NationStates Jolt Archive


The Single Worst Film I Have Seen This Week.

Dobbsworld
20-09-2005, 02:17
I lie, of course, as it's the only film I've seen this week, but I just thought I drop in to give two thumbs - two mighty ponderous thumbs (and as many other digits, opposable or not) - down - for the completely irredeemable cowflop that is "The Hitch-Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy".

I missed it in theatres this spring, happened to spot it on the shelf of my local video store the other day, again missed renting it out on my birthday last Saturday, but made a point of using a free video rental coupon to secure this beer-coaster of a DVD for my evening's entertainment tonight.

Understand - I first heard the BBC radio serial, twenty-plus years ago - then gobbled up the books - and later still found room for amusement watching the original made-for-television version, despite Trillian's looking and sounding like a bleached-blonde Betty Boop, despite special effects that frankly looked like castoffs from the old Doctor Who series, and despite the fact the story never really had much of an ending.

I'd have given my eyeteeth to be a part of that Galaxy. I'd've had a ball flying around in the Heart Of Gold, firing Kill-O-Zap Ray Guns, and getting smashed drinking Pan-Galactic Gargleblasters at the Evildrome Boozerama. But the... film... version... just made me want to scream.

I hated nearly every single thing about it. I didn't like Arthur - I loathed Zaphod - I wanted to bitchslap Trillian - Marvin wasn't amusing so much as grating - Ford was amazingly unfunny - and I wish they'd've disposed of the Vogons shortly after the teaser. John Malkovich was well-cast as a completely superfluous and again - unfunny - new character, the entire Deep Thought subplot was a wasted effort, as were the needless elaborations on the Vogons.

The single bright point in all this tedious dreck was Bill Nighy as Slartibartfarst. It is indeed a shame that Bill was passed over in his desire to be the new Doctor Who, I think he could have done quite well (and who knows, maybe one day he will) in the role of the Doctor.

Not even the cameo appearance of the original Marvin the Paranoid Android could have rescued this atrocity. I think it is a visceral disappointment, especially in light of the fact that poor Douglas Adams died partway through the making of this steaming pile of excrement.

Had I originally gone to the theatre for this one, I'm quite satisfied that I could have stood up halfway through, made a loud farting sound, flipped the bird to the screen, the projector, the audience, and the automatic ticket vendor out front of the cinema, and unceremoniously left the theatre in utter disgust and contempt for Hollywood's inability to make me laugh (even with arguably good material). One solitary titter - the man painting Ayers Rock.

The rest? Give me a goddamn book to read.
Greater Valia
20-09-2005, 02:22
Didn't Adams write the screenplay/script?
The Kredeck Probes
20-09-2005, 02:24
Didn't Adams write the screenplay/script?

Only 80% And that bit was modified.
Cannot think of a name
20-09-2005, 02:25
Had I originally gone to the theatre for this one, I'm quite satisfied that I could have stood up halfway through, made a loud farting sound, flipped the bird to the screen, the projector, the audience, and the automatic ticket vendor out front of the cinema, and unceremoniously left the theatre
Um...too late?
Lacadaemon
20-09-2005, 02:26
I also thought it was shit. Especially that hollywood musical bit in the begining with the dolphins.

Then it went downhill from there.

Once again, the so-called "talented" people in hollywood miss the point. All copies of that movie should be destroyed, and we should never talk of it again.
Greater Valia
20-09-2005, 02:27
I also thought it was shit. Especially that hollywood musical bit in the begining with the dolphins.

Then it went downhill from there.

Once again, the so-called "talented" people in hollywood miss the point. All copies of that movie should be destroyed, and we should never talk of it again.

So I'm guessing that I shouldn't see it?
Lacadaemon
20-09-2005, 02:28
So I'm guessing that I shouldn't see it?

Yes, or even talk about it.
Novoga
20-09-2005, 02:29
I liked it....
Dontgonearthere
20-09-2005, 02:30
I usualy think of a movie and a book as two entirly seperate entities, not to be gudged by their reflection on the other. In this case, I think that the movie was passable, especially when considered next to such 'wonderful' little productions as Starship Troopers.
At least in HTOTG theres a history of totaly changing things when moved into a new medium.
Dobbsworld
20-09-2005, 02:31
Unmitigated ruminant-leavings. A sheer waste of the processing power required of the individual to consume it. Not to mention the time.
The Mycon
20-09-2005, 02:34
So I'm guessing that I shouldn't see it?On one hand, it was far and away the best movie I've seen in years.

