughly the same price.

He did stipulate that he was joking. He just isn't very good at it :p.He was also assuming that Gruenberg wasn't with his thread, but this was not the case...

Pahahahahahaha at you silly Americans actually thinking your cars look better. Pahahaha, that's so hilarious. You guys are so cute when you try to insult.

Ahem. Was this thread posted after the "21 things.... America"? If so, it's lame, unoriginal and boring. If not, it's still lame, unoriginal and boring.

Ahem. Was this thread posted after the "21 things.... America"? If so, it's lame, unoriginal and boring. If not, it's still lame, unoriginal and boring.
No. No it was not. This is a complete coincidence.
:rolleyes:

No. No it was not. This is a complete coincidence.
:rolleyes:
Well actually, it could have been first. I had no idea. I apologise for my ignorance :)

Ahem. Was this thread posted after the "21 things.... America"? If so, it's lame, unoriginal and boring. If not, it's still lame, unoriginal and boring.
Let's see:
First post America thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=9672661&postcount=1):Yesterday, 8:20 PM (CET)
First post Europe thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=9675201&postcount=1):Today, 5:10 AM (CET)

Note also what was written in the first post of the Europe thread:In reply to 21 things that piss me off about America

I hope that answers your question. ;)

Excellent. There we go. My point is further reinforced.

In reply to 21 things that piss me off about America (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=445263) I offer the following:
I first post my reply and read the rest of the thread afterwards. That might make some of my answers redundant but it's much more fun this way.

1. Dear God someone needs to teach you people how to make iced tea. A cup of Earl Gray with a single ice cube is NOT iced tea.You silly, of course we don't make iced tea. We buy it!

2. American TV.

3. American TV.

4. American TV. Most of your programming seems to be re-runs of American TV shows. What happened to Monty Python, Dr. Who, On the Buses, Steptoe and Son, Fawlty Towers, Marty Feldman's Laugh Machine, etc. At least there is BBC world news and Match of the Week (Go Chelsea!!)
I wish I could reply something witty, but I can't. You are absolutely right with this.

5. The cult of the tourist - it's creepy, everywhere you go there are shops full of touristy crap pandering to grab American dollars and desparate to commercialize every aspect of an incredibly long, rich and varied history. You have beautiful and grand, majestic Cathedrals built before America was even "discovered" and the shops try to pawn of crappy little snow globes with plastic replicas of the cathedral. Well, we like money and you like snow globes with plastic replicas.

6. Chavs and football hooligans. Give me a break! I like a good football (soccer) game as well as anyone, but good grief, get a grip. You don't have to have a riot everytime your team loses to the team of another country.We Europeans like to come into contact with each other.

7. And on the subject of 9/11, do you really not recognize the threat that radical islamofacism is to your way of life as well? Do you want to live in repressive theocracies? I don't think so, wake up and smell the camel dung. Help defeat it with actions. Words will not put an end to it. When have religious fanatics every been "talked" out of being fanatics?We should talk about this somewhen.

8. I am not a european, If I were, I would be a little more grateful to the Americans that I'm not speaking German and/or Russian today or being required to support the extermination of jews or government dissenters.But I do speak German.

9. Your cars. What the hell is a Peugeot or Citroën? Sure, you have your exotic Massarati's and Lamborginis, but who can really afford them. You average cars are little bitty shoe boxes with the look and "oomph" of a miniaturized chrysler "K" car from the early 1980's.No, we got our Mercedes' and BMW's. And, after all, don't you know that size don't matters?

10. Your roads, oh, wait, that's why the cars so small and crappy, they have to drive on roads too narrow to let bicycles pass each other safely.But we like it small and cozy.

11. Labor Unions - why the hell do you give them so much power? When the tube goes on strike, London shuts down for all practical purposes.To get some days of.

12. Fried Chicken - dammit, don't fry it in the same oil you fry your fish in and for god's sake, don't use the same batter you dipped the fish in before you fry it. I want chicken flavored fried chicken, not fish flavored fried chicken.That's wrong. We don't fry chickens, we roast them.

