NationStates Jolt Archive

I am overruns with pillows. My bed has become a breeding ground. The white fluffy marshmallow-like demons have almost completely taken over. There is hardly room left for me in my own bed.

It all started ten years ago. Prior to that I had a simple existent, my pillow and I were friends. I had two - all that is necessary. Two beautiful down pillows which would cradle my head to sleep. The only trouble they ever gave me was 'bed head'. (I'm certain it is a nationwide conspiracy that could rival the 2000 election)

Then I met m beloved. She had a pillow problem. Her bed had at least a half dozen full sized pillows and even more of assorted smaller sizes. I thought the problem was her... I was so naive.

After the wedding it didn't take long before her pillows inter-bred with mine. Apparently within pillows polyster fiber is a dominant gene. The down was long bred from my pillows. I have only one - whose virtue I guard with zeal. I never leave it alone lest it be accosted by the low-breed polyester mongrels.

Meanwhile the polyester fiber nightmare gets worse. They breed and multiply by the day. Just yesterday I changed my bedding. I left our king sized bed with one down pillow and two of the others. Today, there are four of the monsters! I tremble thinking of tommorow. They are rallying their numbers, surrounding me in my sleep. My hair is their nightly victim, but I fear one night it will be worse. Much much worse...

Whenever I'm at this one friend's place, I have to remove a pile of cushions from every armchair and couch I sit on. It's ridiculous. How can she sit like that? She says it's comfy. No! :confused:

Awww I'm jelous I want lots of pillows :(

Peechland once suggested a body pillow to me. But I'm afraid it'll have sex with my normal pillow and that they'll leave stains.

Why does the basic idea of this thread give me a disturbing mental image?

I am overruns with pillows. My bed has become a breeding ground. The white fluffy marshmallow-like demons have almost completely taken over. There is hardly room left for me in my own bed.

It all started ten years ago. Prior to that I had a simple existent, my pillow and I were friends. I had two - all that is necessary. Two beautiful down pillows which would cradle my head to sleep. The only trouble they ever gave me was 'bed head'. (I'm certain it is a nationwide conspiracy that could rival the 2000 election)

Then I met m beloved. She had a pillow problem. Her bed had at least a half dozen full sized pillows and even more of assorted smaller sizes. I thought the problem was her... I was so naive.

After the wedding it didn't take long before her pillows inter-bred with mine. Apparently within pillows polyster fiber is a dominant gene. The down was long bred from my pillows. I have only one - whose virtue I guard with zeal. I never leave it alone lest it be accosted by the low-breed polyester mongrels.

Meanwhile the polyester fiber nightmare gets worse. They breed and multiply by the day. Just yesterday I changed my bedding. I left our king sized bed with one down pillow and two of the others. Today, there are four of the monsters! I tremble thinking of tommorow. They are rallying their numbers, surrounding me in my sleep. My hair is their nightly victim, but I fear one night it will be worse. Much much worse...



There is only one solution. Grab an Airsoft gun, strom in the room with a paintball mask and bulletproof vest, and shoot round after round at your bed til every fluffy demon goes back to hell.

Mostly I don't sleep with pillows, or just shove them up out of my way. I don't need pillows…

Peechland once suggested a body pillow to me. But I'm afraid it'll have sex with my normal pillow and that they'll leave stains.
If pillows give you bed-head - what do body pillows give you?

(shudder)

There is only one solution.

GIVE ME ALL THE PILLOWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There is only one solution. Grab an Airsoft gun, strom in the room with a paintball mask and bulletproof vest, and shoot round after round at your bed til every fluffy demon goes back to hell.
That sounds like a great plan. If I had any pillows I'd do it, just because I like shooting stuff. :p

GIVE ME ALL THE PILLOWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you mean after he's shot them all? Sure you can have their dead bodies if you really want to. I don't know too many people that like sleeping next to a dead pillow though.

That sounds like a great plan. If I had any pillows I'd do it, just because I like shooting stuff. :p


yeah me too! :mp5:

yeah me too! :mp5:
Great. Let's all go and shoot each other! *loads (registered) submachine gun*

Pillows ->[][][] :mp5: <- BOzzy

Burn them at the stake for the terrible monsters they are, and they will be banished to the gates of Hades ! (Make people pay to whach)

YAY SECOND PAGE

Seriously, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? You talk about pillows as though they were capable of being killed! Everybody knows that non-down pillows are EVIL and thus IMMORTAL!


WHY DO YOU PERSIST IN YOUR DELUSIONS!?!?!?!?!

There should be some sort of pillow rack with wheels that would make it possible to rest your head on the pillow, even as you get out of bed, make breakfast, take a shower and go to school/work. It would be great for those through-and-through dreary grey Mondays when you just want to lie there and never get up again.

They nest, and you're COMPLAINING?! Man, I can't get enough pillows. I'm 19 years old and I still sleep with like, billions of pillows in a great big pillow fortress upon my bed, with my giant teddy bear, and the soft soft blankets.......

http://www.woolmattresspad.com/images/pillow1.jpg

"Being married and being gay are very similar. If you wake up with fluffy pillows, you are either gay, or married."

Foxworthy

No! The pillows will forever last! The pillows are above all!

Heil Pillows! Pillows ueber alles!

I am overruns with pillows.

Talk to Sdaeriji, he has a pillow problem too.....

Pillows ->[][][] :mp5: <- BOzzy


LOL!

"Being married and being gay are very similar. If you wake up with fluffy pillows, you are either gay, or married."

Foxworthy


GASP! The HORROR! Then what happens with pillows in a gay marriage?? ACK!

That is the first sound argument against gay marriage I've seen! If it is true - it MUST be stopped! Forget about the children, think about the PILLOWS! Oh the humanities!

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http://images.polvi.net/albums/pillow-fight/2003_11_14_01_53_09.sized.jpg