NationStates Jolt Archive

Here is a list of things to watch out for. Just to keep you alert. :)

anal rape
quicksand
body lice
evil spirits
gridlock
acid rain
continental drift
labor violence
flash floods
rabies
torture
bad luck
calcium deficiency
falling rocks
cattle stampedes
bank failure
evil neighbors
killer bees
organ rejection
lynching
toxic waste
unstable dynamite
religious fanatics
prickly heat
price fixing
moral decay
hotel fires
loss of face
stink bombs
bubonic plague
neo-Nazis
friction
cereal weevils
failure of will
chain reactions
soil erosion
mail fraud
dry rot
voodoo curses
broken glass
snake bites
parasites
white slavery
public ridicule
faithless friends
random violence
breach of contract
family scandals
charlatans
transverse militias
structural defects
race riots
sun spots
rogue elephants
wax buildup
killer frost
jealous coworkers
root canals
mental fatigue
corporal punishment
sneak attacks
peer pressure
vigilantes
birth defects
false advertising
ungrateful children
financial ruin
mildew
loss of priveleges
bad drugs
ill-fitting shoes
widespread chaos
stray bullets
runaway trains
chemical spills
locusts
airline food
shipwrecks
prowlers
bathtub accidents
faulty merchandise
terrorism
discrimination
wrongful cremation
carbon deposits
beef tapeworms
taxation without representation
escaped maniacs
sunburn
abandonment
threatening letters
entropy
nine-mile fever
poor workmanship
absentee landlord
solitary confinement
depletion of the ozone layer
unworthiness
intestinal bleeding
defrocked priests
loss of equilibrium
disgruntled employees
global warming
card sharks
poisoned meat
nuclear accidents
broken promises
contamination of the water supply
obscene phone calls
nuclear winter
wayward girls
mutual assured destruction
rampaging moose
the greenhouse effect
cluster headaches
social isolation
Dutch elm disease
contraction of the universe
paper cuts
eternal damnation
the wrath of God

And PARANOIA!

((by George Carlin))

What's wrong with anal rape and airline food?

Does it mention cement trucks?

Here is a list of things to watch out for. Just to keep you alert. :)

anal rape

Too late...:(

I always seem to have such problems with those damn transverse militias.....

And mutual assured destruction, don't you EVEN get me started.

Feeling a little lonely today, LG?

Prickly Heat the TV-show?

You forgot the lumpenproletariat.

Too late...:(
You know you liked it.

wrongful cremation,
If I had a nickel....

While sleeping on railroad tracks you should watch out for trains.
While flying an airplane you should watch out for other airplanes and the ground.
There are many things you should watch out for in life, but if you watch out for everything you won't have time to enjoy living. :D

While sleeping on railroad tracks you should watch out for trains.
While flying an airplane you should watch out for other airplanes and the ground.
There are many things you should watch out for in life, but if you watch out for everything you won't have time to enjoy living. :D
Some days you're too sunshiney for me.... ;)

Simonist']I always seem to have such problems with those damn transverse militias.....

And mutual assured destruction, don't you EVEN get me started.

Feeling a little lonely today, LG?

'Lonely' is not the right word. I spent the week off because of my face. I filled most of the excess time I had with lots of boinking.

But right now, my son is with his grandmother and my wife is at work. I needed some free entertainment, so I came here to mess with people's minds. :)

You missed Barry Manilow.

'Lonely' is not the right word. I spent the week off because of my face. I filled most of the excess time I had with lots of boinking.

But right now, my son is with his grandmother and my wife is at work. I needed some free entertainment, so I came here to mess with people's minds. :)
Yes yes, I do recall perhaps making fun of you a bit about the nose thing.....how's that coming, anyway? I'd say you probably should've added "cleats" to the list, all things considered.

Simonist']Yes yes, I do recall perhaps making fun of you a bit about the nose thing.....how's that coming, anyway? I'd say you probably should've added "cleats" to the list, all things considered.

