NationStates Jolt Archive

That's the message the Enzyte commercials give. They show those commercials in blocks of two, one right after the other. What do you think?

I find them increadibly annoying, especially the stupid actress who talks about 'natural male enhancement' and 'the experience'.
If I met her on the street...I would slap her...with some sort of fish preferably.

I have a large penis, and believe me, in no way am I successful, except at having a large penis. I guess it'll have to do. *Sigh* :(

Anyone who buys that crap is a total sucker.

Anyone who buys that crap is a total sucker.

Of large or small penises?

*Repulsed by entire conversation*
Ill let my self out...

Of large or small penises?
Zing!

Ill let my self out...
No! Do up your fly, we're civilised here... :p

This has made my day much better. Thanks.

*opens head*

*washes brain out with Ajax*

Could you explain what happens in these commercials please? I'm guessing they're on American or Sky channels as I've never seen them.

Of large or small penises?
HIYO!!!!!

'natural male enhancement' and 'the experience'

To quote Bottom

Eddie: Well I wasn't the one who was taking rent away to pay for Penis enhancements

Richie: Well it said Natural Penis Enlargment, how was i supposed to know they just gave you a copy of Razzle?

Could you explain what happens in these commercials please? I'm guessing they're on American or Sky channels as I've never seen them.
http://www.asianmediawatchdog.com/enzyte/enzyte.html

That's the message the Enzyte commercials give. They show those commercials in blocks of two, one right after the other. What do you think?
the only trouble with the whole idea is that its very hard to tell if a man has a large penis or if he is just lying about it

so if you take enzyte and have good results, in order to have success you have to show those results

so when you go for a job interview WHIP IT OUT!

when you ask a woman out on a date WHIP IT OUT!

when you go to the neighborhood bbq WHIP IT OUT!

im sure youll be very successful after that.

Could you explain what happens in these commercials please? I'm guessing they're on American or Sky channels as I've never seen them.
Well, one of the commercials goes like this.

A voiceover says "This is Bob"
You see Bob, a skinny, nerdy looking guy with a huge smile that looks like it was induced by electrical stimulation of his facial muscles combined with three weeks of straight methamphetamine use.

Then the voiceover proceeds to describe how Bob has got "A big new swing of confidence" as he tees off with an oversized driver at the golf course.

Bob's two friends look nervous and insecure around him. The voiceover describes how Bob's discovered Enzyte.

Scene cuts to Bob's wife, with a smile on her face that only comes from downing half a bottle of valium and washing it down with three bottles of wine, or having one's brain literally fucked out of one's head. The voiceover says that Bob's got a happy partner back at the clubhouse.

Enzyte is then described as "the pill for natual male enhancement".

the only trouble with the whole idea is that its very hard to tell if a man has a large penis or if he is just lying about it

so if you take enzyte and have good results, in order to have success you have to show those results

so when you go for a job interview WHIP IT OUT!

when you ask a woman out on a date WHIP IT OUT!

when you go to the neighborhood bbq WHIP IT OUT!

im sure youll be very successful after that.

When you're swimming at the pool, man. Do it there, and show everybody what you've done with yourself! It's fun for everyone.

No! Do up your fly, we're civilised here... :p

Oh sorry. Ive been warned before...

so when you go for a job interview WHIP IT OUT!
when you ask a woman out on a date WHIP IT OUT!

when you go to the neighborhood bbq WHIP IT OUT!
im sure youll be very successful after that.

When a problem comes along, you must WHIP IT!

Yeah, a fun time in jail is to be had after that. It's clear that the number one question asked by employers is "what is your penis size", because that makes the man. :p

*takes one look at thread*
AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AHHHHH!AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
*runs screaming like a madman from room*

When a problem comes along, you must WHIP IT!

Yeah, a fun time in jail is to be had after that. It's clear that the number one question asked by employers is "what is your penis size", because that makes the man. :p
Ironically it would be more appreciated in prison.

*returns*
Ok, I really hate those Enzite
commercials. Everytime I see that guy
I feel like cracking him in the face with
a sledgehammer.
Please no prison jokes.
I just had lunch..

at least they use an unknown goofy looking actor and not an endorsement from someone famous.

can you imagine john kerry (after all, bob dole did viagra ads) coming on tv to talk about how much better he feels now that he has a really big penis?

You don't want a big penis, few can blow you and those that try have to battle pubic hair growing up the shaft. What's more it can be difficult to erect as it requires so much blood and it isn't that stable at the base.

can you imagine john kerry (after all, bob dole did viagra ads) coming on tv to talk about how much better he feels now that he has a really big penis?

