NationStates Jolt Archive

To those who were traumatised by advice so bad it made your ears bleed the blood of puuuuuuuure evil. The thread that causes abortions in unwed fathers is back. Having relationship problems? Just discover your a man? Communist stole your soul? Caught with you pants down because you appointed your incompetant and underqualified friend, head of FEMA, resulting in the deaths of hundreds? Well pull up a chair and Ask Rotovia. I once took part of a Psych Course, so that makes me a Dr.

Remember, nobody loves you...

Rotovia makes no promises of correct speeling or grammar good.

What?

Having relationship problems? Just discover your a man? Communist stole your soul? Caught with you pants down because you appointed your incompetant and underqualified friend, head of FEMA, resulting in the deaths of hundreds?

I thought I told you to stop spying on me. :mad:

*cough*k*cough*

oy!
there's his massive spieder dangling above my desk, i won't go nearer to it than i must (in order to send this cry for help) and my flatmates are all either out or asleep.. HELP!

oy!
there's his massive spieder dangling above my desk, i won't go nearer to it than i must (in order to send this cry for help) and my flatmates are all either out or asleep.. HELP!
uh. panik! now! :p

I AM panicking! and know what? cuz of that i'm spreading bits of croissant al over the room and that is NOT good beuse
a) i hate cleaning but more imporantly
b) it makes me lose some of the croissant i wanted to EAT! :(

I AM panicking! and know what? cuz of that i'm spreading bits of croissant al over the room and that is NOT good beuse
a) i hate cleaning but more imporantly
b) it makes me lose some of the croissant i wanted to EAT! :(
...and the spider is watching you thinking 'mom was right. humans are weird'...

as long as it's not thinking "dad was right. the only way to uphold family honour when e freaked-out human is watching you is to attack it straight away and make for its croissants as well"

(good thinking that i'm already safely locken in the bathroom, btw)

as long as it's not thinking "dad was right. the only way to uphold family honour when e freaked-out human is watching you is to attack it straight away and make for its croissants as well"

(good thinking that i'm already safely locken in the bathroom, btw)
Awww... poor you! You know... sometimes having to work is a good thing... no spiders in my office ;)


...but unfortunately no croissants, either :(

... sometimes having to work is a good thing...

(

objection.


and as for the spiders..i could lend you some? if you were willing to pick them up, that is.
and the croissants.. i was about to offer yu one unti i fund they were all..ahem..gone. *suspiciouly looks over to other thread whether there are still any left*

objection.


and as for the spiders..i could lend you some? if you were willing to pick them up, that is.
and the croissants.. i was about to offer yu one unti i fund they were all..ahem..gone. *suspiciouly looks over to other thread whether there are still any left*
They're all gone?? What did you do with them? I saw you take a whole bunch!

well, stupid, i ate them! "bunch"... well.. i think it was, like, eight or somehting..that's not too bad..remembering i was in panic and therefore my metabolim sped up and..ahem..all the srious intellectual challenges here ..burns up calories like hell as well..ahem..see? tons of reasons why it's perfectly normal to eat - well, a little. or a little more. ahem.

well, stupid, i ate them! "bunch"... well.. i think it was, like, eight or somehting..that's not too bad..remembering i was in panic and therefore my metabolim sped up and..ahem..all the srious intellectual challenges here ..burns up calories like hell as well..ahem..see? tons of reasons why it's perfectly normal to eat - well, a little. or a little more. ahem.
what is this 'perfectly normal' you speak of? I have never heard of such a thing.
...but I do get the feeling that eating that many croissants, especially when in panic (shouldn't you be doing other things, like...say...running around, screaming and losing your head and such?), is at least somewhat unusual ;)

Isn't it supposed to be "Ask Rotovia...."?

Isn't it supposed to be "Ask Rotovia...."?
oh, so now you notice? :p

oh, so now you notice? :p
I just got up. :p

I just got up. :p
in that case you're excused :)

perfectly normal? that is..*looking around for an up-to-date picture of me but can't find one* well, let's see.. it goes something like this: having two differently-coloured eyes, only one hand, differently-sized feet, dreads, ebing gay+jewish (by birth but not by faith),having a knack for eating portions others would call sufficient for 4 people, ahving a bambus called arthur who is regularly talked to and a little platic turtle called schildkröte who's got a magnet unde her left foot and is carried verywhere

get the picture?

perfectly normal? that is..*looking around for an up-to-date picture of me but can't find one* well, let's see.. it goes something like this: having two differently-coloured eyes, only one hand, differently-sized feet, dreads, ebing gay+jewish (by birth but not by faith),having a knack for eating portions others would call sufficient for 4 people, ahving a bambus called arthur who is regularly talked to and a little platic turtle called schildkröte who's got a magnet unde her left foot and is carried verywhere

get the picture?
haha! i'd love to send you a copy of the picture i drew... it's hilarious! :D

by the way... great job naming your pet :p

Oh oh. I have a question.

