NationStates Jolt Archive

I Got The Adultery Decision Thingy this morning. So, im wondering. What do you think of Adultery? (Poll Coming Up As Well)

I Got The Adultery Decision Thingy this morning. So, im wondering. What do you think of Adultery? (Poll Coming Up As Well)

it doesn't really say much about your marriage if you have to go outside it to satisfy your needs,be they emotional or phsyical.hmmm,would swinging fall under the banner of adultery?

I Got The Adultery Decision Thingy this morning. just tell your Husband/Wife/BF/GF that you want a break. BEFORE you get shagged

Wrong. Violation of the marriage contract. Betrayal. Selfish. Disgusting.

just tell your Husband/Wife/BF/GF that you want a break.

NO NO NO! I mean the NS delimma thing

It may not be right, but people still have free will

NO NO NO! I mean the NS delimma thingWTF are you talking about?

WTF are you talking about?

you know, you go to your country page, then it has the amount of delimmas in front of (country name here) parilament or something like that. then you decide what you want to do. remeber?

you know, you go to your country page, then it has the amount of delimmas in front of (country name here) parilament or something like that. then you decide what you want to do. remeber?
YOU $/"%$%?¢¬¤£¢³²¬¼³²* !!!!

what are the 3 options? :D

please pardon my ignorance but what is swinging?

I Got The Adultery Decision Thingy this morning. So, im wondering. What do you think of Adultery? (Poll Coming Up As Well)

From a government point of view:
It's the persons own buisness whether or not they commit adultery. However, if the partner does not like it I consider it fair grounds for a legal divorce. It is after all a breach of contract.

My personal view:
I would like my partner to be honest about it. I will most likely not be willing to share her (though not 100% certain on that since i've never been in the position where i had to choose).

Doing it *secretly* is more than enough reason to dump her. Without trust there is nothing.

please pardon my ignorance but what is swinging?
Both partners have sex with other people, and they know this of eachother. Often it involves two couples exchanging partners for a night.

This is one of those polls that should have been multiple choice...

Adultery is the most normal thing in the world. Jumping up and down screaming blue murder won't make it go away.

the three choices are to illegalize it and have anyone who do's it to get a stoning (NOT WEED! People throw stones at them!), just send anyone who does it to jail, and allow it. Swinging is when you and your spouse/partner allow eachother to have sex with other people

Here's the thing. Adultery does fall under the realm of privacy, but I suppose a spouse could argue that a violation of the marriage contract occurred, which could result in some sort of civil action taken against the offender. That often happens during divorce proceedings, especially if there was something specific agreed upon (like a pre-nuptial agreement) before the ceremony.

I didn't vote as none of the options are quite right (though some are completely wrong.)

As long as all parties consent, it's not a problem.

Swinging is consentual sex with people other than your spouse/significant other.

WTF is adultery?
sorry I just don't know (My mothertongue isn't English)

I am against it if there are children involved.

Many say "What about the child who has to grow up with two people who make eachother unhappy?"

Marriage is not about getting another person so you can be happy. And what a horrible burden to place on your spouse, "I'm not happy, and its your fault!"
Bullshit.

Otherwise, I think it is dishonest, but I can't make a good case against that at the moment.

WTF is adultery?
sorry I just don't know (My mothertongue isn't English)

When a spouse sleeps with another person who is not their spouse.

I voted I don't care. I feel if you're going to cheat on your SO, then do it. I see no reason to keep my word to a woman.

When a spouse sleeps with another person who is not their spouse.
In that case, it partly depends on the situation. But I'm against making laws against this, that would just make things worse.

I feel it's horribly wrong. Oathbreaking, betrayal of trust, etc.
I voted I don't care. I feel if you're going to cheat on your SO, then do it. I see no reason to keep my word to a woman. Um, okay… out of curiousity… would you keep your word to a man?

I Got The Adultery Decision Thingy this morning. So, im wondering. What do you think of Adultery? (Poll Coming Up As Well)
The poll should have allowed you to make more than one choice.

A marriage can remain perfectly healthy if a partner has sexual relations with others. The most important thing to do is to be honest and not try to hide it. Sex is not a required part of marriage, to many it's nothing more than a pleasurable activity. In the past, men would have mistresses and it wouldn't have any negative impact on the relationship with their wives. You can desire someone sexually and nothing more. Husbands and wives used to realize that, and extramarital sex wasn't an issue.

Nowadays, everyone is worried that if their partner has sex with someone else, it will create an emotional bond and the relationship will suffer as a result.

