NationStates Jolt Archive

what is your all time favorite quote or part of the movie, or character ?

"How do you know she's a witch?"
"Well, she turned me into a newt!"
"A newt?"
"...I got better."

"Now stand aside, worthy adversary."

"'Tis but a scratch."

"A scratch? Your arm's off!"

"No, it isn't."

"Well, what's that, then?"

"I've had worse."

"You liar!"

"Come on, you pansy!"

[thud]
[King Arthur music]
[thud thud thud]
[King Arthur music stops]
ARTHUR:
Old woman!
DENNIS:
Man!
ARTHUR:
Man. Sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there?
DENNIS:
I'm thirty-seven.
ARTHUR:
I-- what?
DENNIS:
I'm thirty-seven. I'm not old.
ARTHUR:
Well, I can't just call you 'Man'.
DENNIS:
Well, you could say 'Dennis'.
ARTHUR:
Well, I didn't know you were called 'Dennis'.
DENNIS:
Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you?
ARTHUR:
I did say 'sorry' about the 'old woman', but from the behind you looked--
DENNIS:
What I object to is that you automatically treat me like an inferior!
ARTHUR:
Well, I am King!
DENNIS:
Oh, King, eh, very nice. And how d'you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers! By 'anging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society. If there's ever going to be any progress with the--
WOMAN:
Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here. Oh! How d'you do?

ARTHUR:
How do you do, good lady? I am Arthur, King of the Britons. Who's castle is that?
WOMAN:
King of the who?
ARTHUR:
The Britons.
WOMAN:
Who are the Britons?
ARTHUR:
Well, we all are. We are all Britons, and I am your king.
WOMAN:
I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective.
DENNIS:
You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship: a self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes--
WOMAN:
Oh, there you go bringing class into it again.
DENNIS:
That's what it's all about. If only people would hear of--
ARTHUR:
Please! Please, good people. I am in haste. Who lives in that castle?
WOMAN:
No one lives there.
ARTHUR:
Then who is your lord?
WOMAN:
We don't have a lord.
ARTHUR:
What?
DENNIS:
I told you. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week,...
ARTHUR:
Yes.
DENNIS:
...but all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting...
ARTHUR:
Yes, I see.
DENNIS:
...by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs,...
ARTHUR:
Be quiet!
DENNIS:
...but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more major--
ARTHUR:
Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!
WOMAN:
Order, eh? Who does he think he is? Heh.
ARTHUR:
I am your king!
WOMAN:
Well, I didn't vote for you.
ARTHUR:
You don't vote for kings.
WOMAN:
Well, how did you become King, then?
ARTHUR:
The Lady of the Lake,...
[angels sing]
...her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur.
[singing stops]
That is why I am your king!
DENNIS:
Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
ARTHUR:
Be quiet!
DENNIS:
Well, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
ARTHUR:
Shut up!
DENNIS:
I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!
ARTHUR:
Shut up, will you? Shut up!

DENNIS:
Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.
ARTHUR:
Shut up!
DENNIS:
Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! I'm being repressed!
ARTHUR:
Bloody peasant!
DENNIS:
Oh, what a give-away. Did you hear that? Did you hear that, eh? That's what I'm on about. Did you see him repressing me? You saw it, didn't you?

"Who's that then?"

"I dunno, must be a king."

"Why?"

"He hasn't got shit all over him."

Run away!

Bringeth up thy holy hand grenade!

There are those who call me... Tim.

Dead Collector: Bring out yer dead! *hits gong* Bring out yer dead! *hits gong*

((In the background, a woman is beating a cat against the wall, only slightly noticeable due to the cat's yowling))

Man: 'ere you go!

DC: I can't take 'im, 'e's not dead yet.
Man: Yes 'e is.
Dying Man: I'm not dead!
DC: See? 'e says 'e's not dead. I can't take 'im.
Man: 'e'll be dead soon enough...
DM: I think I'll go for a walk...
Man: Oh shut up, will you?
DM: I feel happy, I feel happy...
Man: Look, 'e's about to die anyway. What do ya want me to do; wait until next week?
DM: I'm feeling better now...
DC:*hits DM with club*
DM: Thank you!

