NationStates Jolt Archive


The weirdest thing you've masturbated to...

Neo Kervoskia
08-09-2005, 23:55
What is the *read the title*?
I don't think this has been done before.
Soviet Haaregrad
08-09-2005, 23:56
This thread. :fluffle:
MoparRocks
08-09-2005, 23:56
monterey jack cheese, a "god bless america" t-shirt, and a spare tire.
Legless Pirates
08-09-2005, 23:57
Your mom :eek:
Mt-Tau
08-09-2005, 23:57
Hmm, good question... Let me get back to you on this.
Drunk commies deleted
08-09-2005, 23:57
Wilma Flintstone and Betty Rubble in my very stoned youth.
Secluded Islands
09-09-2005, 00:08
...THIS... (http://img201.imageshack.us/img201/7092/mmmmmmm3wo.jpg)
Neo Kervoskia
09-09-2005, 00:09
...THIS... (http://img201.imageshack.us/img201/7092/mmmmmmm3wo.jpg)
:eek:
Secluded Islands
09-09-2005, 00:12
:eek:

hey, we're all mammals...
Legless Pirates
09-09-2005, 00:13
hey, we're all mammals...
... So let's do it like they do on the discovery channel
Hyridian
09-09-2005, 00:13
Your mom :eek:

Really now? I guess we both like his mom. Nice to meet ya.
Secluded Islands
09-09-2005, 00:15
... So let's do it like they do on the discovery channel

thats the spirit! ;)...
GOLDDIRK
09-09-2005, 00:19
A scratch N Sniff Playboy/Hustler/Penthouse (who the heck knows) centerfold.



In Public...



at an african american family owned (with possible Mob connections) truck repair shop.

way back as far as 1977.
The South Islands
09-09-2005, 00:35
Richard Simmons.... :fluffle:
Legless Pirates
09-09-2005, 00:36
Myrth
Neo Kervoskia
09-09-2005, 00:38
Myrth
I knew that would come sooner or later.
Legless Pirates
09-09-2005, 00:41
I knew that would come sooner or later.
I was amazed that it hadn't been posted before.
Secluded Islands
09-09-2005, 00:44
Richard Simmons.... :fluffle:

ew...thats just...ew...
Vaitupu
09-09-2005, 00:46
I knew that would come sooner or later.
Welcome to gutter minds and bad puns
Orangians
09-09-2005, 00:47
What is the *read the title*?
I don't think this has been done before.


My reflection.

Last night: "Oh, me. ME! ME!"
Sumamba Buwhan
09-09-2005, 00:52
what haven't I masturbated to?
Economic Associates
09-09-2005, 00:54
what haven't I masturbated to?

George W. Bush?
Legless Pirates
09-09-2005, 00:55
what haven't I masturbated to?
Teletubbies? Shoelaces? Placentas?
Neo Kervoskia
09-09-2005, 00:57
Out of curioisty, has this been done before? If not, do I get points for originality?

poll coming
Sumamba Buwhan
09-09-2005, 01:02
George W. Bush?


I've masturbated with George W. Bush. He was too drunk and high on coke to get it up though.
Sumamba Buwhan
09-09-2005, 01:03
Teletubbies? Shoelaces? Placentas?

no comment - yep - no comment
Enma-Ou
09-09-2005, 01:04
-links deleted-
Zincite
09-09-2005, 01:06
I'm surprised this hasn't been shut down yet, but since I don't really want it to be, I will not mention the sdom except backwards.

Probably the weirdest, was not something I masturbated TO, but rather, something I thought about while I was masturbating but completely separately. Actually, the fact I do that at all is rather strange. Anyway, geometry.

Although, now I think of it, math is hot...

And kudos to the thread creator for knowing how to spell.
Imperialistic Imps
09-09-2005, 03:45
Weirdest thing Ive masturbated to.....Id have to say the time I masturbated toa George Foreman Grill Commercial while eatings Tostitos chips and Salsa.....my cat was watching too...so i guess pussy was involved..
New Fubaria
09-09-2005, 03:47
A playboy centerfold who's turnoffs included heavy metal...I put on a Judas Priest album and let her have it! :upyours:

:p
Zanato
09-09-2005, 03:47
Erm.. music. Sway, by Bic Runga. No images, no porn, just the music. Eyes closed. I don't know why, I wasn't even horny, it just felt right.
Vegas-Rex
09-09-2005, 03:51
Dungeons and Dragons monster descriptions.
New Fubaria
09-09-2005, 03:53
Dungeons and Dragons monster descriptions.
Succubus? Nereid? :p
Vegas-Rex
09-09-2005, 03:55
Succubus? Nereid? :p

Partially, but also just stuff with the constrict ability.
JuNii
09-09-2005, 04:01
weirdest thing...

a joke. :D seriously.


a stupid joke.



"A newlywed couple got married, the groom, a man-of-the-world and his shy, virginal wife.

Concerned about his new wife's inexperience about sex, he gave her this little rule to follow.

"any night that you want sex, pull my member once, and any night that you don't want sex...




pull it a hundred times."













I had to see if a hundred times was enough...



























and it wasn't...
Rotovia-
09-09-2005, 04:02
I'd post a link, but ti might get me deleted... ;)
Kroisistan
09-09-2005, 04:28
I'd post a link, but ti might get me deleted... ;)

You didn't.... Oh god please tell me he's not telling us he masturbated to one of the two pictures specifically banned by this site... Please...
Patra Caesar
09-09-2005, 04:49
The Sims
Lord-General Drache
09-09-2005, 07:19
You really don't want to know. *walks off*
Fass
09-09-2005, 07:27
A friend's sex-tape. He was hot...
Lord-General Drache
09-09-2005, 07:31
A friend's sex-tape. He was hot...

lol, that's pretty normal, Fass. :-p
Gartref
09-09-2005, 07:31
C-Span
Neaness
09-09-2005, 07:31
I get weird, random images in my head as I near the finish. So ... a nuclear family standing in front of a house, all dressed up like they're going to church or something.
Fass
09-09-2005, 07:32
lol, that's pretty normal, Fass. :-p

I didn't say what he was doing on the tape, did I?
Lord-General Drache
09-09-2005, 07:33
I didn't say what he was doing on the tape, did I?

Nope, but regardless, if someone feels it's safe enough to put on tape, chances are it's relatively normal. :-p

'Sides, it would be very unusual, only if you went to lengths that called for you to become a ninja to obtain the tape. Then I'd ask to hire you.
Fass
09-09-2005, 07:39
Nope, but regardless, if someone feels it's safe enough to put on tape, chances are it's relatively normal. :-p

Trust me - this was anything but normal. Have you heard of Arabian masturbation? It entails "fucking" your own urethra with a steel rod...

My hat did go off to him.

'Sides, it would be very unusual, only if you went to lengths that called for you to become a ninja to obtain the tape. Then I'd ask to hire you.

No need for such things. He gladly showed it.

Edited: Made less graphic and removed the raunchier parts.
Svalbardania
09-09-2005, 08:20
Wilma Flintstone and Betty Rubble in my very stoned youth.

Those chicks are hot...
Legless Pirates
09-09-2005, 09:56
You didn't.... Oh god please tell me he's not telling us he masturbated to one of the two pictures specifically banned by this site... Please...
Oh yeah.