13. Variety in the grocery store - have you ever considered having different brands of the same product - some times I want Jif and some times I want Peter Pan, but all you have is "peanut butter." That would just confuse us. Plus, nobody eats this stuff over here anyway.

14. Ice/refrigeration - surely you have refrigerators and the ability to make ice, why is this ability not used? Room temprature coca-cola sucks (See also #1 above re: Iced Tea).'Cause we payed perfectly good money for the coke. If we would have liked to drink water, we would have bought water for far less money.


16. 'Petrol' is ok, 'Pub' is decent enough, but 'Haggis' and 'Bubble & Squeak?' what the hell? No it's "Benzin", "Kneipe", "Würg" and "Ich hab' keine Ahnung wovon Du sprichst."

17. Your gas (sorry, petrol) costs too much.But it's Benzin and we pay for the extra letters.

18. Your daily newspapers - they seem to me to be much more like the National Enquirer than the New York Times, and what's with the page 3 girl in the Sun, how can you possibly expect me to take the paper as seriously reporting the news when you promote it with naked hotties on page 3.Aren't titts serious news? Maybe you should read the text belonging to the photo, it's most exiting.

19. French arrogance - only in France would someone tell me, in perfect english, when I asked for some directions that they could not help me unless I spoke french. Bugger that. French is a most beautifull language and beside that it's only polite to talk in the language of the country you're in. Would you like me to continue my replies in German? of course not. Wouldn't be overly nice of me to do so.

20. "Mind the Gap" - Do you really need to tell me to be careful when I get on the tube and why "mind the gap" why not "watch your step" or "Don't step in between the train and the platform?" "VORSICHT STUFE!"

21. You're all too condescending and "stiff." Seriously, it gets annoying, lighten up! Happy Germans? You can't propose that foor real!

There are some good things though:
- Guinness and most german beers;
- Cadburys and Polo mints;
- Scotch and french wines;
- the Page 3 girls;
- Chelsea, Arsenal and Leeds football teams

Anyway, I'm not trying to bait/offend people. These are just some of the things that bugged me while I was there, and that you will have to rectify before truly being the 'land of the enlightened'.

Ok, let the flame wars begin :)Why? I was delighted by this post. It's just some harmless fun. :)

17. Your gas (sorry, petrol) costs too much.

As if we enjoy it, you fucking dimwit. Your points just plainly blew arse. Nothing was real criticism, most of it was a matter of taste, and making fun of words that are in a different language is just sheer, american stupiditiy. Has it ever occured to you that the language you speak in the southern states is abysmal? Haggis is a real normal word in comparison.

Another piece of proof that America breeds idiots as well.

As if we enjoy it, you fucking dimwit. Your points just plainly blew arse. Nothing was real criticism, most of it was a matter of taste, and making fun of words that are in a different language is just sheer, american stupiditiy. Has it ever occured to you that the language you speak in the southern states is abysmal? Haggis is a real normal word in comparison.

Another piece of proof that America breeds idiots as well.
And I would like to quote myidealstate : Why? I was delighted by this post. It's just some harmless fun.

17. Your gas (sorry, petrol) costs too much.

I thought that was America's fault. Here in NZ our petrol prices are rising.
I believe some of it had to do with Hurricane Katrina. I don't think that can be blamed upon Europe.

In reply to 21 things that piss me off about America (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=445263) I offer the following:

1. Dear God someone needs to teach you people how to make iced tea. A cup of Earl Gray with a single ice cube is NOT iced tea.

2. American TV.

3. American TV.

4. American TV. Most of your programming seems to be re-runs of American TV shows. What happened to Monty Python, Dr. Who, On the Buses, Steptoe and Son, Fawlty Towers, Marty Feldman's Laugh Machine, etc. At least there is BBC world news and Match of the Week (Go Chelsea!!)

5. The cult of the tourist - it's creepy, everywhere you go there are shops full of touristy crap pandering to grab American dollars and desparate to commercialize every aspect of an incredibly long, rich and varied history. You have beautiful and grand, majestic Cathedrals built before America was even "discovered" and the shops try to pawn of crappy little snow globes with plastic replicas of the cathedral.