[Holding the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch]
King Arthur: How does it... um... how does it work?
Sir Lancelot: I know not, my liege.
King Arthur: Consult the Book of Armaments.
Brother Maynard: Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one.
Cleric: [reading] And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu...
Brother Maynard: Skip a bit, Brother...
Cleric: And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
Brother Maynard: Amen.
All: Amen.
King Arthur: Right. One... two... five.
Galahad: Three, sir.
King Arthur: Three.

How about the quote in my sig.

the crazy little frenchmen, and mosth of what they say ie.
" your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elder-barrys"

Arthur: "What happens now?"
Bedevere: "Well, now, Launcelot, Galahad, and I, wait until
nightfall, and then leap out of the rabbit, taking the French by
surprise -- not only by surprise, but totally unarmed!"
Arthur: "Who leaps out?"
Bedevere: "Uh, Launcelot, Galahad, and I. Uh, leap out of the
rabbit, uh..."
Arthur: "Oh..."


"Look...if we built this large wooden badger..."

Bravely bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot
He was not afraid to die, O brave Sir Robin
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin
He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp
Or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken
To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away
And all his limbs hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin
His head smashed in and his heart cut out
And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged
And his nostrils raped and his bottom burnt off and his penis...

"That's enough lads"

::: encounter with 3 headed giant :::

Brave Sir Robin ran away
Bravely, ran away...away...

"no"

When danger reared its ugly head
He bravely turned his tail and fled

"I didn't"

Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about
And gallantly he chickened out
Bravely talking to his feet
He beat a very brave retreat
Bravest of the brave, Sir Robin

::: insert other bits ::::

"And they ate Sir Robins minstrels and there was much rejoicing"

"Yaaaayyy"

French Soldier: You don't frighten us, English pig dogs. Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called "Arthur King," you and all your silly English K-nig-hts.

and


1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Who goes there?
King Arthur: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons, Sovereign of all England!
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Pull the other one!
King Arthur: I am, and this is my trusty servant Patsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court at Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master.
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: What? Ridden on a horse?
King Arthur: Yes!
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: You're using coconuts!
King Arthur: What?
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em together.
King Arthur: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercia, through...
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Where'd you get the coconuts?
King Arthur: We found them.
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical!
King Arthur: What do you mean?
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Well, this is a temperate zone
King Arthur: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
King Arthur: Not at all. They could be carried.
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: What? A swallow carrying a coconut?
King Arthur: It could grip it by the husk!
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.
King Arthur: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here?
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?
King Arthur: Please!
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Am I right?

"It's only a model"

King Arthur outside Camelot: "On second thought, lets not go there-its a silly place".

"Is it behind the rabbit?"

Geoffrey: It's a Mr Death or something... he's come about the
reaping... [To Reaper.] I don't think we need any at the
moment.


LOL!


And.....



Grim Reaper: Shut up! Shut up you American. You always talk, you
Americans, you talk and you talk and say 'Let me tell you
something' and 'I just wanna say this', Well you're dead now,
so shut up.

Katzenberg: Dead?

Grim Reaper: Dead.

Angela: All of us??

Grim Reaper: All of you.

Geoffrey: Now look here. You barge in here, quite uninvited, break
glasses and then announce quite casually that we're all dead.
Well I would remind you that you are a guest in this house
and...

[The Grim Reaper pokes him in the eye.]

Grim Reaper: Be quiet! You Englishmen... You're all so fucking
pompous and none of you have got any balls.



Python/Gilliam are my heros! as if....

Geoffrey: It's a Mr Death or something... he's come about the
reaping... [To Reaper.] I don't think we need any at the
moment.


LOL!


And.....



Grim Reaper: Shut up! Shut up you American. You always talk, you
Americans, you talk and you talk and say 'Let me tell you
something' and 'I just wanna say this', Well you're dead now,
so shut up.

Katzenberg: Dead?

Grim Reaper: Dead.

Angela: All of us??

Grim Reaper: All of you.

Geoffrey: Now look here. You barge in here, quite uninvited, break
glasses and then announce quite casually that we're all dead.
Well I would remind you that you are a guest in this house
and...

[The Grim Reaper pokes him in the eye.]

Grim Reaper: Be quiet! You Englishmen... You're all so fucking
pompous and none of you have got any balls.



Python/Gilliam are my heros! as if....

But thats "The Meaning Of Life". It is LOADED with great lines!

