NationStates Jolt Archive

Okay, as some of you know, and some of you don't, I recently experienced a sports-related injury at the hands(or feet) or one of my friends. Which happens. And I, or course, being the good friend I am, did not get mad. After all, accidents happen. But being the kind of friend I am, and the kind of people I am friends with, I must also plot a devious revenge.

Would any of you like to help me plot my vengeance?

Pipe to his knees.

Pipe to his knees.

Nah. Not painful enough. One shot, and he's wrecked.

I want something I can enjoy for a while.

Sleep with his mom :eek:

Nah. Not painful enough. One shot, and he's wrecked.

I want something I can enjoy for a while.

.. Pipe to groin?

The satisfaction of neutering him would be long term, and hilarious.

.. Pipe to groin?

The satisfaction of neutering him would be long term, and hilarious.

*ponders* It could take quite a few strikes....

Nah. Not painful enough. One shot, and he's wrecked.

I want something I can enjoy for a while.

Oh, well then, that's easy. You need to pop his cherry. Nothing spells fun like male rape!

Okay, as some of you know, and some of you don't, I recently experienced a sports-related injury at the hands(or feet) or one of my friends. Which happens. And I, or course, being the good friend I am, did not get mad. After all, accidents happen. But being the kind of friend I am, and the kind of people I am friends with, I must also plot a devious revenge.

Would any of you like to help me plot my vengeance?

Decapitate a pet and leave the head at the bottom of his bed.

Decapitate a pet and leave the head at the bottom of his bed.
Preferably a horse?

paper cut between the thumb and the forefinger, it hurts like a bitch

oh and on a completely unrelated note, where have all the stickies gone? :confused:

paper cut between the thumb and the forefinger, it hurts like a bitch

oh and on a completely unrelated note, where have all the stickies gone? :confused:
Ouch

And they cleaned up some stickies and are now making a Profile/Picture Thread combo. So just the rules remain for now

Preferably a horse?

I dunno, i think a hamster would be scarier.

Okay, as some of you know, and some of you don't, I recently experienced a sports-related injury at the hands(or feet) or one of my friends. Which happens. And I, or course, being the good friend I am, did not get mad. After all, accidents happen. But being the kind of friend I am, and the kind of people I am friends with, I must also plot a devious revenge.

Would any of you like to help me plot my vengeance?sports cream in the jock strap.

I'm not that good with non-permanently-harmful types of revenge but I'm willing to give it a go!

-Using a careful amount of chocolate laxatives, make him the best brownies...ever! Leave a bottle of gatorade next to his bathroom beforehand.

-Football to the groin!

-Use his name for those 'Russian bride' ads.

-Inquire about a mortgage online with his info, telelmarketers will call him forever. Even the DNC (Do Not Call List)allows them at least 1 try within the last time the DNC list has been scrubbed of DNC numbers.

sports cream in the jock strap.

how about super glue?

Pipe to his knees.
The Tonya Harding gambit. I'm proud of you.

What happened to good old pranks with itching powder?

how about super glue?1) tends to dry quickly, thus he will suspect something when his jock strap is stiff like plastic.
2) he will suspect something when the fingers he uses to pick it up gets stuck.
3) when he puts it on.... well... that's up to Lunatic...

The Tonya Harding gambit. I'm proud of you.

Well, white trash has to be good for something.

I'm going to vote "no" for the vengence part. This is why there is forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn't imply that what happened to you was deserved or right, it merely means it happened and it's over with. By harboring thoughts of vengence, it only serves to allow one to experience the pain long after the event that caused it is gone.

I'm going to vote "no" for the vengence part. This is why there is forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn't imply that what happened to you was deserved or right, it merely means it happened and it's over with. By harboring thoughts of vengence, it only serves to allow one to experience the pain long after the event that caused it is gone.Hey Lunatic, that's a great Idea. if you are known for "Getting Revenge" don't do anything. Let em think you're planning something really 'special' but don't do anything... let em beat themselves up trying to think about your 'angle' :D

1) tends to dry quickly, thus he will suspect something when his jock strap is stiff like plastic.
2) he will suspect something when the fingers he uses to pick it up gets stuck.
3) when he puts it on.... well... that's up to Lunatic...