On the other hand, that ain't saying much. I expected more (though, subconciously, I feared much, much worse). They missed quite a few good jokes, and a few of the gags (plus most of the SFX Visuals) dragged on way too long. Most notably including the whole subplot added in, not in the book, in which all gags would have been brilliant if they had just ended one line sooner.

So, very worth seeing, but if you're a fanatic/purist who's obscenely conservative in terms of canon and you can't judge the film on its own merit, you might get a bug up your ass.
The Kredeck Probes
20-09-2005, 02:35
I'd rather hear Vogon poetry.
Dobbsworld
20-09-2005, 02:40
but if you're a fanatic/purist who's obscenely conservative in terms of canon and you can't judge the film on its own merit, you might get a bug up your ass.
If I'm capable of photosynthesizing I can tell if I'm watching unfunny dreck based entirely upon it's own merits, or lack thereof, thanks very much.
Chukacon
20-09-2005, 02:42
But the Vogons cant aim worth anything, The movie was kinda bad, the dolphin's song......THANK GOD I missed it the first time. But they needed more.....humor.....
Lacadaemon
20-09-2005, 02:42
I usualy think of a movie and a book as two entirly seperate entities, not to be gudged by their reflection on the other. In this case, I think that the movie was passable, especially when considered next to such 'wonderful' little productions as Starship Troopers.
At least in HTOTG theres a history of totaly changing things when moved into a new medium.

Starship troopers, while also justifiably being compared to a present that my doggie left for me to step on, at least had the decency to mitigate its complete failure to live up to the promise of the original story by having hot boobs action in it. This in some part made it more tolerable - for me at least - than HHGTHG.

And while it is true that HHGTHG has always reinvented itself whenever it changed from one media to another, there is one salient difference between the movie and all other formats in which it is available. The movie is shit. It is just really really bad. In fact, somewhere there is a word out there that I don't know, but it describes exactly how bad the worst movie in the world can be, and this is the word that describes this movie to a T. (And trust me it is bad.)

In conclusion, never see it, or talk of it. If we work together people, we can get through this.
The Nazz
20-09-2005, 02:45
I liked it....
Me too. For me, the only weakness was that you had to know the book to get the movie, because there were a lot of inside jokes.

You've got to realize--that book is practically unfilmable, as it has no plot to speak of. It's a difficult translation at best, and I went into the film expecting that, so maybe I was forewarned. But I liked it.
My legos
20-09-2005, 02:48
how could you not like that movie? it was creative and had tuns of good jokes! if you don't like comady then I can see why you'd hate it but that was a good movie to those of us that like creative comady. I give it two thumbs up!!! :D :D :D (and I never liked the book or TV show)
Dobbsworld
20-09-2005, 02:51
that book is practically unfilmable
and y'know? the best books are, really. unfilmable. thank all manner of gods.
The Nazz
20-09-2005, 02:54
and y'know? the best books are, really. unfilmable. thank all manner of gods.
I agree. That's a large part of the reason I'm a writer. :D
Katganistan
20-09-2005, 02:56
This is one of those films you either love or hate. I thought "So Long and Thanks for All the Fish," the Esther Williams-esque opening was hilarious, and enjoyed most of the film except for Zaphod being a complete idiot rather than simply the most self-centered person in the universe.

I'd say if you haven't seen it, rent it. Then at least you can decide for yourself whether or not you hate it.
Dobbsworld
20-09-2005, 02:57
I agree. That's a large part of the reason I'm a writer. :D
I write, too. But I work with graphics to make a living. I didn't know you were a writer, Nazz.
Lacadaemon
20-09-2005, 02:58
-that book is practically unfilmable, as it has no plot to speak of. It's a difficult translation at best, and I went into the film expecting that, so maybe I was forewarned. But I liked it.

Though the low budget TV show -despite being the weaker than the radio play - was not nearly as bad as the movie.