"But thats "The Meaning Of Life". "

We interrupt this MontyPython post to bring you another Monty Python themed post. Yes the poster didn't read the OP title and went off, stupid git.





Gilliam:"Hello, Goodevening and Welcome to the middle of the Film."



and....


THE END
OF THE FILM

Lady Presenter: [briskly] Well, that's the End of the Film, now
here's the Meaning of Life.

[An envelope is handed to her. She opens it in a
business-like way.]

Thank you Brigitte. [She reads.]... Well, it's nothing
special. Try and be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a
good book every now and then, get some walking in and try and
live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds
and nations. And finally, here are some completely gratuitous
pictures of penises to annoy the censors and to hopefully
spark some sort of controversy which it seems is the only way
these days to get the jaded video-sated public off their
fucking arses and back in the sodding cinema. Family
entertainment bollocks! What they want is filth, people doing
things to each other with chainsaws during tupperware parties,
babysitters being stabbed with knitting needles by gay
presidential candidates, vigilante groups strangling chickens,
armed bands of theatre critics exterminating mutant goats -
where's the fun in pictures? Oh well, there we are - here's
the theme music. Goodnight.



LOL! Love the Brits humor! You guys are great. Except the business men for overseas affairs, they are just balmy.

Rich

"Fwee Wodewick!"

the whole movie's great, but my favvie bit would have to be the credits. with teh llamas, etc.

"Fwee Wodewick!"
that's Life of Brian

I know it's Life of Brian, but nothing beats:

Brian: You were raped!
Mom: Well, at first, yes.

Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government.

Oh, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you.

"This parrot is dead!"

"No 'e's not. E's just sleepin'."

"He's bloody dead. Deceased, passed on. E's joined the bleedin' Choir Eternal. E's expired. E's shuffled off this mortal coil! E's bloody dead!"

:D

"This parrot is dead!"

"No 'e's not. E's just sleepin'."

"He's bloody dead. Deceased, passed on. E's joined the bleedin' Choir Eternal. E's expired. E's shuffled off this mortal coil! E's bloody dead!"

:D
that's not from the holy grail.....

Sir Bedevere: There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.

Peasant 1: Are there? Oh well, tell us.

Sir Bedevere: Tell me. What do you do with witches?

Peasant 1: Burn them.

Sir Bedevere: And what do you burn, apart from witches?

Peasant 1: More witches.

Peasant 2: Wood.

Sir Bedevere: Good. Now, why do witches burn?

Peasant 3: ...because they're made of... wood?

Sir Bedevere: Good. So how do you tell whether she is made of wood?

Peasant 1: Build a bridge out of her.

Sir Bedevere: But can you not also build bridges out of stone?

Peasant 1: Oh yeah.

Sir Bedevere: Does wood sink in water?

Peasant 1: No, no, it floats!... It floats! Throw her into the pond!

Sir Bedevere: No, no. What else floats in water?

Peasant 1: Bread.

Peasant 2: Apples.

Peasant 3: Very small rocks.

Peasant 1: Cider.

Peasant 2: Gravy.

Peasant 3: Cherries.

Peasant 1: Mud.

Peasant 2: Churches.

Peasant 3: Lead! Lead!

King Arthur: A Duck.

Sir Bedevere: ...Exactly. So, logically...

Peasant 1: If she weighed the same as a duck... she's made of wood.

Sir Bedevere: And therefore...

Peasant 2: ...A witch!

Got to be the questions the gatekeeper asks... :D

Definitely the "Constitutional Peasant".......they just don't get any funnier than that.

i suck at quotes so bear with me

Gatekeeper: What is your favorite colour?
Knight: Blue..... No, Red!
Gatekeeper: I'm sorry, but i must take your first answer
*Knight is flung away*

that's not from the holy grail.....
Oh. Well, I like it anyway! :p

I'm sure someone's mentioned the Spanish Inquisition skit by now. That's my favorite.