There are certain powdered ceramic adhesives that are more effective for gluing jockstraps on.

Maybe glue AND Ben Gay. :)

1) tends to dry quickly, thus he will suspect something when his jock strap is stiff like plastic.
2) he will suspect something when the fingers he uses to pick it up gets stuck.
3) when he puts it on.... well... that's up to Lunatic...

right then, pva glue ;)

I'm going to vote "no" for the vengence part. This is why there is forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn't imply that what happened to you was deserved or right, it merely means it happened and it's over with. By harboring thoughts of vengence, it only serves to allow one to experience the pain long after the event that caused it is gone.

This isn't about revenge in the classical sense. This is about entertaining myself and my other friends at the expense of one of our own.

Oh, well then, that's easy. You need to pop his cherry. Nothing spells fun like male rape!

Ah! A classic! :D

I'm going to vote "no" for the vengence part. This is why there is forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn't imply that what happened to you was deserved or right, it merely means it happened and it's over with. By harboring thoughts of vengence, it only serves to allow one to experience the pain long after the event that caused it is gone.

http://www.spacespider.net/emo/common059.gif

swich up his keys so they all look the same but none of them work

This isn't about revenge in the classical sense. This is about entertaining myself and my other friends at the expense of one of our own.
Laxative choclate in brownies and diuretics in that big glass of milk to wash it down with. :p

Ah! A classic! :D

The physical scars will fade, but the emotional ones will last a lifetime.

The physical scars will fade, but the emotional ones will last a lifetime.unless he loves it, then you will have someone constantly following you around... trying to get another LG Booster shot.

Brick wall in front of all entrances and exits to his house. Not sure about the windows...

The physical scars will fade, but the emotional ones will last a lifetime.

It's not THAT bad. AT least not for me. But then again, my mind was already pretty loosely bolted together.

unless he loves it, then you will have someone constantly following you around... trying to get another LG Booster shot.

Just what I need; another wife. :rolleyes:

unless he loves it, then you will have someone constantly following you around... trying to get another LG Booster shot.

We're talking rape here, not sweet, sweet, lubed loving.

It's not THAT bad. AT least not for me. But then again, my mind was already pretty loosely bolted together.

Your rapist performed poorly, then.

This isn't about revenge in the classical sense. This is about entertaining myself and my other friends at the expense of one of our own.

Well, if that's the case, any personal object frozen in the middle of a block of ice in a bucket can be very entertaining. My recommendation would be car or house keys.

Well, if that's the case, any personal object frozen in the middle of a block of ice in a bucket can be very entertaining. My recommendation would be car or house keys.

ice can melt... cement is better ;) :D

Your rapist performed poorly, then.

He was kind of new at it. *nod*

ice can melt... cement is better ;) :D

Acrylic. See-thru. :)

while he is in the gym, or somewhere jack up his car, steal the tires, leave it blocks. take removed tires, and make them in to tire swings in his yard. add some blow up dolls for artistic quality, and viola!!!!. you could also take pictures of the tires in thier new positions and put them in the car, for when he makes the discovery. or, dont give the tires back, just wait until the next game, and have some boy scouts or drag queens carry them onto the field .

Acrylic. See-thru. :)not if only Half of the Key is embedded in the cemet.

ice can melt... cement is better ;) :D
Well, we are talking about friends here, so the damage does have to be reversible. You may be suprized to find out how much effort it does take to break something out of a block of ice, especially when you start wailing away at it and the pieces become opaque from stress fractures. Then you have to start examining each piece to find what you're looking for.

Besides, it's much different when you can see the object of your desire but just can't get to it.

Well, we are talking about friends here, so the damage does have to be reversible. You may be suprized to find out how much effort it does take to break something out of a block of ice, especially when you start wailing away at it and the pieces become opaque from stress fractures. Then you have to start examining each piece to find what you're looking for.

Besides, it's much different when you can see the object of your desire but just can't get to it.

well, hence the acrylic cement :D

and one can always change the locks to the house and get new keys

shoot em full of meth and poke em with a needle for a few hours

in addition to my aforementioned tire prank, i also suggest the treasure hunt.
pilfer his MOST PRIZED possession, something he must have, and give it to a stranger- bar tender, etc. then lead him on a treasure hunt/obtacle course, where at each each station he must perform a hidoues task in order to get the next clue. follow him with a video camera. god, this one rules.