So there really is no excuse for how bad it was.
Dobbsworld
20-09-2005, 03:03
This is one of those films you either love or hate. I thought "So Long and Thanks for All the Fish," the Esther Williams-esque opening was hilarious, and enjoyed most of the film except for Zaphod being a complete idiot rather than simply the most self-centered person in the universe.
I had to look up the cast list, Zaphod was played by Sam Rockwell. I felt like I was trapped in my living room for nearly two hours with a man doing an extended impression of David Lee Roth circa 1987 while flipping his trick heads at the camera every once in a while. Wasn't this the same guy who was in Galaxy Quest a few years back? I just couldn't bear it (HHGTTG) after the first half hour... I tried liking it. It didn't work.

Rent it if you must, at least to satisfy your curiousity of true awfulness.
Katganistan
20-09-2005, 03:18
Hehehehe, now Galaxy Quest --- BEST STAR TREK MOVIE EVER MADE!!!!


*dodges the stones that are sure to be thrown at her*
H N Fiddlebottoms VIII
20-09-2005, 03:19
It wasn't terrible. Now, I will admit that it was below par, but it wasn't exactly bad. It sort of floated around mediocre, and I think that that is about all you can do if you try to take the books and make them into a movie.
As has been mentioned, the books didn't really have a central plot, things just sort of happened and some characters sort of reacted and this caused other things to happen and then someone makes a joke about something. Rinse and Repeat.
However, this doesn't translate well to a 2 hour movie, because a movie is expected to have a beggining and end, definitely defined, that occur within a couple hours screen time.
On the other hand, whoever the hell wrote the Zaphod part needs to die NOW, and their heart needs to be delivered post haste, so that I may burn it and pray to any deity that is within hearing that they reside forever in hell. He was such an ass, and not the humorous kind, but the 12 year old nephew who watches WWF and really needs to be killed kind of ass.
The Nazz
20-09-2005, 03:26
I write, too. But I work with graphics to make a living. I didn't know you were a writer, Nazz.
I am--I'm a poet, so I teach college English to pay the bills. No chance of a movie deal in my future, sorry to say.
The Nazz
20-09-2005, 03:28
Hehehehe, now Galaxy Quest --- BEST STAR TREK MOVIE EVER MADE!!!!


*dodges the stones that are sure to be thrown at her*Not from me, because I think you're right. :D

I think my favorite bit is when Sigourney Weaver and Tim Allen are about to run through the chompers, and Weaver's voice says "Well screw that!" while her lips say something a touch stronger.
Phylum Chordata
20-09-2005, 03:33
Starship troopers, while also justifiably being compared to a present that my doggie left for me to step on, at least had the decency to mitigate its complete failure to live up to the promise of the original story by having hot boobs action in it. This in some part made it more tolerable - for me at least - than HHGTHG.
The triple breasted whore of Eroticon VI ended up on the cutting room floor. Apparently she liked it down there.
Upper Dobbs Town
20-09-2005, 04:18
Hehehehe, now Galaxy Quest --- BEST STAR TREK MOVIE EVER MADE!!!!I kept wondering why they hadn't made it as a Star Trek movie...!
Smunkeeville
20-09-2005, 04:52
how could you not like that movie? it was creative and had tuns of good jokes! if you don't like comady then I can see why you'd hate it but that was a good movie to those of us that like creative comady. I give it two thumbs up!!! :D :D :D (and I never liked the book or TV show)
okay first it's books and second you didn't like them blasphemous reading Doulas Adams is basically the only thing that got me through middle school.

when I go watch movies made from books (esp books I like) I try to keep the movie version completely seperate from the books (because if you don't the movie, which never measures up, will suck)

I thought the movie was okay, I didn't like the dolphins, they mixed up some details and left out some of my favorite stuff, but again trying to stuff the Hitchhikers Guide into 90 min is no small feat.
btw I hated the tv show, but the radio show was cool (not comparing either to the books there either.)
Mauiwowee
20-09-2005, 04:56
My 10 year old son thought it was great. I thought it ok, but I glad I rented the DVD and didn't buy it.
Cannot think of a name
20-09-2005, 05:28
and y'know? the best books are, really. unfilmable. thank all manner of gods.I agree. That's a large part of the reason I'm a writer. :D
Oh yeah? I'll show you....

I am--I'm a poet, so I teach college English to pay the bills. No chance of a movie deal in my future, sorry to say.