I'm sure someone's mentioned the Spanish Inquisition skit by now. That's my favorite.
Nope, so I guess it's true:

"No one expects the Spanish Inquisiton!" :D

i suck at quotes so bear with me

Gatekeeper: What is your favorite colour?
Knight: Blue..... No, Red!
Gatekeeper: I'm sorry, but i must take your first answer
*Knight is flung away*Hehe. I picked the same one. If you don't mind me correcting you:
Gatekeeper: WHAT is your name?
Galahad: It is Sir Galahad, the pure.
Gatekeeper: WHAT is your quest?
Galahad: To seek the holy grail!
Gatekeeper: WHAT is your favourite colour?
Galahad: Blue.. no Re-AAAAAaaaaagh! :D

I'm sure someone's mentioned the Spanish Inquisition skit by now. That's my favorite.It's awesome, but it isn't in the Holy Grail ;)

i suck at quotes so bear with me

Gatekeeper: What is your favorite colour?
Knight: Blue..... No, Red!
Gatekeeper: I'm sorry, but i must take your first answer
*Knight is flung away*
I don't recall it going like that.

First Woman: "We must all be thoroughly spanked!"

Second Woman: "Yes! And after that, the oral sex!" :D

I don't recall it going like that.

dude, i did say i suck at quotes, and as Laerod said...

Gatekeeper: WHAT is your name?
Galahad: It is Sir Galahad, the pure.
Gatekeeper: WHAT is your quest?
Galahad: To seek the holy grail!
Gatekeeper: WHAT is your favourite colour?
Galahad: Blue.. no Re-AAAAAaaaaagh

First Woman: "We must all be thoroughly spanked!"

Second Woman: "Yes! And after that, the oral sex!" :D
Choir of Virgins: "YES! Yes! The oral sex!"

Oh. Well, I like it anyway! :p
me too. esp the part about him being an "ex-parrot"


btw while we are talking about things that are not in the holy grail but are monty python.....
My absolute favorite of favorites is the last supper painting skit. I haven't been able to find a recording of it, only the text. It is hilarious (I used to have it on beta, but a tornado blew it away :( ) my hubby has never seen/heard of it and doesn't believe it exists (like I would make it up )

in case anyone else has no knowledge of it here is the text (although hearing and seeing it makes a huge difference) you can imagine how it would sound I guess. The Last Supper (http://www.mat.upm.es/~jcm/michelangelo.html)

Wow! 3 pages and not one mention of...
























































































NI!

-snip-

I second this!

King: Guards, make sure the prince doesn't leave this room until I come and get him.
Guard #1: Not to leave the room... even if you come and get him.
Gurad #2: [Hiccups]
King: No, no. Until I come and get him.
Guard #1: Until you come and get him, we're not to enter the room.
King: No, no, no. You stay in the room, and make sure he doesn't leave.
Guard #1: And you'll come and get him.
Guard #2: [Hiccups]
King: Right.
Guard #1: We don't need to do anything, apart from just stop him entering the room.
King: No, no. Leaving the room.
Guard #1: Leaving the room, yes.
King: All right?
Guard #2: [Hiccups]
Guard #1: Right. Oh, if, if, if, uh, if, if, uh, if, if, if, we... oh, if... oh...
King: Look, it's quite simple. You just stay here, and make sure he doesn't leave the room. All right?
Guard #2: [Hiccups]
Guard #1: Oh, I remember, uh, can he leave the room with us?
King: No, no, no, no, you just keep him in here, and make sure...
Guard #1: Oh yeah, we'll keep him in here, obviously, but if he had to leave, and we were with him...
King: No, just keep him in here...
Guard #1: Until you, or anyone else...
King: No, not anyone else. Just me.
Guard #1: Just you.
Guard #2: [Hiccups]
King: Get back.
Guard #1: Get back.
King: All right?
Guard #1: Right, we'll stay here until you get back.
King: And make sure he doesn't leave.
Guard #1: What?
King: Make sure he doesn't leave.
Guard #1: The prince?
King: Yes, make sure he doesn't leave.
Guard #1: Oh, yes, of course. [Points at Guard #2]
Guard #1: I thought you meant him. You know, it seemed a bit daft me I were to guard him when he's a guard.
King: Is that clear?
Guard #2: [Hiccups]
Guard #1: Oh, quite clear. No problems.
King: Right. [King turns to leave, both guards follow him]
King: Where are you going?
Guard #1: We're coming with you.
King: No, no, no. I want you to stay here and make sure he doesn't leave.
Guard #1: Oh, I see. Right.

AND

We are no longer the knights who say NI, we are the knights who say ecky, ecky, pozoinga

We're Knights of the Round Table.
We dance whene'er we're able.
We do routines and chorus scenes
With footwork impeccable.