6. Chavs and football hooligans. Give me a break! I like a good football (soccer) game as well as anyone, but good grief, get a grip. You don't have to have a riot everytime your team loses to the team of another country.

7. And on the subject of 9/11, do you really not recognize the threat that radical islamofacism is to your way of life as well? Do you want to live in repressive theocracies? I don't think so, wake up and smell the camel dung. Help defeat it with actions. Words will not put an end to it. When have religious fanatics every been "talked" out of being fanatics?

8. I am not a european, If I were, I would be a little more grateful to the Americans that I'm not speaking German and/or Russian today or being required to support the extermination of jews or government dissenters.

9. Your cars. What the hell is a Peugeot or Citroën? Sure, you have your exotic Massarati's and Lamborginis, but who can really afford them. You average cars are little bitty shoe boxes with the look and "oomph" of a miniaturized chrysler "K" car from the early 1980's.

10. Your roads, oh, wait, that's why the cars so small and crappy, they have to drive on roads too narrow to let bicycles pass each other safely.

11. Labor Unions - why the hell do you give them so much power? When the tube goes on strike, London shuts down for all practical purposes.

12. Fried Chicken - dammit, don't fry it in the same oil you fry your fish in and for god's sake, don't use the same batter you dipped the fish in before you fry it. I want chicken flavored fried chicken, not fish flavored fried chicken.

13. Variety in the grocery store - have you ever considered having different brands of the same product - some times I want Jif and some times I want Peter Pan, but all you have is "peanut butter."

14. Ice/refrigeration - surely you have refrigerators and the ability to make ice, why is this ability not used? Room temprature coca-cola sucks (See also #1 above re: Iced Tea).

15. The anti-war, anti-Bush, anti-Blair protestors sucked. Badly.

16. 'Petrol' is ok, 'Pub' is decent enough, but 'Haggis' and 'Bubble & Squeak?' what the hell?

17. Your gas (sorry, petrol) costs too much.

18. Your daily newspapers - they seem to me to be much more like the National Enquirer than the New York Times, and what's with the page 3 girl in the Sun, how can you possibly expect me to take the paper as seriously reporting the news when you promote it with naked hotties on page 3.

19. French arrogance - only in France would someone tell me, in perfect english, when I asked for some directions that they could not help me unless I spoke french. Bugger that.

20. "Mind the Gap" - Do you really need to tell me to be careful when I get on the tube and why "mind the gap" why not "watch your step" or "Don't step in between the train and the platform?"

21. You're all too condescending and "stiff." Seriously, it gets annoying, lighten up!

There are some good things though:
- Guinness and most german beers;
- Cadburys and Polo mints;
- Scotch and french wines;
- the Page 3 girls;
- Chelsea, Arsenal and Leeds football teams

Anyway, I'm not trying to bait/offend people. These are just some of the things that bugged me while I was there, and that you will have to rectify before truly being the 'land of the enlightened'.

Ok, let the flame wars begin :)