Not talkin' like this, I tells ya...(j/k)

Although, you clearly haven't seen enough bad student films to realize that poetry is the bread and butter of the 'up it's own ass student film.'

But your poetry might be too good. I'm not sure these little slices of the pretentious pie work with good poetry...
Chocolate is Yummier
20-09-2005, 06:19
I lie, of course, as it's the only film I've seen this week, but I just thought I drop in to give two thumbs - two mighty ponderous thumbs (and as many other digits, opposable or not) - down - for the completely irredeemable cowflop that is "The Hitch-Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy".

I missed it in theatres this spring, happened to spot it on the shelf of my local video store the other day, again missed renting it out on my birthday last Saturday, but made a point of using a free video rental coupon to secure this beer-coaster of a DVD for my evening's entertainment tonight.

Understand - I first heard the BBC radio serial, twenty-plus years ago - then gobbled up the books - and later still found room for amusement watching the original made-for-television version, despite Trillian's looking and sounding like a bleached-blonde Betty Boop, despite special effects that frankly looked like castoffs from the old Doctor Who series, and despite the fact the story never really had much of an ending.

I'd have given my eyeteeth to be a part of that Galaxy. I'd've had a ball flying around in the Heart Of Gold, firing Kill-O-Zap Ray Guns, and getting smashed drinking Pan-Galactic Gargleblasters at the Evildrome Boozerama. But the... film... version... just made me want to scream.

I hated nearly every single thing about it. I didn't like Arthur - I loathed Zaphod - I wanted to bitchslap Trillian - Marvin wasn't amusing so much as grating - Ford was amazingly unfunny - and I wish they'd've disposed of the Vogons shortly after the teaser. John Malkovich was well-cast as a completely superfluous and again - unfunny - new character, the entire Deep Thought subplot was a wasted effort, as were the needless elaborations on the Vogons.

The single bright point in all this tedious dreck was Bill Nighy as Slartibartfarst. It is indeed a shame that Bill was passed over in his desire to be the new Doctor Who, I think he could have done quite well (and who knows, maybe one day he will) in the role of the Doctor.

Not even the cameo appearance of the original Marvin the Paranoid Android could have rescued this atrocity. I think it is a visceral disappointment, especially in light of the fact that poor Douglas Adams died partway through the making of this steaming pile of excrement.

Had I originally gone to the theatre for this one, I'm quite satisfied that I could have stood up halfway through, made a loud farting sound, flipped the bird to the screen, the projector, the audience, and the automatic ticket vendor out front of the cinema, and unceremoniously left the theatre in utter disgust and contempt for Hollywood's inability to make me laugh (even with arguably good material). One solitary titter - the man painting Ayers Rock.

The rest? Give me a goddamn book to read.

Watch Win a date with Tad Hamilton, then HHGTTG won't seem so bad, that is if you haven't commited suicide before the end of the movie. It is the worst thing i have ever seen, including our classes attempts in Media Studies.

Rant besides, i thought HHGTTG was okay, despite the fact it didn't realy follow the books. It could have been better though.
AnarchyeL
20-09-2005, 07:25
My girlfriend and I thought the film was insanely funny, including the dolphin bit at the beginning. I just thought that really set up the mildly self-deprecating mood of the whole thing.

(And yes, both of us are fans of all previous incarnations of the Guide.)

It just seems fashionable these days to turn up one's nose at any movie that just tries to be entertaining without taking itself too seriously, especially if it happens to have been adapted from a book.

So, fine. I won't bother trying to justify my thorough enjoyment of this film, since you don't want to hear it. You will be happy knowing that you are better and more discriminating than I, and I will be at least as happy knowing that I can still enjoy things for their own sake.
Carnivorous Lickers
20-09-2005, 15:16
My 10 year old son thought it was great. I thought it ok, but I glad I rented the DVD and didn't buy it.


I took my eleven yr old son to see it in the theatre. He tried to laugh here and there and I just suffered through it. It really wasnt my cup of tea. I didnt go with high expectations anyway.
Spooty
20-09-2005, 15:21
I liked it....

no you didn't

on the subject of bad films you want to avoid "Sideways" I have tried over and over again to get into it i keep thinking to myself "it'll get going soon..." "yep going soon" "C'MON GODDAMMIT!" I't is the worst film ever, i have also heard bad things from Kingdom of Heaven.
Compulsive Depression
20-09-2005, 15:30
My sister and I thought it was quite good.
I can't justify myself, 'cos I can never remember films and things. Gives them good re-watch value, at least.