What happened to good old pranks with itching powder?
Oh Man, damn you Laerod! That was my call!

So: I second Itching Powder!!!

There are certain powdered ceramic adhesives that are more effective for gluing jockstraps on.

Maybe glue AND Ben Gay. :)
Ben Gay is evil if accidently applied elsewhere. Trust me. Don't do it if you don't deserve it.
LG: Go for it! Combined with Itching Powder. Drive him nuts :D

Although the garden swings make a wonderful picture and are a good reason for a BBQ and get-together.

Okay LG I think I got one. Basicly you've gotta find a way to open and then carefully reseal a condom packet, after having coated the inside of the condom with Tiger Balm.

Drive him nuts :D... by irritating his Nuts! :D

Okay LG I think I got one. Basicly you've gotta find a way to open and then carefully reseal a condom packet, after having coated the inside of the condom with Tiger Balm.OWWWW! Further proof on why I should never piss you off Spoffin...

replace Tiger Balm with Novocaine.

... by irritating his Nuts! :D
Aargh! It's driving me nuts :D
http://www.textamerica.com/user.images.x/62/IMG_444262/Big/_0406/T520050406173324230.jpg

in addition to my aforementioned tire prank, i also suggest the treasure hunt.
pilfer his MOST PRIZED possession, something he must have, and give it to a stranger- bar tender, etc. then lead him on a treasure hunt/obtacle course, where at each each station he must perform a hidoues task in order to get the next clue. follow him with a video camera. god, this one rules.
Okay, I've changed my mind, I like this one better!

Begin with something nice and easy, like kissing a fish. Move up through licking a subway pole, streaking a public event, something like this. Somewhere near the end you should have him wait around some really bad neighbourhood in the middle of the night, then get some friends to help you grab him and stuff him in the back of a van.

Does he have a wife/ girlfriend? Its always good if you can get them involved, they're rarely suspected.

Aargh! It's driving me nuts :D
http://www.textamerica.com/user.images.x/62/IMG_444262/Big/_0406/T520050406173324230.jpg
Excellent
http://www.grudge-match.com/Images/burns.gif

OWWWW! Further proof on why I should never piss you off Spoffin...

replace Tiger Balm with Novocaine.
Oh yes, topical anaesthetic, then have a really hot girl pick him up and he will be surprised when he quite literally can't feel a thing.

Okay, I've changed my mind, I like this one better!

Begin with something nice and easy, like kissing a fish. Move up through licking a subway pole, streaking a public event, something like this. Somewhere near the end you should have him wait around some really bad neighbourhood in the middle of the night, then get some friends to help you grab him and stuff him in the back of a van.

Does he have a wife/ girlfriend? Its always good if you can get them involved, they're rarely suspected.
And I've just thought of what the prized possession you can kidnap can be. You ever heard of a CB-2000 male chastity belt? You still have some of that chloroform left over, right?

I'd humiliate him HORRIBLY in school, or work if it was serious.
but since I don't know what happened, and since you got hurt I'd get him to drink a beer or pop filled to the brim with laxatives, hehehe....
If you do that inform me about it.

Two suggestions-
1: Put out an ad for a yard sale at his address (or something comparable with his phone number if he lives in an apartment/dorm), starting at 8AM. Bargain hunters will inevitably show up three hours early. Until he tracks down the source (and convinces them it's a prank/clerical error), it will continue.

2: Without removing his tires, jack up his car until they just barely touch the ground. Put cement blocks/bricks/raised jacks under the suspension, inside the tires, so that he can't see them. When he tries to move, the wheels spin uselessly.

Other than that, there's just the regular (jock strap, steal hubcaps, dead animal in his ventillation system, etc.)

And I've just thought of what the prized possession you can kidnap can be. You ever heard of a CB-2000 male chastity belt? You still have some of that chloroform left over, right?ROTFLMAO!

ROTFLMAO!
Oh yeah. Never underestimate the possibility for pure, unmitigated evil.