I could see swift boat ads now: "We served with John Kerry, and know that he doesn't have a large penis....he lied to us..."

at least they use an unknown goofy looking actor and not an endorsement from someone famous.

can you imagine john kerry (after all, bob dole did viagra ads) coming on tv to talk about how much better he feels now that he has a really big penis?
How about just substituting Bob with Bill Clinton, and Bob's wife with Monica Lewinsky? Set one of the commercials in the white house. Bill's meeting with Newt Gingrich, Newt is intimidated by Bill's huge horse cock, then Monica comes into the oval office with a big satisfied smile to light Bill's huge cigar.

How about just substituting Bob with Bill Clinton, and Bob's wife with Monica Lewinsky? Set one of the commercials in the white house. Bill's meeting with Newt Gingrich, Newt is intimidated by Bill's huge horse cock, then Monica comes into the oval office with a big satisfied smile to light Bill's huge cigar.

Bill's got a little more respect, a new vote of confidence, and a very happy intern at home...

This thread is just an excuse to let people talk about their sexual fantasies involving massive wangs.

This thread is just an excuse to let people talk about their sexual fantasies involving massive wangs.
you got a problem with that?

This thread is just an excuse to let people talk about their sexual fantasies involving massive wangs.
Who doesn't love a huge computer from the '80s?

Well, one of the commercials goes like this.

A voiceover says "This is Bob"
You see Bob, a skinny, nerdy looking guy with a huge smile that looks like it was induced by electrical stimulation of his facial muscles combined with three weeks of straight methamphetamine use.

Then the voiceover proceeds to describe how Bob has got "A big new swing of confidence" as he tees off with an oversized driver at the golf course.

Bob's two friends look nervous and insecure around him. The voiceover describes how Bob's discovered Enzyte.

Scene cuts to Bob's wife, with a smile on her face that only comes from downing half a bottle of valium and washing it down with three bottles of wine, or having one's brain literally fucked out of one's head. The voiceover says that Bob's got a happy partner back at the clubhouse.

Enzyte is then described as "the pill for natual male enhancement".
Bob uses his new sized dick as a golf club?!? Now that's a serious bit of wood driver.
I bet his wife is happy about him having 'a happy partner back at the clubhouse'. Though why he's doing it there and not at home is a question she's needs to ask him.
I just watched the Japanese ad, and man it's appalling. They're basically saying that if you've got a big dick, you'll smile like a moron constantly. That's meant to make one want to get some? My guess is that there's no blood up top for thinking anymore.

So it basically comes down to: "Hey honey, I know I was lousy in bed before, but now I've got a big wanger, so it's sex is obviously going to be better!" and "I know I was a fucking spaz when it came to business or golf, but now I've got a dick that'd shame an elephant, I'm Tiger Woods and Donald Trump rolled into one!"
wow. makes me want to rush out and get some, as it obviously will solve all my life's problems.

This thread is just an excuse to let people talk about their sexual fantasies involving massive wangs.
Ohh...I think someone needs some Enzyte. :)

That's the message the Enzyte commercials give. They show those commercials in blocks of two, one right after the other. What do you think?
Enzyte has the most asinine commercials, and that is including that anti-depression drug starring a poring.

Japanese business meeting:
He took Enzyte, and all thr Japanese men are happy.

Cook out:
He took Enzyte, and make better hot dogs. *wink wink*

etcetera

If I thought there was any possiblity of that crap even working, I decry unfairness. I mean, if it worked, those of us who CAN serve dick by the pound would all of a sudden have to compete with dudes who weren't born that way, but just cheated thei way to it with a pill. It wouldn't be such an exclusive thing anymore. Its just like the entire thing with coloured contact lenses. Ever since those have come out, I get asked if I'm wearing them, because my eyes are such an odd colour (a sort of golden yellow/brown) No, these are my eyes. I was born this way, I don't have to cheat to acheive drama.

But its so obvious it doesn't work. The entire thing that bugs me about the Enzyte commercials is that they never actually outirght and clearly make and distinct verifiable claims as to what their product does. "Natural Male Enhancement" That could mean anything really, but it just means nothing. The aren't allowed to show commercials like that on Canadian tv (I only see them on certain American channels, especially Spike)

I'm all balls. :(

Now this is a pointless topic I don't wanna be part of.

Now this is a pointless topic I don't wanna be part of.
Too late.