Gregory's Girl is the Worst Film Ever. We were forced to watch it in school.
Twice.
New British Glory
20-09-2005, 15:36
It wasn't fantastic, agreed, but it was mildly amusing. I quite liked it when the Randomness (forgotten the name) drive kicked in and they all turned into knitted models. The whale bit (voiced by the ever funny Bill Bailey) was also good.

The reason it was not a good film was probably because it followed the style (note, not the content) of the books too closely - there was no precise story but a random sequence of interconnected events, just in the same way as the book does. In reality, if they had wanted to make a good film they should have dropped that particular similarity and tried to give it some actual structure.
Legless Pirates
20-09-2005, 15:49
I thought the film was hilarious. Of course, I still have to read the book. (it's waiting for me on the shelf, together with the other 10 books I still want to read)

Worst film I've seen in a little while: Intoxicated
Demented Hamsters
20-09-2005, 15:56
I was initially pretty wary of seeing it, based solely on Marvin. It looked like he'd been designed by some hollywood hack with the sole idea of making him look cute enough to be stocking filler for the kids come Xmas.

While flying back to HK I decided to give it a go though.

I gave up on it being anywhere near decent when they completely left out the punch-line to what a Babel fish meant to God's existence.
I can only assume that some Hollywood exec was so worried that some religious wacko group in the states might get offended by a flippant comment about God's non-existence in a surreal comedy and thus not go, the line was omitted/deleted. Heavens above that someone might be slightly offended and so not give a movie company money!
Once I noticed that missing, I figured it would be all down-hill from there. And I was right. They even managed to ignore the whole '6*9 = 42' punchline! I mean why? Were they worried about confusing morons the world over?


On another note, 'Kingdom of Heaven' is ok, as long as you forget about historical accuracy (eg. the Leper King had died a year or two before the year the film was set in, and Bloom's character fought in the battle the new king lost but was allowed to go back to the city) and watch it for the action scenes.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: 'Lost in Translation' sucked big time. I know there's other shit movies out there, but at least you know, for example, that a movie with Paris Hilton in it will be shit. 'LiT' was raved about by every critic as the best movie ever. Yet all it is, is a poorly cobbled together collection of the hoariest 'stranger-in-a-strange-land' cliches mixed up with 'middle-aged-man-going-thru-mid-life-crisis' cliches with added 'recently-married-woman-unsure-of-her-direction-in-life' cliches. It was a paint-by-numbered-cliche movie, yet everyone went on and on about how wonderful it was.
It wasn't.
It was shit.
Legless Pirates
20-09-2005, 16:06
You people. The problem is YOU. YOU had these great expectations. Of course they can't put the entire thing in one film!
GOLDDIRK
20-09-2005, 16:08
Haven't seen Hitchhikers yet but I loved the tv series and of course the book, the radioseries was a hoot as well.

I just hope that they DO NOT fuck up the RED DWARF movie, I just wish they would get Terry Gilliam to do it, I'd sleep better at night.

Damn the Hollywood (Greed, Idiocy,and Money people) film making system it's RUINING All those that want to make real films.

Rich
The Edd
20-09-2005, 16:32
I really enjoyed Lost In Translation.
I mostly enjoyed the Hitchhiker's Guide film. I thought that it was good.
I thought that Sideways was fine, although didn't "get" all the hype (Empire giving it 5 stars, for example) of it.
Charlen
20-09-2005, 16:34
Only time I've ever seen movies do justice to the books they're based on was Lord of the Rings. Not those old animated pieces of crap, the "new" (not quite as new anymore xp) live-action masterpieces.
They still weren't quite as good as the books, but they were so close and captured the epic feel of the story.
And if you don't want to say HHGTTG was the worst movie you've seen this week, go rent Open Water =P Crappiest movie I can think of right now, all it consists of is two people sitting in the water yeling at each other.
Darksbania
20-09-2005, 21:19
Only time I've ever seen movies do justice to the books they're based on was Lord of the Rings.
Completely agreed.