I've begun plotting vengeance. :)

I've begun plotting vengeance. :)
Spoken like a real ninja jedi clown

anal rape - something to watch..
quicksand - i luv telling lil kids they're organic trampoleans :D
body lice - *scratches*
evil spirits - dont look at me!
gridlock - so?
acid rain - *put tounge out and run in the rain*
continental drift - viva la meheco!
labor violence - walmart cage fights, COMING TO A TOWN NEAR YOU!
flash floods - gods swimming pool
rabies - *foams at the mouth*
torture - dont bash s&m!!
bad luck - 13!!!
calcium deficiency - got milk?
falling rocks - what can i say.. gravitys a bitch
cattle stampedes - Moo. EAT MOR BEEF!
bank failure - ill get the ski masks
evil neighbors - ill get the lighter fluid
killer bees - ill get the fire crackers
organ rejection - jello
lynching - kinky..
toxic waste - *gargle*
unstable dynamite - can you say "LETS PLAY BASEBALL!"?
religious fanatics - eeewww...
prickly heat - get a/c :p
price fixing - shop at walmart
moral decay - morals suck!
hotel fires - ill get the marshmellows
loss of face - "i eat his liver with some fava beans and a nice keonte 'hisshisshiss'"
stink bombs - inhale.
bubonic plague - kinky
neo-Nazis - hell if i know
friction - under the sheets?
cereal weevils - eh.
failure of will - jello.
chain reactions - like.. orgies?
soil erosion - what about sand??? my god think of the SAND!!
mail fraud - walmart.
dry rot - walmart.
voodoo curses - vodka.. lots of vodka
broken glass - lets jumproap
snake bites - bite back.
parasites - me??
white slavery - s&m?? mmm
public ridicule - emm.
faithless friends - luv em
random violence - YAY!
breach of contract - YAY!
family scandals - can you say "kenedy"
charlatans - they are so sexy.
transverse militias - like..?
structural defects - boom.
race riots - yeah.. the whites will fight!! just give us time
sun spots - tanning!
rogue elephants - kids are evil let em get trampled
wax buildup - in the ear?
killer frost - just another winter
jealous coworkers - get em fired
root canals - ahh the drugs!
mental fatigue - where am i?
corporal punishment - s&m..
sneak attacks - s&m..
peer pressure - here take this weed
vigilantes - yey!
birth defects - i dont like big ears either..
false advertising - shop at walmart
ungrateful children - shush
financial ruin - yey!!
mildew - snort it!
loss of priveleges - no sex?? :(
bad drugs - like.. viagra?
ill-fitting shoes - shoes suck.
widespread chaos - hehehe
stray bullets - zzzzzzzzzzooom
runaway trains - choochoo
chemical spills - *gargle*
locusts - chocolate dipped?
airline food - i only consume starbucks on airplanes.
shipwrecks - gold!!
prowlers - shhh
bathtub accidents - slipery arses.
faulty merchandise - walmart!
terrorism - walmart!
discrimination - walmart!
wrongful cremation - costco!
carbon deposits - dunken dohnuts?
beef tapeworms - omg i jast had steak..
taxation without representation - haha
escaped maniacs - JELLO
sunburn - crisco
abandonment - walmart toilets
threatening letters - did the post man get it to where it was being sent, or did he write it?
entropy - em.
nine-mile fever - paris hilton
poor workmanship - walmart!
absentee landlord - ghetto!
solitary confinement - s&m!
depletion of the ozone layer - we still have U2..
unworthiness - yay!!
intestinal bleeding - "drip"
defrocked priests - shh
loss of equilibrium - Jello
disgruntled employees - FEDEX!
global warming - organic saunas
card sharks - moo
poisoned meat - moo?
nuclear accidents - ill get the charcol
broken promises - sharpened knives.
contamination of the water supply - beer!
obscene phone calls - oh shut up you love when i call you
nuclear winter - YAY!
wayward girls - with herpes..
mutual assured destruction - jelloo
rampaging moose - EAT MOR MOOSE
the greenhouse effect - dumdumdummmm
cluster headaches - tylenol~!!~!
social isolation - weed!
Dutch elm disease - campfires!
contraction of the universe - martha stewart
paper cuts - coool
eternal damnation - weed!
the wrath of God - which one?

And PARANOIA! - EKK THEY"RE BEHIND ME!!

you forgot republicans and rioters
And Democrats, liberals, and Hillary. :D Oh sorry, she is all of the above. :)

You know you liked it.

As would we all.

yes.. but isnt she sexy?

Ingrown toe nails, that's also bad.

and self-taxidermy. have you ever wondered why i can't move my left arm?

na, just kiddin' i can move my left arm.

