NationStates Jolt Archive

I was thinking...and I realised I don't have any career ideas for when I finish university. Zilch. I can't think of anything I want to do. So I came up with a list of real professions with commonly recognised traits, so I decided to make humor out of the situation and let other people dictate my goal in life, as we all do.

"Corrupt Bastard Cop"!

Harvey Keitel showed us all just how fun that can be.

Crack Whore. The pay is good and you can set your own hours. Also, there's an excellent 401k and Insurance package.

Bastard Cop all the way.

Crack Whore. The pay is good and you can set your own hours. Also, there's an excellent 401k and Insurance package.
Yeah, but i'll probably have to invest in some breast implants.

You should shoot birds down at the airport, or play a millionaire at parties.

Dole bludge.


But then I'm a New Zealander, so I WOULD say that :p

Yeah, but i'll probably have to invest in some breast implants.

Those come in the benefits package, but they aren't really necessary. How do you feel about wearing dirty t-shirts knotted up to your chest? Essential part of the uniform.

You should shoot birds down at the airport, or play a millionaire at parties.

Your suggestion has merit. Perhaps I could shoot down birds and have them land at millionaire parties?

Dole bludge.


But then I'm a New Zealander, so I WOULD say that :p

Hahahahaha :D

be an ambulance-chasing lawyer like me! :)

File ridiculous lawsuits for a living and live off the settlements.

I vote for boring business man.

Incompetent.
Not incompetent public servant or politician, just an incompetent. Can't be too hard, though the wages may not be great. However, go on some reality tv show, act like a total imbecile, then when back in real life sell your story and become a media whore. Works for so many.

Become a taxidermist purely for the benifit of being able to say "My work consists of stuffing beavers and pussys all day long, but nothing beats the satisfaction of finishing off a large moose" at every single party you ever go to for the rest of your life.

Those come in the benefits package, but they aren't really necessary. How do you feel about wearing dirty t-shirts knotted up to your chest? Essential part of the uniform.

I attempted to take a photo of me doing so, but then I realised I don't know how to tie the knot. Is that included in training?

be an ambulance-chasing lawyer like me! :)

http://www.lambrettagirl.com/lionel_hutz.gif


File ridiculous lawsuits for a living and live off the settlements.

Ooh, I like this one too. "Well sir, I step in front of cars, and I sue the drivers." [/simpsons quote] :D

Become a taxidermist purely for the benifit of being able to say "My work consists of stuffing beavers and pussys all day long, but nothing beats the satisfaction of finishing off a large moose" at every single party you ever go to for the rest of your life.

LOL!

The most popular choice is unfortunetly the one I picked, overweight and ugly pornstar. That is a group of people who serve a vital public service that is so often underrecognized and underappricatied, making people like me feel so much better about ourselves. I says, hats off to the ugly and overweight pornstars of the world.

Incompetent.
Not incompetent public servant or politician, just an incompetent. Can't be too hard, though the wages may not be great. However, go on some reality tv show, act like a total imbecile, then when back in real life sell your story and become a media whore. Works for so many.

That it does. I'm looking for something that sets me apart, though...ah, who am I trying to kid, no i'm not. :D

Become a taxidermist purely for the benifit of being able to say "My work consists of stuffing beavers and pussys all day long, but nothing beats the satisfaction of finishing off a large moose" at every single party you ever go to for the rest of your life.

Hmm. Or I could lie and just say I am one while collecting my dole cheque.

The most popular choice is unfortunetly the one I picked, overweight and ugly pornstar. That is a group of people who serve a vital public service that is so often underrecognized and underappricatied, making people like me feel so much better about ourselves. I says, hats off to the ugly and overweight pornstars of the world.

It's a double-charity service, really. I'll give the kids working at McDonalds a living too. :)

I thought Terminally stoned welfare recipient kinda fits the picture on your trophy hehe.

Chartered Account. It's a manly life.

Do you want to make more money?
Sure, we all do.
Did you know a good Ho can make up to 1500 dollars a week?
Thats right, 1500 dollars, without ever leaving the privacy of your own bedroom!
For more information, buy my book..

"Velvet Jones: I wanna be a Ho."

Or..my novel:

"Kicked in da butt by love."

Options!

I think its a toss-up between Research Neurochemist and Crack Whore. Although, with careful schedule management, you could do both.