And although I haven't seen HHGTTG yet, I can assure you that no movie could be worse than Resident Evil: Apocalypse. I mean, the first one was so-so, but the second one was so bad I feel embarassed just to admit to having seen it.

*hides in shame*
Drunk commies deleted
20-09-2005, 21:25
I only watched one movie over the weekend. Cold Mountain. Finally got around to seeing it. It was pretty good. Not great, but watchable.
I V Stalin
20-09-2005, 21:36
-snip-
You are so right...that film was possibly the biggest pile of crap I've ever seen. And I've watched every one of the Police Academy films, plus some of the 'erotic thrillers' they show on channel 5...
I knew before that I was going to dislike it, as I'd seen pictures of Marvin, but it was worse than I could possibly have imagined. They could power the world until the next millennium from Douglas Adams spinning in his grave. Just about every single thing about it was wrong, although there were some good points - as you pointed out, Bill Nighy. Also, the whale and the bowl of tulips. I'm trying to think of other good points here, but I'm struggling...



Spooty - Sideways is comic genius. One of the best films I've seen this year. It's probably the best book adaptation I've ever seen.
Balipo
20-09-2005, 21:54
I don't know. I think of recent films, that the qualifier for the worst movie I have ever seen in my life is "The Cave"

Nothing can possibly be worse.
Pope Hope
20-09-2005, 21:59
Unfortunately I glanced part of 13 Going on 30 on HBO a couple of days ago. *shudders*

The most recent adapation of Hitchhikers pales in comparison to that horribleness.
Branin
20-09-2005, 22:20
Didn't Adams write the screenplay/script?
Didn't adams die?
HowTheDeadLive
20-09-2005, 22:22
<snip>

I think i said it best when i went to the cinema and walked out. Turned to my cousin who was accompanying me and said "that was like the Hitch-hikers Guide, without wit".

The cast was interesting and may have worked if it had had a better script (although casting Freeman as Dent was stupid, from beginning to end. Dent is Adams, not some lower middle class office boy, but a plum Home Counties ex Oxbridge type). The special effects were very good, as was the direction. But from beginning to end, any positive notes were stymied because every opportunity to put a decent gag from the original series or book in was cut. All the wonderful, flowing, inventive, surreal, super-real humour of Adams was pared down, so each wonderful line fell flat, mainly because at least half of the line was missing. This was supposedly done to cut the film down into some sort of shape. That being the case, why the hell add the completely superflous John Malcovich side-plot?

A disaster.
Sinuhue
20-09-2005, 22:32
Did anyone who loved the books, or the original radio series like this movie?

It made me cry it was so bad. So, so bad. Two heads to me NEVER meant one head flopping back to reveal another. *weeps*
CthulhuFhtagn
20-09-2005, 22:45
I don't know. I think of recent films, that the qualifier for the worst movie I have ever seen in my life is "The Cave"

Nothing can possibly be worse.
Manos: Hands of Fate. Second worst movie of all time. Unlike the worst movie of all time, it isn't horrible enough to be good. It just plain sucks. Even MST3K couldn't make it watchable.
I V Stalin
20-09-2005, 23:23
Did anyone who loved the books, or the original radio series like this movie?

It made me cry it was so bad. So, so bad. Two heads to me NEVER meant one head flopping back to reveal another. *weeps*
Yeah, even the crap wax head that was Zaphod's other in the tv series was better than that. One of my friends said the film 'filled in the gaps' where he hadn't read the book properly...if he ever does read the book properly, he's going to know quite how crap the film is.
Chicken pi
20-09-2005, 23:41
I didn't think it was all that bad, apart from a few flaws here and there. Arthur Dent, as already said, was badly cast. Martin Freeman was just playing Tim from The Office in a dressing gown. Zaphod was well-cast, but having the head pop up was a bit dumb. I disliked the clumsy Star Wars reference (the lightsaber cheese cutter). And when Trillian shot Zaphod with that gun thing, which made him reveal her feelings for Arthur..ugh.

Hmm...it seems like a much worse movie now I look back on it.
Sabbatis
20-09-2005, 23:50
[QUOTE=Dobbsworld

<snip>
[/QUOTE]

Dobbs, you really have a way with words! That's as good a movie review as I've read in a while. Seriously.