We dine well here in Camelot.
We eat ham and jam and spam a lot.

We're Knights of the Round Table.
Our shows are formidable,
But many times we're given rhymes
That are quite unsingable.

We're opera mad in Camelot.
We sing from the diaphragm a lot.

In war we're tough and able,
Quite in-de-fat-ig-able.
Between our quests we sequin vests and impersonate Clark Gable.
It's a busy life in Camelot.

I have to push the pram a lot.

-------------"On second thought, lets not go to Camelot, it is a silly place."

ARTHUR: O Knights of Ni, we have brought you your shrubbery. May we go now?

HEAD KNIGHT: It is a good shrubbery. I like the laurels particularly. But there is one small problem.

ARTHUR: What is that?

HEAD KNIGHT: We are now... no longer the Knights Who Say 'Ni'.

KNIGHTS OF NI: Ni! Shh!

HEAD KNIGHT: Shh! We are now the Knights Who Say 'Ecky-ecky-ecky-ecky-pikang-zoop-boing-goodem-zoo-owli-zhiv'.

RANDOM: Ni!

HEAD KNIGHT: Therefore, we must give you a test.

ARTHUR: What is this test, O Knights of-- Knights Who 'Til Recently Said 'Ni'?

HEAD KNIGHT: Firstly, you must find... another shrubbery!

[dramatic chord]

ARTHUR: Not another shrubbery!

RANDOM: Ni!

HEAD KNIGHT: Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must place it here beside this shrubbery, only slightly higher so you get the two-level effect with a little path running down the middle.

KNIGHTS OF NI: A path! A path! A path! Ni! Shh! Ni! Ni! Ni! Shh! Shh!...

HEAD KNIGHT: Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest... with... a herring!

[dramatic chord]

ARTHUR: We shall do no such thing!

HEAD KNIGHT: Oh, please!

ARTHUR: Cut down a tree with a herring? It can't be done.

KNIGHTS OF NI: Aaaaugh! Aaaugh!

HEAD KNIGHT: Augh! Ohh! Don't say that word.

ARTHUR: What word?

HEAD KNIGHT: I cannot tell, suffice to say is one of the words the Knights of Ni cannot hear.

ARTHUR: How can we not say the word if you don't tell us what it is?

KNIGHTS OF NI: Aaaaugh!

HEAD KNIGHT: You said it again!

ARTHUR: What, 'is'?

KNIGHTS OF NI: Agh! No, not 'is'.

HEAD KNIGHT: No, not 'is'. You wouldn't get vary far in life not saying 'is'.

KNIGHTS OF NI: No, not 'is'. Not 'is'.

BEDEVERE: My liege, it's Sir Robin!

MINSTREL: [singing] Packing it in and packing it up,

And sneaking away and buggering up,

And chickening out and pissing off home,

Yes, bravely he is throwing in the sponge.

ARTHUR: Sir Robin!

ROBIN: My liege! It's good to see you.

HEAD KNIGHT: Now he's said the word!

ARTHUR: Surely you've not given up your quest for the Holy Grail?

MINSTREL: [singing] He is sneaking away and buggering up--

ROBIN: Shut up! No, no. No. Far from it.

HEAD KNIGHT: He said the word again!

KNIGHTS OF NI: Aaaaugh!

ROBIN: I was looking for it.

KNIGHTS OF NI: Aaaaugh!

ROBIN: Uh, here-- here in this forest.

ARTHUR: No, it is far from this place.

KNIGHTS OF NI: Aaaaugh!

HEAD KNIGHT: Aaaaugh! Stop saying the word! The word...

ARTHUR: Oh, stop it!

KNIGHTS OF NI: ...we cannot hear!

HEAD KNIGHT: Ow! He said it again!

ARTHUR: Patsy!

HEAD KNIGHT: Wait! I said it! I said it!

[clop clop clop]

Ooh! I said it again! And there again! That's three 'it's! Ohh!

KNIGHTS OF NI: Aaaaugh!

"...I got better..."

I love when the French castle-dwellers are talking amongst themselves and they see the trojan horse.
Castle Dweller 1 : "Un Cadeaux!"
CS 2 : "What?"
CS 1 : "A Present!"
CS 2 : "Ohh!"

