NationStates Jolt Archive

I'm trying to find some really good quotes, pretty much from anywhere. except france. If you have a favorite quote that you've read/heard, I'm interested :) .



I personally like the Presidents speech from Independence Day:


The President: Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in this history of mankind.

Mankind -- that word should have new meaning for all of us today.

We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore.

We will be united in our common interests.

Perhaps its fate that today is the 4th of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom, not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution -- but from annihilation.

We're fighting for our right to live, to exist.

And should we win the day, the 4th of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day when the world declared in one voice:


"We will not go quietly into the night!

We will not vanish without a fight!

We're going to live on!

We're going to survive!"


Today, we celebrate our Independence Day!


*does dance*

the greatest quotes are funny

Proverbs usually read just as well backwards, or jumbled up
Frank Sullivan
the pen is mightier than the sword, and cosiderably easier to write with
Marty Feldman
never serve rabbit stew before you catch the rabbit
James Thurber
beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone
Dorothy Parker
the early bird gets the worm, but look what happens to the early worm
Alfred E Newman
the early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
Jon Hammond
a bird in the hand can be messy
Peter Darbo
a bird in the hand is dead
Rhonda Boozer
a bird in the bed is worth two in the bushes
Lambert Jeffries
a hair in the head is worth two in the brush
Milton Berle
never judge a book by its cover price
Fran Lebowitz
theres no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting
David Letterman
it is easier for the camel to pass through the eye of the needle if it is lightly greased
John Nesvig
when the cats away, chances are hes been run over
Michael Saunders
comedy is 90% persperation and 10% agents fees
Wayne Cotter
in the country of the blind the one eyed man has difficulty finding a good optician
Maxim Decharne
properly organized even crime pays
Jim Fisk & Robert Barron
crime does not pay as well as politics
Alfred E Neuman
make crime pay, become a lawyer
Will Rogers
do unto others... then run
Benny Hill
forgive your enemies, but remember their names
John F Kennedy
the future isnt as far away as it used to be
Dale Marshall
if god had intended us to be nudists, we would have been born with no clothes on
Leonard Lyons
history repeats itself, historians repeat eachother
Phillip Guedalla
a journey of a thousand miles begins with a delay of three hours
Milton Berle
Know thyself, if you need help, call the CIA
Mort Sahl
he who laughs last didnt get it
Helen Giangregorio
Life begins at forty but so does athritis and the happit of telling the same story three times to the same person
Sam Levenson
it is better to have loved and lost than to of paid for it and not liked it
Hiram Kasten
the fastest way to a mans heart is through his chest
Roseanne Barr
a penny saved is a penny
Donald R Woods
Never put off until tomorrow what can be avoided altogether
Ann Landers
if at first you dont succeed, do it the way your wife told you to
Yvonne Knepper
if at first you dont succeed, pretend you wern't trying
Mitch Murray
behind every succsessful man is a woman. behind her is his wife
Groucho Marx
i think, therefore i am single
Liz Winston
time flies like an arrow. fruit flies like a banana
Groucho Marx
Women: can't live with them, cant bury them in the back yard without the neighbours seeing
Sean Williamson
see a pin and pick it up and all day long you'll have a pin
Audrey Austin

i'd like to thank "the little book of twisted proverbs"

FECK OFF CUP! - Father Jack

The penis is faster than the sword - Schindler's List

"Anybody who sees and paints a sky green and pastures blue ought to be
sterilized." - Adolf Hitler

"I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly."
-Winston Churchill