NationStates Jolt Archive

My good friend and I were at Bumbershoot (a Seattle Music Festival) over the weekend. While listening to music we ran into two acquaintances of ours. We hung out with them for the first day of the festival and most of the second. During the night we couch surfed at my friend's ex-girlfriend's house. On the second night our acquaintances wanted to leave to go to a party to do some 'Shrooms... a party that I was clearly not invited to and a Party that my friend wanted to go to... So he ditched me. Right in the middle of downtown Seattle; territory that I'm not that familiar with, With no means of transportation, at night, in the inner-city... With his cell phone-- that happened to be dead...

I haven't talked to him/seen him for two days... What should I say when I see him?

Hell with it. Life's too short.

Hell with it. Life's too short.
For what? Falling asleep in a hospital waiting room because you have no other place to sleep?


**** He also had the pack that had my money

...

What in hell possessed you to let him take your money?

I would be very angry. If it was me, I would very seriously consider not being friends anymore. It's one thing to be forgiving, but keeping yourself around him is like asking for more disgusting treatment like this. I had a few friends (and boyfriends) when I was younger that did horrid things to me that I just let slide, and I regret it. You need to keep yourself safe by making sure the people you are around are trustworthy. There's no need to ask for things like this by keeping around friends who would ditch you in such an obscene manner. Don't hate, don't hang on to the anger, but also don't beg for the same again by staying.

"Don't be reckless with other peoples' hearts, and don't put up with people who are reckless with yours."
-Baz Luhrman


Don't take any crap from this guy. Anyone who cares that little about your wellbeing is not a friend. I once had a 'buddy' like that who wasted way too much of my time and my life. Trust me it's better to move on sooner than later.

i say never talk to him again...i ,ean do you reallly want to be friend with someone tho ditches you in the middel of know where.....

Personally I feel for the other guy. Meets up with two people he ain't seen in a while who invite him to a fun party, well why not? As transgressions go, it's entirely forgivable, it's not like he did it out of malice.

...

What in hell possessed you to let him take your money?
I didn't "Let" him do anything...

I turned around and they were gone.

If a friend did that to me, I'd deck them, and walk off. And I'm not one who's prone to violence, but that's just bloody ridiculous.

I suggest you tell them off, and never speak to them again. That's not a friend, at all.

Can I ask a dumb question??? Why were you not invited? That seems to me to be vital info before giving a response.

I didn't "Let" him do anything...

I turned around and they were gone.

Then how do you know he wasn't kidnapped?!! He could be dying in a gutter, man!

C'mon, if you know this much you must've had warning.

Can I ask a dumb question??? Why were you not invited? That seems to me to be vital info before giving a response.
...
1. I wasn't "Cool" enough... like I'm not the druggy type
2. I believe they were meeting up with some girls... and me being a girl would make it awkward... or something

Then how do you know he wasn't kidnapped?!! He could be dying in a gutter, man!

C'mon, if you know this much you must've had warning.
I had warning... And I/ expressed my concern... then he left.

Nope, I'm still on his side. His greatest crime appears to be assuming that you can take care of yourself. Certainly feel free to berate him if you must, but he did take you to the festival and get his ex to put you up for the night. He's obviously no freeloading S.O.B.

...
1. I wasn't "Cool" enough... like I'm not the druggy type
2. I believe they were meeting up with some girls... and me being a girl would make it awkward... or something

1. That does make you cool :D

i doubt you'd really be missing anything by continuing to be friends with someone who will ditch you for drugs and girls at the drop of a hat. what a ****. (i mean the guy, just to clarify)

and i'm totally jealous that you went to bumbershoot. that's all.

...
1. I wasn't "Cool" enough... like I'm not the druggy type
2. I believe they were meeting up with some girls... and me being a girl would make it awkward... or something

Ahh, that explains it, you're a girl and have expected that a young male would actually understand and care about how you feel. Trust me, very few do. Between ages 16 and 30 all we care about is whose pants we can get into. We may profess monogamy, but, let a hot chick undo her zipper and monogamy is the furthest thought from our mind (btw, I know what I'm saying, I'm a 45 year old male with 18 years of marriage under my belt)

Ditch the SOB and get your money back ASAP, You can try and tell him how you feel, but don't expect that he'll truly comprehend, no matter what he says.