Also imprisioning his dick is gonna be a helluva lot more effective than just stealing his watch or whatever.

Habanero extract in his:

a) Mouthwash (stuff gets nasty with alcohol...),
b) Nasal spray, or
c) Eyedrops

:D

Just in case anyone is interested, I think I recall that one of the previous guys LG took revenge on was chloroformed, and then put in a full body cast for about 13 hours while they tickled his feet. Sometime around hour 11-12, he pissed himself. The guy's girlfriend was one of several people who were present.

I think that the reason he recieved this treatment was because he duct-taped LG upside down, naked, to a billboard (?).

Just in case anyone is interested, I think I recall that one of the previous guys LG took revenge on was chloroformed, and then put in a full body cast for about 13 hours while they tickled his feet. Sometime around hour 11-12, he pissed himself. The guy's girlfriend was one of several people who were present.

I think that the reason he recieved this treatment was because he duct-taped LG upside down, naked, to a billboard (?).

'k, so 1)Don't piss off LG. 2)Don't piss off Spoffin. 3)Come to them for non-permanent vengance suggestions (I'm better when you're willing to physically/mentally scar someone).

And I've just thought of what the prized possession you can kidnap can be. You ever heard of a CB-2000 male chastity belt? You still have some of that chloroform left over, right?

WOW! Now that's a wickedly awesome idea! ANd yes, I do. :)

Just in case anyone is interested, I think I recall that one of the previous guys LG took revenge on was chloroformed, and then put in a full body cast for about 13 hours while they tickled his feet. Sometime around hour 11-12, he pissed himself. The guy's girlfriend was one of several people who were present.

I think that the reason he recieved this treatment was because he duct-taped LG upside down, naked, to a billboard (?).

A few minor corrections: It was 4 hours.

The duct-tape incident was in no way connected, and occurred several years earlier.

I performed this act as retribution for a broken wrist.

But Pretty good memory. :)

A few minor corrections: It was 4 hours.

The duct-tape incident was in no way connected, and occurred several years earlier.

I performed this act as retribution for a broken wrist.

But Pretty good memory. :)


I also believe that in retribution for your incapacitating and casting of Ape, you were deluged with a skunk-musk type liquid, were you not?

I also believe that in retribution for your incapacitating and casting of Ape, you were deluged with a skunk-musk type liquid, were you not?

Yes. :(

Would the use of laxatives be too juvenile and unorigional?

Would the use of laxatives be too juvenile and unorigional?

Perhaps a bit unoriginal. It's also important to note that unwittingly slipping someone any drug, even one as harmless as that, is a serious crime. So such antics should be reserved for people with a sense of humor about such things.

Perhaps a bit unoriginal. It's also important to note that unwittingly slipping someone any drug, even one as harmless as that, is a serious crime. So such antics should be reserved for people with a sense of humor about such things.

Just about any practical joke that I can think of could be considered a crime if the person took exception.

Go to the post office. Get a change of address form and fill in his name and address and then fill in the address where you want all his mail delivered - General Delivery, Bangkok, Thailand is my personal favorite.

P.S. note - I'm pretty sure this might be illegal, so be careful :D

Okay, as some of you know, and some of you don't, I recently experienced a sports-related injury at the hands(or feet) or one of my friends. Which happens. And I, or course, being the good friend I am, did not get mad. After all, accidents happen. But being the kind of friend I am, and the kind of people I am friends with, I must also plot a devious revenge.

Would any of you like to help me plot my vengeance?

What are your "friend's" weak points?

What does he (she?) really hate to have happen to him?

How can you make him "take sympathy" on you long enough to spring
your "device of revenge"?

Do you wish to inflict PAIN, DISGUST, EMBARASSMENT, or some combination
of affects?

Can I watch?

It should involve some humiliation related to your injury,.. but that's just a
poetic quasi-necessity that I "tend" to impose on all my practical jokes,.. to
make the write-up more amusing to my audience.

So,.. let's get cracking on this little campaign..!!!

Tell me more..!!

list him on e-bay with his phone number.

my favourites are the acrylic, mega frustrating

and the car tyres, i can imagine the sick photos with dolls. how much would it cost to mail them to his work every day for a year?