I am from europe and I say go fuck your self, but i agree on number 19 dough

1. Dear God someone needs to teach you people how to make iced tea. A cup of Earl Gray with a single ice cube is NOT iced tea.
Actually, the only people I can think of that would do something like that (not that I think it's a bad thing) live in the states. Proper southern ice tea, as far as I've had the pleasure of drinking it.
8. I am not a european, If I were, I would be a little more grateful to the Americans that I'm not speaking German and/or Russian today or being required to support the extermination of jews or government dissenters. Well, the East Germans felt pretty let down by the Americans when the Russian tanks rolled over them on the 17th of June, 1953.
9. Your cars. What the hell is a Peugeot or Citroën? Sure, you have your exotic Massarati's and Lamborginis, but who can really afford them. You average cars are little bitty shoe boxes with the look and "oomph" of a miniaturized chrysler "K" car from the early 1980's.Damn environmentalists! How dare they put filters for particulate matter into their diesel powered cars as a standard procedure!
10. Your roads, oh, wait, that's why the cars so small and crappy, they have to drive on roads too narrow to let bicycles pass each other safely.Well I guess that's one thing the Germans at least have to be grateful for. After the Americans and British obliterated most of the larger cities, specifically targeting the historical parts that had such evile roads from the days before cars, we had enough space to rebuild the roads in a more car-friendly fashion. Some places that didn't get hit as bad still have horrible roads, though...
13. Variety in the grocery store - have you ever considered having different brands of the same product - some times I want Jif and some times I want Peter Pan, but all you have is "peanut butter."Just because we don't have different brands of peanut butter doesn't mean that we don't have different brands of other stuff. Peanut butter isn't as popular in Europe as it is in the states, hence there being no need to sell it disguised as something else.
15. The anti-war, anti-Bush, anti-Blair protestors sucked. Badly.I take it you liked the flowers on the steps of the US embassies and consulates after 9/11 though.
And don't occupy countries with the express plan to make sure they never go to war again, and whine about how they're too peaceful when they don't.
17. Your gas (sorry, petrol) costs too much.Have you gotten to that issue where meat gets a special cruelty tax? That's the principle behind European gas prices...
18. Your daily newspapers - they seem to me to be much more like the National Enquirer than the New York Times, and what's with the page 3 girl in the Sun, how can you possibly expect me to take the paper as seriously reporting the news when you promote it with naked hotties on page 3.Well, not all papers are like that, but then again, that's what our papers are like, and not our news channels.
21. You're all too condescending and "stiff." Seriously, it gets annoying, lighten up!Hey! We Germans were the only ones to lose TWO world wars and now we have to feed the East Germans through as well! It takes time to recover enough to lighten up.
Ok, let the flame wars begin :)
Hey, I'm kidding too. I know you're not doing it because you expressly believe that Europe is evil for only having one brand of peanut butter :p

Hey, I'm kidding too. I know you're not doing it because you expressly believe that Europe is evil for only having one brand of peanut butter :p

Thanks for being someone who understands and can go along with it and come up with some witty replies instead of bitching and moaning about idiot americans and bad parody and what not.

some of yoiu people need to lighten up a bit.

"Ich hab' keine Ahnung wovon Du sprichst."
Now, my German isn't very good, but I think that means 'I have no idea what you're talking about'...
Bubble and Squeak is basically all the leftovers you have in the fridge after a big meal. You mash it all together, cook it up and eat. Goes well with sausages.

Now, my German isn't very good, but I think that means 'I have no idea what you're talking about'...Exactly. Your German has to be much better than you think.

Bubble and Squeak is basically all the leftovers you have in the fridge after a big meal. You mash it all together, cook it up and eat. Goes well with sausages.
Thank you. :)

some of yoiu people need to lighten up a bit.
some of you americans need to go jump off a bridge

and while im bein my usal self and takin everytin seriously (sry im jus 1 of those ppl dat cnt take a joke) why do so many of you not get the consept of irony?

I have my own list. It's not very long.
1. The toliets. Why is there no water? I felt like a jerk when I had to call the hotel dude to 'fix' the toliet. Stupid waterless toliets...
2. The showers. They are weird. Nuff said.
3. The food. Where the hell is it? I nearly starved in Italy, of all places.
4. The cars, they just bother me. I need variation.
5. The men. There is no need to touch me. It's just gross.
Yeah, that's about it. I do love the drinking age though! :D

I have my own list. It's not very long.
1. The toliets. Why is there no water? I felt like a jerk when I had to call the hotel dude to 'fix' the toliet. Stupid waterless toliets...
2. The showers. They are weird. Nuff said.
3. The food. Where the hell is it? I nearly starved in Italy, of all places.
4. The cars, they just bother me. I need variation.
5. The men. There is no need to touch me. It's just gross.
Yeah, that's about it. I do love the drinking age though! :D

1. Umm... I have water in my toilet. :p

2. Umm... My shower is normal. :p

3. The people of Europe are generally not as obese as Americans. Nuff said. :p

4. There's nothing wrong with our cars! At least they aren't all gas guzzlers! :p

5. Yeah, well, that's Italians for you! You should have come to the UK! We don't do any of that touchy, feeley stuff over here! :p