Hmm rat bastard... the least he could have done is said goodbye and asked if you knew how to get home. Other than that, forgive him just don't let yourself be in the position where he can screw you over. He sounds like he's a fun guy and if he is there is no reason in depriving yourself of fun. Just realize that he is a flake and make your plans accordingly.

Nope, I'm still on his side. His greatest crime appears to be assuming that you can take care of yourself. Certainly feel free to berate him if you must, but he did take you to the festival and get his ex to put you up for the night. He's obviously no freeloading S.O.B.

Shit. I didn't want to turn this into a debate.

-His ex was also a friend of mine during high school.
-I took myself to the festival

Shit. I didn't want to turn this into a debate.

-His ex was also a friend of mine during high school.
-I took myself to the festival

Then why must he stay by your side for the duration? If you can take care of yourself then why feel insulted that he wanted to have some fun? Fun which you would have had no appreciation for.

Then why must he stay by your side for the duration? If you can take care of yourself then why feel insulted that he wanted to have some fun? Fun which you would have had no appreciation for.
He is/was my best friend. He's not supposed to run off when my back is turned, leaving me moneyless, 100 miles from home. I am a fully capable person, but still wandering around a big city alone in the middle of the night isn't a situation that you subject your friends to.

and i'm totally jealous that you went to bumbershoot. that's all.
It was a pretty awesome festival.

He is/was my best friend. He's not supposed to run off when my back is turned, leaving me moneyless, 100 miles from home. I am a fully capable person, but still wandering around a big city alone in the middle of the night isn't a situation that you subject your friends to.

It's still not worth getting yourself into a tizzy over, in my opinion. A lot of the people here may feel that his actions are grounds for immediate dismissal into the ranks of hated and despised for ever and ever but you can't live your life like that. He was tempted by the prospect of women, drugs and good times, most everyone male would be. As I said, berate him if you must but he could well be berating himself for carrying your money away. Just don't take it too far and don't launch into ultimatums. They never do any good.

He is/was my best friend. He's not supposed to run off when my back is turned, leaving me moneyless, 100 miles from home. I am a fully capable person, but still wandering around a big city alone in the middle of the night isn't a situation that you subject your friends to.

"was" should be the operant word here. He may be your best friend, but it is clear you are not his best friend. A "real" friend, even if deciding to go to the party without you, would have made sure you were OK before he left. He's off to get stoned and hopefully laid, he clearly could care less about you. Get you money back and tell him to kiss off.

...
1. I wasn't "Cool" enough... like I'm not the druggy type
2. I believe they were meeting up with some girls... and me being a girl would make it awkward... or something

2. Thats not awkward, thats hot :p

Anyway, if you haven't seen him for two whole days and he has your money... Well, if he's a really good friend, it should blow over, but you should still put him through a world of pain...

A world of pain.

http://www.public.iastate.edu/~samm/images/world_of_pain.jpg

It's still not worth getting yourself into a tizzy over, in my opinion. A lot of the people here may feel that his actions are grounds for immediate dismissal into the ranks of hated and despised for ever and ever but you can't live your life like that. He was tempted by the prospect of women, drugs and good times, most everyone male would be. As I said, berate him if you must but he could well be berating himself for carrying your money away. Just don't take it too far and don't launch into ultimatums. They never do any good.

He should have at least made sure it was okay with her...

He should have at least made sure it was okay with her...

Should yes, but everybody makes mistakes, especially in the kind of social situation he was in. It'd take a diplomat to get out without offending someone. He's no diplomat and Pencil 17 was offended. Surely you can't go from there to recommending he be despised and hated for life. That doesn't help anyone.

Should yes, but everybody makes mistakes, especially in the kind of social situation he was in. It'd take a diplomat to get out without offending someone. He's no diplomat and Pencil 17 was offended. Surely you can't go from there to recommending he be despised and hated for life. That doesn't help anyone.

No, I agree he doesn't deserve to be despised and hated for life...a good kick in the balls should suffice.

No, I agree he doesn't deserve to be despised and hated for life...a good kick in the balls should suffice.