I'll give it a miss per your advice.
Gun toting civilians
21-09-2005, 00:03
Dobbs, I think that this is the first time that I have ever agreed with you.

This isn't the worst adaptation from a book that I have seen? Has anyone here ever read Starship Troopers or Battlefield Eath. The people responsible took these great books, and murdered them. Then they violated the corpses and video taped the results.

The Hollywood execs responsible should be drug out into the street and slowly killed. I'd pay to to see that movie.
Falhaar2
21-09-2005, 01:05
This isn't the worst adaptation from a book that I have seen? Has anyone here ever read Starship Troopers or Battlefield Eath. Battlefield Earth wasn't a particularly good book anyway, but yes it was still brutalised.

The difference with Starship Troopers is that it was intentionally satirized by Paul Verhoeven. He found the ultra-militaristic, pro-fascist and "boy's own adventure" style of the book hilarious. Thus he took the basic story (Johnny Rico fights bug aliens) and loaded it with sly humour, satire and sex/violence. I think that movie is vastly underrated.
Domici
21-09-2005, 01:18
I'd have given my eyeteeth to be a part of that Galaxy. I'd've had a ball flying around in the Heart Of Gold, firing Kill-O-Zap Ray Guns, and getting smashed drinking Pan-Galactic Gargleblasters at the Evildrome Boozerama. But the... film... version... just made me want to scream.

Um, but wouldn't you only have been part of the part that got blown up? You can pretty much do that now.
Wesleiesm
21-09-2005, 01:23
I lie, of course, as it's the only film I've seen this week, but I just thought I drop in to give two thumbs - two mighty ponderous thumbs (and as many other digits, opposable or not) - down - for the completely irredeemable cowflop that is "The Hitch-Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy".


Heresy!!!! :sniper:
Wesleiesm
21-09-2005, 01:28
This is one of those films you either love or hate. I thought "So Long and Thanks for All the Fish," the Esther Williams-esque opening was hilarious, and enjoyed most of the film except for Zaphod being a complete idiot rather than simply the most self-centered person in the universe.

I'd say if you haven't seen it, rent it. Then at least you can decide for yourself whether or not you hate it.

Hey, most self centered people are idiots, that is an easy way to look at it.
Wesleiesm
21-09-2005, 01:30
Didn't adams die?

Yeah, after helping with the movie.
Dobbsworld
21-09-2005, 02:16
Honestly, I'd rather watch 'Flesh Gordon' - yes, "Flesh Gordon' - on a 14" portable black & white TV than sit through that car-wreck of a film a second time.

I feel most apologetic towards my DVD player. And my beautiful monitor.
01923
21-09-2005, 02:49
Meh. I'll agree that it was almost a total deviation from the actual plot of the book, but it was still not a terrible movie. Not worth seeing again, mind you. I like Alan Rickman a lot, so that helped me with it.

No, the award for "Book most shredded by Hollywood" still goes to "Starship Troopers" and the filth it "inspired." Like that other guy said, the shower scene is the only redeeming feature in the movie.
H N Fiddlebottoms VIII
21-09-2005, 03:18
I think that you all are being to hard on Starship Troopers, because it did spawn the totally awesome epic sequel that was/is/will forever be Starship Troopers 2: Some Other Kind of Shit with Bugs or Zombies or Something.
What grander stories have been written? What finer prose hath graced the screen of silver? None, I say, none!

I really do know far too much about crappy cut rate movies, don't I?
Mitigation
21-09-2005, 03:47
I gave up on it being anywhere near decent when they completely left out the punch-line to what a Babel fish meant to God's existence.



Heh, that is actually in the DVD as a deleted scene too.
Hiberniae
21-09-2005, 03:53
I bet I've seen a lot worse.
Dewsuglimu
21-09-2005, 04:14
I really enjoyed the film, myself. Sure, it didn't stand up to the radio play, but no other version does. It certainly beat the mediocre TV version.

With the exceptions of Sam Rockwell and Alan Rickman, I thought the casting of the film was quite good. Mos Def, in particular, was very good as Ford. (This really caught me off guard, though it occurs to me that my reasons for this are fairly superficial and idiotic)

And how could one not be amazed by the factory floor?

- ME -