Yeah, drinking age is good!
I laugh at you Americans about that! At 18, you're old enough to own a gun, join the army, etc., but you can't go and buy a pint of beer! :p

the Brits might not have the depth of telivion programming that the USA can boast (lol), but there are at least three shows worth watching:

1)the funny one with Dame Judie Dench

2)the funny one with the geezer who's always pissed off (think it's One Foot In The Grave)

3)Antiques Road Show (the original... set in the UK)


also... they've got EPL soccer (and probably soccer from other big leagues like Serie A and La Liga) programming

I have my own list. It's not very long.
1. The toliets. Why is there no water? I felt like a jerk when I had to call the hotel dude to 'fix' the toliet. Stupid waterless toliets...
5. The men. There is no need to touch me. It's just gross.
Yeah, that's about it. I do love the drinking age though

1. *reminds me of the episode when i encountered my first american toilet in a hotel and called the hotel man to fix my "clogged, overflowing toilet" at 11 p.m.*
5.this sterile-less. there's no need to yell all over the hallway i'd be a lesbian just cuz one gets ba littler closer while talking!
and there's no need to call at my parents' when all i wanted to do is look how a liquor shop looks from the inside.even if i'm not drinking age yet..

;)

the Brits might not have the depth of television programming that the USA can boast (lol), but there are at least three shows worth watching:

1)the funny one with Dame Judy Dench

2)the funny one with the geezer who's always pissed off (think it's One Foot In The Grave)

3)Antiques Road Show (the original... set in the UK)


also... they've got EPL soccer (and probably soccer from other big leagues like Serie A and La Liga) programming

is it true that americans idea of british comedy is benny hill?


there is alot more the over the pond people need to learn

:confused: <inserts toungue firmly in cheek>

In reply to 21 things that piss me off about America (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=445263) I offer the following:

1. Dear God someone needs to teach you people how to make iced tea. A cup of Earl Gray with a single ice cube is NOT iced tea.

Ah yes, but I hate to inform you that it's supposed to be hot. You've been living in a dream world... ;)

2. American TV.

3. American TV.

4. American TV. Most of your programming seems to be re-runs of American TV shows. What happened to Monty Python, Dr. Who, On the Buses, Steptoe and Son, Fawlty Towers, Marty Feldman's Laugh Machine, etc. At least there is BBC world news and Match of the Week (Go Chelsea!!)

It's possible to still see most of these repaeated at least once a week on UKTV digital channels (except Dr. Who which is surely now rivaling the simpsons in the number of new series?)

5. The cult of the tourist - it's creepy, everywhere you go there are shops full of touristy crap pandering to grab American dollars and desparate to commercialize every aspect of an incredibly long, rich and varied history. You have beautiful and grand, majestic Cathedrals built before America was even "discovered" and the shops try to pawn of crappy little snow globes with plastic replicas of the cathedral.

Simple economics really --- no buyers = no sellers

6. Chavs and football hooligans. Give me a break! I like a good football (soccer) game as well as anyone, but good grief, get a grip. You don't have to have a riot everytime your team loses to the team of another country.

Ah, the beautiful game

7. And on the subject of 9/11, do you really not recognize the threat that radical islamofacism is to your way of life as well? Do you want to live in repressive theocracies? I don't think so, wake up and smell the camel dung. Help defeat it with actions. Words will not put an end to it. When have religious fanatics every been "talked" out of being fanatics?

I'll let you know if I meet one ;)

9. Your cars. What the hell is a Peugeot or Citroën? Sure, you have your exotic Massarati's and Lamborginis, but who can really afford them. You average cars are little bitty shoe boxes with the look and "oomph" of a miniaturized chrysler "K" car from the early 1980's.

Yes, but my 1.7-litre shoe box would still tend to out perform your 4-litre brick-on-wheels (especially round the corners :p )

10. Your roads, oh, wait, that's why the cars so small and crappy, they have to drive on roads too narrow to let bicycles pass each other safely.

I'm sorry if [the M5 Motorway] wasn't wide enough for you - you see, english cars have steering wheels

Classic Comedy :D

13. Variety in the grocery store - have you ever considered having different brands of the same product - some times I want Jif and some times I want Peter Pan, but all you have is "peanut butter."