Here is a list of things to watch out for. Just to keep you alert. :)

anal rape
quicksand
body lice
evil spirits
gridlock
acid rain
continental drift
labor violence
flash floods
rabies
torture
bad luck
calcium deficiency
falling rocks
cattle stampedes
bank failure
evil neighbors
killer bees
organ rejection
lynching
toxic waste
unstable dynamite
religious fanatics
prickly heat
price fixing
moral decay
hotel fires
loss of face
stink bombs
bubonic plague
neo-Nazis
friction
cereal weevils
failure of will
chain reactions
soil erosion
mail fraud
dry rot
voodoo curses
broken glass
snake bites
parasites
white slavery
public ridicule
faithless friends
random violence
breach of contract
family scandals
charlatans
transverse militias
structural defects
race riots
sun spots
rogue elephants
wax buildup
killer frost
jealous coworkers
root canals
mental fatigue
corporal punishment
sneak attacks
peer pressure
vigilantes
birth defects
false advertising
ungrateful children
financial ruin
mildew
loss of priveleges
bad drugs
ill-fitting shoes
widespread chaos
stray bullets
runaway trains
chemical spills
locusts
airline food
shipwrecks
prowlers
bathtub accidents
faulty merchandise
terrorism
discrimination
wrongful cremation
carbon deposits
beef tapeworms
taxation without representation
escaped maniacs
sunburn
abandonment
threatening letters
entropy
nine-mile fever
poor workmanship
absentee landlord
solitary confinement
depletion of the ozone layer
unworthiness
intestinal bleeding
defrocked priests
loss of equilibrium
disgruntled employees
global warming
card sharks
poisoned meat
nuclear accidents
broken promises
contamination of the water supply
obscene phone calls
nuclear winter
wayward girls
mutual assured destruction
rampaging moose
the greenhouse effect
cluster headaches
social isolation
Dutch elm disease
contraction of the universe
paper cuts
eternal damnation
the wrath of God

And PARANOIA!

((by George Carlin))

Oh. Great. Just great. Now you tell me.

don't forget the system admins at work, uni or school.
nothing more scary or dangerous than those freaks :gundge:

Ummm....anal rape.

Wait doesnt it hurt?

Here is a list of things to watch out for. Just to keep you alert. :)

< snippage >

((by George Carlin))
Now why the hell can't we substitute "Long-ass posts by demented NS General posters" for "Wayward Girls?" Tsk! :D

Ummm....anal rape.

Wait doesnt it hurt?
If it's anything at all like having your prostate biopsied it does! :eek:

Now why the hell can't we substitute "Long-ass posts by demented NS General posters" for "Wayward Girls?" Tsk! :D

Because the last thing I want is for people to be forewarned about me. :)

What's wrong with anal rape and airline food?

It disturbs the other passengers

Dammit, this thread is a crock!


Ive been looking for an anal rape all night now, and I havent seen one yet!

Ive got all this popcorn, and a big foam finger-thingie, and a helmet in wich can be placed two cans of beer....now there had better be a damn anal rape, so I can use these things.

You made it sound like you cant hardly swing a dead cat without seeing an anal rape!

Criminy!

Dammit, this thread is a crock!


Ive been looking for an anal rape all night now, and I havent seen one yet!

Ive got all this popcorn, and a big foam finger-thingie, and a helmet in wich can be placed two cans of beer....now there had better be a damn anal rape, so I can use these things.

You made it sound like you cant hardly swing a dead cat without seeing an anal rape!

Criminy!

Maybe it's a matter of geography. Perhaps you're in a 'cereal weevils' zone.

What about country music? It is something that must be avoided at all costs!

Because the last thing I want is for people to be forewarned about me. :)
LOL! Well, I personally think you should be barcoded so we can keep track of you, just like any other "terrorist!" :D

What about country music? It is something that must be avoided at all costs!
And rap and hiphop! Don't forget those! :D

And rap and hiphop! Don't forget those! :D

But with country music you get those twangy voices and music that makes you want to scream! :eek:

I don't listen to much rap/hiphop anyway, more of a rock fan myself. :)

don't forget glass doors.

ow! :mad: :rolleyes:

LOL! Well, I personally think you should be barcoded so we can keep track of you, just like any other "terrorist!" :D

Can I decide where on my body the barcode goes? :p