Bits from my fevered memory (please fill in the blanks for me):

One day, lad, all this will be yours.
What, the curtains?
Not the curtains, lad...


But mother --
Father, lad.
But, father, I don't want any of that. I just want to... SING!
None of that!


The first castle sank into the swamp. The second one sank into the swamp. The third one burned, fell over, and then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up!

EDIT: And how could I forget:

Arthur, King of the Britons...What are you doing?
Averting my eyes, oh lord.
Well, stop it. Every time I try to talk to someone, it's always bowing and I'm not worthy. It's like those miserable psalms. They're so depressing. Now, where was I? Oh, yes. Arthur, King of the Britons...I am sending you on a quest. The Quest for the Holy Grail.
Good idea, lord!
Of course it's a good idea!!

Choir of Virgins: "YES! Yes! The oral sex!"
Hehehe! Dey might be virgins, but dey hip! :D

Watery tarts distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government!

Fetchez la vache.

Monsieur Arthur King who has the brain of a duck you know, you and your daffy English kaniggits. I fart in your general direction. You raspberry-smelling electric donkey bottom biters.

Etc., etc., etc...

I have come to ask your lord if he will join us in our quest for the Holy Grail.
Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'll be very keen. He's already got one, you see?
What?
He says they've already got one.
Are you sure?
Oh, yes, it's very nice. (I told them we already got one. <snicker, snicker>)

I'm remembering this kind of backwards.

me too. esp the part about him being an "ex-parrot"
"Well then. Would you like to come over to my place?"

"I thought you'd never ask!" :D

I liked Life of Brian better than the Holy Grail-

Yes! We are all individuals! Yes, we all all different!

I'm not!

Sshhh!

I don't recall it going like that.
It's not red, it's yellow

Bridgekeeper: Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Sir Lancelot: Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I am not afraid.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your name?
Sir Lancelot: My name is Sir Lancelot of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Sir Lancelot: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your favourite colour?
Sir Lancelot: Blue.
Bridgekeeper: Go on. Off you go.
Sir Lancelot: Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.
Sir Robin: That's easy.
Bridgekeeper: Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Sir Robin: Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I'm not afraid.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your name?
Sir Robin: Sir Robin of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Sir Robin: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is the capital of Assyria?
[pause]
Sir Robin: I don't know that.
[he is thrown over the edge into the volcano]
Sir Robin: Auuuuuuuugh.
Bridgekeeper: Stop. What... is your name?
Galahad: Sir Galahad of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Galahad: I seek the Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your favourite colour?
Galahad: Blue. No, yel...
[he is also thrown over the edge]
Galahad: auuuuuuuugh.
Bridgekeeper: Hee hee heh. Stop. What... is your name?
King Arthur: It is 'Arthur', King of the Britons.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
King Arthur: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
King Arthur: What do you mean? An African or European swallow?
Bridgekeeper: Huh? I... I don't know that.
[he is thrown over]
Bridgekeeper: Auuuuuuuugh.
Sir Bedevere: How do know so much about swallows?
King Arthur: Well, you have to know these things when you're a king, you know. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071853/quotes


My favorite of course, is the rabbit.

Tim: There he is!
King Arthur: Where?
Tim: There!
King Arthur: What? Behind the rabbit?
Tim: It *is* the rabbit!
King Arthur: You silly sod!
Tim: What?
King Arthur: You got us all worked up!
Tim: Well, that's no ordinary rabbit.
King Arthur: Ohh.
Tim: That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!
Sir Robin: You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!
Tim: Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer!
Sir Galahad: Get stuffed!
Tim: He'll do you up a treat, mate.
Sir Galahad: Oh, yeah?
Sir Robin: You mangy Scots git!
Tim: I'm warning you!
Sir Robin: What's he do? Nibble your bum?
Tim: He's got huge, sharp... er... He can leap about. Look at the bones!
King Arthur: Go on, Bors. Chop his head off!
Sir Bors: Right! Silly little bleeder. One rabbit stew comin' right up!

Watery tarts distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government!

Oh yeah!

"....But suddenely the Animator had a Heart Atack..*ARRRGH*" :D

"....But suddenely the Animator had a Heart Atack..*ARRRGH*" :D

LOL, that's one of my favorite Python moments. The look on his face when he's lying lifeless on the bed is pure gold.