Get glasses

16. 'Petrol' is ok, 'Pub' is decent enough, but 'Haggis' and 'Bubble & Squeak?' what the hell?

Well, since we invented the english language, we can call it what we like <turns up nose>

17. Your gas (sorry, petrol) costs too much.

True, my petrol might cost 4 times as much as yours, but since I use 4 times less, I'd call it evens. ;)

18. Your daily newspapers - they seem to me to be much more like the National Enquirer than the New York Times, and what's with the page 3 girl in the Sun, how can you possibly expect me to take the paper as seriously reporting the news when you promote it with naked hotties on page 3.

But everyone knows you buy the Sun for the pictures, it doesn't even have enough words to report the news! :)

19. French arrogance - only in France would someone tell me, in perfect english, when I asked for some directions that they could not help me unless I spoke french. Bugger that.

But at least the french can be bothered to get off their asses and learn how to tell you they don't speak english! :)

21. You're all too condescending and "stiff." Seriously, it gets annoying, lighten up!

Don't you mean light up? I shall then <cough splutter>

Anyway, I'm not trying to bait/offend people. These are just some of the things that bugged me while I was there, and that you will have to rectify before truly being the 'land of the enlightened'.

click! (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=445507)

I know, but Scotland is part of Europe.

Haha, you're ignorant, Scotland is obviously part of the Continent of Scotland.

Yes, but my 1.7-litre shoe box would still tend to out perform your 4-litre brick-on-wheels (especially round the corners )


1.7 litre! My Citroen Xsara in Spain is a 1.6 litre HDi. But I hate driving when I go over the summer because it's about 1.3 Euros a litre!

French is a most beautifull language and beside that it's only polite to talk in the language of the country you're in. Would you like me to continue my replies in German? of course not. Wouldn't be overly nice of me to do so.
Feel free, I need to brush up on my german
16. 'Petrol' is ok, 'Pub' is decent enough, but 'Haggis' and 'Bubble & Squeak?' what the hell?
What do you call haggis and bubble&squeak over there then?
18. Your daily newspapers - they seem to me to be much more like the National Enquirer than the New York Times, and what's with the page 3 girl in the Sun, how can you possibly expect me to take the paper as seriously reporting the news when you promote it with naked hotties on page 3.
Everyone knows that the sun is aimed at people with the intelegance of the average 9 year old. (well thats the reading age it has)
5. The cult of the tourist - it's creepy, everywhere you go there are shops full of touristy crap pandering to grab American dollars and desparate to commercialize every aspect of an incredibly long, rich and varied history. You have beautiful and grand, majestic Cathedrals built before America was even "discovered" and the shops try to pawn of crappy little snow globes with plastic replicas of the cathedral.
easy don't go to touristy places, I avoid any shop with snow globes of that sort like the plage, easy.
14. Ice/refrigeration - surely you have refrigerators and the ability to make ice, why is this ability not used? Room temprature coca-cola sucks (See also #1 above re: Iced Tea).
my refrigerator actually has an ice machnine but if you don't have one you can get ice moulds which you fill with water and put in, they come in fun shapes too, dolphin ice cubes :D
12. Fried Chicken - dammit, don't fry it in the same oil you fry your fish in and for god's sake, don't use the same batter you dipped the fish in before you fry it. I want chicken flavored fried chicken, not fish flavored fried chicken.
13. Variety in the grocery store - have you ever considered having different brands of the same product - some times I want Jif and some times I want Peter Pan, but all you have is "peanut butter."
I dunno where you have been, I am sure I could get 3 different peanutbutter brands if i wanted.

What do you call haggis and bubble&squeak over there then?
We don't, and generally we are happier for it.

[QUOTE=Mauiwowee]In reply to [url=http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=445263]

8. I am not a european, If I were, I would be a little more grateful to the Americans that I'm not speaking German and/or Russian today or being required to support the extermination of jews or government dissenters.
[QUOTE]


history really isnt your strong point is it , hell finding out facts which arent propaganda isnt even your strong point either

French is a most beautifull language and beside that it's only polite to talk in the language of the country you're in. Would you like me to continue my replies in German? of course not. Wouldn't be overly nice of me to do soFeel free, I need to brush up on my german

That's really nice, but because this is a thread in English I can't expect everybody to understand German. It wouldn't be overly polite to do so despite of that.