Why is Alinania answering all the questions for Rotovia?

Oh oh. I have a question.

Why is Alinania answering all the questions for Rotovia?

Rotovia is a ventriloquist. That was an easy one.

Dr. Rotovia,
I just found out that I'm a man. For years, I thought I was a boy due to that weird piece of flesh between my legs, but I was never sure. All the girls laughed at me because I peed standing up without making a mess. I'm so confused

Sincerely,
Maybe I Shouldn't Have Snuck Into The Girls Bathroom

haha! i'd love to send you a copy of the picture i drew... it's hilarious!

by the way... great job naming your pet

oh, why don't you? i mean, scan it, and post it or telegram it or whatver - i want to see it! ;)

and: i know. i'm just good at those things. called my last cat katze. :p

Dear Doctor Rotovia,
Is there anyway I can have a tattoo removed? After a long socialable night at the tavern, I went to the tattoo parlour and asked the man for a tattoo of 'an anchor in a big pool,' due to my interest in the Navy. Yes, semen, subs and, eherm... where was I? Yes, well after several hours of pain I was provided with a mirror to inspect the artist's craft when I noticed, to my horror, that there was no anchor in a pool of water, nor anything even remotely resembling the nautical theme I had previously requested. Hurriedly, I turned and asked the propieter what was the meaning of this? I explained that I had asked for a tattoo of an anchor in a pool of water and instead I receieved a tattoo of John Howard and Eddy MacGuire. His explanation was that his latest ear ring had punctured both his ear drums and spleen in one fell swoop, allowing him to imagine I had asked for "A tattoo of a wanker and a tool."

oy!
there's his massive spieder dangling above my desk, i won't go nearer to it than i must (in order to send this cry for help) and my flatmates are all either out or asleep.. HELP!
Caress it's abdomin, smear peanut butter all over it and masterbate to a picture of George Bush.

It won't help your problem, but neither will sitting alone the dark cryinf.

Stop dancing your quarters and take up communism.

I AM panicking! and know what? cuz of that i'm spreading bits of croissant al over the room and that is NOT good beuse
a) i hate cleaning but more imporantly
b) it makes me lose some of the croissant i wanted to EAT! :(
Firstly you are gay. Until you admit that... NO CROSSIANT FOR YOU!!! What's that? You're not into men? You don't like it in the butt? Get over it! We all have to make sacrifices in order for me never to be wrong about anything.

Secondly, if you didn't have a floor you wouldn't need to clean it. Burn down your house.

*shakes head slowly*
shame on you for attempting to emulate the real, true, first advice thread on general the general forum. the poster , i dare not speak the name, but i can assure you, she was and always will be the greatest of all time. you should at least credit her, even though your answers are no where as hideous, hilarious and heinous as hers were.

Oh oh. I have a question.

Why is Alinania answering all the questions for Rotovia?
Because Aliania is a lying communist.

Dr. Rotovia,
I just found out that I'm a man. For years, I thought I was a boy due to that weird piece of flesh between my legs, but I was never sure. All the girls laughed at me because I peed standing up without making a mess. I'm so confused

Sincerely,
Maybe I Shouldn't Have Snuck Into The Girls Bathroom
You clearly have bowel cancer. I reccomend moving to a warmer climate... such as the sun.

Dear Doctor Rotovia,
Is there anyway I can have a tattoo removed? After a long socialable night at the tavern, I went to the tattoo parlour and asked the man for a tattoo of 'an anchor in a big pool,' due to my interest in the Navy. Yes, semen, subs and, eherm... where was I? Yes, well after several hours of pain I was provided with a mirror to inspect the artist's craft when I noticed, to my horror, that there was no anchor in a pool of water, nor anything even remotely resembling the nautical theme I had previously requested. Hurriedly, I turned and asked the propieter what was the meaning of this? I explained that I had asked for a tattoo of an anchor in a pool of water and instead I receieved a tattoo of John Howard and Eddy MacGuire. His explanation was that his latest ear ring had punctured both his ear drums and spleen in one fell swoop, allowing him to imagine I had asked for "A tattoo of a wanker and a tool."
You're a darn dirty liar and you know it. You clearly wanted a picture of our great and elfish Prime Minister to attract the chicks... the ugly right wing chicks at least. As for Eddi MacGuire, due to current legal proceedings all I can say is he molested himself...

