NationStates Jolt Archive

I was watching a History Channel special on Biblical Disasters, and noticed how angry God was back then. Everything from blasphemy to conducting an incorrect census, he brought down the hammer. He seemed to completely ignore the fact that He gave humans free will, and that we would screw up from time to time. Yep...no compassion whatsoever. No sense of humor either. I'm willing to bet I'd have been smote'd by now for all the times I've made fun of St. Peter.

So why is it that with all the crap we have now, that God hasn't brought down the hammer again? I've theorised that He saw that the best way to go about things is to allow us to evolve naturally, without interference. I now have another theory: He went to anger management.

I can see it now...

God: Hi...my name is God, and I'm an anger addict...

Classmates: Hi God...

God: Bit, you'll be pleased to know that I've gone over 200 years without smoting anyone or destroying entire empires!

*applause*

Student: What happened 200 years ago?

God: You remember Napoleon's Empire?

Student: That was you?

God: Yeah, I gave him indigestion...Just because I was bored...

*disaproval*

God: That's when I realized I had a problem, and came here. *sniff* Thanks guys!

Classmates: Aww!

...I really hope God has developed a sense of humor over the centuries...I mean, I get made fun of all the time, but I don't destroy entire civilizations because of it!

Poor God. I've heard His dad used to hit Him :(

You make baby Jesus laugh out loud.

Poor God. I've heard His dad used to hit Him :(
But if he created the universe...who created him? You're right, his dad must've had a hand on it...

I was watching a History Channel special on Biblical Disasters, and noticed how angry God was back then. Everything from blasphemy to conducting an incorrect census, he brought down the hammer. He seemed to completely ignore the fact that He gave humans free will, and that we would screw up from time to time. Yep...no compassion whatsoever. No sense of humor either. I'm willing to bet I'd have been smote'd by now for all the times I've made fun of St. Peter.
God is a jealous God. You can trace all his anger back to people who are worshiping things instead of worshiping God.


btw Peter is from the new testament, so you wouldn't have known about him in old testament times to make fun of him, but God knew and you could argue that he would know that you would make fun of him and preemptivly smite you but that just gets silly.

But if he created the universe...who created him?...

Michael Eisner: Maybe he created himself...
Peter Griffin: Or herself...
Group: ahhhhh
Peter: That's right... think about that...

I submit that there exists a Family Guy quote for every situation.

I think that god spent millenia trying to get us on the right track to self-dependency before just doing nothing, but making people and deciding who to be his best friends and who to damn to burn in hell. Maybe we are just his little experiments that he loves enough to amite when we did bad until he felt confident enough that we can last until doomsday.