Objection, your honor. Prosecution is sentencing the defendant.

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1. I wasn't "Cool" enough... like I'm not the druggy type

Oh yeah, by the way, they sound like dicks anyway. (And i'm an occasional drug user, so what does that tell you?)

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1. I wasn't "Cool" enough... like I'm not the druggy type
2. I believe they were meeting up with some girls... and me being a girl would make it awkward... or something

Well, this shows how dumb they are clearly. Nothing attracts girls more than having an attractive girl along. Morons.

Ditching is one thing, ditching someone in a strange city with no money and no working cell phone in the middle of nowhere is f-ing ridiculous. They owe you big time, and if they don't think it's a big deal to make it up to you, then they aren't friends at all. With friends like that, who needs enemies?

Punch him in the face.

Get your money back first, though.

Seriously, as everyone said, this person is worthless. Don't bother. The fact that you didn't want to do drugs and he did and he ditched you to go do it makes you superior to him anyway.

Objection, your honor. Prosecution is sentencing the defendant.

*kicks in the balls*

I'm the Inquisitor, damn it. I can do what I like. :D

*kicks in the balls*

I'm the Inquisitor, damn it. I can do what I like. :D

Goddamn Theocracies. There oughtta be a law against 'em.

My good friend and I were at Bumbershoot (a Seattle Music Festival) over the weekend. While listening to music we ran into two acquaintances of ours. We hung out with them for the first day of the festival and most of the second. During the night we couch surfed at my friend's ex-girlfriend's house. On the second night our acquaintances wanted to leave to go to a party to do some 'Shrooms... a party that I was clearly not invited to and a Party that my friend wanted to go to... So he ditched me. Right in the middle of downtown Seattle; territory that I'm not that familiar with, With no means of transportation, at night, in the inner-city... With his cell phone-- that happened to be dead...

I haven't talked to him/seen him for two days... What should I say when I see him?

You should tell him to fuck off.

Real friends dont treat people like that.

Period.

You should stand up for yourself, and not allow him to do it again, becuase like it or not, if a person sees that they can treat you like that, they will almost always do it again.

If he can sincerely apologize, then the next move is all yours, but for fuck sake, dont let him get away, without you letting him know exactly how you feel about it.

Goddamn Theocracies. There oughtta be a law against 'em.

Theocracy? I just use that title because it sounds cool, and it gives me an excuse to kick people.

Oh yah, and only accept his apology if he gives it first.

One vital piece of information-

Are you Intellectually whoring him?

If you arent familiar with the concept, just answer these questions:

1. Does he have a girlfriend? Why /not? Do you have a boyfriend?

2. Have you had a relationship of any sort? Does he want one?

3. Kinda like 2, are you interested in him? Why /not?

One vital piece of information-

Why is that vital? Who cares?

My good friend and I were at Bumbershoot (a Seattle Music Festival) over the weekend. While listening to music we ran into two acquaintances of ours. We hung out with them for the first day of the festival and most of the second. During the night we couch surfed at my friend's ex-girlfriend's house. On the second night our acquaintances wanted to leave to go to a party to do some 'Shrooms... a party that I was clearly not invited to and a Party that my friend wanted to go to... So he ditched me. Right in the middle of downtown Seattle; territory that I'm not that familiar with, With no means of transportation, at night, in the inner-city... With his cell phone-- that happened to be dead...

I haven't talked to him/seen him for two days... What should I say when I see him?

...seriously, perhaps I'm on a different wavelength here. But I don't understand why theres even a thought of ever needing to say anything to someone like that again at all, period.

Although I disagree with everything Blackfoot has been saying. Theres truth in there, some people ARE like that. And those people are NOT your friends.

Don't take this wrong, but how badly does someone have to treat you for you to stop talking to them? I've ended friendships over meaningless lies before. If someone can't be upfront and honest with me then I'm wasting my time trying to associate with them.

Friendships, like relationships, are built on trust. And I'm sure we all agree relationships can't work without trust. Why is a friendship treated differently?

Why is that vital? Who cares?

It will help explain his behavior.

It will help explain his behavior.

Nothing can explain being out of town with a friend and running off with their money leaving them stranded in the street at night.