A marriage can remain perfectly healthy if a partner has sexual relations with others. The most important thing to do is to be honest and not try to hide it. Sex is not a required part of marriage, to many it's nothing more than a pleasurable activity. In the past, men would have mistresses and it wouldn't have any negative impact on the relationship with their wives. You can desire someone sexually and nothing more. Husbands and wives used to realize that, and extramarital sex wasn't an issue.

Nowadays, everyone is worried that if their partner has sex with someone else, it will create an emotional bond and the relationship will suffer as a result. Well when you're married, you're supposed to only want your spouse. If you have relations with others, it implies you think they're not good enough.

I feel it's horribly wrong. Oathbreaking, betrayal of trust, etc.
Um, okay… out of curiousity… would you keep your word to a man?Well to be honest, I never felt the need to break my word to a woman...I mean, it would simply mean I wasn't paying her. ;)

Personally, I don't have a problem with it. I'm not married or in any close relationship, so why would I?

Love takes as many forms as there are people on the planet. Yes, people can love more than one person. Same as they can be loved by more than one person.
I've seen open relationships that worked fantastically and others that failed miserably. And I've seen more or less the same in traditional relationships. So, I think people ought to be honest about their feelings, at least to themselves if to noone else, and do what they think is best for their relationship.

Well to be honest, I never felt the need to break my word to a woman...I mean, it would simply mean I wasn't paying her. ;) *backs off slowly*

The state has no business doing anything to prevent adultery. To pass laws restricting it would be in violation of people's right to autonomy over their own bodies.

Well when you're married, you're supposed to only want your spouse. If you have relations with others, it implies you think they're not good enough.

"Not good enough"? No, I don't think it implies that.

The state has no business doing anything to prevent adultery. To pass laws restricting it would be in violation of people's right to autonomy over their own bodies. You could sidle past that if you looked at it as "oathbreaking".
"Not good enough"? No, I don't think it implies that. Adultery being when it's not in line with the other partner's wishes. It is basically cheating on them.

Well when you're married, you're supposed to only want your spouse. If you have relations with others, it implies you think they're not good enough.

Wanting someone else sexually is only a problem if you and your partner make it one. If neither of you are offended that someone else is better suited for the job, then you have nothing to worry about. The marriage doesn't have to suffer, your love can still be as strong as ever. Jealousy, unfortunately, is a major problem nowadays. Sexual jealousy is actually a natural instinct for the purpose of keeping your own genes in the gene pool and for your partner to care for the offspring you have together. Both can be overcome with relative ease for some people.

A marriage can remain perfectly healthy if a partner has sexual relations with others. The most important thing to do is to be honest and not try to hide it. Sex is not a required part of marriage, to many it's nothing more than a pleasurable activity. In the past, men would have mistresses and it wouldn't have any negative impact on the relationship with their wives. You can desire someone sexually and nothing more. Husbands and wives used to realize that, and extramarital sex wasn't an issue.

Nowadays, everyone is worried that if their partner has sex with someone else, it will create an emotional bond and the relationship will suffer as a result.
I will agree with you. Historically, it has been shown that men have a stronger sex drive than women, so a mistress was a means to keep the husband occupied with sex so the wife could go about the business of more important things, like running the household and managing life in general.

I don't mean for that to sound sexist. People don't get married just to have a dedicated sex partner. It's about sharing a life. There may be plenty of people one could trust enough to sleep with, but not everyone qualifies for trust with one's checkbook.

Adultery, at the very least, is a breech of contract.

The spouse who has been cheated on should be able to sue for damages and emotional distress caused by their unfaithful spouse.

~Emotional Distress
~Exposure to Disease
~ Loss of faithful companionship as promised by the marriage vows of the spouse who cheated…
~Pregnancy outside of your home (loss of income because your spouse now has to pay child support to someone else, then your home income suffers).
~Pregnancy inside your home (all the financial responsibilities of raising a child that you had no say in [assuming you didn’t leave your spouse]).
~ Loss of living standards (divorcee’s statistically live at a lower household income level than they had before their divorces)…

And the penalty should fit the damages done.

Even just making adultery a criminal offense, a legal punishment etc., could be a good thing, make it against the law to discourage the practice in the community as a whole.

*snip*

Solution? Be open about your views on extramarital sex before exchanging those vows. If you don't, it's possible that your partner might feel hurt and betrayed - and you could be facing a fat, ugly lawsuit.