Well, one of the commercials goes like this.

A voiceover says "This is Bob"
You see Bob, a skinny, nerdy looking guy with a huge smile that looks like it was induced by electrical stimulation of his facial muscles combined with three weeks of straight methamphetamine use.

Then the voiceover proceeds to describe how Bob has got "A big new swing of confidence" as he tees off with an oversized driver at the golf course.

Bob's two friends look nervous and insecure around him. The voiceover describes how Bob's discovered Enzyte.

Scene cuts to Bob's wife, with a smile on her face that only comes from downing half a bottle of valium and washing it down with three bottles of wine, or having one's brain literally fucked out of one's head. The voiceover says that Bob's got a happy partner back at the clubhouse.

Enzyte is then described as "the pill for natual male enhancement".


That smile on the face of the happy partner at the clubhouse may turn into a frown if Bob says he wants to do some anal.

Name me one problem having a massive cock won't solve.

Forgot to bring my golf clubs,use my massive cock instead
Can't reach something on the top shelf,knock it down with my massive cock
Need to vault over a treacherous gap while out being manly and succesful,use my massive cock
Unsatisifed wife,use my massive cock to get a career as a porn star and hire her a better lover(bet you didnt see that coming)

Butthead: Dude, we have bigger dicks!

Beavis: huhuh, yeah!

Butthead: Now I need a bigger hand

You don't want a big penis, few can blow you and those that try have to battle pubic hair growing up the shaft. What's more it can be difficult to erect as it requires so much blood and it isn't that stable at the base.

Thanks for the lovely mental image.

*washes eyes with acid*

Now this is a pointless topic I don't wanna be part of.

Yet you're here. :p

I use my ginormous wang as an ice-breaker at parties. I also use it to start conversations.

and what conversations they must be!

I use my ginormous wang as an ice-breaker at parties. I also use it to start conversations.
I don't know about using my wang as an icebreaker, it might not work right after that, but here's a picture of my wang.

http://www.computermuseumgroningen.nl/wang/wang.jpg

And an 8" wang diskpack

http://www.computermuseumgroningen.nl/wang/wangdiskbig.jpg

8" is enough wang for anyone.

I use my ginormous wang as an ice-breaker at parties. I also use it to start conversations.

that must hurt.who'd want a bruised langer?

Now this is a pointless topic I don't wanna be part of.
I find the best way to accomplish this goal is to not hit the 'respond' button.


Now, here's the thing:
Enzyte (http://www.enzyte.com/) isn't neccisarily to make you member bigger, but rather 'enhance' your erection.
Enzyte is the best because it’s not situation specific. You take one tablet every day, and it helps increase blood flow to the erectile tissues, giving you the kind of erections you had when you were younger. With Enzyte, you’re ready for action 24/7.

Which mean that Smiling Bob isn't walkin' around swingin' the big meat-he's walking around with a full teenage "I don't wanna go to the chalkboard teacher, leave me alone" erection.

So the business men are admiring an erection.

When he loses his trunks the neighbors see his erection.

The secretaries are lining up at the office Christmas party to sit on his erection.

Smiling Bob is more than a creepy dude, he's a sexual preditor. Thanks to Enzyte.

Larger Penis = Success is Newton's lost 4th law.

It's pretty obvious.

I forgot, it also implies that despite the misgivings of young teenage boys, a constant erection is the key to success.

I forgot, it also implies that despite the misgivings of young teenage boys, a constant erection is the key to success.

oh ya.if you go into an interview,an examination,or do anything while you have an eriction,and you maintain it you will automatically succeed.

I forgot, it also implies that despite the misgivings of young teenage boys, a constant erection is the key to success.

It certainly is a test of endurance. I don't know if you've ever had a long-term erection, but it starts to hurt after a while. It simply wasn't meant to hold that much blood for that long a time.

It certainly is a test of endurance. I don't know if you've ever had a long-term erection, but it starts to hurt after a while. It simply wasn't meant to hold that much blood for that long a time.
I think it just starts to get mad. "Are we gonna do this thing or what? C'mon!"

I think it just starts to get mad. "Are we gonna do this thing or what? C'mon!"

yup,leave it too long and the pressure gets too high then



BOOM

Erection Explosion

Am I the only one who appreciates the Enzyte commercials for the awesome song?

I forgot, it also implies that despite the misgivings of young teenage boys, a constant erection is the key to success.

Yeah, which is totally untrue. It certainly didn't help me in seventh grade. :(

;)