Jeez and I felt obligated to go bail a friend out of jail knowing I would feel bad if I didn't no matter how much I hated the idea of going downtown after work. Now I feel like a saint.

Why is that vital? Who cares?

Well, it's vital in some peoples opinions. I've known girls who will treat their male "best friend" basically like a boyfriend, expect them to be there and be the "fun guy" that's always around, will put them first, won't go off to a party with his friends and "ditch them". - but not give them the emotional commitment.

I've known others who will treat their "best friend" like a best friend, expect all the same things, and then back off and give them space if they are interested in going out and finding a girl for the night.

Having said all that, it's not acceptable to leave a friend (male or female) in a situation they don't feel comfortable in, if they are there because of you. If they brought themselves along, and are capable of seeing themself home (which he might have thought you were), or are friends with the person, and he assumes you will stay there that night, it's entirely different to if he goes "see you" and vanishes, knowing you'll have to sleep in a hospital waiting room.

If a friend ever says to me "I need help" I will *always* drop everything and go help them, I can't see any other option. Which is probably why I'm the one woken at 3am and asked to drive out and jumpstart the cars.

Whatever happened to the casual friendship? Someone you like hanging around with and talking to but you would never trust with your bus fare, never mind your life. Why is it that all of a sudden everyone has to be either your closest bosom buddy or a hated enemy?

All this black and white, good and evil, knee-jerk stuff makes my teeth itch. She slipped his mind, considering the circumstances it was probably expected, if not forgivable by your standards. So don't trust him in those situations, fine. But why cut yourself off and hold that kind of grudge?

Life's too short.

Really need to talk to him before you make any real decisions. For all you know he thought you where still with them, lost track of you. Maybe even was trying to get ahold of you on the dead cell phone, thought you'd found your own way and decided to enjoy some 'shrums. Or, for all we know at this point bailed on the shrums and the girls and spent the night lookin' for you.

Who knows. You'd really have to talk to him to find out.

It will help explain his behavior.

Not really. If he were a true "intellectual whore", than he would be doting on her, correct?

Unless Pencil 17 is the "intellectual whore" in this instance.

Easy: Pop a cap in his ass.





Just kidding by the way. Seriously, don't do that.

Easy: Pop a cap in his ass.





Just kidding by the way. Seriously, don't do that.

Too late. They want blood, now. Blood by the gallons.

Not really. If he were a true "intellectual whore", than he would be doting on her, correct?

Unless Pencil 17 is the "intellectual whore" in this instance.

He could be a smart IW, by either trying to use dis-interest(to a bad extreme), or realizing that there was no chance for him to jump ladders, and that his time was better spent trying to get with girls that he is on the more than friends ladder with.

XD See, this is a fine example of something that sets men and women apart when it comes to a fight:

Women: Will call each other bad things, might slap, pull hair, kick, etc. Will remember it for another 20 years and plot how they will get back at them during that amount of time

Men: Will bitch, throw things. Might commit murder or battery, forget about it the next day and act like it pretty much never happened.

I have a 50/50 opinion on both sides. I don't think what this guy did to you was right at all. I mean why the hell would he leave you in a city like that, with no money, with no car, with no cell phone. What the hell? Does this jackass have any clue what happens to girls that are standing in the middle of a city in the middle of the night? It's not rocket science dude. It's the equivalent of putting a bareass naked guy in a prison cell that is completely tied up with Big Bubba or Tito. I know there are probably some very lonely guys in Seattle that would love to get their hands on a teenage girl. Let's all just leave our friends out to those perverts on the street just so we can pass our insulin syringes around the room and load up on heroin. Hell, the least he could have done if not watch over you is give you a handgun, taser, pepperspray, etc :mp5: . If he had any decency at all he would have passed up the time to pass a bong around with his friends to make sure you got home allright. :headbang: This kid should really be banging his head against the wall like this guy is doing. I would like to have the name, number, and address of this guy just so I could drive all the way from IN to WA and egg his house.

If he is truly someone that you consider a good friend though, Barren is right. Life is too short. In May, two of my fellow classmates of the Class of '07 were killed in a car accident. One of them was in a fight with her best friend and never had the chance to say she was sorry...