1. Umm... I have water in my toilet. :p

2. Umm... My shower is normal. :p

3. The people of Europe are generally not as obese as Americans. Nuff said. :p

4. There's nothing wrong with our cars! At least they aren't all gas guzzlers! :p

5. Yeah, well, that's Italians for you! You should have come to the UK! We don't do any of that touchy, feeley stuff over here! :p

Yeah, drinking age is good!
I laugh at you Americans about that! At 18, you're old enough to own a gun, join the army, etc., but you can't go and buy a pint of beer! :p

1. They didn't have enough water in the toilets where I went. I didn't go to the bathroom for almost two days because I thought I was just having REALLY bad luck and every toilet I went to was broken. lol.

2. PROVE IT!!! :D

3. Haha, I'm far from obese, but I live off of beer, ice cream, and potatoes. I didn't get to eat that much in Italy. It was like jail...3 square meals a day ::shudders::

4. They look funny. But I guess if I actually paid for my own gas I'd care about that stuff.

5. I think I'll be studying in london in about a year. Hopefully the toilets aren't weird. Or I'll leave. And that'd be a damn shame.

Yeah, the drinking age does suck, but no one really follows it. My parents are the ones who buy me my beer, because they know if they don't, I'll just get it somewhere else. :D

thread starter, you looooooooooove it and hate to admit it :D :p

thread starter, you looooooooooove it and hate to admit it :D :p


Shhhhhhhhhh, don't tell. I'm having too much fun watching the far too serious people stroke out. ;)

In case it escaped your notice most of the Germans, some of the Swiss and some of the Belgians (amongst others) are still speaking German, while the parts of Russia in Europe are still full of Russian speakers...It's by choice and/or where that language was already native - this is a specious claim since you knew what I meant - they aren't forced to due to Nazi or Soviet conquest.
19. French arrogance - only in France would someone tell me, in perfect english, when I asked for some directions that they could not help me unless I spoke french. Bugger that. :confused:

I see this thread is a mirror image of "21 things that piss me off about america"
Anyway, here is A link to another X things that piss me off about some place thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=9681336#post9681336), that is not a mirror image of "21 things that piss me off about america.

1. Dear God someone needs to teach you people how to make iced tea. A cup of Earl Gray with a single ice cube is NOT iced tea.

I do not personally understand the concept of iced tea. What is the point of having cold tea, it is rather like having cold soup (which is foul most of the time).

2. American TV.

3. American TV.

4. American TV. Most of your programming seems to be re-runs of American TV shows. What happened to Monty Python, Dr. Who, On the Buses, Steptoe and Son, Fawlty Towers, Marty Feldman's Laugh Machine, etc. At least there is BBC world news and Match of the Week (Go Chelsea!!)

Which channels did you watch? The only one with lots of American shows on it is Channel 4. The BBC and ITV generally show home grown programmes. Also why are you referring specifically to Britain in a thread about Europe in general?

5. The cult of the tourist - it's creepy, everywhere you go there are shops full of touristy crap pandering to grab American dollars and desparate to commercialize every aspect of an incredibly long, rich and varied history. You have beautiful and grand, majestic Cathedrals built before America was even "discovered" and the shops try to pawn of crappy little snow globes with plastic replicas of the cathedral.

Three words: DISNEY WORLD FLORIDA.

6. Chavs and football hooligans. Give me a break! I like a good football (soccer) game as well as anyone, but good grief, get a grip. You don't have to have a riot everytime your team loses to the team of another country.

Believe it or not, most Europeans are not Chavs and do not riot at football games. Indeed, many Europeans do not even like football.

7. And on the subject of 9/11, do you really not recognize the threat that radical islamofacism is to your way of life as well? Do you want to live in repressive theocracies? I don't think so, wake up and smell the camel dung. Help defeat it with actions. Words will not put an end to it. When have religious fanatics every been "talked" out of being fanatics?