I thought Terminally stoned welfare recipient kinda fits the picture on your trophy hehe.

Hehehehe...well, sortof...i'm not on welfare. :D

I think its a toss-up between Research Neurochemist and Crack Whore. Although, with careful schedule management, you could do both.

Both at the same time!

A mad scientist posing as a crack whore to lure victims...I like it!

Even better you can make crack, and have an army of crack whores that willl take over the world

How about a self destructive, incompetent, deranged, terminally stoned, corrupt, ugly and overweight corporate executive without-a-clue™? Best of all worlds!

Obviously, in your spare time you would pose as a number of different NationStates moderators, but I think that's just common sense.

i say self destructive rockstar, just what i wanna be!

How about a self destructive, incompetent, deranged, terminally stoned, corrupt, ugly and overweight corporate executive without-a-clue™? Best of all worlds!

The CEO of Halliburton! :eek:

Screw all those jobs! Become an Uruk-Hai!

Corrupt/incompotent civil servant. Assuming you can pass a civil service test (which, if you can read and type and somehow find your way onto the internets [which I assume you can as you made this poll] you are overqualified) you can never, ever be removed, not even with tactical nuclear weapons. And, as an added bonus, you can be as corrupt, ill-mannered, incompotent or drunk as you like, and no one will care or notice.

be a bin man be a bin man!!!!!best job ever

Wannabe deranged, evil SNES RPG villain! Walk around all day laughing evilly, grinning maniacally, and announcing your terribly evil plans for world domination. You can also go one step further by randomly jumping around in circles shouting "I'm evil! I'm evil! EVIL!!!" and then giggle hysterically.

Terminally Stoned Welfare Recipient. Someone's gotta do it.

An assassian who kills using only his elbows.

Hehehehe...well, sortof...i'm not on welfare. :D



Both at the same time!

A mad scientist posing as a crack whore to lure victims...I like it!

"Do you want Bart to be the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, or a sleazy male stripper?"

"Can't he be both like the late Earl Warren?"

"Earl Warren wasn't a stripper!"

"Now who's being naive?"

Screw all those jobs! Become an Uruk-Hai!

I looked into becoming an Uruk-Hai, and the licensing requirements in my State are substantial.

You have to a four-year accredited degree in Sacking, Pillaging, or a related field. Some states allow you to get a certification with a 2 year "Disfigured Scowling" technical program combined with not less than 200 hours of Elf/Human Slaughtering, in any proportion, so long as the number of Elves killed is not less than 50.

I figured with all that work, might as well go to grad school and become an "Evil Powermad Wizard Who Has Turned from a Lifetime of Service to Humanity to Become a Crazy Eyed Thrall of the Dark One". UNLV has a great PhD program for that.

Be a villian on one of those animes that never ends.

That or you could attend Bill Gates' funereal when they're handing out the wads of hundreds.

How about just deranged? I can't think of a profession that doesn't fit into.

I was thinking...and I realised I don't have any career ideas for when I finish university. Zilch. I can't think of anything I want to do. So I came up with a list of real professions with commonly recognised traits, so I decided to make humor out of the situation and let other people dictate my goal in life, as we all do.

I'm somewhat torn between 'corrupt bastard cop' and 'ugly and overweight porn star'. Perhaps you could go for a combination of the two?

ugly overweight cop? ..... ok I'm just gonna leave that one alone.....

Someone has probally already asked this, but what are you studying?

I suggest looking into the wonderful profession of crocodile dentistry. :D

I went with what your best at Drugged up Welfare recipent!
I can picture it now Crowds will line up to see your antics and kids will poke you with a stick as you lay passed out on the curb in a drunken stupor.

Become a Profesional Gambler its my ambitions if i dont make it as a Profesional Cricketer.

:fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: ... fluffle whore! :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:

Someone has probally already asked this, but what are you studying?

Arts, majoring in politics and international studies. In theory, I could do any of the above options (Corporate executive might be a little tricky, though) :p

Become a Clown with a part-time job as a Dentist.

Arts, majoring in politics and international studies. In theory, I could do any of the above options (Corporate executive might be a little tricky, though) :p
The Studies of Bums!

The Studies of Bums!

I seem to recall you haven't bothered with university...I wouldn't say too much. ;)

I seem to recall you haven't bothered with university...I wouldn't say too much. ;)
Thats because im smart enough already. ;)