[QUOTE=Ph33rdom]*snip*QUOTE]

Solution? Be open about your views on extramarital sex before exchanging those vows. If you don't, it's possible that your partner might feel hurt and betrayed.
Ph33rdom: "Oh, by the way, are you gonna commit adultery?"
Fiancée: "Don't think so…"
Ph33rdom: "Right, good."

It's a henious crime against your significant other.

But I'm not too sure about criminalising it.. if I get caught having sex in public - is the police supposed to check if either of us are married, and if so... whom with?
There goes our privacy innit (yes - I agree.. having sex in public and I'm complaining about privacy, but the setting isn't really important. :p).

As I said before, I'd liked to have clicked on several of these options. If you take adultery as the strict definition of sex outside of an existing marriage, then I'm not guilty of it. I have, however, been in a situation that was rather similar, and while I think it isn't right, sometimes avoiding it is a mistake too.

Ph33rdom: "Oh, by the way, are you gonna commit adultery?"
Fiancée: "Don't think so…"
Ph33rdom: "Right, good."

Not quite. Just ask how they feel about extramarital sex and if it would cause them to be jealous and/or hurt, and if they realize and agree that sex is unnecessary for love to exist.

Not quite. Just ask how they feel about extramarital sex and if it would cause them to be jealous and/or hurt, or if they realize and agree that sex is unnecessary for love to exist. Of course it's unnecessary for love to exist; however, married couples are supposed to share everything and be happy with each other. However, marriage often doesn't really mean much now. :(

Of course it's unnecessary for love to exist; however, married couples are supposed to share everything and be happy with each other. However, marriage often doesn't really mean much now. :(

You can still share everything and be happy with eachother. So what if you think they're horrible in the sack and need to satisfy your sexual desires with someone else? As long as your partner is fine with it. Below are lyrics (http://www.darklyrics.com/lyrics/tiamat/prey.html#3) to a song that I'm ironically listening to.

Lead me inside
Lead me inside
Lead me inside out of the cold
Let me inside
Feel me inside
When the seed is sown
Our love's dead by dawn

As opposed to marriage, where love is supposedly eternal. Sex ends with the coming of dawn. The two can't be compared.

You can still share everything and be happy with eachother. So what if you think they're horrible in the sack and need to satisfy your sexual desires with someone else? As long as your partner is fine with it. Below are lyrics (http://www.darklyrics.com/lyrics/tiamat/prey.html#3) to a song that I'm ironically listening to.

Lead me inside
Lead me inside
Lead me inside out of the cold
Let me inside
Feel me inside
When the seed is sown
Our love's dead by dawn

As opposed to marriage, where love is supposedly eternal. Sex ends with the coming of dawn. The two can't be compared. The problem is that it is inextricably linked with emotion. That's one reason for consent laws being 16, not 13.

The problem is that it is inextricably linked with emotion. That's one reason for consent laws being 16, not 13.

That's where you're wrong. For instance, when you're dancing at a club with a stunningly beautiful woman. You probably find her extremely attractive sexually, but know virtually nothing about her and an emotional bond is nonexistent. Say she finds you irresistibly handsome and wants to fuck your brains out. You agree. You have wild, hot sex all night long. Hey, she's mighty good in bed. Maybe you'll hook up with her again. Are you going to ditch your wife just because your newfound sex partner is superior in the sack? Doubtful. If you seriously consider it, you shouldn't have gotten married in the first place.

please pardon my ignorance but what is swinging?

Swining is when a group of couples get together and have sex with each other. I don't think I could get into that and I know my wfie wouldn't.

If there are children involved in the marriage and the cheating results in a divorce or a miserable parent who then become a less attentative parent to the children, etc., etc., etc. Perhaps the children should be able to sue the unfaithful parent as well, for causing damages in their lives caused by the contract breaking, cheating parent?

*thinks for a minute longer*

Decides yes, children should be able to sue their parents who cheat on their spouses because really, they are cheating on the entire home/family unit.

I don't think it's right. People have free will, but It's a violation of the agreements made at marrage, and therefore not right.

Nowadays, everyone is worried that if their partner has sex with someone else, it will create an emotional bond and the relationship will suffer as a result.

What about suffering from STD?

What about suffering from STD?

I was wondering when someone would comment on STD's. Hey, that's a risk you take, and another reason why your partner should knowingly accept your extramarital behavior. Two ideas that pop into mind - one, no sex with your partner. Two, find a mistress that will have sex only with you and you with her. (and maybe you're wife too)