*shakes head slowly*
shame on you for attempting to emulate the real, true, first advice thread on general the general forum. the poster , i dare not speak the name, but i can assure you, she was and always will be the greatest of all time. you should at least credit her, even though your answers are no where as hideous, hilarious and heinous as hers were.
Pfft. A pox on her. Ask Rotovia (Bad Advice Thread)s have been pulluting the forums since June 2003. So I credit noone except God, who speaks to me and tells me to burn things and put small animals in blenders...

What Jeebaz? Kill CC...? With a spoon...?

*shakes head slowly*
shame on you for attempting to emulate the real, true, first advice thread on general the general forum. the poster , i dare not speak the name, but i can assure you, she was and always will be the greatest of all time. you should at least credit her, even though your answers are no where as hideous, hilarious and heinous as hers were.
just to remind you, and set your glaring inconsistencies out for the world.
:)
have a great day.

removed: pending Mod reveiw

CC, as much as I love you. Which is substancially little. I must ask that you die like the dog you are. Iregardless of how many times you refer to a thread of noname by a person of noname, it will not change the fact your best course of action is a large dose of ritalin and prozac to drown out those nasty voices.

Failing that, take a large q-tip and continue depressing into your ear until you hear a poping sound...
you should know by now , the highlited passage above is against the rules. i should report? or would you stop attempting to be funny?

you should know by now , the highlited passage above is against the rules. i should report? or would you stop attempting to be funny?
Oh blackmail. I suggest you report it. Dude, get a life.

rotovia-

Caress it's abdomin
-i tried, but then - oh, must have suqashed it *accidntally*

masterbate to a picture of George Bush
oh i just knew it was wrong to burn 'em all while dancing nakedly


take up communism.
again? does doing it twice help our cause? :confused:

Firstly you are gay. Until you admit that... NO CROSSIANT FOR YOU!!!
oh yes i know i am *happily reaches for more croissant*

What's that? You're not into men? You don't like it in the butt?
actually - neither. i guess that's why i qualify for "gay" ;)

Burn down your house
well i did last time *indicates above text concrning the bush pics*
but that wa sno help, now i'm stuck in this new house - but at least it's got cushioned walls and nice white-clad people one can talk to

CC, as much as I love you. Which is substancially little. I must ask that you die like the dog you are. Iregardless of how many times you refer to a thread of noname by a person of noname, it will not change the fact your best course of action is a large dose of ritalin and prozac to drown out those nasty voices.

Failing that, take a large q-tip and continue depressing into your ear until you hear a poping sound...

The fact that you deleted this post doesn't really take away from the fact that you said it; however, you did report this yourself, and have shown at least some regret in posting it, at least, in my opinion. I won't give you an official warning, but you'd damn well better change your debating style, because in the past few days, I've noticed a few posts by you insulting other people (Free Alabama was it?). You need to change the way you post, or the next time you are reported, or a post similar to this is seen, you will receive a warning. Am I clear?

The fact that you deleted this post doesn't really take away from the fact that you said it; however, you did report this yourself, and have shown at least some regret in posting it, at least, in my opinion. I won't give you an official warning, but you'd damn well better change your debating style, because in the past few days, I've noticed a few posts by you insulting other people (Free Alabama was it?). You need to change the way you post, or the next time you are reported, or a post similar to this is seen, you will receive a warning. Am I clear?
Crystal.

rotovia-


-i tried, but then - oh, must have suqashed it *accidntally*


oh i just knew it was wrong to burn 'em all while dancing nakedly



again? does doing it twice help our cause? :confused:


oh yes i know i am *happily reaches for more croissant*


actually - neither. i guess that's why i qualify for "gay" ;)


well i did last time *indicates above text concrning the bush pics*
but that wa sno help, now i'm stuck in this new house - but at least it's got cushioned walls and nice white-clad people one can talk to
Well you've got me stumped. Maybe you should marry a circus clown.

a) what does stumped mean? *too lazy to fetch dictionary from shelf*
b) if you checked the "pet peeve" thread sometime, you'll find that i'm absoluetely horrified by the mere thought of clowns. bad advice, then. but hey *checks thread name and finds to be totally on-topic*