Of course, the US method of dealing with the situation (barging into a country with all guns blazing, reducing it to a lawless and valueless wasteland) is perfectly acceptable? I quite understand why France and Germany do not wish to send their sons to a futile and probably unnecessary American war

8. I am not a european, If I were, I would be a little more grateful to the Americans that I'm not speaking German and/or Russian today or being required to support the extermination of jews or government dissenters.

Oh we are grateful for the help given to us by the Americans in 1945. Of course, this does not mean we are grateful to modern day America, its current administration or its present people.

9. Your cars. What the hell is a Peugeot or Citroën? Sure, you have your exotic Massarati's and Lamborginis, but who can really afford them. You average cars are little bitty shoe boxes with the look and "oomph" of a miniaturized chrysler "K" car from the early 1980's.

At least our cars aren't great big petrol guzzlers that cause the carbon dioxide levels to go up by 1% every time you take it down to the shops (exagerration btw).

10. Your roads, oh, wait, that's why the cars so small and crappy, they have to drive on roads too narrow to let bicycles pass each other safely.

You are probably referring to country lanes, in which case you are an idiot, as most country lanes were not designed for large scale traffic movement.

12. Fried Chicken - dammit, don't fry it in the same oil you fry your fish in and for god's sake, don't use the same batter you dipped the fish in before you fry it. I want chicken flavored fried chicken, not fish flavored fried chicken.

Over here, battered chicken is considered to be fast food and not a luxury as it is in America. That is why we do not give a damn about how it is cooked.

13. Variety in the grocery store - have you ever considered having different brands of the same product - some times I want Jif and some times I want Peter Pan, but all you have is "peanut butter."

Eh? What shops have you been to?

14. Ice/refrigeration - surely you have refrigerators and the ability to make ice, why is this ability not used? Room temprature coca-cola sucks (See also #1 above re: Iced Tea).

Eh? What rubbish is this? Have you actually been to Europe or have you just been to your broom closet with a sign saying "Europe" in purple crayon glued on the door?

15. The anti-war, anti-Bush, anti-Blair protestors sucked. Badly.

Blair sucks. Badly.

16. 'Petrol' is ok, 'Pub' is decent enough, but 'Haggis' and 'Bubble & Squeak?' what the hell?

If you do not like foreign collaquialisms, then I advise you do not go abroad. Hell, its best all round if you do that because I don't particularly want your sort drifiting around Europe.

17. Your gas (sorry, petrol) costs too much.

All the better to act as an incentive to public transport.

18. Your daily newspapers - they seem to me to be much more like the National Enquirer than the New York Times, and what's with the page 3 girl in the Sun, how can you possibly expect me to take the paper as seriously reporting the news when you promote it with naked hotties on page 3.

No one takes the Sun seriously. Not even the editor. If you want a proper newspaper, next time buy the Times, the Telegraph, the Independent or the Guardian. They are the big ones without pictures of naked women in them (well, usually).

19. French arrogance - only in France would someone tell me, in perfect english, when I asked for some directions that they could not help me unless I spoke french. Bugger that.

Having read this post, I can't say I blame him.

20. "Mind the Gap" - Do you really need to tell me to be careful when I get on the tube and why "mind the gap" why not "watch your step" or "Don't step in between the train and the platform?"

What a useful criticism (sarcasm)

21. You're all too condescending and "stiff." Seriously, it gets annoying, lighten up!

If, by being condescending and stiff, we can annoy arrogant idiot Americans like you, then I say introduce 'Condescending and Stiff Studies' to the National Curriculum!

There are some good things though:
- Guinness and most german beers;
- Cadburys and Polo mints;
- Scotch and french wines;
- the Page 3 girls;
- Chelsea, Arsenal and Leeds football teams

The word 'moronic' sums up your case pretty well.

I
Over here, battered chicken is considered to be fast food and not a luxury as it is in America. That is why we do not give a damn about how it is cooked.




Fried chicken is a fast food here in America too- its certainly not considered a luxury.